


Pokemon Chat Broke

by OasisLake76



Series: Chat fic [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: ANOTHER prokemon chat fic, Gen, Multi, Reachshipping baby, TO MANY fics rn, bruh, but anyways, but my muse wouldn't let me work on anything else rn, but yeah, chatfic, have this, i am starting, so fuck, this is also extremely indulgent, this is like 20 pages long in my google docs, why
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2020-06-29 05:47:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 56,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19823800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OasisLake76/pseuds/OasisLake76
Summary: my muse was yelling at me to focus on this instead of my other stories, this is dumb but i enjoyed making it so some of you guys might like reading it





	1. It Begins

**AshesToAshes** has added  **RockDad, WaterMom, Gay, Sketchme, DTF, Con.Queen, Drgon, WhyAmIAlive, GreenDay, ElectricNerd, KalosQueen, TrueKalosQueen, GreenNMean, MegaDragon, FuCk, Chespie, Con.King, TrueTrueKalosQ, AtMyBest,** And more.

**AshesToAshes named this chat:** It Happened Again ™ 

**Gay** : OMFG

**RockDad** : it hasn’t even been three days Ash

**Gay** : Pay the FUCK UP @ **DTF**

**DTF** : god dammit

**WaterMom** : LMAO 

**AshesToAshes** : so like 

**AshesToAshes** : it wasn’t my fault this time? 

**GreenDay** : When has it ever been your fault? 

**AshesToAshes** : True

**AshesToAshes** : but Tapu Koko kinda just went ‘ _ mine _ ’ ? and claimed me for something? 

**TooPure** : ??? 

**ElectricSN** : this happened BEFORE!?!

**RockDad** : You’d be surprised 

**AshesToAshes** : I’m up to what? 14 encounters now? 

**Gay** : Around 40 more like it 

**FlameLesbian** : Ash what the actual  _ Fuc _ ? 

**AshesToAshes** : Its. not. My. Fault!!!1 

**WhyAmIAlive** : I don’t even know more than most of these people

**WhyAmIAlive** : How TF do you make friends so easily?? And are they all from one region??? 

**AshesToAshes** : It just 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ Happens _ ? 

**DTF** : True, Also i’m May from Hoenn

**AshesToAshes** : oh FC, no Paul

**AshesToAshes** : anyways it’s probably best we say our names and where We’re from. But you guys know my name and where I’m from, of course 

**RockDad** : I’m Brock from Kanto

**WaterMom** : I’m Misty, also from Kanto

**Gay** : I’m Gary and I’m from Kanto too, also Ash’s first friend 

**SketchMe** : I’m Tracey! And I’m from Tangelo Island 

**AshesToAshes** : I meant in generale Tracey 

**SketchMe** : Oh! My bad. Orange Islands 

**DTF** : I’m May from Hoenn 

**Con.King** : I’m Drew, @ **DTF** boyfriend and also from Hoenn.

**FlameLesbian** : by the way @ **DTF** we never established the true meaning to your username

**DTF** : Down To Fight. Since I’m angry 60% of the time

**Flamelesbian** : Ah gotcha

**FlameLesbian** : I’m Zoey from Sinnoh

**Con.Queen:** I’m Dawn, also from Sinnoh! 

**ElectricSN** : @ **Con.King** @ **Con.Queen** doesn’t it get weird if you guys have matching names tho??? 

**Con.King** : at first yeah

**Con.Queen** : then everyone just learned to ignore the con part and see it its queen talking or King 

**FoodForThought** : Makes sense

**Drgon** : I’m Iris and I'm from Unova 

**GreenDay** : I’m Cilan! A Pokemon connoisseur and a gym leader from Unova

**TooPure** : a Connoisseur?

**Drgon** :  _ Ignore him _

**AshesToAshes** : just don’t ask Lillie

**GreenDay** : RUDE!

**WhyAmIAlive** : Uhg, I’m Paul and also Unova 

**WhyAmIAlive** : I don’t want to be here   
  


**Drgon** : Then leave???

**Why AmIAlive** : We’ve already established that Ash is a fucking god and I can’t Iris 

**WhyAmIAlive** : that asshole hacked me into his contacts along with those Asshats that belong to team rocket

**GreenDay** : that is true

**AshesToAshes** : Don’t piss me off then paul, or i’m sending you into the Shrek ™ Zone

**WhyAmIAlive:** Not again!!! I just clean my phone from all of our fucking shrek viruses!!

**ElectricSN** : i am 

**ElectricSN** : So confused??? 

**WaterMom** : You get used to it eventually 

**RockDad** : Arcues knows we did

**ElectricNerd** : Anyways… 

**ElectricNerd** : I’m Clemont and i’m also a Gym Leader for Kalos 

**TooPure** : didn’t Kalos just recently had a city catastrophe? 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ We don’t talk about that Pyroar furry in this hellhole  _

**FoodForThought** : Tapu! Alright! 

**KalosQueen** : I’m Serena, Kalos native also! 

**TrueKalosQueen** : And I’m Shauna, Kalos too

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : I’m Miette, Kalos 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : Also @ **AshesToAshes** have you been seeing anyone lately? 

**KalosQueen** : MIETTE!!!

**AshesToAshes** : I suddenly can’t read 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : Come on Ash, don’t you wonder what it’s like to kiss a queen? 

**KalosQueen** : Miette don’t you DARE!!! 

**AshesToAshes** : Been there, done that 

**AshesToAshes** : it’s like kissing any other girls

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : Oh

**KalosQueen** : Oh 

**Drgon** : I can literally see hearts breaking on my screen rn

**AshesToAshes** : Hmm??? Don’t know what you mean @ **Drgon**

**FlameLesbian** : @ **AshesToAshes** you utter sweet summer’s child 

**AshesToAshes** : ??? even more confused

**MegaDragon** : holy hell Ash,

**AshesToAshes** : !!!! I saw the news yesterday!!! Are you okay??

**MegaDragon** : yes, I’m fine Ash 

**MegaDragon** : I’m Alain and I’m also from Kalos 

**Chespie#1** : @ **MegaDragon** !!! you should be resting! 

**Chespie#1** : And Hi! I’m Mairin Kalos is my home! 

**MegaDragon** : I'm sorry and please don’t  **@** the professor Mairin, I slept for too long today and Watching the chat is fun

**Chespie#1** : Well… alright, but don’t stay on too long! Or I’ll call Malva on you! 

**MegaDragon** : Please don’t, I’d prefer the Professor more than her anger.

User  **HoundDoom** has entered the chat  **It Happened Again™**

**MegaDragon** : Oh  _ no _

**AshesToAshes** : Hi Malva! 

**HoundDoom** : okay 1.

**HoundDoom** :  _ what the fuck Ash,  _ and hi sweety

**HoundDoom** : 2. You’re on thin fucking ice @ **MegaDragon**

**MegaDragon** : I KNOW!!! 

**KalosQueen** : I didn't see the news today, what happened!?

**ElectricNerd** : Same

**TrueTrueKalosQ:** Same 

**TrueKalosQueen** : Same 

**HoundDoom** : @ **TrueTreuKalosQ** @ **TrueKalosQueen** @ **KalosQueen** @ **ElectricNerd** , this dumb fuck launched himself at @ **FuCk** Charziard when it got spooked by a smaller Pokemon and broke his left leg and arm. 

**HoundDoom** : it was all over the news and he’s hella grounded 

**Drgon** : Ha! 

**GreenDay** : Iris don’t laugh!! 

**MegaDragon** : Nah it’s fine @ **GreenDay**

**GreenDay** : if you say so 

User  **FuCk** has entered the chat  **it Happened Again™**

User  **sQuirtle** has entered the chat  **It Happened Again™**

User  **GreenNMean** has entered the chat  **It Happened Again™**

User  **AtMyBest** has entered the chat  **It Happened Again™**

**FuCk** : Oh good, you’re okay Alain! 

**FuCk** : Also, @ **AshesToAshes** who is @ **GarchompMAX** @ **BidFoo** l @ **DragonMaster** @ **SStone** @ **HelpMePLS** @ **WhiteEmpress** @ **MothersAshes** @ **ProfSamuel** @ **MegaStone** @ **Rotom** and @ **RingsOfFire** ???

**AshesToAshes** : YOU  _ FOOL!!!! _

**FuCk** : ???? WHAt dud I Do!?!?

**RockDad** :  _ oh no _

**MegaDragon** : !!!!! thanks 

**MegaDragon** :  _ just what I don’t need rn _

**FoodForThought** : ??? you all lost me

**TooPure** : ???? whats going on

**AtMyBest** : oh no, i recognize one of those usernames 

**AtMyBest** : @ **FuCk** you did a bad thing

**FuCk** : IM AWARE @ **AtMyBest**

**Con.Queen** : TREVOR CALLED _THEm_ _ThaT WhAt._

**ElectricSN** : I’m hella scared now

**Gay** : you utter  _ bafoon _ @ **FuCk**

**AshesToAshes** : I Can already feel them login on right now

**HoundDoom** : you children are Fucked™ now 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ thanks for your help Malva _

**HoundDoom** : good luck kiddies.

User  **GarchompMax** has entered the chat **It Happened Again™**

User  **BidFool** has entered the chat  **It Happened Again™**

User  **DragonMaster** has entered the chat  **It Happened Again™**

User  **SStone** has entered the chat  **It Happened Again™**

User  **HelpMePLS** has entered the chat **It Happened Again™**

User  **Rotom** has entered the chat **It Happened Again™**

User  **WhiteEmpress** has entered the chat  **It Happened Again™**

**GarchompMax** : @ **AshesToAshes** _what the fuck did you do child_

**AshesToAshes** : It wasn’t my fault Cynthia!!!! 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ I promise _ !!! 

**DragonMaster** : I trust literally any of your Pokemon over you 

**GarchompMax** : i second that 

**AshesToAshes** : Diana make them stop!!! 

**BidFool** : I can gladly step in for you Ash 

**AshesToAshes** : _I didn’t ask you_ @ **BidFool** _stop being thirsty_

**WhiteEmpress:** Now Cynthia and Lance, we should have more trust in Ash now. 

**WhiteEmpress** : he has dealt more with legendaries than all of us combined. 

**GarchompMAX** : you do have a point, the three do like him alot

**DragonMaster** : UHG! 

**DragonMaster** : i hate it when you’re right Diana

**WhiteEmpress** : I always am Lance.

**WhiteEmpress** : and Alder, you should know better than to start hitting on Cynthia while the chat is mostly consistent of teens, no matter  _ how old _ they are.

**BidFool** : there is literally a user named @ **Gay** on here Diana, why are you calling me out like this

**Gay** : Speak for yourself you thirsty old man i maybe Gay but i still get some

**Gay** :  _ unlike you _

**Drgon** : OH GOT ‘EM!!!

**DTF** : fkjhsdfhifwihjdehb

**DTF** : M WHezin

**DTF** : HeLp

**Con.King** : Please for the love of Arcues don’t kill my girl @ **Gay**

**Gay:** I speak the truth and  _ only _ the truth when it comes to old geezers like @ **BidFool**

**DTF** : shfvushfkhwe i ufhwuye 

**DTF** : STOp!11!!

**HelpMePLS** : Wait I’m so confused rn??? 

**AshesToAshes** : We all bet how long I can last until a Legendary yeets itself straight into me out of the hellhole that is my life™

**AshesToAshes** : And I only lasted about half a day but no one believed me until last afternoon when Tapu Koko, MeleMele Island Guardian and legendary took my hat and raced off into the forest 

**AshesToAshes** : and then challenged me to a Poke battle so it could teach me a Z Move that use to belong to the magical crystal that was on my Zring that's on my left wrist

**AshesToAshes:** but then it disintegrated after I used it the first time 

**AshesToAshes** : also it created a huge crater in the ground where Tapu Koko was Standing 

**WhyAmIAlive** : pics or it didn’t happen 

**FlameLesbian** : I agree, pics or you lyin’ 

**RockDad** : this is  _ Ash  _ we’re talking about? 

**Gay** : So? 

**AshesToAshes** has sent file:  **FukinTrymeMate** to the GC

**DragonMaster** :  _ what the ever living fuck Ash _

**SStone** : I am 

**SStone** : So scared for you Ash

**AshesToAshes** : Don’t worry about it @ **SStone**

**AshesToAshes** : you get used to it after a while

**SStone** : this isn’t comforting at all 

**SStone** :  _ but thanks _

**Rotom** : i am also confused? 

**Rotom** : from what user @ **Gay** has said in the bigining of the creation of this chat 

**Rotom** : Ash has meet every legendary so far up until Alola where he just met the one Tapu Koko before Professor Kukui had gifted me to him

**Rotom** : And he didn’t  _ tell me!? _

**AshesToAshes** : @ **Rotom** you called me and i quote ‘ painfully average “ so I didn't because you wouldn't believe me. 

**Con.Queen** : Lmao 

**Con.Queen** : WHAT??? 

**RockDad** : you are anything  _ but _ painfully average Ash

**WhyAmIAlive** : you are definitely a pain in my ass tho. 

**WhyAmIAlive** name has changed into  **PurpleShrek**

**PurpleShrek** : Wait no 

**PurpleShrek** : i take that back 

**AshesToAshes** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**ElectricSN** : why did you change your name??? 

**DTF** : now thats cursed 

**RockDad** : that pretty tame for him actually 

**PurpleShrek** : I Didn’T 

**PurpleShrek** : ASH DID!

**ElectricNerd** : Wat

**ElectricSN** : ???? 

**DragonMaster** : It always amazes me that Ash can’t cook or do laundry right but he can hack into anything you set in front of him

**AshesToAshes** : they don’t know that Lance!!!!! 

**DragonMaster** : well now they do

**AshesToAshes** : you’re an asshole and I'm going tell Agatha to hit you with her caine 

**DragonMaster** : like she can reach me 

**AshesToAshes** : but Bruno and Lorelei can 

**DragonMaster** : Wait  _ Fuck no please _

**AshesToAshes** ; answer to your sins Lance 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ they will find you like i can _

**Con.King** : 1 fear 

**DTF** : 1 fear

**MegaDragon** : 1 fear

**RockDad** : 1 fear 

**Drgon** : 1 fear

**GreenDay** : 1 fear 

**GreenNMean** : 1 fear

**FuCk** ; 1 fear 

**Gay** : 1 fear

**WhiteEmpress** : Lance you deserve this 

**GarchompMax** ;  _ the queen has spoken _

**GarchompMax** : @DragonMaster has been sentenced to 

**GarchomMax** :  _ the caine _

**DragonMaster** ; i thought you were on my side!?!?!

**DragonMaster** : What gives??? 

**GarchompMAX** : you never go against the team up of Agatha and Ash

**GarchompMAX** : they whooped our asses on the main regional GC 

**GarchompMAX** : So… ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**garchomMAX** : and plus i’m in Sinnoh??? Get Green to help you

**DragonMaster** : the fucker’s in Alola with Red on their honeymoon 

**DragonMaster** : I don't want to face the wrath of both of them and Agatjfvhekfhekrhfikewhyrfnkjehfkehur

User  **DragonMaster** has logged out of the group chat  **It Happened Again™**

**AshesToAshes** :  _ the punishment has come to claim it’s victim _

**Gay** : so, 1 fear again

**SketchME** : Lmao Same

**RockDad:** Ash? 90% angel, 10% Demon 

**AshesToAshes** : sounds about right 

**MegaDragon** : okay so 

**MegaDragon** : I’m bringing up the  _ villain furry _

**AshesToAshes** :  _ Why _

**MegaDragon** ; because I have a question for you 

**AshesToAshes** : Oh shoot then

**Megadragon** : why didn’t you just...

**MegaDragon** : punch him??? 

**AshesToAshes** : because I’m a short person at 5’05” and he’s a tall fucking bastard?? At like 7 feet?

**AshesToAshes** : also if i did he could have just yeeted me off the fucking Lumiouse tower roof and i be severaly hurt 

**Gay:** _note he didn’t say dead guys_

**AshesToAshes** : @ **Gay** I’m imortal so far that i know so  _ shut the fuck up _

**AshesToAshes** : and i have to admit i’m a twink compared to that fucker?? 

**HoundDoom** : everyones a twink compared to that asshole 

**HoundDoom** : except Wulfric 

**HoundDoom** : Mans a beast

**WhiteEmpress** : You’re not wrong malva 

**GreenNMean** ; ejhbfjkfh 

**GreenNMean** : I just came to the realization that there are actual champions in this chat right now

**TooPure** : !!!!!

**ElectricSN** : oh god 

**AshesToAshes** : i mean…

**AshesToAshes** : their ordinary people too…

User **DragonMaster** has entered the chat  **It happened Again™**

**DragonMaster** : ulik u 

User  **DragonMaster** had left the chat  **It Happened Again™**

**Gay:** oh my GAWd

**PurpleShrek** : what the fuk? 

**WaterMom** : the man braved his punishment so he can log onto here to call Ash out 

**Con.King** : we stand 1 legend 

**DTF** : it said he left but he didn’t log out 

User  **AshesToAshes** has added User  **QueenElsa** into the chat **It Happened Again™**

**QueenElsa** : okay 1. @ **BidFool** you owe me a shiny Dratini 

**BidFool** : fuck, forgot about that

**QueenElsa** : and 2. Lance is getting thrown into a nearby river by Bruno rn as Agatha watches with an evil smirk by the deck from the castle that looks down onto the river

**QueenElsa** : so, Ash 

**QueenElsa** : what did you do!?

**AshesToAshes** :  _ the buffoon is facing punishment  _

**QueenElsa:** Ah, just scrolled up a way, you do love throwing your uncle into the water don’tcha? 

**AshesToAshes** : he has to face his sins Lorelie 

**QueenElsa** : I agree, but I actually have work to do

**QueenElsa** : so bye chicklings!!! It was nice to meet all of Ash’s friends! 

User **QueenElsa** has logged out of the chat  **It Happened Again™**

**TooPure:** Isn’t she the ice type trainer for kanto’s Elite Four??? 

**Gay** : Yeah she is 

**AshesToAshes** : Yep 

**ElectricSN** : Am I the only one still shocked that Ash can hack apparently anything??? 

**ElectricNerd** : nope same hat my dude 

**FoodForThought** : I’m still in awe that Ash knows about every elite four and champion of every region

**AshesToAshes** : most regions 

**FoodForThought** : McScuze me???

**AshesToAshes** : most regions, I haven't been to Galar and a few other places yet, and i don’t know all of the gym leaders in each region 

**AshesToAshes** : just the ones i come across, but the champions are slowly trying to introduce me to them over text 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : your fave would never

**Rotom** : I have finished my data collecting! 

**SketchMe** : what did you find?? 

**Rotom** : that @ **AshesToAshes** is  _ not _ a painfully average trainer as i suspected 

**RockDad** : I have a  _ laundry list  _ of stories that state otherwise, I can send you @ **Rotom**

**Rotom** : that would be very helpful! Thank you

**RockDad** ; no problem

**SketchMe** : literally half of the people on are just ghost watching this chat rn

**Gay** : because it’s a train wreck that we lost control even before Ash thought of making it

**AshesToAshes** : speaking of that 

User  **AshesToAshes** has changed the group chat name  **It Happened Again™** to  **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**GarchompMAX** : why??? 

**AshesToAshes** : why not??? 

**BidFool** : thats fair to be honest 

**WhiteEmpress** : is it bad that i ugly snorted at the name? 

**AshesToAshes** : !!!1!1!1!!!

**GarchompMAX** : DON’t TELL HIM THAT 

**AshesToAshes** ; I HavE BEen GIVen A RIGht 

**GarchomMAX** : see @ **WhiteEmpress** ? 

**WhiteEmpress** : let him have some fun! Arceus know he doesn’t get enough 

**DTF** : it’s so interesting just to watch Ash fight with adult people 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ listen _

**AshesToAshes** :  _ i have fought with and against them , I Have bled for my region and their own  _

**AshesToAshes** :  _ I have earned the right to call a champion out on their bullshit, they eat and shit just like we do _

**Gay** : okay, so 

**Gay** : stop being scary 

**AshesToAshes** : no 

**Gay** : thats fair. 

User  **DragonMster** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**DragonMaster** : I’m…

**DragonMaster** : I’m not going to comment on the name 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ good choice _

**DragonMaster** : but I did notice your mother is on this chat

**AshesToAshes** : don’t even  _ think _ about it dumbster fuck 

**RockDad** : Arceus Ash 

**AshesToAshes** : she never checks these kinds of chats anyways, she only check the one chat that’s just her and me 

**AshesToAshes** : so  _ good luck  _

**DragonMaster** : damn, my own nephew coming out to bury me alive 

**AshesToAshes** : didn’t Yellow defeat your whole team with three under leveled Pokemon? 

**AshesToAshes** : you have no right to talk 

**BidFool** : Ash bringing out the lava i see 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ shut _

**DragonMaster** : Alder i swear on my cape i will dunk you in any near by body of water if I ever see you again

**BidFool** : Arceus, damn 

**BidFool** : they really are uncle and nephew

**AshesToAshes** : werhfbdhfujef 

**WaterMom** : you okay Ash? 

**AshesToAshes** : NO 

**Gay** : ???

**AshesToAshes** : ROCKRUFF HAS SOMETHING IN HIS MOUTH THAT HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO I HAVE TO GO 

User  **AshesToAshes** has logged out of the chat **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**


	2. yuck, legal stuff

Group Chat:  **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : Oh @ **AshesToAshes** is on! 

**KalosQueen** : Miette… 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : Whats Wrong with wanting to see me king? 

**KalosQueen** : Miette.

**AshesToAshes** : the only thing I’m king of is the mountain of sin’s that are weighing on my shoulder 

**Sketchme** : can you be a little more Cheerful Ash? 

**AshesToAshes** : not until Lance learns to fuck off

**DragonMaster** : Oh i’m sorry, did I offend you 

**DragonMaster** : tiny baby 

**AshesToAshes** : I am not a child!! 

**DragonMaster** : so smol 

**DragonMaster** : i can just cup you into my hands, thats how tiny you are

**AshesToAshes** : i’l get Bruno to chuck you into the river again 

**AshesToAshes** : Don’t think i wont, he loves moms cooking 

**DragonMaster** : yeah but no one else is at the castle today 

**DragonMaster** : so eat shit tiny fuck face

**FoodForThought** : this is… 

**FoodForThought** : An experience 

**FlameLesbian** : LMAO, Mallow right? Just wait it’s getting good 

**FoodForThought** : oH

**SStone** : but me and @ **Bidfool** are at the kanto airport waiting for you 

**DragonMaster** : ShIT I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOMETHING

User  **DragonMaster** has left the chat  **Champion Machine broke** **¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**AshesToAshes** : Hey @ **Bidfool**

**BidFool** : wat 

**AshesToAshes** : i’ll get mom to make her chicken pot pie if you wrestle Lance into the nearest body of water 

**BidFool** : you just want me to throw him in the lake 

**AshesToAshes** : YE

**BidFool** : idk

**AshesToAshes** : Damn, and i offered moms home cooked food 

**BidFool** : JK i’ll do it, he already wants to chuck me in the river near his place anyways from last week

**BidFool** : consensual river chucking 

**GreenDay** : never in my life did i think i had to read those three words on a chat app from my champion and boss 

**BidFool** : ah, sorry Cress 

**GreenDay** :.... 

**AshesToAshes** : BRUH

**Drgon** : Seriously??? 

**BidFool** : What?? 

**AshesToAshes** : @ **GreenDay** ‘s name is CILAN not Cress 

**AshesToAshes** : Now you get no home cook meal and I hope he chucks you into the deep end 

**DTF:** i had to read all of this with my own eyes 

**GreenDay** : it’s fine Guys! I get mistaken for my brothers sometimes and the Champion doesn’t see our Gym as often as others since not a lot of people challenge it 

**Drgon** : that still shit my home boy 

**Con.Queen** :  (ง'̀-'́)ง heads up Alder 

**RockDad** : not my son asshole 

**GreenDay** : is this what parental love feels like? 

**RockDad** : YES 

**WaterMom** : holy fuck yes 

**WaterMom** : Ash collects broken people as much as he collects emotionally broken pokemon

**AshesToAshes** : coefeiuhfkuh

**AshesToAshes** : that was just Charzard and Infernape okay!

**AshesToAshes** : but you’re also not wrong tho 

**AshesToAshes** ; you fuckers are mine now 

**GreenDay** : Pansage misses you 

**Drgon** : So does Axew!! 

**AshesToAshes** : I miss them too!! Give them a big hug for me PLS!!! 

**Drgon** : Will do!! 

**GreenDay** : It’s my day off anyways and i’m refusing to get out of bed for once

**AshesToAshes** : OwO Wats Diss? 

**Con.King** : what the holy fucking hell!? 

**GreenDay** :  _ Oh no _

**AshesToAshes** : Wazy Ciwan? Impawsible! 

**GreenDay** :  _ Take me now Arceus, my bodies willing and ready  _

**PurpleShrek** : you dumb fuck, that will only make him stronger!! 

**AshesToAshes** : Nah, just fuckin with y’all 

**FuCk** : Did

**FuCk** ; Did Ash just?

**MegaDragon** : Did i just fucking witness 1 (one) city boy named Ash Ketchum say the word 

**MegaDragon** : Y’ALL???? 

**AshesToAshes** : Who TF said i was a city boy??? 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ because i want names so i can make them a gravestone so when I knock out their horrible soul from their unworthy meat sack.  _

**MegaDragon** : Oh please let me be the first one you kill oh mighty god of memes 

**HoundDoom** : No Killing!! 

**AshesToAshes** : but Malva! 

**MegaDragon** : Malva!!! 

**HoundDoom** : @ **MegaStone** and @ **RingOfFire** come contain your rowdy sons 

User  **MegaStone** has entered chat  **Champion Machine Broke** **¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

User  **RingOfFire** has entered chat  **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**AshesToAshes** : It official now 

**AshesToAshes** ; Me and Alain are brothers now 

**AshesToAshes** : I love my older brother, two dads, my mom, my idiot uncle, my two amazing aunts, and my two parent friends

**AtMyBest** : you two do look alike… 

**DragonMaster** : … 

**AshesToAshes** : …. 

**AshesToAsh** : i need 

**AshesToAshes** : i need to lay down brb

**TrueKalosQueen** : LMAO you broke Ash Nini 

**AtMyBest** : look…

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : looking 

**atMyBest** : i… i don’t have an answer

**SStone** has sent a  **video** to the GC 

**AshesToAshes** : OMFG ALDER ACTUALLY DID IT 

**AshesTOAshes** : AND EVEN IN TH FUCKING AIRPORT THE FUCKIN MAD MAN 

**RingOfFire** : I am 

**RingOfFire** : so confused?????? 

**TooPure** : you get used to it Professor Kukui 

**AshesToAshes** :.... 

**RingOfFire** ; What ash? 

**ashesToAshes** : your name sounds familiar 

**RingOfFire** : I have no idea what you mean!? 

**MegaStone** : Omg Kukui, you haven’t told your class? 

**MegaStone** : Let alone your Border!

**RingOfFire** : HUSH 

**TooPure** : ? 

**FoodForThought** : What? 

**ElectricSN** : I’m… 

**RushingRiver** : ??? 

**AshesToAshes** : Anyways… 

**TooPure** : ! 

**TooPure** : Ash! 

**AshesToAshes** : yeah lillie? 

**TooPure;** Can I add my brother onto here? 

**AshesToAshes** : Sure why not! 

User  **AshesToAshes** has given temporary Mod controls to  **TooPure** that will end in  **24 hours**

**TooPure** : (ᵔᴥᵔ)

User  **TooPure** has added user  **DarkLight** into the chat  **Champion Machine Broke**

**¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**DarkLight** : WHU 

**TooPure** : you need more friends brother 

**TooPure** ; Now you’re here 

**TooPure** :  _ make some _

**FoodForThought** : 1 fear 

**ashesToAshes** : oh god 

**RushingRiver** : DRAG HIM LILLIE 

**WelaFire** ; Oh my Arceus, never knew Lillie could be so mean 

**DarkLight** : What

**DarkLight** : What the fuck is this 

User  **AshesToAshes** has left the chat **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**DarkLight** : WHY

**DarkLight** : WHY IS THE GC NAMED THAT 

**GarchomMax** : Yo, sinnoh champion here 

**DarkLight** : WHA? 

**WhiteEmpress** ; It’s nice to meet more of Ash’s friends! Also I’m the Kalos Champion 

**SStone** : I’m the old champion to Hoenn but wallace who is @ **HelpMePLS** is currently working so he can’t be on here today 

**SStone** ; but we also have Lance @ **Dragonmaster** from kanto and Johto, along with Alder @ **BidFool** from Unova

**DarkLight** : I feel like 50 years have been taken off my life

**Whiteempress** : you get used to it sweetheart

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**AshesToAshes** : And thats why when Police are involved i’m the one to talk to them because i was the only legal adult in the group at the time bonnie 

**AshesToAshes** : uh, wrong chat 

**DTF** : what the hell were you talking about Ash??/ 

**ElectricNerd** ; what were you talking about with Bonnie? 

**AshesToAshes** ; Ah… 

**AshesToAshes** : she asked me out of the blue why i was the only one allowed to talk to the police even though Clemont is a Gym leader 

**AshesToAshes** ; I told her that since the legal age to be represented as an adult in kalos is 18 unlike Kanto who is 10

**AshesToAshes;** Another reason why Kanto has a broke league system @ **DragonMaster**

AshesToashes: Anyways, since my first journey and home town was in kanto i became a legal adult at the ripe age of 10, even though i get called a kid a lot of the time 

**AshesToAshes** : Especially in unova, @ **Drgon** both me and cilan were your superior BTW

**Drgon** ; WAT!?

**AshesToAshes** ; and it’s also law that once you become an adult somewhere, thats when you become and adult everywhere 

**AshesToAshes** : thats why the police referred to me in all situations that we come across them is because i have been an “ adult “ for over 7 years while Clemont is 1 year shy of 18 along with Serena being 2 year shy 

**ElectricNerd** ; Oh, i always wondered why Officer jenny bee lined for you once they record our trainer License 

**TooPure** : wait 

**AshesToAshes** : waiting 

**TooPure** ; since Alola’s legal adult age is 20 does that make Ash our superior? 

**WelaFire** : I don’t want to think about that at all please

**RushingRiver** ; Oh wow, never thought about it that way 

**FoodForthought** ; same… 

**ElectricSN** : No wonder why my mom called you a “ nice young adult “ once you stated your age and you’re from kanto and that she left you alone with me in my lab

**RushingRiver** : She did?!/

**AshesToAshes** : I’m missing something here?? 

**WelaFire** ; Soph’s mom doesn’t allow two kids in his lab alone without an adult near by or inside, but since she recognized ash as an adult she let them go alone

**AshesToAshes** : Ah… Also your moms really sweet @ **ElectricSN** !! her malasadas are so yummy!!! 

**ElectricSN** : Thank you Ash!!! She really like to make people food so she tries really hard on them!!! 

**DTF** : Huh, what about in johto and Hoenn? 

**RockDad** ; i can answer that one, it really matters who’s been an adult much longer than anyone else in the group you’ve been traveling with 

**AshesToAshes** ; which is another point to broken championship because they never fix that rule, the officers should talk to all adults no matter how long the trainer has been registered as one 

**RockDad** ; i agree, but since i was around 18 at the time and Misty was 14 we already had 12 years on ash combined, even then i was the one to step up most of them time since Ash was new and Misty never went on a journey before 

**DTF** : Wow, i feel so informed now 

**DTF** : thanks dad!!! 

**RockDad** ; no problem my gremlin child 

**DTF** : wjhefugw rfs hewf h 

**Con.King** : Watch me die over here wheezing 

**DTF** : DOn’t CHANGe My NaMe ASH! 

**AshesToAshes** : Wasn’t planning too May 

**DTF** : my own dad called me his gremlin child 

**DTF** : thats my name now!!! 

User  **DragonMaster** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**DragonMaster:** _i hope your fucking happy Ash_

**ashesToAshes** : Seeing Alder bear hug you to only jump into the airport waterfall in tow? 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ i’m still riding this emotional high _

**Dragonmaster** ; AFC ASH

**DragonMaster** : _ THE OF GC IS LAUGHING AT ME  _

**AshesToAshes** :  _ i know and i’m  _ **_LIVING_ **

**RingOfFire** : speaking of adults age and such @ **AshesToAshes**

**RingOfFire** : I have some paper work here that your mother couldn't sign since you are a legal adult in Kanto and therefore here in Alola as well 

**AshesToAshes** ; can i ask what it’s about? 

**RingOfFire** : legal school paperwork, like how you’ll stay with the class and not just drop it halfway through and that you’re liable to any damages that happens at the school that you make and that you’ll have to pay for it 

**AshesToAshes** : Ah, so what every league makes me sign when i register, it’s all cool 

**AshesToAshes** : Do i need to come down from the loft or? 

**RingOfFire:** No, i’m coming up from my lab so i’ll just slide them into the loft 

**AshesToAshes** : careful of rockRuff, he’s by the ladder

**RingOfFire** ; then can you come down? He likes to chew on any paperwork his little teeth can latch on to 

**AshesToAshes** ; Lmao yeah, give me a minute pikachu and Rowlet or on top of me 

**RingOfFire** ; take your time the paperwork on the counter 

**AshesToAshes** : ‘aight

**AshesToAshes:** and in other news 1 (one) @ **DragonMaster** is getting called out on this chat because he called me a little twink bitch on the Fam Chat 

**DragonMaster** ; THAT STAYS ON THE FAM GC ASH 

**AshesToAshes** : NOT WHEN YOU CALL ME A TWINK 

**TooPure** ; i can agree that Ash is not a twink 

**TooPure** ; he is actually quite built and has even more muscle weight than Kiawe! 

**DragonMaster** : Wat 

**FoodForThought;** Lillie!!! 

**ElectricSN** : Uhm, I’m going to need proof of that 

**WelaFire** : HIGHLY UNLIKELY

**TooPure** : Well Here! 

**TooPure** has sent multiple files  **Ash** to the GC 

**WelaFire** ;.... 

**FoodForThought** : oh wow… 

**DTF** : I SEE YOU WORKING OUT ASH 

**AshesToAshes** : sjhwfhkahefk 

**AshesToAshes** ; can’t let you beat me when I see you again may 

**DTF** : You better bring your A game fucker

**AshesToAshes** : oh i will 

**DarkLight** :.... 

**DarkLight** :  _ how old are you!?  _

**AshesToAshes** : 18 almost 19 why? 

**DarkLight:** DAMN

**AshesToAshes** : ???

**TooPure** : My big brother is 17 years old 

**AshesToAshes** ; Ohhhh 

**DarkLight** : i can’t belive he’s my superior, and from what shit Lillie tells me you guys get up to

**AshesToAshes** ; and just for that 

**DarkLight** changed their username to  **SupremeEdge**

**SupremeEdge** : HOW

**SupremeEdge** :  _ WHAT _

**SupremeEdge** :  **_WHO_ **

**AshesToAshes** :  _ i created this chat and i’m the god of it  _

**SupremeEdge** ; Never in my life i thought i would get here 

**TooPure** : What big brother? 

**SupremeEdge** :  _ ultimate fear  _

**AshesToAshes:** LMAO

**AshesToAshes** ;  _ good _

**AshesToAshes** : but i have to go, there's papers that need reading and signing

  
User  **AshesToAshes** has logged out of the chat  **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**


	3. Parental Unit Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey whats up, me posting on the same fic in lest than a few hours?? more likely than you think.   
> i also love the trope of parent because Ash doesn't have enough, a lot of them don't have enough so here!

Group chat:  **Alola My Love**

**ElectricSN** : @ **AshesToAshes** _please explain your family tree_

**ElectricSN** :  _ i’m so confused??/  _

**AshesToAshes** : Lmao, sorry you guys were new to the chat 

**AshesToAshes** : the person titled MothersAshes is my mom of course, but she rarely comes on and it’s when she’s messaging her girlfriends or me 

**FoodForThat** ; who’s her girlfriend if you don’t mind telling??/ 

**AshesToAshes** : Champion Diana and Cynthia 

**WelaFire** : WHU 

**SupremeEdge** : How??? 

**AshesToAshes** : okay so 

**AshesToAshes** : she met Cynthia when i finished my Johto league and she wanted me to come along with her and spend the summer at her house, so that was an experience 

**AshesToAshes** : but so did Lance, my uncle thats more like an annoying brother, and so i wanted to go with cynthia but mom was the final decision 

**AshesToAshes** ; and so since lance already pissed my mom off with something that she won’t tell me about she said yes to Cynthia and actually came with us 

**AshesToAshes** : I love my mom but she was so gross with the flirting

**AshesToAshes** : then came kalos and I almost left it in a body bag 

**RingOfFire** : MCSCUZE ME 

**RingOfFire** :  **_WHAT_ **

**AshesToAshes** : Ruh Roh Scooby

**RingOfFire** : **ASH**

**AshesToAshes** :  _ FUCK ME SCOOBY  _

**TooPure** : Oh No!!!! Please explain Ash!!! 

**AshesToAshes** : do i have to? 

**RingOfFire:** i am the mod to this chat and i 

**RingOfFire** :  _ Will _

**RingOfFire** : Bring Diana in here 

**AshesToAshes** : Arceus  _ dad _

**RingOfFire** : _ Son _

**AshesToAshes** :  **_Don’t call me out like this_ **

**AshesToAshes** : but yeah, you guys watched both of the news channels that covered this? 

**SupremeEdge** ; the Whole WORLD watched Ash

**AshesToAshes** : i was to the one with the suped up Greninja 

**RingOfFire** : Holy Arceus

**RingOfFire** : Where are you Ash

**AshesToAshes** : taking a night stroll on the beach, i’m a little ways from the house??? 

**RingOfFire** : aight

User  **RingOfFire** has left the chat  **Alola My Love**

**AshesToAshes** :  _ Scooby I fucked up big time now _

User  **AshesToAshes** has left the chat  **Alola My Love**

  
  


Group Chat:  **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

User **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**AshesToAshes:** _HALP_

**AshesToAshes** :  _ MOTHER # 2 + # 3 _

**AshesToAshes** : @ **GarchomMAX** AND @ **WhiteEmpress**

**AshesToAshes** : I THINK I BROKE ShbkjDkjhBhHEDHBKJHBDe

**WhiteEmpres** : ASH??? 

**GarchomMAX** : Oh shit 

**GarchomMAX** : @ **All** yo to the alola kiddos 

**GarchomMAX** : WTF is  _ happening???  _

**TooPure** : Ash was talking about the kalos Incident 

**WhiteEmpress** : Oh…  **_that_ **

**GarchomMAX** : 1 fear 

**Dragonmaster** : 1 fear

**SStone** : 1 fear

**HoundDoom** : 1 fear 

**QueenElse** : 1 fear 

**HelpMePLS** : 1 fear 

**BidFool** : 1 fear 

**MegaStone** : 1 fear

**ElectricNerd:** _even our professor_

**MegatStone** :  _ Listen…. _

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : Listening

**MegaStone** : theres cynthia’s anger which is pretty normal to see 

**GarchomMAX** : Can’t argue with you there 

**MegaStone** :  _ then theres Diantha who’s on the next fucking level _

**GarchomMAX** : i did 1 fear because it’s true

**WhiteEmpress** : thank you love  **❤**

**GarchomMAX** : dsjhbfhefqhe  **❤❤❤**

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : Your fave would never! 

**Drgon** : YOUR FAVE WOULD 

**Drgon** : SMASH THAT CYNTHIA 

**WhiteEmpress** : my dear Cynthia can’t, but i can with @ **MothersAshes** **❤**

**GarchomMAX** : fhjefdjwrfjegdf 

**Drgon** : WAT 

**Con.Queen** : fvjherfeuyf  _ well okay then _

**BidFool** : wait 

**BidFool** :  _ Wait _

**BidFool** :  _ WHEN DID YOU TWO GET TOGETHER WITH ASH’S MOM _

**GarchomMAX** : omfa you really are a big Bidoof

**GarchomMAX** : uhhhh 

**GarchompMAX** :  _ 3 years now bitch _

**WhiteEmpress** : and it’s been 1 (one)  _ whole _ year since i joined them! 

**GarchomMAX** : i miss you two so much!  **❤**

**WhiteEmpress** : we miss you too  **❤❤❤❤**

**WhiteEmpress** : two heart from each of us!! 

**GarchomMAX** : !!!!!!

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**AshesToAshes** :  _ boy howdy do i love all of my 3 (three) moms y’all  _

**MegaDragon** : catch me in the club still crying at the news that Ash uese the fucking word  _ Y’all _

**GarchomMAX** ; YOU GAVE ME AND YOUR 3RD MOTHER A HEART ATTACK YOU LITTLE SHIT 

**WhiteEmpress** ; Ash what happened!?!?!

**AshesToAshes** : got body slammed into a hug by one @RingOfFire 

**AshesToAshes** ;  _ And it feels fucking  _

**AshesToAshes** :  **_Great Y’all_ **

**Gay** :  _ Ash quick _

**Gay** : on the scale from 1 to 10 how good does he hug 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ there is no number big enough to even make it possible to show you _

**AshesToAshes** : Let me 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ LET ME PAINT THE MOTHER FUCKIN’ PICTURE  _

**AshesToAshes** : here i am, no Pokemon with me as i take my night stroll and chatting in one of my group chats with my alolan people 

**AshesToAshes** : when suddenly we’re on the topic of kalos 

**WhiteEmpress** :  **_Yuck_ **

**AshesToAshes** : I agree but  _ HUSH  _

**AshesToAshes** : when suddenly i scare the Professor out of the chat and i turn into 1 (one) scared boi 

**AshesToAshes** : then i call to my wonderful lesbian mothers who actually partake in this cursed chat of ours 

**AshesToAshes** : when suddenly i hear feet on sand and i don’t have time to even fucking look up when my body is directly pulled from my sitting position and my phone is locked and flow out of my hand a little ways in front of me 

**AshesToAshes** ; and it’s the professor who’s just bear hugging me and grabbed my phone so he can 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_CARRY ME LIKE A FUCKING RAGGAMUFFIN ALL THE WAY UP TO THE PORCH OF HIS HOUSE WHERE WE ARE NOW SITTING AS HE POINTS OUT DIFFERENT CONSILATIONS OF STARS IN THE NIGHT SKY AS I SIT CURLED INTO HIS SIDE_ **

**DTF** : YOUR FATHER FIGURE WOULD NEVER

**AshesToAshes** :  _ MY FATHER FIGURE DID THO MAY  _

**Con.King** : lmao @RockDad is my father figure in this chilis tonight 

**RockDad** : whats the mood tonight kids? 

**FuCk** : Loving our father figures since most of them are shit @ **MegaStone**

**TrueKalosQueen** : AMEN 

**MegaStone** :  _ … oH _

**MegaDragon** : you stood up for me and i will always be thankful 

**Chespie#1** : you always encouraged me to continue on even when Chespie wasn’t feeling well 

**MegaStone** :  _ forgive me my children i need to go cry _

User  **MegaStone** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**sQuirtle** : oh my god we broke him 

**GreenNMean** : who has an actual dad? 

**DTF** : me and brother max 

**ElectricNerd** : me and Bonnie do 

**AshesToAshes** : I do but he’s in jail 

**WaterMom** :  _ we don’t talk about him _

**AshesToAshes** : Kukui looked at my screen and pulled me into a tighter hug 

**Gay** : how you feelin? 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ loved and protection that a father could only give _

**AshesToAshes** : Kukui has wet eyes now just fyi 

User  **AshesToAshes** has changed the group chat name **Champion Machine Broke**

**¯\\_(ツ)_/¯** to **Love Thy Parental Unit**

**RockDad** : brb need to cry 

User  **RockDad** has left the chat  **Love thy Parental Unit**

**AshesToAshes** : mom just texted me what the fuck i did to make 2 of my moms cry lmao 

**AshesToAshes** : anyways i need to sign off, it’s late and we have school tomorrow and Kukui is debating on taking my phone even after out bonding moment so Yeet everyone! 

  
User  **AshesToAshes** has logged out of the chat **Love thy Parental Unit**


	4. The Mad Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I know I really should be putting more effort into my other stories, but this one allows me to be more through with my thoughts so yeah 
> 
> 2) and yes I'm posting a third chapter for today since I'll be out camping for the next five days so I won't be around many electronics
> 
> 3) and I absolutely LOVE and Adore reading your guys comments on the chapters, they make my day amazing and I always look forward to reading them in the morning

Group Chat: **Love Thy Parental Unit**

**Gay** : is there a god in this Chilis tonight? 

**DTF** : Idk let me @ ash 

**DTF** : @ **AshesToAshes** yo my homie 

**AshesToAshes** : YE my homie?

**DTF** : where do i find your godly being this ( Alolan? ) night time? 

**AshesToAshes** ; in the nearby Bowling center in the 69nth lane bowling ball machine after you drink 6 ⅛ of 5 hour energy drinks and scream count up to the letter 420 in the language Galar 

**Gay** : thats’s hella picific bro 

**AshesToAshes** : you can also contact me with an ouija board but i’ll only be able around 3 to 3;30 AM 

**Gay** : Again 

**Gay** :  _ hella picific  _

**SupremeEdge** : is it just common knowledge that Ash is a cryptid god? 

**PurpleShrek** :  _ DON’T ASK THAT _

**SupremeEdge** changed their username to  **BabyEdge**

**BabyEdge** : … 

**PurpleShrek** :  _ i warned you  _

**PurpleShrek** :  _ we don’t fuck with the veil that is Ash Ketchum _

**PurpleShrek** :  _ It’s thin enough  _

**DragonMaster** : hey @ **AshesToAshes**

**DragonMaster** : you’re a shit god 

**DragonMaster** changed their username to  **TwinkBitch**

**AshesToAshes** ; what was that? 

**TwinkBitch** : you still aint shit 

**AshesToAshes** : says the man standing in his bathroom wearing Shrek booty shorts 

**twinkBitch** :  **_HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT_ **

**AshesToAshes** : i’m this GC god 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ i have died more times than I can remember  _

**AshesToAshes** :  _ i have past the veil of death so many times that i  _ **_AM_ ** _ the veil now fucker  _

**AshesToAshes** :  **_i see everything_ ** __

**HoundDoom** : that’s the reason why Lysandre is dead 

**HoundDoom** ; he tried to use the veil for his personal gain 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ you don’t fuck with the veil  _

**AshesToAshes** :  **_the veil fucks with you_ **

**HelpMePLS** : catch me crying in the club because Ash really freaks me out like this 

**AshesToAshes** ;  _ good _

**AshesToAshes** ; Also Alder is about to send a half concealed nude to you in about 5 seconds @ **TwinkBitch**

**TwinkBitch** : eiuhfiuefiugf 

**TwinkBitch** :  **_STAP_ **

**AshesToAshes** ; never

**TooPure** : oh! How is everyones picture going btw? 

**RushingRiver** ; mine are coming out good! 

**FoodForThought** : cryin’ in the club rn 

**AshesToAshes** ; take star photo’s 

**FoodForThought** : how tf do you always save my projects last minute Ash?

**AshesToAshes** ; thinking under pressure is my specialty 

**RockDad** ; can attest to that 

**WaterMom** : i have 

**Watermom** ;  _ to many stories _

**RingOfFire** : i don’t want to know 

**WaterMom** : lmao thats fine professor! 

**BidFool** ; i fear 1 god 

**BidFool** : and it’s the child that made this chat 

**AshesToAshes** : we established this already old man, like last week when you yoted both lance and yourself into the airport waterfall and gave steven a heart attack

**AshesToAshes** : I’ve been and adult since i was ten 

**AshesToAshes** : so i’ve been adulting for 8 years now 

**Gay** : never 

**Gay** :  _ EVER _

**Gay** ; use yeet in past tence besides ‘yeeted’ please 

**AshesToAshes** : sorry gary but my will to care has yoted itself out of my body so long ago

**Gay** :  _ you are so dead to me _

**AshesToAshes** ; so nothing new then 

**Gay** : webwedbjf  _ Die please _

**ashesToAshes** : again  _ sorry i can’t _

**MegaDragon** : ?? I’m confused on how Ash hasn’t died yet 

**RockDad** ; oh he has definitely died on us before 

**WaterMom** ; Trust us 

**MegaDragon** :  _ COME AGAIN NOW PLEASE? _

**AshesToAshes** ; i actually died during the kalos incident, when Fuck face McFurry had beamed me with his red mega light shit 

**AshesToAshes** : i got up to the white clouds of heaven only to have Arceus yell NOPE! And use his powers to slam my whole soul back into my body with the rage of a thousand angry pidges formed into one giant one 

**AshesToAshes** : i am also Mew’s favorite person and she would start a war with me alongside mewtwo 

**RockDad** ; i can see that 

**WaterMom** ; sound 100% correct 

**Megadragon** ; i am now too scared to ask what the  _ hell _ is a mewtwo

**AshesToAshes** ; good choice bud 

**Megadragon** : you really are a god 

**AshesToAshes** ; @ **Chespie#1** Chespie is about to fall off the top stair banister in the entryway 

**Chespie#1** : !!!!! 

**Chespie#:** has sent file  **OHMYGODTHX** to the GC

**Chespie#:** never doubted you god 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ thank you my least goblin child  _

**MegaDragon** : fkerfhjkf Im  _ S oB biN g _

**BabyEdge** : why TF can i not change my name??? 

**AshesToAshes** : locked it, let me change that 

**BabyEdge** has changed their name to  **DarkLight**

**DarkLight** has changed their name to  **SupremeEdge**

**SupremeEdge** : god _ DAMMIT ASH  _

**PurpleShrek** : when can i come out of the Shrek ™ Zone? 

**AshesToAshes** ; oh for a while now, unlocked it last Wednesday 

**PurpleShrek** : i would have liked to be IDK…. 

**PurpleShrek** : _ IN FORMED _

**AshesToAshes** : that was my mistake sorry, i got busy yelling at Alder to try and dye Lances hair 

**AshesToAshes** : @ **TwinkBitch** and @ **BidFool** how’s the hair situation? 

**Bidfool** has sent file  **BlueBitch** to the GC 

**BidFool** has sent file  **GreenBean** to the GC 

**BidFool** : i feel accomplished that i got him right before we had a meeting with most of the kanto and Unova gym Leader staff 

**WhiteEmpress** : it was funny to see Lance stomp into the room like a tiny toddler and have everyone snicker at him for a good 2 hours as I sat in the Big Girl™ chair on my phone 

**TwinkBitch** has changed their username to  **DragonMaster**

**AshesToAshes** : it’s tiring to see your name 

**Dragonmaster** ;  _ Gee Thanks God _

**AshesToAshes** ; i have to say that wasn’t one of my best names 

**DragonMaster** :  _ yeah no shit Sherlock  _

**AshesToAshes** : shut the fuck up Watson 

**DragonMaster** : Brb i have to go chuck one stone lovin adult sized toddler into the river 

**SStone** : FUCK I WAS HOPING YOU DIDN’T NOTICE ME 

**DragonMaster** :  _ eat river clay mother fucker _

User  **DragonMaster** has left the chat **Love Thy Parental Units**

User  **SStone** had left the chat  **Love Thy Parental Units**

**FlameLesbian** : ekjfkehfk @ **AshesToAshes** _BOI_

**AshesToAshes** : hmm? 

**FlameLesbian** : care to tell us why you and 1 (one) champion named lance have a river fetish? 

**HoundDoom** : I don’t need to read this with my own two eyes 

User  **HoundDoom** has logged out of the chat  **Love thy Parental Units**

**AshesToAshes** : fwjhdjwdjh 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ did i never discuss what one tall Lanky mother fucker that goes by the name green did?  _

**FlameLesbian** : uh… nO? 

**AshesToAshes** : _ I have failed you my children  _

**AshesToAshes** : hold on this story’s long 

**FlameLesbion** : oh goodie, love long stories

**GarchompMAX** : you’re in for a treat this is a good one

**AshesToAshes** :  _ okay so, _ me and mom were invited to a league potluck lunch at the castle that was hosting some of the league’s Gym leaders, all the Elite Four and the Champions at the time. So Wallace wasn’t in this story 

**AshesToAshes** ; so we get there with Green in tow with his boyfriend Red, the champion that stepped down and gave lance back his shit load of paper work back. Lance was mad and was quietly and trying to subtly hint that since red is back up and healthy again since that  _ Motherfucker _ just came back down from Mt. Silver because the love of green and also his pestering 

**AshesToAshes** : that the man, that is mute and  _ still  _ healing, should take the role of champion back up again, both mom and Green were heckin Furious. But mostly green since he promised Red on the way up there he would have a good time and the buff man  _ wasn _ ’ _ t _ at the moment 

**AshesToAshes** ; so Green, the true  _ motherfucker _ , with his red solo cup in hand calmly walks to the river that runs by the Castle, and the bank for a good foot is really slippery since thats where the Elite Four wash their Pokemon and cool off on a hot day and that it was known that dratini and dragonair swim upstream to get to the lake thats not far off 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ And this lanky ass genius  _ just casually say’s in a board tone 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ “ hey lance, i think i see a shiny dragonair and dratini  _ “ 

**AshesToAshes** ; and lance just bolts to the river bank where green is but he slips on the wet grass and lands into the fucking river 

**AshesToAshes** : completely soaking most of his clothes and cape, so Alder and Steven go and try and help to poor bastard out only for Steven to get pulled in because he didn’t know about the foot rule on the river bank and Alder also got pulled in because he tripped on his own two feet 

**AshesToAshes** : and Agatha starts yelling at them since she’s the oldest person there and is like everyone's favorite grandma that you really don’t want to disappoint. So theres three out of the five champion absolutly fucking soaked from head to toe, Cynthia is cackling next to my mom while a different champion besides Diana was scoffing at the men

**AshesToAshes** : @ **BidFool** remind me who because you also hit on her 

**BidFool** ; fjhbdkjhb, her name was cadenza and she specializes in fairy Types 

**AshesToAshes** ; thank you, back to the story 

**FlameLesbian** :  _ Yes please, I’m living rn _

**AshesToAshes** ; good. So red’s hiding his face behind greens back and clearly from his big meaty shoulders bouncing up and down red was laughing so mission accomplished and it also rewarded everyone there when Agatha wouldn’t let the three wet champions go and track clay, mud, and river water all throughout the giant house 

**AshesToAshes** : Which mood 

**AshesToAshes** : Anyways, she made Akder and Steven  _ strip down to their pants then made Lance strip down to his fucking boxers _

**AshesToAshes** : and that’s also the story of how we also found out that Lance is a secret twink because he was wearing Shadow the Hedgehog booty shorts under his clothes. 

**FlameLesbian** : i am 

**FlameLesbian** :  _ cryin so hard in the club right now _

**Flamelesbian** :  _ Ash what the fuck is your life _

**AshesToAshes** :  _ tbh _ , never asked for any of this, Arcues gathered all the legendaries and pointed at 10 year old me and said 

**AshesToAshes** : _ i want that one, let’s make this boy’s life amazing and wonderful yet let’s kill and revive him so many times that he losses track  _

**FlameLesbin** : fjhekfjg no wonder why Brock is so done with your shit 

**RockDad** ; no, i was just tired for the extent of the whole Sinnoh journey, trying to be a Pokemon Doctor, hello 

**Flamelesbian** ; my mistake, have a good life 

**RockDad** : Lmao, tryin’ right now but my parental units are _ broke™  _ and my little brother has to take over the gym 

**AshesToAshes** : say high for me btw! 

**RockDad** ; oh i will when i call him tonight 

User  **SStone** has entered the chat  **Love Thy Parental Units**

**SStone** : BEFORE LANCE ACTUALLY KILLS ME I MAY HAVE SNEAKED INTO HIS ROOM AND MAY HAVE FOUND A BAD THING

**GarchomMAX** : _you utter_ **_Mad man_**

**GarchomMAX** : he kills literally kills anyone that try and go in there without his  _ explicit  _ consent 

**GarchompMAX** : we pray for you soldier, keep running 

**SStone** : THX CYNTHIA, MY HERT IS JUS BURS RN 

**AshesToAshes** : what did you find!?!? 

**SStone** has sent file  **CURSED™** to the GC

**SStone** : DON LET MY SACRIF BE IN VAN CNTHA 

**GarchompMAX** : _ i fucking love you, you funky little pan man _

**SStone** : SEN IT TO EVRY ONDKHEKHF

User  **SStone** has logged out of the chat  **Love Thy Parental Units**

**AshesToAshes** :  _ he truly is a Mad Man holy shit _

User  **DragonMaster** has entered the chat  **Love thy Parental Units**

**DragonMaster** : 

**GarchomMAX** : 

**AshesToAshes** : 

**DragonMaster** :  **_...Listen_ **

**GarchompMAX** ; _ OH MY FUCKING ARCUES LANCE _

**AshsesToAshes** :  _ I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW THAT WHAT THEY HELL WHY DO YOU HAVE  _

**GarchomMAX** ; **_OVER 20 PAIRS OF CHARACTER THEMED BOOTY SHORTS LANCE_ **

**GarchompMAX** :  **_AFC_ **

**AshesToAshes** : i can never unsee that now 

**AshesToAshes** : I’m sending that to mom 

**DragonMaster** :  _ Listen  _ @ **GarchompMAX**

**Dragonmaster** :  **_LISTEN_ ** @ **AshesToAshes**

**BidFool** : you have no defence in this situation 

**GarchompMAX** ;  _ you really don’t lance _

**DragonMaster** : well excuse me! I just find them a lot more comfy than normal underwear for men!!

**GarchompMAX** : it’s because you’re a closeted gay Twink even though  _ everyone _ knows 

**DragonMaster** :  **_stop calling me out like this Cynthia you Lesbian_ **

**GarchomMAX** : at least i can get some,  _ unlike you _

**DragonMaster** :  _ i don’t like this song playing in this Chilis tonight boys  _

**GarchompMAX** : and what in Giratina hellhole did you do to steven!?!?!

**DragonMaster** ; he threw his phone into some bush and i chased him until he slipped on the Bank™ and fell face first into the river clay and water 

**GarchomMAX** : I am 

**GarchomMax** :  _ so done with you _

**RingOfFire** : and SPEAKING of being so done 

**RingOfFire** : @ **AshesToAshes** we have a big school field trip tomorrow and we have to be up bright and early 

**AshesToAshes** : shit, lmao i’ll chat up with you guys tomorrow, Pikachu is giving me his Stink Eye™from the loft, night! 

User  **AshesToAshes** has logged out of the chat  **Love They Parental Units**

  
  



	5. Split Parental Supervision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I never even told you guys who every one is
> 
> AshesToAshes: Ash  
> RockDad: Brock  
> WaterMom: Misty  
> Gay: Gary  
> Sketchme: Tracey  
> DTF: May  
> Con.King: Drew  
> Con.Queen: Dawn  
> FlameLesbian: Zoey  
> WhyAmIAlive = PurpleShrek™: Paul  
> Drgon: Iris  
> GreenDay: Cilan  
> Electricnerd: Clemont  
> KalosQueen: Serena  
> TrueKalosQueen: Shauna  
> TrueTrueKalosQ: Miette  
> sQurtile: Tierno  
> FuCk™: Trevor  
> GreenNMean: Sawyer  
> MegaDragon: Alain  
> Chespie#1: Mairin  
> AtMyBest: Nini  
> RushingRiver: Lana  
> WelaFire: Kiawe  
> TooPure: Lillie  
> ElectricSn: Sophocles  
> FoodForThought: Mallow  
> DarkLight = SupremeEdge: Gladion  
> Rotom: Rotom  
> Run: Barry  
> StopMePls: Bianca  
> @Me: Stephen  
> Don't@Me: Cameron  
> Ritchie:Ritchie  
> GarchompMAX: Cynthia  
> BidFool: Alder  
> DragonMaster; Lance  
> SStone: Steven  
> HelpMePLS: Wallace  
> WhiteEmpress: Diantha  
> QueenElsa: Lorelei  
> ProfSamuel: Prof Oak  
> RingOfFire + ProfKukui: Kukui  
> ProfBurnet: Burnet  
> K.Hala: Hala  
> K.Olivia: Olivia  
> K.Nanu: Nanu  
> HoundDoom: Malva

Group Chat:  **Love Thy Parental Units**

User  **ProfSamuel** has entered the chat  **Love Thy Parental Units**

**RockDad** : oh professor Oak!   
  


**TooPure** :  _ dndjjqnedb BDUWKWNSB _

**SupremeEdge** : hey sis you okay? 

**TooPure** :  _ nO!!!  _

**TooPure** : I’m sorry, it’s just that Professor Oak is really amazing!! 

**ProfSamuel** : why thank you, and sorry but who gave you that

**ProfSamuel** : ooh darn it, what is it when you shorten your name or someone gives you a name that isn’t your birth one? I’m getting old 

**Gay** : it’s called a nickname 

**ProfSamuel** : ah thank you Gary 

**Gay** :

**WaterMom** : wmdhajan  _ PrOfEssor OaK SIr  _

**ProfSamuel** : I know my grandson for all of his life, I would know what kind of name he would have 

**Gay** :  _ this song playing in this Chili’s tonight?  _

**Gay** :  **_it SUCKS_ **

**TooPure** : ah my brother Gladion did! @ **SupremeEdge**

**RockDad** : how is typing on a phone Professor Oak? I bet typing is hard on the keyboard 

**ProfSamuel** : Son, life is hard. It just the matter of surviving what Arceus throws at you 

**Gay** : grandpa still be his whimsical self I see 

**ProfSamuel** : you should try it sometime 

**Gay** : smdjanenf

**Gay** :  _ I don’t need this  _

**ProfSamuel** : ah I can probably guess a few of these names on here 

**ProfSamuel** : @ **BidFool** must be Alder 

**BidFool** : 

**GarchompMAX** : DNSJJSNDJD YES IT IS SAM

**BidFool** :  _ I don’t like this call out  _

**ProfSamuel** : ah yes @ **GarchompMAX** is definitely Cynthia, since she is the only one to call me Sam 

**ProfSamuel** : say hi for Garch for me? 

**GarchompMAX** : always Sam 

**ProfSamuel** : @ **RockDad** and @ **WaterMom** must be Brock and Misty respectfully 

**RockDad** : you are not wrong! 

**ProfSamuel** : I’m taking Ash did those names? 

**RockDad** : can’t change them, and frankly their scarily correct 

**ProfSamuel** : that boy can do great things if he puts his mind to it 

**RockDad** : can attest to that 

**ProfSamuel** : @ **WhiteEmpress** must be Diantha, @ **MegaStone** is highly Professor Sycamore

**ProfSamuel** : @ **SStone** the old champion Steven? But I do know @ **QueenElsa** is Lorelei 

**QueenElsa** : you're not wrong Professor! 

**ProfSamuel** : and @ **DragonMaster** has to be Lance, his ego is spread on that name for a mile wide streak 

**DragonMaster** :  _ hey now _

**GarchompMAX** : your a loser 

**QueenElsa** : lose your streak now 

**BidFool** : GET PLAYED 

**DragonMaster** :  _ I don’t like this remix, Alexa  _

**ProfSamuel** : and the user that’s named AshesToAshes must be Ash 

**WaterMom** : why do you not  **@** him Professor? 

**RingOfFire** : it’s like

**RingOfFire** : 3 AM over here in Alola and Ash hasn’t slept in 2 days because of some stuff that he can tell in his own power to the group

**ProfSamuel** : and I am also here to do something

**ProfSamuel** : gosh, what is it called again when you need to tell people what someone else did something bad and they need everyone to know it? 

**SketchMe** : it’s called a ‘ call out ‘ Professor 

**ProfSamuel** : thank you Tracey, I need to do a ‘ call out ‘ message of my nephew Gary 

**Gay** : oh no 

**ProfSamuel** : you should really look who you are sending things too, my dear nephew 

**ProfSamuel** : because receiving a message from you during a meeting which the new Hoenn champion wasn’t expected 

**Gay** : Oh No 

**ProfSamuel** : it’s even more shocking when I open the message during a break to be shocked even more from the message you sent 

**Gay** : oH nO 

**ProfSamuel** : especially when it’s a link to a cactus dildo and the following message which was supposed to go to Ash I think 

**Gay** :  _ OH NO _

**ProfSamuel** : “ since you’re still complaining about me in Alola i found a way to have a part of me there with you “ 

**Gay** :  **_I DON’T LIKE THIS SONG, ALEXA_ **

**DTF** : suncdfjn WHeeZIng 

**DTF** : @ **Con.King** HAlp 

**Con.King** : please stop trying to kill my GF 

**ProfSamuel** : I only speak truths dear person 

**DTF** : STahP 

**DTF** : PLS 

**GarchompMAX** : grandpa like nephew 

**ProfSamuel** : hmm? 

**Gay** : nothing gramps 

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Love Thy Parental Units**

**AshesToAshes** has sent File  **AhShit** to the GC 

**AshesToAshes** has sent video  **HereWeGoAgain** to the GC 

User  **AshesToAshes** has logged out of the chat  **Love Thy Parental Units**

**RockDad** : wha 

**RockDad** : why 

User  **DragonMaster** has entered the chat  **Love Thy Parental Units**

**DragonMaster** :  _ WHY IS 1 (ONE) LEGENDARY LUGIA IN ALOLA  _

**GarchompMAX** : SNJDJWJENDGSHW 

**GarchompMAX** :  _ CHILD _

**WhiteEmpress** : Ash get back on here! Don’t ignore us! 

**RingOfFire** :  _ ASHTON GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE  _

**RingOfFire** :  **_RIGHT NOW_ **

**QueenElsa** : DOESN’T ALOLA HAVE THEIR OWN WATER LEGENDARY? 

**RingOfFire** :  _ YES, ITS TAPU FINI AND IT LIVES ON PONI ISLAND _

**RingOfFire** :  _ BUT I WANT TO KNOW WHY THE BEAST OF THE SEA HAS MY FUCKING BOARDER  _

**RingOfFire** :  _ EVEN THEN HE SHOULDN’T BE WITH ANY LEGENDARIES _

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Love Thy Parental Units**

**AshesToAshes** : okay first 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ 1 fear _

**RingOfFire** :  **_Good._ **

**FoodForThought** : smdnajnedb 

**WelaFire** : I can feel his full front disappointment from my phone 

**ElectricSN** : dude, you haven’t even been here for a full 2 months 

**ElectricSN** : yet you somehow got Professor Kukui's Parental Units feeling tripping up 

**AshesToAshes** : wmdHajdHJENDNA

**AshesToAshes** :  _ thank you, but your comments are not needed right now  _

**AshesToAshes** : second 

**AshesToAshes** : you all do know I’m the fated Chosen One™ right? 

**RingOfFire** : 

**DragonMaster** : common knowledge 

**RockDad** : regrettable yes 

**WaterMom** : me and @ **SketchMe** were there and experience first hand 

**RingOfFire** : 

**SStone** : still have nightmares about you and your Pikachu fighting Groudon 

**DTF** : that was a  _ fun  _ time @ **SStone**

**Con.King** : there’s a reason why I don’t call out Ash I’m his shit most of the time 

**RingOfFire** : 

**WhiteEmpress** : lets not forget Ash was the main part of the Kalos Crisis alongside Lysandre 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ mmmm, not good very bad time _

**RingOfFire** : 

**RingOfFire** : so 

**RingOfFire** : so you're saying that Ash has met most of the whole world of legendaries through conflict? 

**RockDad** : oh at least 97% of the time 

**WaterMom** : Mew and MewTwo was a  _ trip _

**MegaDragon** :  **_I still don’t know what the fuck is a MewTwo and I’m still Afraid to ask_ **

**RingOfFire** : I 

**WelaFire** : you okay Professor? 

**RingOfFire** :  _ no. No not at all Kiawe _

**RushingRiver** : oh no!

**AshesToAshes** : you know 

**AshesToAshes** : the Kalos Crisis was even more worse than that Time™ with Gratini and going through the Hell Portal 

**Con.Queen** : or dealing with Meloetta and Team Rocket 

**AshesToAshes** : not so fun fact 

**AshesToAshes** : Their in Alola now! 

**WaterMom** : god fucking dammit!!!! 

**AshesToAshes** : lmao they’ve been here for a while, just occurred to me to tell you all 

**AshesToAshes** : also 

**AshesToAshes** has sent file  **HeSaysHi** to the GC 

**FlameLesbian:** god dammit, now I can’t be mad 

**AshesToAshes** : he’s wearing my hat! ^_^ 

**RingOfFire** : excuse me 

**RingOfFire** : I need something to drink and some Advil 

User  **RingOfFire** has logged out of the chat  **Love Thy Parental Units**

**AshesToAshes** :  _ catch me crying in the club  _

Group chat:  **Alola OF GC**

**K.Hala** : @ **ProfKuku** i why is your boarder playing fetch with Lugia of all things? 

**K.Olivia** : MCSCUSE ME?!?!? 

**ProfBurnet** : are 

**ProfBurnet** : are you actually serious? 

**K.Hala** has sent file  **TapuWhy** to the GC 

**K.Hala** : I very rarely joke about legendaries 

**K.Nanu** : is 

**K.Nanu** : is that same child that won against both of you? @K.Hala @K.Olivia 

**K.Olivia** : yeah 

**K.Olivia** : yeah he is 

**K.Hala** has sent files  **ActualTapuKokoWhy** to the GC 

**K.Hala** : I don’t understand 

**K.Nanu** : isn’t he also the one that went through an Ultra Wormhole with his class? 

User  **ProfKukui** as entered the chat  **Alola OF GC**

**ProfKukui** : I have acquired my flask of Bourbon and i refuse to answer any questions at this moment 

**K.Hala** : that means yes 

**K.Nanu** : it honestly looks like Lugia is passing the kid over to Tapu Koko 

Group chat:  **Alola Love**

**AshesToAshes** : Welp boi’s and Gurls 

**AshesToAshes** : i feel like Lugia and Tapu Koko have split parental supervision over me and Lugia was just passing me off to his Ex husband 

**WelaFire** :  _ fsjhejkrfhj  _

**ElectricSN** : welp there goes kiawe 

**RushingRiver** : why do you say that Ash? 

**AshesToAshes** : because Tapu Koko flew over to where i was playing ‘ Don’t let the beach ball drop ‘ with Lugia and they both stopped and talked to each other for a little bit over my head 

**AshesToashes** : it doesn’t help that they referred to me as ‘ their shared kid ‘ also 

**SupremeEdge** : i can’t tell if i’m either scared OF you or scared FOR you 

**AshesToAshes** : it’s best if it was both 

**tooPure:** oh Arceus 

**AshesToAshes** : it doesn’t bother me anymore anyways, i’ve dealt with so much shit that I honestly could care less 

**AshesToAshes** : and don’t  **@** me, we all went through that whole together to go save your mother 

**AshesToAshes** : anyways i’m going back to bed where Lugia rudely flew over the house to wake me up 

User  **AshesToAshes** has logged out of the chat  **Alola Love**


	6. Emotions Sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you want to have a good relationship of any kind, you MUST have good communication with the other party or shit will go down. 
> 
> i also am hopping on the " Ash eating shampoo " train but i put an angst twist on it, my bad. And i'm debating on writing a Fic that is apart of the chapter but that's a big maybe.
> 
> but also this touches on the topic of a character, Ash, having ADHD and how it's effecting him so be warned if this is a topic that's sensitive to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AshesToAshes + ChosenOne: Ash   
> RockDad: Brock  
> WaterMom: Misty  
> Gay + BabyGod: Gary   
> RingOfFire + Prof.Kukui: Professor Kukui  
> MegaDragon: Alain  
> Drgon: Iris  
> GreenDay: Cilan  
> DTF: May

Group chat:  **Love thy Parental Units**

User  **AshesToAshes** has changed the group chat name  **Love Thy Parental Units** to  **Godly Supervision PLS**

**AshesToAshes** : So it’s 3 Am over here and Professor Kukui is away for the week 

**RockDad** :  **_OH NO_ **

**WaterMom** :  _ OH NO _

**Gay** : i love how they both just know that Ash has probably done some kind of stupid shit and probabaly blown up the house. 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_SHUT_ **

**AshesToAshes** **_: THAT WAS ONE TIME_ **

**MegaDragon** : what in Arceus did you do then 

**AshesToAshes** : i got absolutely DRENCHED in muddy water from Lycanroc 

**AshesToAshes** : so my dumb ass dicided to take a shower at 2 in the morning because no adults right? 

**RockDad** : oh no 

**AshesToAshes** : UP SHUT 

**AshesTOAshes** : Anyways, my tired brain accidently miscalculated where my hair was and i got a mouth full of Shampoo 

**Drgon** :  _ Ash _

**AshesToAshes:** hold on Iris it gets worse 

**MegaDragon** : Train wreck starting off early for you Ash 

**AshesToAshes** : Yes i know Alain now  _ up shut your fuck _

**AshesToAshes** : i don’t spit out the mouthful of shampoo 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ No _

**AshesToAshes** :  _ i swollowed a whole fucking mouth full of the shampoo on instinct _

**RockDad** :  **_I_ **

**RockDad** :  **_WHA_ **

**RockDad:** **_HOW_ **

**RockDad:** **_ASHTON_ **

**Gay** : I am going to literally yeet you into the sun 

**MegaDragon** : WTF Ash, how is that just instinct??? 

**Drgon** : LMAO how much Shampoo did you eat when you were a toddler 

**DTF** : How have you actually gotten this far in your life 

**WaterMom** : how stupid do you have to be 

**WaterMom** : To eat fucking  _ shampoo _ ? 

**WaterMom** : Did you think it was yogurt or something??? 

**AshesToAshes** : no 

User  **RingOfFire** has entered the chat  **Godly Supervision PLS**

**AshesTOAshes** :  _ No _

**RingOfFire** : 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_NO_ **

**RingOFFire** :  _ We haven't even left for half a week _

User  **AshesTOAshes** has muted User  **RingOfFire** in the chat  **Godly Supervision PLS** for  **2 hours**

**Drgon** : Ash what the actual fuck???? 

**MegaDragon** : Bruh?????

**AshesToAshes** : I don’t want the person who i look up to as my father figure look at me worse than he already does okay! 

**AshesToAshes** : I can take the chirping from everyone else here but not from him, especially when he probably thinks of me like a fucking idiot that shouldn’t be trusted with a simple fucking little house plant

User  **AshesToAshes** has logged out of the chat  **Godly Supervision PLS**

**Drgon** : Damn

**GreenDay** : you all did go a little to far on the chirping

**RockDad** : take care of what you say guys, Professor Kukui is muted but he can still see our messages as they come in 

**Drgon** : Shit u right 

**Gay** : hmm 

**WaterMom** : What’s up Gary? 

**Gay** : nothing, i have my phone on speaker text, so it caught me humming 

**WaterMom** : Oh Okay, anyways yeah we were kinda hard on him than normal

  
  


**BabyGod** has added  **ChosenOne**

**BabyGod** has named this chat:  **let’s talk**

**BabyGod** : Ash i know you can see this right now 

**BabyGod** :  _ please _ respond 

**BabyGod** : please, please, please don’t hide away. Just like last time it won’t do you any good at all 

User  **ChosenOne** has entered the chat  **let’s talk**

**ChosenOne** : last time i found out Giovannie was my dad from fucking Ghetisis of all people 

**ChosenOne** : so that was  _ very fucking reasonable _

**BabyGod** : that still doesn’t mean you get to hide away forever, i understand that you need time but you went cold  _ three fucking months _ on us when you found out, we had to get Iris and Cilan to fly over for a week and your mother was also cold with Cynthia for a long ass time 

**ChosenOne** :  _ Gary, you’re not helping _

**BabyGod** : Sorry! I just really want you to know is that i’m here for you! You can just ask for an ear and it’s all good for you to just ask for a rant once in a while about anything

**BabyGod** : And i do mean 

**BabyGod** :  _ Anything _

**ChosenOne** : Can I 

**ChosenOne** : Can i rant now? 

**ChosenOne** : I mean if you’re not busy i mean! 

**BabyGod** : yes! Go ahead! 

**ChosenOne** : let me just gather my thoughts first 

**BabyGod** : take your time, i’ll be here 

**ChosenOne** : i had a whole fucking 2 posting llimits about this but i deleted them because i just fucking lost steam

**ChosenOne** : but it started - or i think it started - after i won my first Island challenge, he just got this… constipated look in his eyes even tho he brightened up after Kahuna Hala talked to him about hosting my celebration party. And he also made the comment how he had to get a lot of food since i have a large appetite, and i totally get that because i watched Brock buy in bulk a lot of the time because i was a fucking foodie menice back then and i still kind of am but it’s actually slowed down a lot since the begining of my journies 

**ChosenOne** : and it continued and i also remember how he looked at me like i was a new species or something when i first battle Tapu Koko and made that big dent in the ground with an electrical attack, and since electric attacks  _ shouldn’t _ break the ground i also can understand his reaction a little, but its been so fucking  _ long _ since everyone looked at me like i’ve told a god to fuck off and it just reminded me of how everyone that we’re friends with just go along with it like it’s always been apart of their daily life

**ChosenOne** :  _ and it’s not okay!!! It shouldn't be normalized at all!!! _

**ChosenOne** :  _ we’re fighting against bad guys that kill people and have whole ass organizations, and even fucking fighting Gods 50% of the time!!! _

**ChosenOne** : but Prof. Kukui is also so cool and one of the best Professors - sanse Prof. Oak bc he will forever be #1 on my list - i had the pleasure of meeting, and he’s so down to earth and actually helps me learn instead of those teachers back home in middle school. 

**ChosenOne** : like you know i have ADHD, the teachers back then didn’t do jack  **SHIT** about it, but i caught the Professor on my first week living with him staying up on his laptop all night searching about ways that it could help ADHD people learn better in classrooms and what to avoid. And i’m apparently the only one in his class with extreme levels of it and i don’t know who else has it but they only have, like, a low level of it. 

**ChosenOne** : and i may have fucking cried because that means a lot to me to have someone care about that part of me, besides my mom and your family, and he’s so supportive too??? Like he allows me to ramble what’s on my mind!!! He doesn’t tell me to shut up and he actually listens to the small details that no one really cares for and he remembers what i like and what i dislike, and he worries about me sometimes and 

**ChosenOne** : like he isn’t like  **hella** supportive like the Kalos friends i made, and he hella isn’t  **under** supportive like my Unova friends. He’s just an amazing adult that actually cares for me and that scares me for some reason??? 

**ChosenOne** : and even though i’ve been living with him for around 2 months and a half i just really don’t want to disappoint him more than i’ve probably already have because he’s done so much for me already? 

**ChosenOne** : so in generale i’m having mixed feelings and i generally do think of the prof as my father figure and i 100% admite it to the fucking world, but with the weird and constipated glances and fucking swallowing a mouthfull of gaddamn Shampoo at 3 AM, i just don’t know what to do 

**ChosenOne** : and Alola was supposed to be my break from everything, now Rocket is here and i had my second match with Tapu Koko and jumping off the cliff after Pikachu wasn’t a good thing at all. 

**ChosenOne** : i just really don’t want to put myself in a bad light for the Professor than i’ve already have and i’m scared that everything already going downhill 

**ChosenOne** : i know that it probably isn’t that big of a thing but to me i never had a father figure in my life and Prof. Oak really doesn’t count because he’s more of a grandpa and everything and i just 

**ChosenOne** :  _ I just don’t know what to do because i’m too scared to talk to him over text or in real life and even over a phone call  _

**BabyGod** ; Oh Ash 

**ChosenOne** : pathetic i know 

**babyGod** : Not at all!! With what you’ve been through so far this situation in general is very different than what you’ve been through before 

**BabyGod** : after so many years you’re just used to traveling around regions and being with people around your age and sometimes really young, even though you’ve only been with Bonnie and Max for the most part, and now you’re positioned in one spot on one Island out of 4 and seeing the same skyline everyday. 

**BabyGod** ; you’re bound to mess up more than normal and traveling is kinda one of your stims, you flooded the OG chat when you were hella excited to see Akala because you just got to travel when you’ve been sitting in one spot for so long so no one can honestly blame you there. 

**BabyGod** : and with that being said, you’re not stimming enough and that’s probably a major reason why you’re making a “ fool “ of yourself more is because you have to much energy that you’re not used to dealing with anymore since we were fucking kids in middleschool, and you are right those teachers back then didn’t care and labeled you as a fucking “  **problem** “ child when it was clear that you just needed another way of learning than the rest of the kids. 

**BabyGod** : and I don’t know much about what kind of ‘ look’s ‘ professor kukui gives you behind your back, but he has also found ways to help you, and you - 

**BabyGod** ;  **_and I can’t stress this enough_ **

**BabyGod** : - should really sit down with him and have a face to face, one on one, conversation about how you’re feeling and try and clear up anything that’s bothering you and what’s going on in your head Ash, because no one can just read your mind and it’s healthy to have a very important and civilized conversation and tell people what’s bothering you. 

**BabyGod** : Arceus, it took me forever to talk to Gramps about why it felt like he loved you more over me as his actual grandkid and he actually didn’t know that he was doing that and we’re slowly building our bridges back up again with each other because we had an emotional healthy conversation. 

**BabyGod** : But again it took us  **_years_ ** to get where we are in our relationship, and that’s just us being us 

**BabyGod** : and i bet that if you tell everyone that chirped you -  _ and i am also hella sorry about the chirping i did _ \- in a separate chat that you weren't in a mentally okay mind set, but how you phrase that is up to you, or if you actually want to do that in general I have no control over. 

**BabyGod** : but a healthy relationship of any kind should have a healthy communication between both parties. 

**ChosenOne** : okay

**BabyGod** ; Okay? 

**ChosenOne** : okay, i need to have a serious talk with Professor Kukui when he gets back from Unova about what i’m feeling and about everything else 

**BabyGod** : Good! I’m proud of you 

**BabyGod** : on another note, i am absolutely  **_cringing_ ** at both of our old names from when we both got this stupid chat 

**ChosenOne** : i snorted over my tears when i saw your name tbh 

**BabyGod** : Good, i’m happy that i can still make you laugh at the simplest of things 

**ChosenOne** : but for the rest of this early morning i think i’m just going to unmute Prof. Kukui and text him privately about wanting to have a conversation with him

**BabyGod** : perfectly reasonable! 

Group chat:  **Godly Supervision PLS**

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Godly Supervision PLS**

Ser  **AshesToAshes** has Unmuted User  **RingOfFire** in the chat  **Godly Supervision PLS**

**AshesToAshes** : I just want to publicly announce that i am sorry that i muted you from the chat Professor Kukui, it was spontaneous and was not in anyway okay 

**RingOfFire** : Thank you for your apologie Ash, and i can see where my comment could have been severely taken in the wrong direction, so i apologies right back for that 

**AshesToAshes** : thank you Professor

  
  


**Prof.Kukui** has added  **ChosenOne**

**Prof.Kukui** has named this chat:  **confession time**

User  **ChosenOne** has entered the chat  **Confession time**

**Prof.Kukui:** so you see me as a Father figure? 

**ChosenOne** : in all due respect Professor i would really appreciate it more if we sat down and had this talk with no Rotom with us, no Pokemon with us, and not over texting

**ChosenOne** : just have an honest conversation in private between both of us where we can be open with everything 

**Prof.Kukui** : i respect your requests and i totally agree, the night i get back from Unova we will have that conversation, deal? 

**ChosenOne** : deal, but a warning before hand, i might cry during the conversation 

**Prof.Kukui** : i will never hold that against you Ash, emotions are emotions and sometimes it’s hard to control them 

**ChosenOne** : you telling me that Professor Kukui, really means a lot to me. thank you 

**Prof.Kukui** : you’re always welcome Ash


	7. H U H

Group chat:  **Alola Fuckers**

**PositiveAttention** : I have gained an actual father figure in my life for once!!! 

**FireHuh** : uh, What? 

**PositiveAttention** : FocK WroNG ChAT

**MaskRoyalHot** : FocK

**GayGrass** : FocK

**TogedeHugMe** : FocK

**FireHuh** : FocK

**PositiveAttention** :  _ I don’t like this song, Alexa _

**Bnowy** : !!!!! 

**PositiveAttention** : wat??? 

  
  


Group Chat:  **Godly Supervision PLS**

**DTF** : and that was the time i saw my dad wrestle a Feraligator at the age of 6 with Professor Birch 

**Drgon** : Holy SHIt my dude 

User  **TooPure** has entered the chat **Godly Supervision PLS**

**TooPure** : Ash i need mod powers for a quick second 

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Godly Supervision PLS**

**AshesToAshes** :  _ whu _

**AshesToAshes** : alright

User  **AshesToAshes** has given temporary Mod control to  **TooPure** that will end in  **24 hours**

User  **TooPure** had changed the group chat name  **Godly Supervision PLS** to  **Call Out**

**AshesToAshes** : oh no 

**Gay** : sdhfweje she’s on a war path and i think Ash is her victim 

**TooPure** :  _ you completely right  _

**AshesToAshes** : what did i do??? 

**TooPure** : you weren’t at the Pokemon School for 2 days in a row Ash!!! 

**TooPure** : we have a project together that’s our final grade!!

**AshesToAshes** : i’m McSorry, the shampoo that i ate kinda disagreed with my stomach and made me sick 

**RingOfFire** : i thought you told them? 

**AshesToAshes** : honestly the reason why I haven't been on the chat for the most is because i keep falling asleep 

**RingOfFire** : Ah, but officially Ash is on bed rest for two more days because the shampoo he had eaten had a really negative affect on his system and now he’s ‘ grounded ‘ until he gets better 

**tooPure** : Oh i didn’t know! 

**TooPure** : I’m sorry Ash!!! 

**AshesToAshes** : nah it’s not your fault, i should have especially told you i would be out of school for a little bit 

**TooPure** : i can’t just let this go, i’m bringing over some Macarons and the rest of the project that we need to do 

**AshesToAshes** : door’s open for you! 

**AshesToAshes** : now that the mushy stuff is over it’s back to our regular meme shittery again 

User  **AshesToAshes** has changed the group chat name **Call Out** to  **Lance is a Twink**

**AshesToAshes** : i know you’re in Alola 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_W H E R E_ **

**DraonMaster** : fdfhkjfkf cureently at kahuna Hala’s residence with Cynthia 

**AshesToAshes** : MOTHER #2 HOW COULD YOU??? 

**GarchomMAX** : child #1 because i knew that you were going to yeet™ lance into the nearest source of water

**GarchompMAX** : and we’re talking about something that deals with you 

**AshesToAshes** : ??? Pray tell ???

**GarchomMAX** : you’ll know soon enough kid 

**AshesToAshes** : unfair 

**GarchompMAX** : i’m the mean mom for a reason kid 

**Drgon** : i like how you labeled Ash as your first kid

**GarchomMAX** : say’s child #8-10

**Drgon** : wat?

**GarchimMAX** : every teen to child that Ash brings into this stupid chat is my kid, and i just know that Ash and Gary are child number #1 & #2 but then on i guess 

**GreenDay** : I’m really touched, yet also  **Rude™**

**AshesToAshes** : fhjfb MOM 

**DragonMaster** : It’s official 

**GarchomMAX** : thank the Gods

**Gay** : what’s official??

  
  


Group Chat:  **Regional chat Profs+Champs+Kahu**

User  **Champ.Lance** has added User  **ChosenOne** to the chat  **Regional Chat Profs+Champs+Kahu**

**ChosenOne** : what

**Champ.Lance** : from this day forward until Arcues decides to finally Yeet™ your soul into heaven or hell, Satoshi Ash Ketchum, you are hereby acknowledged by every Champion League, Regional Professor, and Kahuna as the Chosen One of Earth 

**ChosenOne** : you’re all just Deciding about this now? No offense but I thought this would come around my trip to Hoenn and not around my trip to Alola 

**K.Hala** : Ash if I may ask, how many trips have you taken? 

**ChosenOne** : hhhhhuh give me a moment please 

**ChosenOne** : technically this would be my sevens Journey, but I personally count the Battle Frontier and winning the Champion ship from the Orange Archipelago 

**ChosenOne** : officially this is my seventh, but personally it’s my ninth 

**P.Sycamore** : and for your earlier question, it was I that pushed for recognition because of Kalos 

**ChosenOne** :  _ hmmmmm _

**P.Sycamore** : yes, I understand that your still reeling from it 

**ChosenOne** : oh no actually! Was just happy that I could stop standing more than anything 

**P.Sycamore** : you were covered in blood???? And almost passed out????

**P.Sycamore** : the trauma???? 

**ChosenOne** : kinda got used to it after I fought some bad people to save Celebi with the aid of Suicune in Johto 

**P.Elm:** excuse me? 

**ChosenOne** : I really didn't start to care about how damaged I got was when I fought Arceus and then tried to save him because a group of people could think they could control him

**Champ.Lance** : sadly all he says checks out because I’ve talked to almost all his traveling partners, Brock - an old Gym leader of ours - was with his for four years so he had plenty to tell and he doesn’t lie very well

**ChosenOne** : kinda miffed that you would suggest Brock would lie about this 

**Champ.Lance** : just a precaution Ash 

**ChosenOne** : I know 

**P.Birch** : so how many Legendaries have you met? 

**ChosenOne** : Talked about this at the beginning of a different chat, but Gary pointed out that I met around 26? 

User  **P.IT.Gary** has joined the chat  **Regional Chat Profs+Champs+Kahu**

**P.IT.Gary** : 40 plus Tapu Koko, Tapu Lele, Tapu Bulu, some Ultra-something pokemon, and Solgleo 

**P.IT.Gary** : so all of the Legendaries in Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, Unova and Kalos and starting to meet them all in Alola plus a few 

**ChosenOne** : thanks Gary, so yeah 

**P.Kukui** : I didn’t see that, Ash are you mentally okay? 

**ChosenOne** : physically I’m here in Alola and safe, but mentally I’m severely done with everything and I’m about to fight Arceus with my bare fists if he doesn’t let me have a week free of some Legendary  **Fuckery** ™ 

**ChosenOne** : sans Solgleo and Victini the only two I’ll allow to be near me this week 

**ChosenOne** : and another thing 

User  **ChosenOne** has changed their name to  **C.Ash**

**C.Ash:** looks like there’s a system here and I don’t want to be the odd one out since I’m probably stuck in this chat 

**P.Ivy** : wait fuck 

**P.Kukui:** ??? 

**P.Kukui** : What

**P.Ivy:** FUCK I DID A BAD 

**P.Sycamore** : oh no, what’s the bad 

**P.Ivy** : ash, since you  _ did _ win the Orange Championship title. You  **_are_ ** considered a secondary champion 

**C.Ash** : what 

**Champ.Lance** : oh fuck, forgot about that 

**C.Ash** :  _ what _

**P.Ivy** : as a secondary Champion, if say, Lance becomes severely injured or sick to act as Johto and Kanto’s champion  _ you  _ would take his place until he gets better 

**C.Ash** :  **_W h a t_ **

**P.IT.Gary** : wait so, Ash would and still is my superior? 

**P.Ivy** : as the Orange Islands are connected to Kanto, then yes Ash is your Superior 

**P.IT.Gary** : hhhhhhhhhhh 

**C.Ash** :  **_H U H_ **

**P.Oak** : Professor Ivy! That is extremely disrespectful and highly idiotic of you!!!! 

**P.Ivy:** i know! I’m sorry Professor Oak

**C.Ash** : I would love to stay and chat with you all, but one of my GC are arguing over if I’m a twink or a buff boi 

**C.Ash** : so I gtg 

**P.Elm** : now you have to be lying 

**P.Sycamore** : I wish 

**P.Kukui:** I wish 

**P.Oak** : I wish 

**Champ.Lance** : and I’m helping, you’re a twink Ash 

**C.Ash** : kahsianshwhehegw, Lillie’s giving you a run for your money Lance, and idk  _ How _ she got so many pictures 

User  **C.Ash** has left the chat Regional chat Profs+Champs+Kahu

  
  


Group Chat:  **Ash is not a buff boi**

**DragonMaster** : Ash is not a fucking Buff Boi, HE IS A TWINK 

User  **TooPure** has sent Files  **ThinkNot** to the GC 

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Ash is not a buff boi**

**FoodForThought** : Lillie, how did you get those photos???? 

**TooPure** :  **_Reasons™_ **

**AshesToAshes** : I don’t mind 

**TooPure** :  **_G o o d_ **

**AshesToAshes** : seems like my godly teaching is finally sinking into you 

**Con.King** : what 

**AshesToAshes** : every region I go to I try and teach someone to become a god like me 

**DTF** : cool

**DTF** : BUT BACK TO THE TOPIC 

User  **DTF** has sent Video  **HeChuck** to the GC 

**AshesToAshes** : andndnanebd I remember that 

**DTF** : I hope the fuck you do 

**DTF** : Tarzan 

**AshesToAshes** : snsndjakwbd 

User  **Gay** has entered the chat  **Ash is not a buff boi**

User  **gay** has sent Files  **SoftBoi™** to the GC 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ YOU PROMISED NOT TO USE THOSE  _

**Gay** : and you promised not bitch about me not coming to Alola **:)**

**AshesToAshes** :  _ hhhhh  _ **_Fair_ **

**Gay** : and I still have more if y’all ask 

**Gay** : especially when we were kids 

**SketchMe** : that doesn’t fucking count 

**Gay** : why not?!?!

**SketchMe** :  _ you guys were  _ **_K I D S_ **

**SketchMe** : practically  **_B a b I e s_ **

**Gay** : fair 

**SketchMe** : I’m throwing my own two cents into this cursed™ topic

User  **SketchMe** has sent Files  **Scales** to the GC 

User  **SketchMe** has sent Video  **ScalesPt.2** to the GC 

**Gay** : @ **AshesToAshes** is that how you actually fucking got through to Charzard!?!? 

**AshesToAshes** : hehehe, Yeah…. 

**SketchMe** : he went on for most of the fucking night and then Charzard fucking won the match that it lost the day before 

**AshesToAshes** : he still likes to flame my ass every time he sees me, but I love him and he’s  **_M I n e_ **

**AshesToAshes** : and I forgot the fucker who left him in the pouring rain but he tried contacting me last year during Kalos 

**RockDad** : WHAT 

**WaterMom** : EXCUSE ME????? 

**ElectricNerd** : is that the time you had a 2 hour long argument with someone over the PokeChat? 

**AshesToAshes** : Ye, the fucker saw Charzard during the Kanto League over TV and aparently he didn’t get all his badges on time and could sign up 

**AshesToAshes** : so he got super jealous and demanding that I send Charzard back to him because it was  _ His _ originally starter 

**WhyAmIAlive** : snjwbejskw, is this the anger that you had when I left Chimchar? 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_Y E S_ **

**AshesToAshess** : but you didn’t leave him to  _ die _ like that fucker did, so you were a little bit higher on my “ like “ list than him. 

**WhyAmIAlive** : oH, that’s such a low bar 

**AshesToAshes** : you kinda crossed it multiple times but I here you’ve gotten better at communicating with your Pokémon!!! 

**WhyAmIAlive** : yeah I have, Damn had to actually smack me across the face before yelling for a good hour at me 

**Con.Queen** : and I don’t fucking regret it :) 

**WhyAmIAlive** : wkdbjwjwnebd Alright 

**GreenDay** : But can we all agree Twist is the  **Worst™**

**Drgon** : benejwjw Oh defenitly

**StopMePls** : oh, yes!!! He’s so mean :( 

**Drgon** : BIANCA!!!!! 

**GreenDay** : !!!!!!! How long were you ghosting this chat 

**StopMePls** : oh! From the start, this is my daily enjoyment 

**AshesToAshes** : andhajsjdb FAIR 

**GreenDay** : oh my Arceus Bianca 

**StopMePls** : just came off ghosting to call out one bitch named Twist 

**Drgon** : big mood 

**StopMePls** : I’m going to go back to ghosting so bye! 

**AshesToAshes** : see ya! 

**DTF** : BACK ON TOPIC 

**TooPure** : I’m not finished!!!! 

**AshesToAshes** : JFC you two 

**ElectricSN** : … 

User  **ElectricSN** has sent Video  **HeLift™** to the GC 

**TooPure** : !!!!!! See !!!!! 

**DeagonMaster** : that don’t mean shit if he’s still a twink 

**AshesToAshes** : I’m not a twink 

**DragonMaster** : fine, chunky boi 

**AshesToAshes** : you’ll be surprised, my “ chunky “ stomach is muscle 

**DragonMaster** : damn it!!!

**AshesToAshes** : in all fairness, I’m a Soft Boi™ and a Stronk Boi™ wrapped up all In one 

**TooPure** : and you need to sign your name on the poster Ash 

**AshesToAshes** : oh okay 

**DTF** : oh! How’s your stomach Ash? 

**AshesToAshes** : good, both Lillie and Torracat are great heaters 

**WelaFire** : wait

**SupremeEdge** : WHAT 

**FoodForThought** : Ash? 

**AshesToAshes** : ye? 

**FoodForThought** : are you and Lillie… 

**FoodForThought** : Cuddling??? 

**AshesToAshes** : lmao yeah 

User  **AshesToAshes** has sent File  **Stritch™** to the GC 

**AshesToAshes** : she’s a good condtender against @ **WhiteEmpress** for best head Stritches 

**WhiteEmpress** : Impossible

**TooPure** : Ash is melting like a Kanto Muk and Grimer in Alola’s hottest heat 

User  **TooPure** has sent Video  **He’sPurring** to the GC 

**WhiteEmpress** : just like his mom 

**GarchompMAX** : lmao yeah, hit a certain spot and they won’t let you leave until they fall asleep 

**GarchompMAX** : so good luck @ **TooPure** he’s not going to let you go for a while 

**TooPure** : I don’t mind at all actually he’s really comfy to cuddle with 

**SupremeEdge** : I don’t know how to feel about that sis :( 

**TooPure** : well it doesn’t matter to you since you’re never around **:)**

**FoodForThought** : mwnenskamendhd 1 fear 

**WelaFire** : oh my Tapu 1 fear 

**RushingRiver** : definitely 1 fear 

**ElectricSN** : she is so going to be the next God™ 1 fear 

**RingOfFire** : please don’t be mean to your brother Lillie 

**TooPure** : only because you say so Professor 

**TooPure** : another question, can I stay the night? Since I don’t think I’ll be leaving anytime soon

**RingOfFire** : of course! And knowing Ash you might want to revise what he typed up for the Project 

**TooPure** : will do during dinner, both my arms are full right now 

**RongOfFire** : Fair 

User  **TooPure** has Logged out of the Chat  **Ash is not a buff boi**


	8. some friends take to much energy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AshesToAshes: Ash  
> RockDad: Brock   
> WaterMom: Misty  
> DTF: May  
> Con.King: Drew  
> Con.Queen: Dawn  
> FlameLesbian: Zoey  
> Drgon: Iris  
> GreenDay: Cilan  
> ElectricNerd: Clemont  
> KalosQueen: Serena  
> TrueTrueKalosQ: Miette  
> MEgaDragon: Alain  
> RushingRiver; Lana  
> TooPure: Lillie  
> WelaFire: Kiawe  
> FoodForThought: Mallow  
> GarchomMAX: Cynthia  
> DragonMaster: Lance  
> BidFool: Alder  
> SStone: Steven  
> Prof.Kukui: Kukui  
> Prof.Burnet: Burnet  
> AetherParadise: Lusamine

**Prof.Kukui** has added  **AetherPresident** and  **Prof.Burnet**

User  **Prof.Kukui** has named the chat  **Babies**

**AetherPresident** : ??? Kukui it’s 8 at night 

**Prof.Burnet** : and I have Paperwork?? 

User  **Prof.Kukui** has sent file  **Sleep** to the GC

**AetherPresident** :  _ oh  _

**Prof.Burnet** : wndhdjkwdn don’t listen to me, _ their so cute!!!  _

**AetherPresident** : I didn’t know Ash was dating Lillie!!! When did that start??? 

**Prof.Kukui** : I’m pretty sure their not dating, and if they are It’s open because Ash acts like he’s dating everyone 

**Prof.Burnet** : uh, deets???? 

**Prof.Kuku** i has sent Files  **Ash?Dating??** To the GC 

**Prof.Kukui** : he calls Gladion “ Glad “ when the taller starts acting more Emo than normal and it actually calms him down

**Prof.Kukui** : he calls Lana “ Babe “ when she’s stressed, and that’s rarely, and she just kind of melts when she here’s him call her that 

**Prof.Kukui** : Sophocles was shopping with us one time because he was staying the night at my house, and we met someone named Horacio and Ash just casually threw his arms over Sophs shoulders and stood behind him with this utter bored expression when the teen saw them and started to make a fuss about them for some reason 

**Pro.Kukui** : if Ash isn’t in Kiawes eyesight for less than an hour he just loses his fiery personality and gets all dark and heavy moody when he did before Ash came to Alola 

**Prof.Kukui** : and Ash already helped Lillie a lot??? Like he’s helped her on her Pokémon touching Problem and he genuinely cares a lot for her and all of them in general 

**Pro.Kukui** : I always knew there was a puzzle piece missing in their group after a little bit of teaching them, and I’m happy it was Ash because I also gained a son out of it?? 

**Prof.Burnet** : wmdnsjakwb your  **_Son_ **

**Prof.Kukui** :  **_Damn R I G H T_ **

**AetherPresident** : Ash is an amazing kid, and I’m happy 

**prof.Burnet** : in all my years in knowing you, i have never 

**Prof.Burnet** :  **_Never_ **

**Prof.Burnet:** seen you this parental to any of your borders 

**Pro.Kukui:** idk, it’s just something about Ash that gets my protective streak goin’ 

**Prof.Kukui** : but I also have more pictures 

**AetherPresident** : !!!!! 

**Prof.Burnet** : now I have to see this 

  
  


Group Chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**DragonMaster** : have I made it clear that I hate this GC name still 

**GarchompMAX** : we know 

**BidFool** : why are we back on this name again? 

User  **GarchompMAX** has sent Video  **GetHimGarch** to the GC

**DTF** : mansjskqw 

**Con.Queen** : GET HIM GARCH 

**FlameLesbian** :  **HOLY** **_F U C K_ **

**Drgon** : good, end him Garch 

**Con.King** : are we just going to swerve Alders question there? 

**GarchompMAX** : yes 

**AshesToAshes** : Y ahah banana 

**Drgon** : is Ash okay? 

User  **GarchompMAX** has sent Video  **Purr** to the GC 

**GarchompMAX** : autocorrect and he’s kinda spacey right now 

**DragonMaster** : WNSJSKEBD nwhshsjsbsb

**WaterMom** : you okay there Lance? 

**DragonMaster** : qmensjs yES 

**DragonMaster** : just trying to wrestle myself from under Cynthia’s utter Beast™ of a PokeChild 

User  **DragonMaster** has sent File  **Cumfy** to the GC 

**DragonMaster** : Ash has tangled himself with Cynthia for over an hour now 

**GarchompMAX** : get your soaking wet body away from him Lance 

**DragonMaster** : try me you  _ Lesbian _

**GarchompMAX** : at least my slutty swimming short shorts don’t attract  **_Bears™_ **

**DragonMaster** : excuse me, I don’t get laid regularly unlike you  **_C y n t h i a_ **

**SStone** : there are kids on this chat!!!!! 

**RockDad** : kinda false, the youngest one here in regards to become a “ legal “ adult is Iris and her birthday is in a few days so it’s kinda pointless rn 

**SStone** : okay fair, I still have that picture from when me and Alder were at the castle 

**DragonMaster** : I need to kill you for that still 

**GreenDay** : On the topic of Alola! 

**Drgon** : skdnajsndb get swerved 

**RockDad** : we gettin’ into all the topics today 

**GreenDay** : I’m actually heading over to Alola in a weeks time!!!! 

**AshesToAshes** : wmdnsjkwkwsn  **_Y E S_ **

**GarchompMAX** : YOU WOKE HIM UP 

**AshesToAshes** : I AM GOING TO TACKLE HUG YOU AND PANSAGE WHEN YOU GET HERE 

**GarchompMAX** : wtf you didn’t do that when we got here 

**AshesToAshes** : if I remember correctly, Y’all didn’t tell me you were  **_HERE_ **

**DragonMaster** : WNSHSIQMWNSGS CYNTBIS GET YOR FUKING CIOD 

User  **GarchompMAX** has sent Video  **Perish™** to the GC 

**AshesToAshes** : !!!! I SEE KIAWE @ **WelaFire** get your entire muscles down here 

User  **WelaFire** has entered the chat  **Champion Maxhine Broke™**

**WelaFire** : I’m doing Farm Runs, and after I still have to many chores to do

**WelaFire** : so I can’t hang out for today, and probably tomorrow also 

**AshesToAshes** : oh

**AshesToAshes** : _ ;-; _

**WelaFire** :  **_D O N ‘ T_ **

**AshesToAshes** : give Charzard a hug for me please? 

**WelaFire** : hhhhhh  _ okay _

**AshesToAshes** : Thank you!!!!! 

**RushingRiver** : @ **WelaFire** _W e a k_

**WelaFire** : leave me alone Lana! 

**AshesToAshes** : what??? 

**FoodForThought** : don’t worry about it 

**AshesToAshes** : alright????? 

**AshesToAshes** : amxjajsnd 

**AshesToAshes** : I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE 

**AshesToAshes** : _ A BLONDE EMO  _

User  **AshesToAshes** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**GarchompMAX** : and there he goes

User  **Garchommax** has sent File  **Nyoom** to the GC 

**TooPure** : Rip my brother 

User  **GarchompMAX** has sent Video  **Collide** the the GC 

**TooPure** :  **_RIP my brother_ **

**RockDad** : wmdnsjaj keep forgetting that Ash is pure muscle at this point and can take anyone down 

**MegaDragon** : _ can confirm™ _

**MegaDragon** : i still feel like i have bruised ribs when he hadn’t seen me in a while and lunge tackled me to the ground in the Professor’s glass room where the Pokemon he studies stay 

**RockDad** : i am at least 6 years older than him but after he came back from Orange islands he could fucking dead lift me easily without thought

**GreenDay** : he used me as weight during Unova when Iris dared him to carry me and my backpack along with his stuff all the way to the next town we were going to 

**GreenDay** : i’m light as a farfetch feather but my backpack isn’t 

User  **AshesToashes** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine broke™**

**AshesToAshes** : i will literally carry you and Pansage all around Alola to all 4 ( four ) islands if you even fucking hint at it Cilan 

User  **AshesToAshes** has left the chat **Champion Machine Broke™**

**GreenDay** : gehw **;-;** _Your brothers would_ ** _never_**

**Drgon** : its because your brothers are wimps and like to pick on you

**Drgon** : both me and Ash would meet both of them behind fucking denny’s at 3 in the mornibg on a monday

**Drgon** : theres the reason why Ash challenged all three of you to get his badge 

**GreenDay** :  _ i feel loved in the denny’s tonight everyone _

**KalosQueen** : is ash really this touchy with everyone? 

**DTF** : lmao i don’t know about  _ everyone _ but he does ask for boundaries when you get to know him to a certain point, or if you give hints on what you like versus what you don’t 

**DTF** : i hugged him after my first contest that i won and he didn’t hesitate to hug back, then he greeted me with a hug that lasted for a couple of minutes after i lost during the finale contest match 

**DTF** :  _ unlike Brock _

**RockDad** :  **M’SORRY**

**RockDad** : failed at my job at being the dad friend for a while there

**KalosQueen** : oh 

**Drgon** : Ash never really liked being touchy with me and i think it’s my fault for most of the point because i never really clarified if it was okay or not, but he did lug Cilan around by his skinny waist most of the time and if you can’t find him training he’s either swimming or by the tall shrimps side 

**GreenDay** : _True_ but also, **_WUDE_**

**KalosQueen** : he was never **_this_ ** touchy with us during his Kalos Journey

**ElectricNerd** : say for yourself Serena, you didn’t have to sleep in the same tent as him 

**RockDad** ; Starmie Spread? 

**ElectricNerd** : more like Komala Cling 

**RockDad** :  **_oof_ **

**ElectricNerd** : and also Serena. Ash was _ just _ as clingy with Bonnie as he was with me

**ElectricNerd** : She sometimes even referred him to her  _ adopted big brother _ and has vocalized about how good Ash’s hugs are multiple times when everyone was around 

**ElectricNerd** : you have seen Mairin, Alain, Miette, Shauna, Trevor, Sawyer, Professor Sycamore, Malva, all of the Gym leaders we have met, Nini, and Tierno have some sort of fully body contact with Ash, especially after the Kalos Crisis, he even hugged you but you didn’t copy him

**ElectricNerd** : in all honesty you always gave off the vibe that you didn’t like people touching you, the only one that could get close was Bonnie - and even  _ then _ you didn’t let her touch you for some space of time. Ash had tried to bring the topic up with you, me, and Bonnie, just him and me,  _ and _ with just you privately 

**ElectricNerd** : you type this stuff and act jealous when other girls have his attention, but when ever he tries to give you a sliver of any kind of affection you ignore him and shy away like you don’t want it 

**ElectricNerd** ; it was plain to see you had a crush on him, everyone could see it and it made shit fucking awkward at  _ least _ 20% of the time. Idk if Ash knew about it or not but he genuinely tried to be on the same level of friendship that he was with everyone 

**ElectricNerd** : he talked about you for fucking  _ hours _ in our tent Bc he didn’t know what he did to get you so distint from him in the first place, he understands that you two were friends when you were super young but you also have to take in what kind of person Ash is and how many people he meets to a day to day basis, you can’t just go up to him and expect him to remember you compleatly from childhood 

**KalosQueen** : he remembered Gary!!! 

**ElectricNerd** : because Gary was by his side for his  **_E N T I R E_ ** childhood, he’s seen Gary around Professor Oak and his mom. He and Gary have been friends since Ash was born since their only 6 months apart from each other and they were - **_Probably_ ** \- the only kids around each other’s age to play with

**ElectricNerd** : you don’t get to push your blame onto other People

**ElectricNerd** : Hell, everyone knew that Miette doesn’t like Ash romantically 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : Clemont is right, i only did it to tease you and have some good friendly fun with Ash, he even came up to me after a contest when we first met and i started to tease him, He wanted to state that it was for teasing and that I didn’t have a crush on him 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : which he was right, also take into account that i’ve never met a boy so lade back to fake flirting that i may have gone overboard with it but Ash let me know his limits

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : you may have had a crush on him but you also don’t get to keep him for yourself, Ash is fully aware of your crush by the way you acted around him and he didn’t know how to approach you at all since you also shied away from him. 

**ElectricNerd** : you don’t get to drive him where you want him to go, he can’t read your mind. And he probably didn’t say anything is because he didn’t want to step into the gigantic mess that you’ve created around you 

**KalosQueen** : but i did state that i like him and that i want to begin a relationship with him!!! 

**ElectricNerd** : you mean the time that when we were seeing you off to Hoenn? You kissed him without warning 

**ElectricNerd** :  _ something Ash had told everyone that’s friends with him that he didn’t like doing that stuff without warning and boundaries and what you exactly did  _ **_without W A R N I N G and against his B O U N D A R I E S_ **

**ElectricNerd** : or that time when he called you when he was over in Kalos in a layover flight going over to Alola with his Mom, and you were there getting off of the plane from Hoenn 

**ElectricNerd** : and he said he tried to talk to you but you spoke over him and only talked about getting together in a relationship with him and how Great Hoenn was and how you two should go there together to travel alone even after he told us he’s already traveled hoenn

**ElectricNerd** : or the time a couple weeks ago when he face timed both of us and Alain to explain how Alola is great and how we should take some time off and come visit and that he would even pay for our tickets for the way there

**ElectricNerd** : you stated that me and Alain didn’t need to come to Alola and that it should just be you so that you two could have your first vacation as a “  _ Couple _ “ even though not even both of you stated that the two of you were an Item. that hurt really bad because to me it felt like ou friendship didn’t matter and that you just wanted to hoard Ash all to yourself 

**ElectricNerd** :  _ Even _ after that he stated the trip would include meeting his friends and Pokemon from Alola and having fun adventures with everyone all week we would be staying there with at least 3.5 day’s being relaxing day’s to just hang out and not do anything crazy 

**ElectricNerd** : it was supposed to be some old friends getting to know new friends from a mutual friend and have a fun relaxing time, but no you made the phone call awkward and that made Ash apologize and faked getting a text From Professor Kukui saying that he and Ash would be busy for the whole week 

**ElectricNerd** : Ash can’t lie for shit to a family member or friend, it’s common knowledge, and he also  **_hates_ ** lying to anyone but you pushed him so far as to make him lie to us and then hang up

**ElectricNerd** : i’m just sick and tired to see you try and pry yourself into everything Ash has in his life, and somethings are meant to be known only by him, as his friend you don’t automatically get rights to know about it 

**KalosQueen** : you don’t either! 

**ElectricNerd** :  **_NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!!_ **

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat **Champion Machine Broke™**

Mod  **AshesToAshes** has banned  **KalosQueen** from the chat **Champion Machine Broke™** until the  **foreseen future**

Mod  **AshesToAshes** has banned  **ElectricNerd** from the chat **Champion Machine Broke™** for **3 days**

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : 

**AshesToAshes** : 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : you didn’t ban me 

**AshesToAshes** : No, I didn’t

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : why? 

**AshesToAshes** : because you only contributed and stated a fact that Clemont said was correct, and once you said your piece you were done and stopped contributing, unlike Serena who can’t get into her head that i don’t like her anything more than a nice friend 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : and Clemont? 

**AshesToAshes** : i banned clemont because he just needs to chill for a little, i’ll talk to him later after a couple of hours. And if they want to continue ruining their friendship with each other, they can do that between themselves and  _ not _ here

**ashesToAshes** : and to clear everything up, I’m Pan and i like literally almost everyone I come across, i’ve been desensitized to flirty because of Brock and Cilan speaks about love with his connoisseur-y ways 

**AshesToAshes** : and I'm also starting a rule in this chat that I should have in the beginning:  **_if two or more people begin a large argument that can seriously hurt people's feelings, they CAN and WILL be banned from the chat until one or another Mod unbanned them. Please keep big arguments from this chat if you can because it’s the respectful thing to do. Unless it’s calling someone out in a funny way or doesn’t hurt other people's feelings_ **

**DragonMaster** : I agree with this rule, but in i’m also suggesting that we close this chat for a while 

**AshesToAshes** : you can stay off the chat if you so desire, i am not forcing anyone to be on their phone and in this chat. But i’m keeping it open and i really hope that everyone just let this go and if you do have a beef with the two about this message them separately please

**RockDad** ; seems reasonable to me

**WaterMom** : yeah, i also agree because some of us don’t have numbers of other people and it’s just better to message everyone here than going through all the different chat’s that we have 

**AshesToAshes** : that chat will stay open, but if you want to continue being on here is your choice, i’m logging out now Bci’m going to go have some dinner with my family 

User  **AshesToAshes** has logged out  **Champion Machine Broke™**


	9. Booty shorts are amazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RingOfFire + P.Kukui: Kukui  
> ProfBurnet: Burnet  
> K.Hala: Hala  
> K.Olivia: Olivia  
> K.Nanu: Nanu  
> Champ.Lance + DragonMaster: Lance  
> Champ.Alder: Alder  
> Champ.Cynthia + GArchompMAX: Cynthia  
> Champ.Diantha: Diantha  
> P.Birch: Prof. Birch  
> P.Elm: Prof. Elm  
> Champ.Wallace: Wallace  
> AshesToAshes + FuckMe: Ash  
> Gay + MaybeLAter: Gary  
> WaterMom + WaterMeThis: Misty  
> RockDad + Bock: Brock  
> Sketchme: Tracey  
> FlameLesbian: Zoey  
> Drgon: Iris  
> GreenDay: Cilan  
> MegaDragon: Alain  
> RushingRiver = Land: Lana  
> WelaFire: Kiawe  
> TooPure: Lillie  
> ElectricSn: Sophocles  
> FoodForThought: Mallow  
> DarkLight = SupremeEdge: Gladion  
> Giovannie  
> Lysandre  
> Archie  
> Maxie  
> Cyrus  
> Ghetsis  
> Faba  
> GreenViridian: Green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: i also now have a Tumblr pacifically for Pokemon and it's alolanrain, all one word.

Group chat:  **Regional Chat Profs+Champs+Kahu**

**Champ.Cynthia** : BABE @ **Champ.Diantha**

**Champ.Cynthia** : BABE @ **Champ.Diantha**

**Champ.Cynthia** : Ash was so fucking cute during dinner!!! He dragged one of his friends with us and they were practically flirting!!!! 

**Champ.Cynthia** : I think it was one of Lusamine’s son? But idk they were just so adorable, Ash started rambling on and on about his training and the boy just stare at Ash like he hung the moon and the stars!!! 

**Champ.Cynthia** : and at the end of the night both boys were blushing so hard when 

**Champ.Diantha** : my beloved, we’re not on the family chat 

**P.Kukui** : 

**Champ.Lance** : 

**P.Birch** : 

**P.Elm** : 

**Champ.Wallace:**

**K.Hala** : 

**K.Nanu** :

**Champ.Alder** : 

**K.Olivia** : 

**Champ.Cynthia** :  **_I will cut you all_ **

  
  


Group chat:  **OG chat**

**FuckMe** : I can’t believe my own 2nd mother 

**WaterMeThis** : wth did she do 

**FuckMe** : so I was flirting, because Arceus wants to fuck me over and gave me  _ multiple  _ crushes 

**Bock** : your whole class? 

**FuckMe** :  _ my whole class plus Lillie’s brother, so I don’t know how to deal with me like both of the Aether Presidents  _ kids 

**WaterMeThis** : Damn you fucked up mate 

**FuckMe** :  **_I R E A L I Z E D_ **

**FuckMe** : but otherwise 

**FuckMe** : she went off in the Regional Chat by accident and texted Mom #3 and went off how cute me and Glade were during dinner 

User **MaybeLater** has entered the chat **OG** **Chat**

**MaybeLater** : WHOMST the fuck is Glade? 

**FuckMe** : andhajnwdbJWHWBSHSJ

**FuckMe** : I meant 

**FuckMe** :  _ G L A D I O N  _

**WaterMeThis** : oh my god, I’m telling!!!

**FuckMe** : MISTY  **_NO_ **

**WaterMeThis** : MISTY  **_Y E S_ **

  
  


Group Chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

User  **WaterMom** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**WaterMom** : ay yo Gladion @ **SupremeEdge**

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**AshesToAshes** : MISTY 

**AshesToAshes** : MISTY  _ PLEASE _

**SupremeEdge** : what @ **WaterMom**

**WaterMom** : Ash called you Glade 

**SupremeEdge** :  **_w h a t_ **

**TooPure** : wndhsjsjs  _ ASH _

**AshesToAshes** : wmsjskqmw yes I love all my friends 

**AshesToAshes** : Glade, Mall, Land, ill, Soft, and Kiwi 

**FoodForThought** : I DON’T NEED THIS 

**FoodForThought** : THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I TAKE MY BREAK FROM WORK 

User  **RushingRiver** has changed their name to  **Land**

**Land** : this is my new identity 

**AshesToAshes** : wndjsjamwbsns  **L A N A**

**Land:** Sophocles can’t come into the chat RN but he does agree he is a soft boi 

**AshesToAshes** : the best Soft Boi™ 

**WelaFire** : Ash, don't talk to me during school tomorrow 

**AshesToAshes** : wu 

**AshesToAshes** : why!? 

**WelaFire** : I’m not a Kiwi 

**AshesToAshes** : ;-; 

**WelaFire** : that’s not going to work on me today 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_; - ;_ **

User  **AshesToAshes** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Land** : @ **WelaFire** **_YOU F O O L_**

**FoodForThought** : wndhsjsns Kiawe  _ dear _ it’s a  _ joke _

**SupremeEdge** : you utter Fool 

User  **ElectricSN** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**ElectricSN** : there goes the rule Ash set 

**SketchMe** : honestly I’m surprised it lasted more than 4 days 

**ElectricSN** : but otherwise KIAWE 

**ElectricSN** : ITS THE SAME WHEN WE CALL YOU  **DIVE** BACK BEFORE WE MADE THE GROUP CHAT WITH ASH 

**WelaFire** :  **_o h_ **

**Land** : YEAH  **OH**

**WelaFire** : I abandoned my Boi 

**FoodForThought** : andhdjansbs go get your boi then 

**WelaFire** : I Abandoned My Boi 

**WelaFire** : @ **RingOfFire** is it possible that I can come over and maybe spend the night by chance? 

**RingOfFire** : please do, he’s mopping up in the loft and Cynthia isn’t helping 

**GarchompMAX** : _ Rude _

**RingOfFire** :  **_my Snacc Shakk™_ **

**GarchompMAX** : totally reasonable and have a good day 

**RingOfFire** : I will once my son isn’t being moody and pouting 

**GarchompMAX** :  _ HHHHHUUUUHHH _

**RingOfFire** : don’t let Olivia see that Pls 

**RingOfFire** : I won’t hear the end of it 

**GarchompMAX** : oh you have my word 

**RingOfFire** : oh thank god 

**Land** : is it possible if I also stay the night Professor? My parents are out and my two sisters are with my grandma for the night 

**RingOfFire** : of course! Just tell your parents before you come over 

**Land** :!!!!! Best Teacher Ever 

**RingOfFire** : who else wants to stay the night while we’re at it? 

**TooPure** : oh please! I love them but Mother and Hobbs are driving me, Snowy, and Claffable insane! 

**FoodForThought** : ME!!! Since my dad is at a food convention in Sinnoh and me and Steenee

**ElectricSN** : my cousin Moe is coming back with me from Ula’ula! Can we both come over to hang out? 

**RingOfFire** : at this point in time me and Lance are at the groceries getting enough food for a feast, so yeah bring him along! No doubt Hala and his grandson will probably find us during one of their “  _ mystical walks “  _ together 

**GarchompMAX** :  _ >_> _

**RingOfFire** : Cynthia, No 

User  **GarchompMAX** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**RingOfFire** :  **_Cynthia. N O_ **

User  **RingOfFire** has logged out of the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**WelaFire** : well okay then 

User  **DragonMaster** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**DragonMaster** : Kukui just hunched over his phone and is now quickly typing 

**DragonMaster** : ah,  _ Cynthia _

User  **GarchompMAX** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**GarchompMAX** : the fuck does that mean?  _ Lance  _

**DragonMaster** : nothing, nothing 

**GarchompMAX** : I don’t trust you 

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**AshesToAshes** : I literally just came on here to call out @ **FlameLesbian** for being a Boss Ass Bitch of a friend 

User  **AshesToAshes** has sent File  **FuckMe?** To the GC 

**FlameLesbian** : LMAO YOU GOT THE FIRST BOX 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ F I R S T BOX????  _

**FlameLesbian** : OMA YES!!!! I’ve been gathering some things here and there for over 3 something years 

**FlameLesbian** : the more I got to know you over your Sinnoh Journey with Dawn and Brock the more Ratchet the items got 

**GarchompMAX** : im looking through the box as Ash it utterly freaking out over the Pikachu and Buizel Kigurumi 

**FlameLesbian** : oh my god he went on and  _ on  _ at how many cute Kigurumi there were in Sinnoh, but most if not all that we saw together was for girls, we wanted to get a matching one of Buizel and Glameow so now we do! 

**GarchompMAX** : there’s also Vanilla bath salts and 

User  **GarchompMAX** has sent File  **What!?** To the GC 

**GarchompMAX** :  _ ARE THESE COTTON  _ **_BOOTY SHORTS_ **

**FlameLesbian** : lmao yeah, Ash wanted a pair during Unova but moaned to me how he was traveling with Iris and Cilan. And when he went on line later during his travels the company was absorbed into a different one and they now sell the Shittiest™ booty shorts.

**Drgon** : TF does that mean?!?!? 

**FlameLesbian** : you apparently called him kid a lot and Cilan apparently had a giant vibe on being a gentleman and having to do with something called decency??? 

**Drgon** : oh, yeah. Forgot about that part about calling him a kid 

**GreenDay** :  **_sflgkdkoi_ ** I was pretty short with him when I saw those at a nearby mall we were in, they weren’t something  _ I _ would buy but I would have definitely looked at Ash hella weirdly if he bought them at the time. 

**FlameLesbian** : what changed you? 

**GreenDay** : honestly? My Bi awakening was seeing Cynthia and Alder standing next together 

**Drgon** :  **_MDNWNWNSJSH S A M E_ **

**GarchompMAX** : I’m flattered that I was apart of a big thing in your life, but how did the company start making shitty booty shorts??? These things are like  **_amazingly_ ** comfy, soft, and streatchy???? 

**FlameLesbian** : DK all the aspects of the thing, but the new CEO wanted more booty short production going out faster and to a bunch of big name sellers. So they had to make‘m cheep and fast 

**FlameLesbian** : I ordered a shit ton for Ash when he texted me that day. Then I was going to mail them to him but since he didn’t have a  _ STATIONARY MAILING ADDRESS FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS UNTIL NOW  _

**AshesToAshes** : IM SORRY, BUT I ALSO LOVE YOU, BUT IM GOING TO PROBABLY HATE YOU SOON BECAUSE PROFESSOR KUKUI GATHERS THE MAIL EVERYDAY AND HE LITERALLY TEXTED ME A FEW MINUTES AGO ABOUT THE PACKAGE SITTING ON HIS DESK 

**AshesToAshes** : BUT ALSO 

User  **AshesToAshes** has sent File  **WaterWeasel** to the GC 

User  **RingOfFire** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**RingOfFire** : CYNTHIA GET YOUR ASS BACK ON THE REGIONAL CHAT 

**GarchompMAX** : Oh I forgot how I was outing you out to Hala 

**Land** : smdjajwndn you actually did it??? 

**GarchompMAX** : of course???? Olivia would have an attack on her ovaries if she knew Kukui called Ash his son. But Hala would berate him and that’s funnier in my opinion 

**RingOfFire** :  _ <_< _

User  **RingOfFire** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**GarchompMAX** :  **_you simpleton of a fool, an utter idiot and a coward. I’ll boil your teeth_ **

User  **GarchompMAX** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**MegaDragon** : andhdjs  **amazing**

**Drgon** : THERES A REASON WHY SHES ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHAMPIONS 

**DragonMaster** : I’m literally a dragon type Champion 

**Drgon** : Choke 

**MegaDragon** : Choke 

**AshesToAshes** : no but there’s like 50 fucking pairs of all kinds in here, and there really are Vanilla bath salts in here! 

**FlameLesbian** : there should be matching fuzzy socks to the Kigurumi in the box

**AshesToAshes** : !!!! I don’t care about the heat these things are so soft and comfy! 

**DragonMaster** : we are back and Kukui and Cynthia have immediately started to yell at each other 

**AshesToAshes** : LMAO it’s all on the Regional Chat 

**DragonMaster** : I Refuse to check my phone 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ you’re on your phone  _

**DragonMaster** : Dinner is calling my name! 

**AshesToAshes** : @ **DragonMaster** **_you are a weakling and I want your toes_**

**WelaFire** : wmsjsuwn is The Professor really chasing Cynthia around the shack??? 

**AshesToAshes** : LMAO yeah, I’m outside waving out you!!! 

**WelaFire** : skdjdjsn your Onesie is cute ❤️

**AshesToAshes** : It’s a  _ Kigurumi _ but  **_hehsjwhehdbdb T H A N K S_ **

**Gay** : @ **AshesToAshes** **_W E A K_**

**AshesToAshes** : your falling for one of your Grandpa's helpers so  _ stfu _

**Gay** : Lmao that’s fair 

**SketchMe** : WHOMST 

**Gay** : amdjsjansndb  _ N O T H I N G  _

**SketchMe** : fine but I’m watching you 

**Gay** : Ash you utter fucking idiot, I hate you now 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_:)_ **

**Gay** : I’ve known you since birth and IDK  _ how  _ I keep forgetting you’re a cursed God 

  
  


Group Chat:  **Villains**

**Lysandre** : I can’t believe I have to change my hair and my looks completely for these stupid islands! 

**Giovanni** : oh shut it you Furry, your the most Recognizable out of everyone here but Ghetsis 

**Ghetsis** : I TAKE GREAT OFFENSE TO THAT!!!!!

**Giovanni** :  _ good  _

**Ghetsis** : WHAT ABOUT THE GREEN FELLOW???? 

**Faba** : my name is literally there on the list next to your screen 

**Ghetsis** : TO LAZY TO LOOK 

**Faba** : beside the point, the kids trust me now and I’m doing my best to chug this plan along 

**Giovanni** : good, let's keep the kids safety in mind for now. If we don’t they’ll start getting nosy 

**Cyrus** : you’ve gotten soft Giovanni 

**Lysandre** : Lmao yeah, why do you care so much? 

**Giovanni** : says the man who tried to sacrifice the Chosen One 

**Lysandre** : Wait, wtf do you mean? 

**Giovanni** : there’s one boy in the group of meddling kids that have been foiling most of my big plans to take over the world 

**Faba** : !!! Might he be named Ash? 

**Giovanni** : yes, Ash Ketchum. Son of Delia Ketchum and The younger brother to the Returning Kanto Champion Red Ketchum.

**Giovanni** : he’s been dubbed as the Chosen One by none other than Beast of the sea Lugia, and has been stopping every end of the world plans for all of us 

User  **Archie** has entered the chat  **Villains**

**Giovanni** : Ah Archie, you finally join us. How is your honeymoon with Maximus? 

**Archie** : Maxie and me are fine 

**Archie** : what we  **aren’t** fine is you adding us onto this chat. We aren’t villains anymore so stop it 

User  **Archie** has  **permanently** left the chat  **Villains**

User  **Maxie** has  **permanently** left the chat  **Villains**

**Giovanni** :  **_Well Then_ **

**Cyrus** : speaking of honey moons, isn’t your son on one in Alola also? 

**Giovanni** :  _ unfortunately _ , he’s with his…. **_Gold_**

**Faba** : Ah those two came to talk to Lusamine for something 

**Giovanni** : Oh? 

**Faba** : I don’t know what they talked about, but back to Ash. That little fucker cracked my ribs when he body slammed me 

**Giovanni** : yes, I had some of my grunts trail him when he was in Kanto and he worked out almost everyday alongside his Pokémon

**Giovanni** : I suspect he’s scarily stronger than what he perceives around his friends and teacher, he is very good at acting when he wants to. 

**Giovanni** : but nevertheless it’s time to get back to work, time’s wasting and its precious for us to get everything right 

  
  


Group Chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**GreenViridian** : what in the absolute fuck!?


	10. Do you believe in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s short, and that’s on me but I’m working on a longer won so this is just an appetizer for now!

Group chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

User  **Silver** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

User  **ButterMeUp** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Silver** : can I just enjoy my HoneyMoon in peace? 

**Silver** :  **_P l e a s e_ **

**AshesToAshes** : no can do bro 

**ButterMeUp** : @ **GreenVirdian** did you or did you not scheme with Silver to keep me and Red apart two island lengths at all times? 

**GreenViridian** :  _ oh fuck yes _

**ButterMeUp** :  **I knew it was a yes,** **_but I wasn't expecting that much intensity_ **

**GreenViridian** : it’s because if we were at every island together there would be non stop battling between you two 

**GreenViridian** : and I actually want to fucking in joy my Honeymoon with my husband and no one else really 

**AshesToAshes** : is this why you two never visited me even though I’m here in Alola? 

**GreenViridian** : both me and red love you Ash 

**AshesToAshes** : lmao I get it, but really have fun for the rest of your honeymoon! 

User  **AshesToAshes** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

User  **BlueMe** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**BlueMe** :  **_OwO wats thiws_ **

**GreenViridian** :  _ Demon hell spawn  _

**BlueMe** :  **_uwu Gween senpwa_ **

**ButterMeUp** : hhhh I don’t need to be here 

**BlueMe** : no but in all honesty you fuckers finally join this hell chat???? It’s been like three to four fucking months!?!? 

**GreenViridian** : Red doesn’t have a phone and I lost mine at the beginning of our trip so I had to get a new one 

**ButterMeUp** : silver had a no phone rule for the first week and I’ve been busy as the new Johto Champion 

**ButterMeUp** : which reminds me @ **AshesToAshes** I sent multiple paperwork over sea for you and I don’t know when you’ll get them but it’s just asking you to sign it and not be the secondary Champion for Johto. 

**Silver** : honey it’s five AM come back to bed 

**ButterMeUp** : not to your cold toes,  _ that’s a hell no on me chief  _

**BlueMe** :  _ uwu Gwold dowsn’t love Silvwer Enouwh  _

**ButterMeUp** : fuck off Blue 

**Silver** :  _ Gold  _

**ButterMeUp** : I’m already several miles down from our hotel, Cyn wanted to get a fucking Malasada when they first opened. 

**Silver** : oh, get one for feraligatr Please?

**ButterMeUp** : sure thing sweetie 

**BlueMe** : >_>

**ButterMeUp** :  _ up shut your fuck Blue  _

——

**AshesToAshes** :  **_hhhhhh_ ** @ **FlameLesbian** when you said ratchet,  **_I DIDN’T KNOW IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS_ **

**FlameLesbian** : HAHA YOU GOT THE SECOND BOX 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ I’m Dying Squirtle  _

**Drgon** : what did you get!?!? 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ like hell im telling any of you _

**WhiteEmpress** : Ash 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_I don’t need my friends prying into my sex live thank you very much_ **

**DragonMaster** : YOUR  _ SEX  _ **_WHAT_ **

**AshesToAshes** : A zoinks Scoobs 

**DragonMaster** :  **_W H A T_ **

**BlueMe** : I was expecting something like ‘grow your own boyfriend’ but nothing sexual 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_I am 18 going on 19 year old Pansexual trainer that is dealing with Chemical shit in my brain and growing up in general_ **

**AshesToAshes** : I’m other words:  _ puberty sucks and Zoey is the only person I talk to about who I want to fuck and get fucked by _ .

**AshesToAshes** : this is the much your going to get out of me 

**BlueMe** : andhdjsns I don’t blame you one but child. 

**DragonMaster** :  **_I do, your a child_ **

**AshesToAshes** :  **_I’ve been a legal adult since 10 Mother fucker_ **

**AshesToAshes** : y’all fuckin lucky I didn’t start drinking since the age of 16 and that was fucking  **_rare_ ** back then too 

**RingOfFire** :  **_W A I T_ **

**AshesToAshes** : oh no 

**RingOfFire** :  **_YOU CAN LEGALLY DRINK ALCOHOL AT THE AGE OF FUCKING 10 IN KANTO!?!?!?_ **

**AshesToAshes** :  _ uuuuuuhhhhhhh  _

**AshesToAshes** :  _ Yes? _

**AshesToAshes** : In Kanto once you be some a trainer your a legal adult since your going to be traveling around Kanto without a parent so the league makes you sign a bunch of shit about it. 

**AshesToAshes** : tho surprisingly most of the kids stay away until they hit 13 and think it’s cool to get like super drunk and shit. I never really liked the taste of it from what sips Brock would give me when he makes dinner with wines and stuff. 

**RingOfFire** : @ **RockDad** you gave him wine!? 

**RockDad** :  **_you say it like I told him to swig from the fucking bottle_ ** , no I just gave him a little tiny but from a bottle cap, and that’s just when he would ask to try it and that only happened a total of 5 times. 

**AshesToAshes** : I blame @GarchomMAX because in Sinnoh every time we would accidentally stumble Upon each other she would ask us to go try some wine with her since the legal drinking age is 16 in Sinnoh and our group was either over the age or just reached it. 

**AshesToAshes** : I may be very childish at times, but when it comes to alcohol and smoking I generally stay away from that shit 

**RingOfFire** : you smoked too? 

**ElectricNerd** : the smoking age in Kalos is 17 and both me and Ash were the only ones to have a drag every now and then and it was usually when we had our own room in a hotel. 

**AshesToAshes** : I only had a full cigarette 3 times in my life, we usually shared one and i only had a couple of puffs. 

**RingOfFire** : I’m getting a drink and taking a nap 

User  **RingOfFire** has logged out of the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**AshesToAshes** : wu 

**FoodForThought** : wait Ash I need you to buy me a certain wine 

**AshesToAshes** :  **H e l l N o**

**FoodForThought** : Please!?!? 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_No_ ** and don’t ask me again, that’s for your parents to get and not a friend who can. 

**FoodForThought** : but it’s for a dish I wanna make! 

**AshesToAshes** : the answer is still no Mallow, I don’t want your father to think I’m a bad friend by buying you 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_A MINOR_ **

**AshesToAshes** : an alcoholic drink, for a dish or not. 

**AshesToAshes** : + I’m busy rn 

**Drgon** : with what!? 

User  **AshesToAshes** has sent File  **OceanFunTime** to the GC 

User  **AshesToAshes** has sent Files  **DickMeMaybe** to the GC 

**AshesToAshes** : watching my Pokémon have fun in the water and sand as I sit and eat multiple mini pan colored dick suckers 

**DragonMaster** : I don’t need this 

**AshesToAshes** : you asked 

**FlameLesbion** : I need to come to Alola!!! 

**AshesToAshes** : their having a pride festival in a month here on Melemele!!! 

**FlameLesbian** : andhsjnwbdj @ **Con.Queen** BABE!!!! 

**Con.Queen** : I’ll find us a hotel if you buy the tickets 

**FlameLesbian** :  **_D E A L_ **

**AshesToAshes** : warning @ **Con.Queen** don’t buy from happy rainbow resort the owners shit 

**Con.Queen** : I won’t even question how you know the owner but aight. 

**AshesToAshes** : good, anyways I love you all but Torracat just made war with a sipping wet Lycanroc 

User  **AshesToAshes** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**


	11. what's in the box Ash?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhh short and sweat again but that's because i have multiple other projects i'll be hopefully uploading tonight!

Group Chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Drgon** : Ash i really need to know what you got in the second box.

**AshesToAshes** :  _ W H Y ? _

**Drgon** : for science, now tell me 

**AshesToAshes** : Uhhhhh no 

**Drgon** : P L S 

**AshesToAshes** : No

**Drgon** :  _ P L S  _

**AshesToAshes** : n O

**Drgon** :  **_P L S_ **

**AshesToAshes** : N O 

**Drgon** :  **_B_ ** _ L S  _

**FlameLesbion** : It’s completely up to you Ash, most of the stuff i sent you are inside jokes anyways. 

**AshesToAshes** : Yeah that’s the reason WHY Zoey. 

**FlameLEsbian** : Just give them a list it doesn’t matter 

**AshesToAshes** : HHHHHHHH Fine but first

**Drgon** : ?

Mod User  **AshesToAshes** has stopped User  **Rotom** ,  **GArchompMAX** ,  **WhiteEmpress** ,  **BidFool** ,  **DragonMaster** ,  **SStone** ,  **HelpMePLS** ,  **QueenElsa** ,  **ProfSamuel** ,  **RingOfFire** ,  **HoundDoom** ,  **MegaStone** , And  **MothersAshes** from viewing all text from now to when Mod User AshesToAshes allows.

**Drgon** :  **W H U**

**GreenDay** : I was not expecting that.

**AshesToAshes** : to Iris who fucking whinned what was in the box; a viberating cactus dildo, Bacon lube, a sink stopper with an enlarged Ken hhead supper glued on, multipul pan colored dick suckers ranging in size, ass gummies, red + blue glitter, and a skitty thong.

GreenDay: Again, **_I wasn't expecting that._**

**Drgon** :  **_W H U_ **

**MegaDragon** :  _ uefhehvkdh _ wasn’t the vibrating cactus dildo a thing you said in the group chat with me and Zoey like a year ago? 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ HHHHHHH  _ **_yes_ **

**Drgon** :  **_EXCUSE ME BUT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE FULL TEXT THAT REQUIRED ASH TO SAY HE WANTED A CACTUS DILDO_ **

**AshesToAshes** : I didn't state that i wanted a cactus dildo, it’s just a reference. 

**Drgon** :  **_TO W H A T_ **

**AshesToAshes** : I don't need to answer that. 

**MegaDragon** : Ash states and I quote; **_“ fuck me gently with a cactus covered in bacon lube then stuff a sink stopper with an enlarged ken doll head super glued on up my ass and call me Drayden. “_ **

**Drgon** : I was expecting many things 

**Drgon** :  **_BUT NOT T H I S_ **

**GreenViridian** : …. 

**Silver** : ….

**GreenViridian** :  **I** -

**Silver** :  _ What the fuck Ash?  _

**AshesToAshes** : you’ve  **_literally_ ** been in the same room where I had said worse to  **_L A N C E_ **

**BlueMe** : hi yes? I would like everyone’s eyes to grace upon this  **_C H I L D_ **

**AshesToAshes** : fuck you Blue 

**BlueMe** : Maybe later 

**Gay** : that’s my line 

**BlueMe** : missed your chance 

**AshesToAshes** : hi yes? Can I get everyone’s attention and say that Alder is trying and succeeding to get Lance to go on a date with him. 

**BlueMe** : EXCUSE ME THE FUCK???? 

**GreenDay** : andhsjnwsn I don’t  **_NEED THIS_ **

**AshesToAshes** : Burgundy is doin me a fuckin DEED rn 

User  **AshesToAshes** has sent Video  **GodWhy** to the GC 

**GreenDay** :  **I D O W N W I K E I T**

User  **BluePetal** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**BluePetal** : Ash come get your fucking Lycanroc 

**AshesToAshes** : it don’t bite 

**BluePetal** : YES IT DO 

User  **BluePetal** has sent Video  **Destroy** to the GC 

**Drgon** :  **_I S. T H A T_ **

**AshesToAshes** : LMAO, yeah that’s James 

**BlueMe** : I’m telling Green!!! Red is going to be so disappointed in you 

**GreenViridian** : Red already knows, he also is on good terms with James for some reason both he and Ash won’t tell me. 

**AshesToAshes** : Because it’s Reasons™ and you don’t need to know. 

**BluePetal** : also Jessie and Meowth are going to try and steal Pikachu and Torracat today. 

**AshesToAshes** : andhsjvddbhsbs I understand  _ Pikachu  _ but why  **_Torracat?!??_ **

**BluePetal** : Meowth wants it for some reason 

**AshesToAshes** : that sounds like Meowth, but he can try because Torracat has been looking to fight a god lately and Solgleo refuses to come near the Snacc Shacc because of it. 

**AshesToAshes** : Also how the fucking  **_H E L L_ ** did Lycanroc get over there. 

**BluePetal** : idk just come get your Pokémon 

**AshesToAshes** : Meowth is gonna fight a god killer today. 

User  **BluePetal** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

Mod User AshesToAshes has now let Users  **Rotom** ,  **GArchompMAX** ,  **WhiteEmpress** ,  **BidFool** ,  **DragonMaster** ,  **SStone** ,  **HelpMePLS** ,  **QueenElsa** ,  **ProfSamuel** ,  **RingOfFire** ,  **HoundDoom** ,  **MegaStone** , And  **MothersAshes** see all messages in the GC 

**HoundDoom** : hi yes. 

**HoundDoom** : WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU ALL DISCUSSED THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU NEEDED TO BLOCK MOST OF THE FUCKING ADULTS IN THE GC 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_R e a s o n s™_ **

**HoundDoom** : hejajdhdb if it weren’t for Alder actually getting an actual 1 on 1 date with Lance i would get the time to chew you out more you little shit 

**GreenDay** :  **_HHHHHHHHHHH_ **

**AshesToAshes** : hey Cilan you okay? 

**GreenDay** :  _ just having a crisis that’s all  _

**AshesToAshes** : Oh okay 

**AshesToAshes** : now if y’all would excuse me i have to go rescue my dumb lovable Lycanroc from Team Rocket and Torracat need’s to fight Meowth forMewtwo’ reason 

User  **AshesToAshes** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**MegaDragon** :  **_I still don’t know what the fuck a Metwo is and i’m afriad to even A S K_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk to me on Tumblr alolarain


	12. TRANS RIGHTS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me! [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/alolanrain)

Group chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**AshesToAshes** : @ **Gay** quick guess what number I’m thinking of 

**Gay** : 13 or 69 

**AshesToAshes** : @ **ElectricSN** @ **FoodForThought** **I FUCKING TOLD YOU**

**Gay** :????? 

**FoodForThought** : huh, you were right 

**ElectricSN** : I still don’t believe it 

**Gay** : I’m confused 

**AshesToAshes** : fine if you don’t believe me, I never told Gary the number but 

**AshesToAshes** : Gary what’s my body count 

**Gay** :  **_oh F u c k. Uh_ **

**ElectricSN** :  _ wat is a body count?  _

**AshesToAshes** : NANDAJNA _ SNSHQHWNDBHD  _ **_I FORGOT THERE WERE STILL BABEY UNITS IN THE CHAT_ **

**Gay** : I would say around 50 but my pesific answer would be around 43

**DragonMaster** : hey Ash? 

**DragonMaster** :  **_WHAT THE FUCK!?_ **

**GarchompMAX** : I don’t need to read this 

**QueenElsa** : just so you know Ash, Kukui is screaming in the R chat rn 

**AshesToAshes** : I have regretted every decision up until now 

**Gay** : that’s a lie 

**AshesToAshes** : pray fucking tell me what part mate 

**Gay** : you don’t regret calling Arceus and Kyogre a moody bitch 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ lmao yeah you got me chief _

**AshesToAshes** : also @ **RingOfFire** it’s your own fault for reading the message 

User  **RingOfFire** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**RingOfFire** : I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD BE  **_THAT_ **

**AshesToAshes** : well rip you I’m an adult 

**Gay** : in other news I’m still confused on why you asked me for a number 

**AshesToAshes** : don’t worry 

**Gay** : well now I’m more worried 

**AshesToAshes** : Hey @ **BidFool** how did the date go?

User  **BidFool** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**BidFool** : Ash i STA don’t you EVER text me at 3 AM again or i will come to Alola and gut you 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ W O W  _ ALRIGHT 

**BidFool** : what im truly wondering rn is why the background on my phone is a Bouffalant 

**Gay** : Oh my god 

**BidFool** :  **_wait_ **

**AshesToAshes** : NSHAJQNSHS **JFHWJENDBN** **_NXHSJWNEVSHQKJWBEBDHD_ **

**AshesToAshes** :  **_YOU TWO DID THE D O_ **

**Gay** :  **HHHHHHHH** **_HHHHHHHHHH_ **

User  **DragonMaster** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

User  **DragonMaster** has sent File  **Huh?** To the GC 

User  **DragonMaster** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

User  **BidFool** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**AshesToAshes** : Cilan how you feel? 

**GreenDay** : …..

**GreenDay** : I have no words 

**AshesToAshes** : that’s fair 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_IN OTHER NEWS_ **

User  **AshesToAshes** has sent File  **plane** to the GC 

**AshesToAshes** :  **THEY'RE** **_H E R E_ **

User  **AshesToAshes** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**ElectricSN** : it’s already been a month???? 

**WelaFire** : didn’t you see Ash’s insta pic with him and a trans and pansexual flag? He posted it on the first of this month 

**ElectricSN** : uh I didn’t 

**Drgon** : I didn’t know Ash was trans???? 

**GreenDay** : he commented on his binder multiple times and even we were even with him when he bought a couple more 

User  **StopMePls** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**StopMePls** : even  **_I_ ** knew Ash was trans 

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**AshesToAshes** : granted I specifically told you Bianca 

**StopMePls** : I know! That’s because we’re trans buddies! <3 

**AshesToAshes** : madhusjsbs. Yeah <3 

**FuC™** : WAIT 

**FuCk™** :  _ SO YOUR TELLING ME I HAD ANOTHER TRANS FRIEND AND I DIDNT FUCKING KNOW  _

**AshesToAshes** :  **_IM SORRY_ **

**FuCk™** :  _ I HAVE BEEN  _ **_D E P R A V E D_ ** _ AND  _ **_D I S R E S P E C T E D_ **

**AshesToAshes** :  **hhhhhhhhh**

**FuCk™** :  **> :|**

**AshesToAshes** : I never grew up in a hostile environment! My mom and everyone around me was very supportive and I never felt like I needed to announce it to others as I thought it was just normal 

**FuCk™** :  _ LUCKY _

**AshesToAshes** : I now have the will to go to Kalos just to punch some adults 

**sQuirtle** :  **please do**

**TrueKalosQueen** :  **_fuck yes please_ **

**FuCk™** : please don’t!!! 

User  **MothersAshes** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**MothersAshes** :  **_Ashton Ketchum you will stay in Alola and not get a warrant for your arrest for physical assault or so help me I will come there and I won’t leave. Do you understand me?_ **

**AshesToAshes** : But Mom! Trevor’s parents are Transphobic! 

**MothersAshes** :  **_ASHTON SATOSHI GIO KETCHUM_ **

**AshesToAshes** :  _ HHHHhhhh  _

**AshesToAshes** : y e s M o m 

**MothersAshes** : anyways @ **FuCk™** and everyone else. I know we never met but I would gladly treat you like one of my own if you so wish! The Ketchum’s household is open to everyone who needs a place to go! 

User  **MothersAshes** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Gay** :  _ what the fuck just happened  _

**GarchompMAX** : THAT'S MY BABY 

**WhiteEmpress** : I keep forgetting even over text she can be  _ very  _ scary 

User  **DragonMaster** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**DragonMaster** :  _ OhmyFuvkim  _ I thought she was coming after me for a minute and I had a heart attack 

User  **BidFool** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**BidFool** : I am and will always be afraid of your sister 

**DragonMaster** :  **_G o o d_ **

**DragonMaster** :  **_that's how you stay alive in this family_ **

User  **QueenElsa** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**QueenElsa** : @ **AshesToAshes** your mother is a god send 

**AshesToAshes** : Thank you! ^-^ 

User **QueenElsa** has left the chat **Champion** **Machine Broke™**

**sQuirtle** : Trevor is know sobbing tears next to me and Shauna 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_good_ ** let him feel what a good loving parent feels like 

**StopMePls** : @ **FuCk™** I had the exact reaction when Ash’s mom contacted me and told me the exact same thing 

User  **Ritchie** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**AshesToAshes** :  **_R I T C H I E Y O U F U C K_ **

**AshesToAshes** : WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN???? 

**Ritchie** : andhajwbdb  _ SPEAKING ABOUT  _ **_BAD PARENTS_ **

**WaterMom** : oh no are they bothering you again???? 

**Ritchie** : my mom tried to guilt trip me into coming home for Christmas 

User  **ProfSamuel** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**ProfSamuel** :  **_they’ll have to get through me first_ **

User  **ProfSamuel** has logged out of the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**AshesToAshes** : SNSHHAJWBDGDHSN I WASNT EXPECTING THAT 

**Ritchie** : there’s more tho as you know I’m currently staying with the Oaks and my parents are now trying to get me back 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ they can catch these hands!  _

**MothersAshes** :  **_> :|_ **

**AshesToAshes** : But not right now 

**MothersAshes** : :) 

**BidFool** :  _ SHE DIDN'T EVEN LOG IN _

**AshesToAshes** : we’re a family of cryptids 

**Ritchie** : But nah that’s everything 

**WhiteEmpress** : I’m actually curious on who has a good relationship with their parents besides @ **AshesToAshes** and @ **DTF**

**WelaFire** : I do

**FoodForThought** : I Do! 

**Land** : So do I 

**ElectricSN** : SAME!!! 

**ElectricNerd** : also same 

**GarchompMAX** : ….. 

**GarchompMAX** :  _ is that all? No more people?  _

**GarchompMAX** : @MothersAshes do you see all of this??? 

**MothersAshes** : you are all my children now. 

**GreenDay** : I for one will happily bow down to our new god

**Drgon** : Same 

**TrueKalosQueen** : same 

**WaterMom** : same 

**Con.King** : same 

User  **FlameLesbian** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

User  **Con.Queen** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

User  **FlameLesbian** has sent File  **Color!!!** To the GC 

**FlameLesbian** : EVERYTHING IS SO COLORFUL!!!!!! 

**FlameLesbian** : AND EVERYONE IS SO  **_FRIENDLY!?!?!?!?_ **

**FlameLesbian** : I don’t want to leave Alola 

**Con.Queen** : well we’re here for a good 2 weeks so we have plenty of time. 

User  **Con.Queen** has sent File  **Puppy** to the GC 

**Con.Queen** : but I really want to catch a Rockruff 

User  **FlameLesbian** has sent Files  **OHMYGOD** to the GC 

**Con.Queen** : you can’t see it but Zoey has tears in her eyes 

**Con.Queen** : @GarchompMAX last years Pride fest was shit 

**GarchompMAX** : I know the Sinnoh League is making sure that what happened last year will never happen again 

**Con.Queen** : did you catch who throw the grenade? 

**GarchompMAX** : yes and they have been put to jail for the rest of their lives. It was multiple hate groups and they’ve been forced to disband 

**Con.Queen** :  _ good  _ now I’m going to go enjoy my trip with my Girlfriend and Ash 


	13. Chaz

Group chat:  **Alola Fuckers**

**FireHuh** : yo @ **PositiveAttention** where are you??? 

**Bnowy** : yeah you weren’t at school!? 

**TogedeHugMe** : I’m honestly surprised he wasn’t at school today because it was training day and Professor Kukui brought out his Braviary 

**MaskRoyalHot** : yo @ **AshesToAshes** where the fuck you at 

**GayGrass** : LANA 

**MaskRoyalHot** : Ash is a Thot and it should be known 

User  **PositiveAttention** has entered the chat  **Alola Fuckers**

**PositiveAttention** : fuck you too Lana 

**MaskRoyalHot** : no u 

**PositiveAttention** :  _ shut  _

**PositiveAttention** : anyways I’m currently doing a Regional required photo shoot with other Champions 

**Glade** : where the fuc are u then? 

**PositiveAttention** : I’m still in Alola actually! I’m just traveling all 4 islands in the span of a week 

**FireHuh** :  _ why???  _

**PositiveAttention** : because Alexa is being a stereotypical snotty Kalos bitch and making me go everywhere since I refused to leave Alola in general to go to Kanto. 

**PositiveAttention** : So I now have my Orange League team minus Lapras. 

**Bnowy** : what’s your team made up of??? I’m really curious!!!! 

**PositiveAttention** : you’ve seen my Pokémon before???? 

**Bnowy** : I’ve only seen 12! And you said you have a few in other places as well!!!! 

**PositiveAttention** : that’s completely reasonable. Just give me a minute

**Bnowy** : !!!!!! 

User  **PositiveAttention** has sent Files  **OI.L.PH** to the GC 

**Glade** :  _ did you get a haircut!?!?!?  _

**MaskRoyalHot** :  **_WHEN DID YOU HAVE GLASSES!?!?!?!?_ **

**PositiveAttention** : 1) I only let Alexa and Dawn cut my hair because their the only ones competent and know my hair is an utter bitch to keep in control

**PositiveAttention** : And 2) I’ve always had glasses. I just forced myself to start wearing contacts because glasses are fucking expensive and can break pretty fucking easily 

**FireHuh** : you didn’t tell me you had a Charzard as well!!! And where the fuck did you get one so big?????? And I’ve never seen those markings on a Pokémon like that!?!?!?!? 

**PositiveAttention** : oh Chaz? He’s not technically mine 

**FireHuh** :  **_what do you mean TECHNICALLY not yours_ **

**PositiveAttention** :  _ HHHHHHH  _

**PositiveAttention** : he’s not mine but he likes my Charzard so he sticks around in the farm and Prof. Oak just cataloged him as mine

**GayGrass** : And so where is your Charzard??? 

**PositiveAttention** : Charzard is sick :( 

**PositiveAttention** : So I asked Chaz if he was willing and he was!!! So he’s here know and I fear he’s going to join Torracat and kill either Team Rocket or Arceus 

**TogedeHugMe** : are they trying to steal your Pokémon!?!!!? 

**PositiveAttention** :  **_THEIR FUCKING TRYING_ **

User **Rotom** had entered the chat **Alola** **Fuckers**

**Rotom** : your Charzard is very particular Ash 

**PositiveAttention** : for the hundredth time Rotom.  _ Chaz isn’t mine!!!  _

**Rotom** : then why did he almost bend down in half for you to scratch his cheeks when his arms are long enough? 

**PositiveAttention** :  **_stop calliNG ME OUT_ **

**GayGrass** : I noticed a lot of powerful Pokémon like to be around Ash 

**FireHuh** : yeah :/ my Charzard also lets Ash scratch his cheeks when he didn’t even let my grandfather do it 

**MaskRoyalHot** :  _ what’s your excuse now Knetchum????  _

**PositiveAttention** : Lmao  _ Knetchum _

**PositiveAttention** : it’s probably because of my aura or that I’m the Chosen One 

**PositiveAttention** : but I usually chalked it up to the even that I actually made my Charzard actually like me by trying to heat it up from being severely frozen with my bare hands. So now my hand permanently stick with Charzard scent, which actually isn’t all that bad!

**Glade** : of all the things I wasn’t expecting that 

**PositiveAttention** : even tho Charzard still likes to flame my ass every now and then 

**Glade** : and there it is 

**PositiveAttention** : it’s not funny Gladion! Chaz andRed’s Charzard is starting to pick up on it 

**Glade** : I don’t feel sorry for you 

**Bnowy** : wait Ash you had a Lapras???? 

**PositiveAttention** : yeah? 

**Bnowy** : And When was this???? 

**PositiveAttention** : this was after Kanto so when I was 11, I think? Sass was my first Orange Island pokemon if I remember correctly 

**MaskRoyalHot** : you named your Lapras  **_S A S S_ ** ??? 

**PositiveAttention** : don’t blame me!! She was the one to choose her nickname! 

**Glade** : you let your own Pokémon pick out their nickname? 

**PositiveAttention** :  _ and you don’t?  _

**Glade** : no???? 

**PositiveAttention** : well that's just bad parenting  **_Rebecca_ **

**Glade** : wa 

**FireHuh** : Mimo accidentally saw the photo. She now wants to meet all your Pokémon 

**PositiveAttention** : lucky her! I’m actually near your ranch rn 

**PositiveAttention** : AND ITS BREAK TIME FUXK YEAH 

**Glade** : why did you censor your fuck 

**PositiveAttention** : Lmao didn’t even notice

**MaskRoyalHot** : Okay **first of all**

**MaskRoyalHot** : I search the orange island league and ur resident king of dumbass energy Ash fought the ‘Undefeated’ Champion who had: 

**MaskRoyalHot** : a Ditto, Gengar, Dragonite, Onix, Venusaur, And a Electabuzz 

**Glade** : oh shit that’s a good line up 

**PositiveAttention** : it is!! His Dragonite took down three of my Pokémon before I finally made it faint. 

**MaskRoyalHot** :  **YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND**

**MaskRoyalHot** : this doofus. This utter fucking  **_M A D. M A N_ ** knows as @ **PositiveAttention**

**MaskRoyalHot** :  **D E F E A T E D**

**MaskRoyalHot** : Drake with 3 (three) unevolved Pomemon 

**FireHuh** : wait wut 

**Glade** :  **_E X C U S E. M E??????_ **

**PositiveAttention** : well, yeah that was back then. But Ivy evolved! And Esquire is now fully evolved as well!!!! 

**MaskRoyalHot** : You didn’t fully evolved all your Pokémon beforehand??? 

**PositiveAttention** : I leave that choice up to them! Because I really don’t like forcing a Pokémon into evolving just for the sake of my agenda

**PositiveAttention** : anyways I’m just arriving on Kiawes form so I’ll talk to y’all later 

User  **PositiveAttention** has left the chat  **Alola Fuckers** __

**MaskRoyalHot** : I stTK I  _ will  _ throttle him when he comes back to class 

**GayGrass** :  **_L A N A_ **

**MaskRoyalHot** : you can’t fucking stop me Mallow

**MaskRoyalHot** : Ash  **_will_ ** get his cheeks  **_SLAPPED_ **

**Glade** :  **_in what context!?!?!?!?_ **

**Gaygrass** : No don’t you dare answer Lana! 

**MaskRoyalHot** :  _ both if I have anything to say about it _

**GayGrass** : that’s it I lost control!


	14. Midnight topic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Currently also working on another chapter for Alola Rain, since the fic is a whip more than anything I didn’t think it would go this far in general so I’m just trying to find out where to lay things down and such.

Group chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Land** : WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU @ **AshesToAshes**

**SupremeEdge** :  _ LMAO she’s actually  _ **_goiNG TO DO IT_ **

**WelaFire** : this is Lana we’re talking about, she’ll do anything if she puts her mind on it 

**Land** : IT’S BEEN A WEEK 

**FoodForThought** : Lana please don’t do this 

**Land** : FUCKING TUFF 

user  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat Champion Machine Broke™ 

**AshesToAshes** : @ **Land** you called? 

**Land** : wtf you at boi 

**Land** :  **_it’s cheek slapping time_ **

**RingOfFire** :  _ I’d really appreciate it if I don’t see my students use this kind of language  _

**Land** : in all apologies Professor 

**Land** :  _ but that’s fucking tuff  _

**Land** : @ **AshesToAshes** WHERE TF YOU AT  **B R O**

**FoodForThought** : OH MY GOD **_L A N A_ **

**AshesToAshes** : I’m stuck in a room with two  _ very  _ pompous egotistical Champions. 

**MegaDragon** : HA YOU GOT STUCK WITH THEM!!!! 

**AshesToAshes** : at least I didn’t have Cynthia and Alder cooing over how absolutely  _ adorable  _ you looked in your charmander board shorts and open shirt with a floppy sun hat 

**MegaDragon** :  _ Okay first off fuck you  _

**Chespie#1:** and second off  **you can’t say that without a follow up picture!!!!**

**MegaDragon** :  _ MAIRIN N O  _

**Chespie#1** :  **_Mairin Y e s_ **

**AshesToAshes** : Lmao I gotchu fam. Just give me a moment 

**MegaDragon** :  **_ASH DONT YOU FUCKING DARE_ **

User  **AshesToAshes** has sent File  **Cutie** to the GC

**AshesToAshes** : here you go Mairin

**MegaDragon** :  **_A S H_ **

**Chespie#1** : OH MY GOD ALAIN YOU LOOK SO CUTE IN THAT SUN HAT!!!!! 

**MegaDragon** : … 

**Chespie#1** : AND LOOK AT LIZZY! She looks so happy to be put in the warm sun!!! 

**MegaDragon** : oh

**Chespie#1** : Alola looks so wonderful! I do wish I was there with you and Lizzy. But I also can’t wait until you come back home! ^_^ 

**MegaDragon** :  _ oh _

**Chespie#1** : well I gotta go now! Thank you again for the picture Ash, it’s going as my lock screen now

User  **Chespie#1** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**MegaDragon** :  **_O H_ **

**DragonMaster** : if your going to call Leon and Wallace out, use their fucking names Ash 

**AshesToAshes** : no fuck you

**Land** : BACK TO THE ORIGINAL TOPIC 

**FoodForThought** : I tried to take her phone away and I obviously failed as I lay on the floor in defeat 

**Land** : Suck is Mallow (I love you tho! ❤️) 

**Mallow** :  _ No fuck you _ , I’m in pain now 

**Land** : in other words. when the fuck are you actually going to be free @ **AshesToAshes**

**AshesToAshes** : not until Saturday morning at this fucking rate 

**WelaFire** : oh my god, their that bad?

**AshesToAshes** :  **_I would rather face a hundred Viren’s than deal with these two any longer_ **

**AshesToAshes** : The editing photographer is about to kill the two and I’m actually ready to do it with my own two bare hands 

**MothersAshes** : Ashton! 

**AshesToAshes** : it’s Wallace and Leon! 

**MothersAshes** : ah, nvm then 

**AshesToAshes** : @ **Land** I will  _ literally  _ come and find you after this shit show just so you can  _ Clap My Cheeks  _ to bring some sort of life back into me 

**Land** : DEAL 

**FoodForThought** : omg NO ASH SHE HITS  **HARD**

**AshesToAshes** : **_it’s all about context M a l l o w_ **

**AshesToAshes** :  _ am I going to have my ass cheeks slapped by someone I can literally toss across the Pokémon School field?  _

**AshesToAshes** :  _ or am I going to get knocked the fuck out and off my feet by a twink lesbian half my size?  _

**AshesToAshes** :  **_who knows at this rate?????_ **

**DragonMaster** : You okay there Ash? 

**AshesToAshes** : hoping for the best but preparing for the worst 

**DragonMaster** :  _ allllrighty then  _

**AshesToAshes** : and I’m now corellating slapping ass cheeks to another topic

**RingOfFire** :  _ can we not  _ **_p l e a s e_ **

**Land** :  **_wait no shut up I want to hear this_ **

**AshesToAshes** : do you ever have that feeling where you just want to be pressed into a mattress of a really fucking comfy bed by someone who’s just bigger than you because then They can encase you in warmth and can curl their whole body around you and  _ and _

**AshesToAshes** :  _ and Im jus fcuk  _

**Land** : take your time you dumbass sweet boy

**AshesToAshes** : And Then they can like use their big hands and message all the knots in your body 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ and have you experienced your ass getting massaged???  _ **_It’s such a good feeling and I want it again_ **

**DragonMaster** : are you actually seriously okay though Ash??? Because you’ve been stuck with Wallace and Leon for a good while and the rest of us are afraid for your health 

**AshesToAshes** : nah, I just haven’t been held down and Topped In a while 

**Land** : so you  **ARE** a twink 

**AshesToAshes** : I thought that was obvious!?!?!? 

**Land** : _no????_ **_Not at all!?!?!?_**

**WelaFire** : we’ve seen you jump off a cliff for Pikachu and seen you scale buildings like your in Assassin Creed along with jumping things no human should jump easily over like you do 

**AshesToAshes** : How  _ TF  _ does that not make me a twink? 

**AshesToAshes** : like cool I’m strong and flexible and all these other masculin things. 

**AshesToAshes** : a twink is a twink. At the end of the day I still want someone to grope my ass as we cuddle in bed 

**SupremeEdge** : I’m having a mini stroke as I watch every new text Ash sends and it’s confusing my brain for some reason 

**Land** : Ash is a Twink Mood™

**Land** : I too want that, that sounds really good and I’m jealous that you got to experience it

**AshesToAshes** : Twink Solidarity™ Also @ **RingOfFire** did my new set of glasses come in yet? 

RingOfFire: kinda not liking what else is in your text. But yeah the box came in 

AshesToAshes:  **perish** and Awesome! 

DTF: WHEN THE FUCK DIDNYOU GET GLASSES!?!?!? 

GreenDay: excuse me???  _ Glasses!?!?  _

WaterMom: I’ve never seen you with glasses???? 

Con.Queen: DO YOU MEAM THAT I COULD HAVE HAD A GLASSES BUDDY WHILE TRAVELING WITH YOU AND BROCK?!?!?!? YOU ABSOLUTE  **F U C K E R**

AshesToAshes: oh yeah, a lot of you don’t know I had glasses since I was really fucking young. I forced myself to wear contacts before going on my first journey since glasses are a bitch the clean and are expensive if they break 

**Prof.Samuel** : and that’s a completely valid reason!!! 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_I was unaware that Professor Oak was reading my messages about being a Twink_ **

**AshesToAshes** : I’m done and Idk what Wallace and Leon say 

**AshesToAshes** : my pictures are  _ done  _ and I’m fucking  **_out of here_ **

**AshesToAshes** : @ **Land** reschedule on the Cheek Clap I’m hungry and too tired to walk all the way to your house and back 

**Land** : I’ll get you in the morning then 

**AshesToAshes** : that’s completely fair. Night! Or good morning really 

**Land** : just get some fuckin sleep already dumbass 


	15. Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other two clones are here!! The reason why Ash doesn’t actually explain to the others that their actually supped up Pokémon is on the count of the Region taking them away and locking them up.

User  **Land** has sent file  **Help** to the GC

**Land** : Help 

**WelaFire** : Help 

**FoodForThought** : Help 

**ElectricSN** : Help 

**TooPure** : Help 

**AshesToAshes** : _sndyskwndbsjan_ _I’m missing all the good holy memes in the class_

**DragonMaster** : that’s your fault for leaving the editing photographer alone with the two fuckers 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_I didn’t actually think hey would make us do the whole shooting over again_ **

**DragonMaster** : you think your just the sole person who has work piling up???? 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_absolutely not you wingless shaved Bidoof motherfucker that still can’t tie their fuckin shoes Lookin ass_ **

User  **Rotom** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Rotom** : Ash I came on here to remind you that Drake has sent you more files that you need to sign off on and that you have two essays dou the day you come back to class 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_hhhhhHHHHHH_ **

**AshesToAshes** : Thank you for reminding me Rotom 

**Rotom** : you’re quite welcome! Also I think Team Rocket is nearby because Torracat and Charzard shot up from their daily sun nap 

**AshesToAshes** : tell me if they actually get kidnapped or close to killing them bc I’m a bit busy with Smash 

**Rotom** : alright! 

User  **Rotom** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**RingOfFire** : in other news 

**RingOfFire** :  _ I really hate the new projector and I’m about three seconds away from smashing it and tossing it from the balcony  _

**TooPure** : I’ve never seen such an impressive frown in my life 

**TooPure** :  _ And I’ve seen my brother  _

**AshesToAshes** : Emshshwksn 

**SupremeEdge** :  **_L I L L I E_ **

**TooPure** :  _ it’s the truth Gladion  _

**TooPure** :  **_Face the judgment_ **

**RingOfFire** : alright kids off your phones, I finally got it working 

**ElectricSN** : that’s a bold face lie Professor. I was the one who got it working 

**RingOfFire** :  _ Just let me have this  _

**ElectricSN** :  **_no_ **

—

**AshesToAshes** : I FINALLY FUCKING DONE IT!!!!!! 

**DTF** : what have you done? 

User  **AuraBuggy** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**AuraBuggy** : I finally got my phone fucking fixed A week ago and it just now stopped going haywire  _ again  _ because of this chat 

**DTF** :  **_R I L E Y YOU’RE FINALLY HERE_ **

**RockDad** :  _ oh shit it’s the aura boi  _

**AuraBuggy** :  _ this is what greets me when I finally come onto this cursed chat that had over 50,000 text messages  _

**AuraBuggy** : because I want a fuckin refund 

**AshesToAshes** : RUDE 

**AuraBuggy** : GOOD 

**AshesToAshes** : amshsjwwnns BACK TO THE ORIGINAL TOPIC 

User  **AshesToAshes** has sent File  **ItIsDone** to the GC 

**AshesToAshes** : it took me fucking  **_Y E A R S_ **

**AshesToAshes** : but I’m finally #1 on the national list on the cursed Duolingo sight 

**TooPure** : _ I can’t believe I’m sending this but  _

**TooPure** :  **WHAT THE FUCK**

**Land** : HOW THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE OVER A COUPLE MILLION POINTS!!?!?!?!? 

**ElectricSN** : H O W 

**FoodForThought** : Lmao y’all didn’t know? 

**TooPure** : HOW DID YOU KNOW!!?!?!? 

**FoodForThought** : he would be on it while also taste testing for me 

**FoodForThought** : but to be honest I just thought he was expanding his Alolain 

**AshesToAshes** : I was!!! Even though I was already learning the language before coming here! 

**RockDad** : ah  _ that’s  _ the language you talked at me when you frantically called me a day before you were going 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ yeah _ . The thing was so unscheduled in general so I had to start immediately and I was only given a week to learn it so I panicked 

**ElectricNerd** : I’m actually really fucking impressed. Ash how many languages have you learned?? 

**AshesToAshes** : ahhhhh give me a moment 

**AshesToAshes** : I learned Kantonese and Kalosian side by side when I was growing up, Orange Island’s had a different accent than on the mainland so it took me 2 days to adjust 

**AshesToAshes** : Johtonese was easy since almost half of the words were the same in Kantonese

**AshesToAshes** : Hoennian was a bit harder and it took me two weeks but Richie was fluent in it so he helped me 

**AshesToAshes** : Gary and Daisy, but mostly Daisy, helped me with my Sinnohion because both were fluent and I was struggling with at least half of their bigger words 

**AshesToAshes** : Unovian was embarrassingly easy along with English since it was also pretty hecken close to Hoennian 

**AshesToAshes** : never really lost my Kalosian because it just came really naturally to me with my Kantonese. So I only had to brush up on some of the newer words and things they added or changed in the language 

**AshesToAshes** : and I mastered Alolain in about a week and a half, but it might be less since I was also sick before coming here and had taken to much DayQuil 

**Drgon** : HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU THIS SMART TO KNOW SO MANY FUCKING LANGUAGES 

**Drgon** : BUT YET YOU’RE A BUMBLING FOOL???? 

**AshesToAshes** : r u d e 

**GreenDay** : She has a point Ash 

**AshesToAshes** : I KNOW STOP CALLING ME OUT 

**AshesToAshes** : but nah, speaking and hearing different Lang come easy to me, but I’m shit as remembering how to read and write in the languages I don’t need 

**RingOfFire** : So you can only listen and speak in your current language 

**AshesToAshes** : in the languages I don’t really  _ need  _ to use besides Kantonese and Alolain right now.

**TooPure** : you don’t look like a language buff though????? 

**AshesToAshes** : oh sorry, le’me just dress down in khakis and a jumper with thick as fuck glasses and have several pounds of books with me at all time 

**TooPure** :  _ point clearly shown across the board  _

**TooPure** :  **_THANKS_ **

**AshesToAshes** : nah I’m just joking, I know I don’t look like a language buff but I always liked to communicate with new people and go to new places that aren’t in my home Region and I just thought it would be better to learn the language before leaving home. 

**Land** : Nerd!!! 

**AshesToAshes** : says the girl who mesmerized all the Regions water type gym leaders Pokémon and moves 

**Land** : that’s  _ different  _

**AshesToAshes** : it's really not 

**AshesToAshes** : Also!!! 

User  **AshesToAshes** has sent File  **Main4** to the GC 

**RockDad** : oh shit what happened to Ivy and Esquire???? 

**AshesToAshes** : they evolved!!! And Ivy’s flower feels like velvet and it looks and the sun doesn’t even show up on her petals!!!! 

**AshesToAshes** : Esquire apparently has this rare evolutionary trait where he’s already kinda Mega evolved? Yet not at the same time??? 

**MegaStone** :  _ Hi yes  _

**MegaStone** :  **_WHAT THE FUCK_ **

**AshesToAshes** :  **_nabqkamzhakkqwnbsbs._ **

**AshesToAshes** : it's the outcome of a lot of things. Mewtwo said it’s because of how much I subconsciously leak Aura and that was before I ever knew what that shit was. So I never had an inch of training until Rota and that was just sadness and shit I’m not explaining further 

**AuraBuggy** :  **_YOU’VE BEEN TO ROTA!?!?!?_ **

**AshesToAshes** :  _ I’m not explaining further  _

**AshesToAshes** : so that, plus it’s also apparently because of my Legendary Charm™ Which is probably my magnetic pull to legendaries 

**AshesToAshes** : and also because of some actual genetic traits that are extremely rare and had died out I think before Hoenn was founded. 

**AshesToAshes** : So Yeah????? 

**RockDad** :  _ what about Ivy!?!?!?  _

**AshesToAshes** : oh idk about Ivy 

**RockDad** : What the fuc 

**AshesToAshes** : Professor Oak And Professor Ivy has nothing to say besides probably my Aura but since their Scientist™ they don’t really think so since Aura can’t really be scientifically explained 

**AuraBuggy** : I constantly have arguments with Professor Rowan about Aura 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ R.I.P you Riley, but I’m different  _

**AuraBuggy** :  **_I’m quite aware_ **

**AshesToAshes** : but the two theorize that it’s because of how strong Ivy got when she was a Bulbasaur and when she wanted me to take the Everstone off of her the chemicals in her brain did something weird as she evolved into an Ivysaur because she actually had a white flower 

**AshesToAshes** : then Scraggy has to go and challenge her and she won and then evolved again because apparently her brain saw how strong she had gotten and thought that it was she should be a Venusaur already and so the last evolution brain chemical kick up wasn’t finished settling down and things happened that no one can really scientifically explain 

**RockDad** : huh 

**AshesToAshes** : but coming back to the general topic of the two and adding onto Chaz and my Charzard 

**AshesToAshes** : Charzard is completely fine and actually here in Alola with me! Chaz didn’t want to leave and I ended up actually taking on Venu and Slits 

**RockDad** :  **_who the fuck is Venu and Slits!?!?!?_ **

**AshesToAshes** : acquired the same why with Chaz 

**RockDad** : what the actual fuck 

**AshesToAshes** : I can send a picture since they're all here! 

User  **AshesToAshes** has sent File  **OgSquad+3** to the GC 

**AuraBuggy** :  **_WTF THEIR SO BIG?!?!?!_ **

**Land** :  **_!!!!!!! BIG WATER POKÉMON !!!!!!!!!_ **

**AshesToAshes** : I’m actually on Melemele, we’re on the public beach taking a break 

**Land** :  **_I will be right there_ **

User  **Land** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**DragonMaster** : Chaz, Venu, and Slits are like three times bigger than my Gyarados 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ R.I.P you Lance  _

**DragonMaster** :  _ I’m not even joking _ , there’s news station sitting on the boardwalk just to get a picture of Ash’s fucking Pokémon 

User  **DragonMaster** has sent Files  **Fuck** to the GC 

**AshesToAshes** : LMAO I’m going to have to go up there anyways to let Officer Jenny know that Lana need to come through 

**DragonMaster** : good luck with that 

**AshesToAshes** : I have cursed you every day since you sent me that fucking email asshole 

**AshesToAshes** : wish me luck Y’all 

User  **AshesToAshes** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**


	16. Disgusted and Revolted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AshesToAshes + PositiveAttention + C.Ash: Ash  
> RockDad: Brock  
> WaterMom: Misty  
> Gay + P.IT.Gary: Gary  
> Sketchme: Tracey  
> DTF: May  
> Con.King: Drew  
> Con.Queen: Dawn  
> FlameLesbian: Zoey  
> WhyAmIAlive: Paul  
> Drgon: Iris  
> GreenDay: Cilan  
> Electricnerd: Clemont  
> KalosQueen: Serena  
> TrueKalosQueen: Shauna  
> TrueTrueKalosQ: Miette  
> sQurtile: Tierno  
> FuCk™: Trevor  
> GreenNMean: Sawyer  
> MegaDragon: Alain  
> Chespie#1: Mairin  
> AtMyBest: Nini  
> Land + MaskRoyalHot: Lana  
> WelaFire + FireHuh: Kiawe  
> TooPure: Lillie  
> ElectricSn TogeDeHugMe: Sophocles  
> FoodForThought: Mallow  
> SupremeEdge: Gladion  
> Rotom: Rotom  
> Run: Barry  
> StopMePls: Bianca  
> @Me: Stephen  
> Don't@Me: Cameron  
> Ritchie:Ritchie  
> AuraBuggy: Riley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MothersAshes: Delia  
> MegaStone + P.Sycamore: Sycamore  
> GarchompMAX: Cynthia  
> BidFool: Alder  
> DragonMaster; Lance  
> SStone: Steven  
> HelpMePLS: Wallace  
> WhiteEmpress: Diantha  
> QueenElsa: Lorelei  
> HoundDoom: Malva  
> ProfSamuel + P.Oak: Prof Oak  
> RingOfFire + P.Kukui: Kukui  
> K.Hala: Hala  
> K.Olivia: Olivia  
> K.Nanu: Nanu

Group chat:  **Alola Fuckers**

**TogedeHugMe** : @ **MaskRoyalHot** _how you feel???_

User  **MaskRoyalHot** has entered the chat  **Alola Fuckers**

**MaskRoyalHot** : I’m currently trying not to cry happy tears bc’s Ash’s  **_gigantic_ ** Blastoise lifted me on top of its shoulder between its head and one of its canons. 

**PositiveAttention** : people are pissed that Lana’s here but I argued that she’ll keep the Pokémon not being photos out of trouble 

**PositiveAttention** : So you're good to stay!!! 

**MaskRoyalHot** : AMAHSKAMWNSBD 

**MaskRoyalHot** :  _ THANK YOU  _

**FireHuh** : speaking about ash’s Pokémon 

**FireHuh** :  **_Chaz is just that big huh?_ **

**PositiveAttention** : amsnnana  _ y e a h  _

**PositiveAttention** : idk what’s up with Chaz tbh

**PositiveAttention** : we also don’t know why he has two more skin flaps that connect his sides to the bottom of the wings 

**PositiveAttention** : we think it’s just because he’s bigger than a normal Charzard so then his wings can’t support all his weight. So the flap things help him glide and fly easier 

**FireHuh** : I was talking more onto the lines of his horns 

**PositiveAttention** : Genetics??? Growth??? Idk i save that stuff for the Professor’s and Gary 

**MAskRoyalHot** : dumb boi 

**PositiveAttention** : Are you honestly surprised by now? 

**MaskRoyalHot** : no not really 

**PositiveAttention** : Wait brb, Riley is calling out on the main GC 

User  **PositiveAttention** has left the chat  **Alola Fuckers**

Group chat:  **Ash is a little btch**

\----

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Ash is a little btch**

**AshesToAshes** : Okay first off

**AshesToAshes** :  **_who the fuck changed the name_ **

**AuraBuggy** :  **_M E A S S H O L E_ **

**AshesToAshes** : Lmao i forgot i gave you perminit mod powers 

**AshesToAshes** : but seriously what do you want Riley??? 

**AuraBuggy** : Aura training 

**AshesToAshes** : you want me to talk about it here???

**AuraBuggy** : like ⅓ of the chat is Professor’s, they don’t care 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ eeeehhhh yeah i’m good  _

**AuraBuggy** :  _ Ash _

**AshesToAshes** : Not on here

**AuraBuggy** :  **Ash**

**AshesToAshes** : I’ll call you! 

**AuraBuggy** :  **_Ash_ **

**AshesToAshes** : Better yet! Why don’t you come to Alola for a week!?

**AuraBuggy** :  **_ASH_ **

**AshesToAshes** : i mean like come on? There’s great Pokemon here and you can relax and hang out. I haven’t actually seen you in a while! 

**AuraBuggy** :  **_A S H_ **

**AshesToAshes** : I don’t wanna!!!

User  **AshesToAshes** has left the chat  **Ash is a little btch**

**AuraBuggy** :  **_I’M ABOUT TO COME DOWN TO ALOLA JUST TO SMAKLE YOUR FACE_ **

**DTF** :  _ smakle _

**Con.King** :  _ Smakle _

**RockDad** :  _ Smakle _

**WaterMom** : Smakle

**Con.Queen** : Smakle

**SketchMe** : Smakle

**FlameLesbion** : Smakle

**Greenday** : Smakle

**Drgon** : Smakle 

**WhyAmIAlive** : Smakle

**Gay** : Smakle

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : Smakle 

**TrueKalosQueen** : Smakle

**Rotom** : Smakle 

**Run** : Smakle 

**StopMePls** : Smakle 

**@Me** : Smakle 

**Don’t@Me** : Smakle 

**Ritchie** : Smakle

**ElectricNerd** : Smakle

**ElectricSN** : Smakle 

**Land** : Smakle 

**WelaFire** : Smakle 

**MothersAshes** : Smakle 

**sQuirtle** : Smakle 

**FuCk™** : Smakle 

**GreenNMean** : Smakle 

**TooPure** : Smakle 

**SupremeEdge** : Smakle 

**MegaDragon** : Smakle 

**Chespie#1** : Smakle 

**AtMyBest** : Smakle 

**GarchompMAX** : Smakle 

**BidFool** : Smakle 

**DragonMaster** : Smakle 

**SStone** : Smakle 

**HelpMePls** : Smakle 

**WhiteEmpress** : Smakle 

**QueenElse** : Smakle 

**ProfSamuel** : Smakle 

**RingOfFire** : Smakle 

**HoundDoom** : Smakle 

User  **AshesToAshes** has entered the  **chat Ash is a little btch**

**AshesToAshes** : Smakle 

**Silver** : Smakle 

**ButterMeUp** :  **_S M A K L E_ **

**GreenViridian** : Smakle 

**BlueMe** : Smakle 

**AuraBuggy** :  **_THAT WAS THE MOST INTENSED SPEED I’VE EVER SEEN A GROUP CHAT RESPONDED AT FUCKING ONCE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE_ **

**AuraBuggy** :  **_AND HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS ARE ON HERE??? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IS THIS EVERYONE ON THE CHAT LIST!?!?!?!?_ **

**RockDad** : yeah that’s 

**RockDad** : _ that’s about everyone  _

**AuraBuggy** :  **_h o l y f u c k_ **

**DTF** : I’m actually crying 

**DTF** :  _ Riley got E V E R Y O N E hoppin onto the chat  _ **_just_ ** _ to rake him through the mud  _

**BidFool** : It wasn’t me for once and i’m  _ glad _

**AshesToAshes** : i still have dirt on you 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ so watch what you type next Alder  _

**BidFool** : efwGGUYJhgkiuugGUJYGFHUGFh 

**BidFool** :  **_YeS SIr_ **

**Gay** : I just want to point out that Riley had made severale people come off from ghosting the chat  _ and a few even that never been one this chat before _ just to respond as fast as they could 

**Gay** :  _ and that’s on top of getting Miss Ketchum and Rotom to do it as well  _

**AuraBuggy** :  _ I am  _ **_quite_ ** _ aware  _

**AshesToAshes** : I would love to stay and chat but I actually have to go clean my Pokemon up since SOMEONE

**AshesToAshes** : @ **DragonMaster** @ **GarchompMAX**

**AshesToAshes** : can’t keep their own clean for the rest of the photoshoot mine ended up getting dirty as well 

User  **AshesToAshes** has left the chat  **Ash is a little btch**

**DragonMaster** : ROOD 

**GarchompMAX** : now that’s just rude 

\----

Group chat: **Regional chat Profs+Champs+Kahu**

**K.Hala** : to the rest of the Kahuna’s 

**K.Hala** : does it feel like something feels weird in the air?

**K.Nanu** : Now that you mention it. Yeah it feels like something is happening yet it also feels more  _ peaceful???  _ At the same time 

**K.Nanu** : It’s really weird and it’s making my Meowth’s act weird as well 

**K.Olivia** : I spotted Tapu Lele being more active around the island before stopping at one of our more touristy beaches that face Melemele. 

**K.Olivia** : is something wrong over there Hala?

**K.Hala** : all our Pokemon wild and not are freaking out to but in a calm way you could say. 

**K.Nanu** : I really wonder what the hell is going on

**P.IT.Gary** : not to rudely barge my way into this convo, but with all my apologies 

**P.IT.Gary** : I bet five dollars it’s Ash at the centre of the problem 

**K.Nanu** : how can you be so sure of yourself? You’ve never been to Alola from my knowledge 

**P.IT.Gary** : watch. In five minutes or less he’ll accidently come onto here screaming about something that was meant to be sent to our main GC 

**K.Olivia** : wait 

**K.Olivia** : what main Group Chat??? 

**P.Kukui** : Gary don’t answer 

**P.Sycamore** : don’t respond Gary 

**P.Oak** :  _ Gary _

**P.IT.Gary** :  _ Yo _ i wasn’t going to say anything but  _ y’all  _ gave it away on your own 

**K.Olivia** ;  _ Kukui’s on the chat and i’m not????  _

**P.Kukui** :  **w e l l**

User  **C.Ash** has entered the chat  **Regional chat Profs+Champs+Kahu**

**C.Ash** :  **_I AM DISGUSTED_ **

**C.Ash** :  **_I AM REVOLTED_ **

**C.Ash** :  **_I DEDICATE MOST OF MY LIFE TO KEEP ARCEUS WORLD SAFE AND SOUND_ **

**C.Ash** :  **_AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?!?!?_ **

User  **C.Ash** has sent file  **FUCKYOU** to the GC 

**C.Ash** :  **_ARCEUS IS ABOUT TO GET HIS BITCH ASS, NO MOUTH LOOKIN, MOTHER FUCKING FACE_ **

**C.Ash** : **_S L A P P E D_**

**P.IT.Gary** : oh shit he underlined his words. he ‘s really mad now 

**P.IT.Gary** : Baby what happened??? 

**C.Ash** :  **_did you not look at the picture???_ **

**P.IT.Gary** : I need 

**P.IT.Gary** :  _ C o n t e x t  _

**C.Ash** : So Professor kukui’s house is pretty secluded from the actual town and such

**C.Ash** : And you know I don’t like singing in front of people so I thought “hey no one is around to hear me” so I busted out singing Old Town Road by Lil Nas X because ironically i like the song 

**C.Ash** ; I was also cleaning all the brushes i used to clean  _ the 11 Pokemon under my care _ and which took me forever to clean 

**C.Ash** : And then i hear a thunder k9ind sound and i turn back and it was fucking Arceus who wanted to come and talked to me to just see how the fuck i was doing 

**C.Ash** : But i didn’t fuvking care because you know why? 

**C.Ash** :  _ I shit you not. He covered all the pokemon  _ **_i just finished cleaning_ ** _ in more sand than what they all had before I cleaned them  _ **_in the first place_ **

**P.IT.Gary** : oh big OOF my dude 

**C.Ash** :  **_I’m about to throw hands at Arceus dor like the thirdieth time this year alone_ **

**K.Nanu** : huh so Gary was right 

**C.Ash** : 

**C.Ash** : Wait 

**C.Ash** :  _ FUCK WRONG CHAT  _

User  **C.Ash** has left the chat  **Regional chat Profs+Champs+Kahu**

**K.Hala** : is this normal behavior for Ash? 

**P.Kukui** : I wish I had the option to say no 

**P.IT.Gary** : but the real question is if Arceus is still there 

**P.Oak** :  **_Gary_ **

**P.IT.Gary** : Alright I’ll stop!!! 


	17. Prince Babey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’sCalledFashion: Wallace 
> 
> OhGoddessAbove: Diantha 
> 
> NotYourSugarBaby: Cynthia 
> 
> Ash > PrinceBabey: Ash 
> 
> It’sPropaganda: Leon 
> 
> RingOfFire > FartherlyKukui: Kukui 
> 
> Y’all know the villains, they’ll be the majority for the next chapter and they’ll all get new names as well.

Group chat:  **L.O.V.E M.U.F.F.I.N**

**Faba** : @ **Giovanni**

**Faba** :  **_your child is fucking scary_ **

**Giovanni** : I don’t understand 

User  **Faba** has sent File  **WTF** to the GC 

**Lysandre** : holy shit 

**Ghetsis** : WHY DOES THAT TINY CHILD HAVE A VERY LARGE CHARIZARD????? 

**Giovanni** : that 

**Giovanni** :  _ that’s not his Charizard  _

**Faba** :  **_then fucking who’s is it_ **

**Giovanni** : I really don’t know, it’s still  _ probably _ Ash’s. But I’ve never seen him train one that big before 

**Faba** : wait 

**Faba** :  _ wait _

**Faba** :  **_Wait_ **

**Faba** :  **_Ash has multiple Charizards!?!!?!?!!_ **

**Giovanni** : oh heavens no! He just has three

**Faba** :  _ just three he says!!!  _

**Giovanni** : he used to have more until he had traded them around to his other friends. That kid would help take a few more dangerous and bigger Pokémon off of multiple Officer Jenny’s across Kanto and help them - to what he says “ _ heal _ ” 

**Faba** : so what about the third one??? 

**Giovanni** : oh he trained that one from a Charmander. It’s the only baby of my older bastard child Charizard 

**Faba** : your family is lovely 

**Giovanni** : my so called “kids” keep getting in my way of dominating this helpless piece of dirt floating in space 

**Faba** : **_:/_ **

**Giovanni** :  _ what?  _

**Faba** : nothing! 

**Cyrus** : your child is very tuned into Legendary Pokémon 

**Giovanni** : I really don’t want to talk about this 

**Cyrus** : it’s really truly scientifically exiting and that’s coming from me 

**Cyrus** : it turned out that he had felt with Sinnoh's legendaries multiple times and are on extremely friendly terms 

**Giovanni** : can we not

**Lysandre** : I’ve talked about my machine that I tried to control sugars with it? 

**Faba** : yes quite frequently before you “died” 

**Lysandre** : well that brat broke through it! I’ve never seen such strength and anger from such a skinny beanpole of a human 

**Faba** : you may say that but  **_I_ ** was the one with the cracked ribs at the end where I tried to open the ultra wormhole 

**Ghetsis** : I SWORE THAT THE BOY TRIED TO PUNCH ME WHEN HE CAME INTO MY CHAMBERS TO FACE ME ABOUT N 

**Faba** : idk about that but I was in the hospital for a good long time because of him, little miss Lillie even had the  **_audacity_ ** to tell me that I deserved more!!! 

**Giovanni** : shocking, a little girl getting some bravery just because a big strong man came and help her with her problems 

**Faba** :  **_exactly!!!!_ **

—

Group chat:  **Champion Kingdom**

User  **Ash** has changed the chat name  **Champion Kingdom** to  **We Fucked Up**

**Ash** : okay so 

**It’sCalledFashion** :  _ sweet summer child _

**Ash** :  **Okay So**

**It’sCalledFashion** :  _ it’s 2 am over in Alola  _

**Ash** : I know please stop 

**OhGodDessAbove** : what happened? 

**Ash** : nothing happened 

**Ash** : I just stayed up all night now I can’t sleep

**Ash** : and I have a Pokémon history test of legendaries todays that’s like half my grade for this unit 

**ItsPropaganda** :  **_WAITE_ **

**ItsPropaganda** : you still go to school???! 

**ImNotYourSugarBaby** : get with the time Leon 

**Ash** : it doesn’t help that I’m also sick 

**OhGodessAbove** :  _ honey  _

**Ash** : I know! 

**It’sCalledFashion** : I have no worries that Ash will easily pass this test! 

**Ash** : oh I know I won’t, I won’t fail the language test coming up for basic Kalosian either 

**OhGoddessAbove** : is it the same day? Or the next night??? 

**Ash** : oh the same day

**OhGodDessAbove** :  **_Ashton Satoshi Ketchum_ **

**Ash** : your literally going to make me cry if you go any further 

**ImNotYourSugarBaby** : Baby are you seriously okay??? 

**Ash** : how do I s this up so y’all would get it 

**OhGoddessAbove** : Ash you don’t need to explain it to us!! 

**INotYourSugarBaby** : yeah kiddo your completely fine! We just want you to be healthy!!!! 

**Ash** : I want nacho fries 

**It’sCalledFashion** : what 

**Ash** : a Baja Blast 

**NotYourSugarBaby** : Ash what the fuck??? 

**Ash** :  **_and a place to go cry_ **

**It’sCalledFashion** : ASH 

**NotYourSugarBaby** : ASHTON 

**OhGoddessAbove** :  _ Ash  _

**Ash** :  **I’m sorry don’t smite me please**

**OhGoddessAbove** : don’t worry Babey, I won’t smite you 

**Ash** : did 

**Ash** : _ did you just call me  _

**Ash** :  **_Babey???_ **

**OhGoddessAbove** : ah autocorrect 

**It’sCalledFashion** : Diantha dear that’s the wrong spelling for baby 

**It’sCalledFashion** : And! 

**Ash** :???? 

User  **It’sCalledFashion** changed user  **Ash** ’s name to  **PrinceBabey**

**PrinceBabey** :  _ I’m being  _ **_B u l l i e d_ **

**It’sCalledFashion** :  _ it’s the truth Ash  _

**It’sCalledFashion** :  **_Face it_ **

**PrinceBabey** : stop reminding me of Lillie, joe god powers are growing stronger every day and I’m actually afraid of her now!!! 

**NotYourSugarBaby** : but on a serious note

**NotYourSugarBaby** : why are you crying though sweet pea???? Do I need to come back to Alola and kick some ass only a Champion could do???? 

**PrinceBabey** : no, but thanks for making me chuckle

**PrinceBabey** : I’ve talk to y’all about Serena right? 

**It’sCalledFashion** : duly noted 

**OhGoddessAbove** : yeah you did sweetheart 

**PrinceBabey** : well she’s here in Alola and tried to corner me off while I with Professor Kukui and also while I was sick 

**It’sCalledFashion** : why were you out of the house if you were sick???? 

**PrinceBabey** : Some medicine doesn’t work on me and Alola has a lot of variation so I had to come along because the main Pokémon Center in Melemele doesn’t have the one I use so we have to find the next best thing 

**PrinceBabey** : anyways I was in the store and then in walks Serena, I’m not ashamed to say that I hid like a five year old behind Kukui, but worst of all she walks in with viren 

**It’sCalledFashion** : Mr. Greedy Creep?? 

**PrinceBabey** : Mr. Greedy Creep 

**It’sCalledFashion** : Ash 

**PrinceBabey** : it gets worse 

**PrinceBabey** : they’re both actually talking to each other when Serena spotted me in the medicine isle and darts over to me with a glint in her eyes

**PrinceBabey** : Thank the gods that Kukui kinda just slid up in Front of me with the most customer service smile that’s I’ve ever seen 

**PrinceBabey** : and yeah, apparently Serena wanted to punch me but the power of our Fatherly Kukui™ stopped her from doing so 

**OhGoddessAbove** :  _ she wanted to punch you?!?!?  _

**BotYourSugarBaby** :  **that’s not something to go light about Ash**

**PrinceBabey** : hhhhh  _ I Know  _

**PrinceBabey** : but i've been near in tears for an hour now and Torracat is also squishing my lungs by laying on top of me

**PrinceBabey** : aaaand here come Fatherly Kukui™ with that good DayQuil that will knock my ass flat out 

**PrinceBabey** : bye y’all 

User  **PrinceBabey** has left the chat  **Champion Kingdom**

—

Group chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

User  **HelpMePls** has changed the name  **RingOfFire** ’s name to  **FatherlyKukui**

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_I_ **

**HelpMePls** : your welcome dear 

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ thanks!?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason why this isn’t longer than normal is because I was hit by cold weather and my allergies decided to be a bitch. So I wasn’t able to be creative enough to make this longer, but next chapter will be longer


	18. Villain name change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The villains literally change their names in this chat so I’m not going to name them off until next time. 
> 
> AshesToAshes: Ash 
> 
> Gay: Gary 
> 
> FatherlyKukui: Professor Kukui

Group chat: **L.O.V.E M.U.F.F.I.N**

**Lysandre** : we need nicknames 

**Giovanni** :  _ absolutely not  _

**Faba** :  **_YES_ **

**Ghetsis** : WHATS A NICK NAME??? 

**Giovanni** :  **_no one tell him_ **

**Ghetsis** : I WANT TO KNOW WHAT A NICK NAME IS!!!!! 

**Giovanni** :  **_if you value your life, you won’t fucking tell him_ **

**Mod Cyrus** has changed their name to  **SaintCyrus** !

**Giovanni** :  **_CYRUS_ **

**SaintCyrus** : I didn’t tell that tagged fool 

**SaintCyrus** : and it’s also what my Admins gave me on our Galactic chat so I thought it was fitting 

**Giovanni** : ** >:| **

**SaintCyrus** : please? 

**Giovanni** : … 

**Giovanni** : I’ll let it pass 

**SaintCyrus** : Thank you 

**Lysandre** : I thought you were an evil leader? Not a goody-two-shoes 

**SaintCyrus** : I’m an emotionless leader. But my grandma didn’t raise her grandson without at least An amount of manners

**SaintCyrus** : unlike whoever raised you’re ass 

**Lysandre** :  _ THOSE ARE FIGHTING WORDS  _

**Ghetsis** : FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!!

**Giovanni** : I can see why Maximus and Archie left 

**Faba** : you brought us together

**Faba** : you get to deal with all of us 

**Giovanni** : I still don’t see the need for nicknames

**Lysandre** :  _ it’s for fun???  _

**Giovanni** :  _ ew.  _ **_Disgusting_ **

**Lysandre** :  _ now that’s quite  _ **_rude_ **

User  **Faba** has changed their name to  **BigMeanGreenMachine** !

User  **Lysandre** has changed  **BigMeanGreenMachine** ’s name to  **FabaIsATwink** !

**FabaIsATwink** :  **_EXCUSE YOU_ **

**Mod** **SaintCyrus** has locked **FabaIsATwink** ’s name in the chat! They can no longer change their name until **Mod** allows it! 

**FabaIsATwink** :  **_THIS IS OPPRESSION AS ITS FINEST_ **

**Giovanni** : alright I have to admit that was funny 

**Mod SaintCyrus** has changed  **Mod Giovanni** 's name to  **Boss** ! 

**Boss** : if your going to do this can you at least make it more accurate for me!! 

**Mod SaintCyrus** has changed  **Mod Boss** ’s name to  **BigBoss** ! 

**BigBoss** : now that’s better! 

**Mod SaintCyrus** has changed user  **Ghetsis** ’s name to  **OldFool**

**Mod SaintCyrus** has locked  **OldFool** ’s name in the chat! They can no longer change their name until  **Mod** allows it! 

**OldFool** : HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT!?!?!? 

**OldFool** : AND HOW DO I CHANGE MY NAME!?!? THIS IS NOT MY NAME AT ALL!!!! 

**Mod SaintCyrus** has changed user  **Lysandre** ’s name to  **FireFurry**

**FireFurry** :  _ wait what  _

**Mod SaintCyrus** has locked  **FireFurry** ’s name in the chat! They can no longer change their name until  **Mod** allows it! 

**FireFurry** :  **_E X C U S E. Y O U._ **

**SaintCyrus** : I’m going to take a nap bye 

**FireFurry** :  **_WAIT NO_ **

**Mod SaintCyrus** has logged off the chat  **L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N**

**FireFurry** :  **_YOU_ **

**FireFurry** :  **_F U C K E R_ **

**BigBoss** : I take back my words fully 

**BigBoss** : this is an enjoyment to watch 

**FireFurry** : @ **BigBoss** i'm coming for you next once I’m done with Cyrus and the pool 

**BigBoss** : I can’t wait to see you get taken down by a man less than half your size 

**FireFurry** : fuck you and I hope your youngest bastard accidentally spills a slushy on you while talking with actual friends 

User  **FireFurry** has logged out of the chat  **L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N**

**BigBoss** :  _ OH NOW IT’S ON YOU FUCKING PYROAR FUCKER  _

**Mod BigBoss** has logged out of the chat  **L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N**

**Mod SaintCyrus** has entered the chat  **L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N**

**SaintCyrus** : are they gone? 

**FabaIsATwink** : oh

**FabaIsATwink** : yeah 

**OldFool** : HOW TO I EXIT OUT OF THIS CHAT??? 

**FabaIsATwink** : click your home button then hit the button that powers off your phone 

**OldFool** : THANK YOU PEASANT! 

User  **OldFool** has left the chat  **L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N**

**FabaIsATwink** :  **_y’all rude as shit_ **

**SaintCyrus** : that’s what you get for joining up with us 

**FabaIsATwink** : can I get a refund for new friends??? 

**SaintCyrus** : no. We’re not friends, we’re colleagues 

**Mod SaintCyrus** has logged out of the cha  **L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N**

**FabaIsATwink** :  **_Tapu! Alright_ **

User  **FabaIsATwink** has logged out of the chat  **L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N**

—

Group chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**AshesToAshes** : do y’all ever experience one or both your nostrils vibrating from your voice because your sick and you just blew your nose out into a tissue? 

**Gay** : that’s  **weirdly** pacific

**AshesToAshes** :  **_but have you??_ **

**Gay** :  _ lmao no  _

**FatherlyKukui** : Ash I swear to  _ all _ the Tapus go back to bed before I come up there

**AshesToAshes** :  **_AIGHT, AIGHT_ **

**Mod AshesToAshes** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s short and tiny but I can’t really do much about it since I’m sick and I accidentally took DayQuil and NightQuil an hour apart on accident and I’m experiencing things


	19. Agent Looker? Why are you in the GC?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AshesToAshes: Ash   
> NothersAshes: Delia   
> DragonMaster: Lance   
> GarchompMAX: Cynthia   
> BidFool: Alder   
> WhiteEmpress: Diantha   
> HelpMePls: Wallace   
> Agent Looker   
> Lusamine   
> SupremeEdge: Gladion  
> Gay: Gary   
> Land: Lana  
> FoodForThought: Mallow   
> WelaFire: Kiawe   
> ElectricSN: Sophocles   
> RockDad: Brock   
> WaterMom: Misty   
> SketchMe: Tracey   
> FatherlyKukui: Professor Kukui  
> DTF: May   
> Maxie   
> PirateBoxers: Archie

Group chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**SupremeEdge** : So uh @ **AshesToAshes** My mother is trying to force Lillie into adding her to our group chat and she’s guilt tripping her and making her cry for standing up to herself 

**Mod AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**AshesToAshes** :  _ excuse me  _

**AshesToAshes** :  **_WHAT NOW!?!?!_ **

**SupremeEdge** : she said if she’s not added then she’ll smash Lillie’s phone, pull her out of the Pokémon School, lock her inside the Estate, and take away Snowy and Clefabal and never let her see her friends and Pokémon in general again

**FoodForThought** : is she really starting this shit again!?!? We had to fight so hard to keep her in our class!! 

**Land** :  _ THIS IS UTTER FUCKING NONSENSE  _

**WelaFire** :  _ why now???? She could have done this earlier or even at the beginning!?!?  _

**ElectricSN** : this is just Horrible!!!! Class would never be the same without Lillie and Snowy!!! And she’ll never be able to see us again!!!! 

**SupremeEdge** : @ **FoodForThought** sadly she is, mother is actually making Lillie cry all the while berating her over not being able to look through all of her social media’s and how disappointed that her “ _ sweet little princess is not obeying the house rules and becoming such a dirty commoner”  _

**SupremeEdge** : I kid you fucking not. That was an actual sentence she told Lillie while she was sobbing and I can’t fucking do **_anything_ ** about it since I was locked in my room for shouting back at another but Hobbs let me out to go watch over them.

**AshesToAshe:** **_WELL THAT SHIT WILL NOT STAND IN THIS HOUSEHOLD_ **

**AshesToAshes** : send me her chat number privately and I will 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ but you messaged me instead of our Fatherly Lord Kukui™ so I  _ **_WILL_ ** _ be more hellish  _

**SupremeEdge** : what if something goes wrong!?

**AshesToAshes** : she’s just asking to be joined in chat. She didn’t say we couldn’t be our normal chaotic selves!!!! 

**Gay** : I feel like this is a bad idea 

**Mod AshesToAshes** has added Lusamine to the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Gay** :  _ I Feel Like This Is A Bad Idea  _

User  **Lusamine** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Gay** :  **_I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A BAD IDEA_ **

**Lusamine** : Just by the Chat name I can already tell this is bad for Lillie 

**SupremeEdge** :  **_Ash!!!_ **

**AshesToAshes** :  **_ssssshhhhhh_ **

**AshesToAshes** : @ **Lusamine**

**AshesToAshes** :  _ welcome to Applebee’s, would you like to order apple’s or bee’s?  _

**Lusamine** : that’s an idiotic question Ashton 

**Lusamine** : and this is how you greet a parent of a friend? How Disrespectfully at its highest degree! I am Lillie’s parent and I deserve respect!

**Lusamine** : And don’t think I found out about you drinking and smoking!!! I bet your mother is highly disappointed in you for doing this while she’s not in Alola!

**Lusamine** : I have a half of a good mind of holding you down and pour tabasco sauce in your mouth and then clean it out with cold water and soap. 

**Lusamine** : children these days don’t know how to respect adult authority. 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ you shouldn’t have said that _

**Gay:** _you shouldn’t have said that_

**RockDad** :  _ you shouldn’t have said that _

**WaterMom** :  _ you shouldn’t have said that  _

**SketchMe** :  _ you shouldn’t have said that _

**Mod MothersAshes** has entered the chat **Champion Machine Broke™** _look alive the Goddess is coming!_

**Gay** :  _ it hasn’t even been five minutes, and even the fucking chat itself knows hell is coming and no one can stop it _

**MothersAshes** :  _ you listen here Miss Lusamine. I don’t care who you are or how important your job is And You can parent your kids _

**MothersAshes** :  **_but that doesn’t not give you the right to do or try anything you just threatened to MY CHILD_ **

**MothersAshes** :  **_Which I will remind you, that you have NO authority over. That your are NOT his guardian at this time, and therefore NOT allowed to dull out such HARSH punishment for something that was just a JOKE_ **

**MothersAshes** : I take back my words about you parenting your own way. I am absolutely  _ shocked _ and  **_disgusted_ ** as a fellow mother to even  _ think _ you would do such a  _ thing _ to your own  _ children _ , humans that you’ve raised and should  _ love  _ and  _ protect  _

**MothersAshes** : and look back at the text you just seem to be a horrible human being! You can’t force your way into every aspect of your child’s life! That’s for them to decide, not you! And do you know how mentally damaging to a kid!? You’ll completely stunt her growth in her brain if you just lock her up like some kind of prized heirloom!!!

**FatherlyKukui** : and what you just threatened Ash with and what you’re doing now to your kids is considered a type of domestic abuse 

**FatherlyKukui:** _ so if you get even  _ **_near_ ** _ my Boarder so help me you will be buried under all the lawsuits that will be thrown your way and don’t you dare think for a second that when Burnet gets news of this she’ll have no problem helping to do so _

**Lusamine** : with what army? My PR would destroy you all! 

**Lusamine:** it also isn’t that hard to buy off Officials and get you all arrested for something giant 

**DragonMaster** : but that’s not going to work with the Regional League for trying to abuse a champion, secondary or not 

**Lusamine** : and who are you to say it won’t!? 

**DragonMaster** : Lance Champion of Kanto and Johto **not** at your service 

**SupremeEdge** : can we all just calm down please??? 

**WhiteEmpress** : I agree with Gladion, we shouldn’t be arguing on a chat so full of people 

**Lusamine** : I feel like this is just some stupid little prank. Your not really Champion Lance and this is all just a stupid ruse so you all can dirty Lillie even more! 

**SupremeEdge** : they really are the Regional Champions Mother, I promise! 

**Lusamine** : why would Champions be in this chat full of young kids? 

**AshesToAshes** : solely because of me 

**Lusamine** : and why would they acquaintance themselves to the likes of you!?

**DragonMaster** : I’m his uncle and he’s the Champion of Orange Islands. Making him secondary Champion to both Kanto and Johto at this time and under my “command chain” as the Orange Islands are still apart of Kanto’s league in part 

**HelpMePls** : he saved Hoenn when our government was shut down while switching Championships between me and Steven Stone and faced  **_Elemental Gods head on without fear_ **

**GarchomMAX** : he helped me take down the evil team Galactic along with also saving our region when most of our police sections were down and locked inside their own fucking buildings. I’m also dating his wonderful, fear inducing mom

**WhiteEmpress** : Ash was, I dare say, the biggest key part of saving Kalos and that young man risked his life for a Region he had never been in since that year. I too in a relationship which his mom that could shake the world with her voice alone 

**BidFool** : also saved my Region as well, multiple times in fact. And has stopped Team Rocket alongside Shutting down Team Plasma. 

**Lusamine** : I still don’t believe you all!!! 

**FatherlyKukui™** : well you know me Lusamine 

**FatherlyKukui™** : And you’re also going to get to know the international police and G-men since you’re hiding Faba’s involvement with several evil gangs across the world and threatening a Champion that is also a student of the Pokémon league 

**Lusamine** : you won’t actually be able to stick anything on me!!! And how do you know that Faba actually talking to other villains??? 

**FatherlyKukui™** : _he’s registered on the international “switch out” list_ _since the incident with Nebby changing League Officials, Judges, And Alola’s three Kahunas were called in_

**FatherlyKukui™** : you remember when your work was swarmed by so many police officers? They required legal documents and wavers by Alola’s Kahunas and the regional League to bug all you and your workers computers and devices 

**FatherlyKukui™** :  _ Burnet was even there when you were told this  _

**Lusamine** : okay, fine. But that still doesn’t mean you can get any wretched accusations stuck on me!! 

**FatherlyKukui™** : _oh?_ _I can’t?_

**Lusamine** : what in the actual fuck??? I just got a call from someone named Agent Looker??? 

**Mod MothersAshes** has added  **Agent Looker** in the chat Champion Machine Broke™ 

**Mod MothersAshe** has added user  **Agent Looker** to the mod list! 

**Mod Agent Looker** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Agent Looker** : and if you actually answered your phone you would known, miss Lusamine, that you and Faba are under arrest for helping crime lords, disturb the peace, verbal harassment, along with verbal and physical child abuse 

**Lusamine** : what in the hell??? I never physically abused my children!? 

**Agent Looker** : your Butler Hobbs tells a different story, and we’re inclined to believe him since he has video evidence of the abuse of both, in the Region of Alola, adolescents Miss Lillie and Mr. Gladion 

**Lusamine** : ha, this is just a bluff! There’s no police here on my grounds! 

**Agent Looker** :  _ why would we put innocent lives at risk?  _

**Lusamine** : WAIT WHA 

User  **Lusamine** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**FatherlyKukui™** :  **_you don’t get to fucking harass and verbally abuse my students. Parents or not_ **

**MothersAshes** : what’s most important are the kids safety. @ **SupremeEdge** are you okay over there?

**SupremeEdge** : Lillie’s scared and refuses to go back into the estate house. A SWAT member had to go grab Snowy and Clefable from her room and bring them outside. She hasn’t stopped crying and Mother crushes her phone before SWAT came in 

**MothersAshes** : thats fucking  **_it_ **

**MothersAshes** : @ **Agent Looker** I want to become their legal guardian, or even a foster mom at  **_least_ **

**MothersAshes** : Lillie will  _ not  _ be taken from her school and her brothers and friends, she will  _ not  _ be put into foster care in a different Region because I will do  **_everything_ ** that I can to keep her in Alola 

**MothersAshes** : Gladion will also not be split from his sister  **_or so help me the gods will part with their ethereal souls and there will be nothing to stop my wrath_ ** , he will be treated fairly for his age and  _ not  _ like he is years older than his time  _ or  _ years younger than he actually is because he is not an adult under the Alolan age laws, and if I find he was put into foster care that is not mine their  _ will  _ be  **_hell_ **

**MothersAshes** : no matter what Lusamine pushed into their minds, they  _ need  _ help from someone who cares and loves them like a real mother  **_should_ ** . And since I have already stepped up as a replacement mother for well over half the chat I will gladly put them as my legal family 

**Agent Looker** : I’ll try my hardest Delia, and my boss Anabel will try her best as well to see that both Lillie and Gladion will be treated fairly and we both know that you’ll probably be the best choice since it’s well recorded in both the League and IPF that you have mother henned all current Champions and whatever Gym leader Ash brings back home 

**MothersAshes** : excuse you, Ash only brought four gym leaders home,  _ I’m  _ the one you should be referring to 

**Agent Looker** : and this is why Nanu refuses to unblock you on here and let you nag at him to take better care of himself and responsibility since you’re the only one besides Acerola. And the only reason he hasn’t with her is because she  _ lives there _

**MothersAshes** : that old fool is reaching his late fucking seventies and Acerola is still in her young twetnties while also watching over orphaned children and keeping the Library up to regulations. That old man will die of swallowing to much dust and Meowth fur unless  _ someone  _ steps in and do something about it 

**MothersAshes** : and I’m already really close to just fly to Ula’ula and treat him like the toddler he’s acting because I swear to Arceus that man refuses to do jack shit besides the basic necessities 

**MothersAshes** : also Ash dear, it would probably be in the best interest that you head over to Gladion and Lillie 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ already halfway there _

**Mod AshesToAshes** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Agent Looker** : Delia, I’m actually being 100% serious right now, you scare the shit out of the higher ups and the rest of the workers think your an actual human god

**MothersAshes** :  _ good _ . Fear me because I  _ will  _ care for you and force some  _ actual  _ coping mechanisims that are good instead of your colleagues fucking ‘not my division’ shit that they do. And pray that I don’t bring down some motherly wrath to the higher ups for giving so much fucking work to everyone 

**Agent Looker** : there’s an actual shrine that replaced the women’s bathroom in our “ _ cafeteria _ ” and no one knows where it came from and when it was removed most of our equipment stopped working Andrew HQ got hit with a massive snow storm in the middle of  _ July  _

**HelpMePls** : sorry to interrupt this wonderful conversation, but isn’t there something else you need to do Agent Looker? 

**Agent Looker** : ah yes

**Mod Agent Looker** has added User  **PirateBoxers** to the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Mod Agent Looker** has added User  **Maxie** to the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Agent Looker** : @ **Maxie**

**Agent Looker** : @ **PirateBoxers**

**Agent Looker** :  **_behave or you both will cost me my job_ **

**Mod Agent Looker** has logged out of the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**PirateBoxer** :  _ who _

**PirateBoxers** :  _ what _

**PirateBoxers** :  _ when _

**MothersAshes** : …. 

**PirateBoxers** :  _ I’ve been on here for a total of three seconds and I’m already scared for my life  _

**MothersAshes** :  **_Good_ **

**PirateBoxers** : I don’t even know who you are??? Yet you fill me with so much fear??? 

**PirateBoxers** : And also the need for a good home cook meal **but that’s besides the point**

**MothersAshes** : your name is a dead give away Archie. And your pick for the color of your wetsuit is absolutely dreadful 

**PirateBoxers** :  _ only one person would say that  _

**PirateBoxers** :  **_D e l i a_ **

**DTF** :  _ WAIT DO YOU MEAN FUCKING  _

**DTF** :  _ ARCHIE THE DUDE WITH THE BIG FUCKING DUMBASS ANCHOR NECKLACE!?!!?  _

**DTF** :  _ AS IN THAT ARCHIE  _

**DTF** :  _ ARCHIE _

**DTF** :  _ THE OLD LEADER OF TEAM AQUA  _

**DTF** :  _ THE MAN WITH THE MOST FAKE ASS ANIME STYLED MUSCLES  _

**DTF** :  _ AND WAS ALMOST CONSTANTLY HALF NAKED _

**DTF** :  **THAT ARCHIE!!?!!??!!**

**PirateBoxers** :  _ yeah  _

**DTF** : your beard looks weird as fuck 

**PirateBoxers:**

**PirateBoxers** : of all things 

**PirateBoxers** :  _ out of all the things I've done. You pick  _

**PirateBoxers** :  **_my fucking beard_ **

**DTF** : you probably look better with it shaven tbh 

User **Maxie** has entered the chat **Champion** **Machine** **Broke™**

User  **Maxie** has sent Files  **BabyFace** to the GC 

**PirateBoxers** :  _ my own hermit husband came on just to send this vial thing  _

**PirateBoxers** :  **_Thanks Boo_ **

**DTF** : I retract my words

**PirateBoxers** : rude 

**DTF** : Max gagged 

**PirateBoxers** :  _ Mood  _ but also  **_Rude_ **

**MothersAshes** : I didn’t know that you and Maxie finally married!! 

**PirateBoxers** : What do you mean  **finally** !?

**MothersAshes** : weren’t you two dating in high school?? 

**PirateBoxers** :  **_N O!?!?!? Why would you think that????_ **

**MothersAshes** : you guys literally cuddled constantly during Government club and kissed each other on your faces daily??? 

**PirateBoxers** :  _ You fool, that was best friend platonic affection  _

**MothersAshes** : which turned out with you two marrying 

**PirateBoxers** : And this is why Maxie refuses to come onto the chat 

**MothersAshes** : I can’t believe you forgot his chat trigger 

**MothersAshes** : @ **Maxie** Twink 

User  **Maxie** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Maxie** :  _ excuse you  _

User  **Maxie** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**PirateBoxers** : huh 

**DTF** : Hey yeah, by the way 

**DTF** :  **_WHATS GOING ON HERE????_ **

**HelpMePls** : the regional league was able to arrest Archie and Maximus, as both were actually willing to come into custody, and they’ve been off patrol for that last year and a half and the Hoenn league thought it would be best to put them in this chat 

**DTF** : with the people that they hurt???? 

**PirateBoxers** : Delia, Maxie won’t admit this,  **_your son kicked my ass and the teams ass’s good_ **

**PirateBoxers** : And also @ **DTF** @ **RockDad** I’m sorry that you got swept up into the middle of everything and as I look back now and see how idiotic I was being and you don’t deserve to forgive me in anyway unless you want to and are comfortable in doing so, I will not push you too since it is not my place 

**PirateBoxers** : And from what I’ve seen on the news and how often Ash comes on, you raised an awesome kid Delia and I’m sorry that I tried to hurt him

**MothersAshes** : I appreciate the apology, but my son is the one you need to face 

**PirateBoxers** : ever the mother 

**MothersAshes** : the high school athletes and student club members didn’t fear me for nothing 

**PirateBoxers** : I still laugh at that to this day 

**MothersAshes** : I have earned my respect in that school in under two years by hard dedication, stock of blanket and pillows, and my sharp tongue 

**PirateBoxers** :  _ yes you have and it still lives on to this day  _

**Mod AshesToAshes** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™** _ look alive! The Chosen One has entered!  _

**AshesToAshes** :  **_…_ **

**Gay:** _ not again  _

**AshesToAshes** : yeah, hey 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK!?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcanon that all the evil leaders (except Ghetsis) along with Delia went to the same high school and since Delia was the residential Mom friend of the school everyone knew her and she wasn’t really hard to forget, but on the flip side she only remembers only a small chunk out of her old high school friends


	20. I’m Sorry Baby, Please Puppy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AshesToAshes+PrinceBabey: Ash  
> RockDad: Brock  
> WaterMom: Misty  
> Gay: Gary  
> Sketchme: Tracey  
> DTF: May  
> Con.King: Drew  
> Con.Queen: Dawn  
> FlameLesbian: Zoey  
> WhyAmIAlive: Paul  
> Drgon: Iris  
> GreenDay: Cilan  
> Electricnerd: Clemont  
> TrueKalosQueen: Shauna  
> TrueTrueKalosQ: Miette  
> sQurtile: Tierno  
> FuCk™: Trevor  
> GreenNMean: Sawyer  
> MegaDragon: Alain  
> Chespie#1: Mairin  
> AtMyBest: Nini  
> RushingRiver: Lana  
> WelaFire: Kiawe  
> ElectricSN: Sophocles  
> FoodForThought: Mallow  
> Rotom: Rotom  
> Run: Barry  
> StopMePls: Bianca  
> @Me: Stephen  
> Don't@Me: Cameron  
> Ritchie:Ritchie  
> GarchompMAX: Cynthia  
> BidFool: Alder  
> DragonMaster; Lance  
> SStone: Steven  
> HelpMePLS: Wallace  
> WhiteEmpress: Diantha  
> QueenElsa: Lorelei  
> ProfSamuel: Prof Oak  
> Prof.Kukui+FatherlyKukui: Kukui  
> Prof.Burnet  
> Prof.Colress  
> K.Hala  
> K.Olivia  
> K.Nanu  
> K.Hapu  
> HoundDoom: Malva  
> Agent Looker   
> PirateBoxers: Archie   
> Maxie   
> Silver   
> GreenViridian  
> ButterMeUp: Gold   
> BlueMe   
> AuraBuggy: Riley   
> GhostMeMaybe: Acerola

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is maturity shit for a good half of this

Group chat:  **Alola Officials**

**K.Olivia** : @ **Prof.Kukui** _so about that group chat Gary mentioned last week_

**Prof.Kukui** :  **I would appreciate it if we didn’t go there**

**K.Olivia** : why are YOU in it and I’M not??? 

**K.Hala** : I am also interested in what’s going on in that chat 

**Prof.Kukui** :  **_Chaos_ **

**Prof.Colress** : sounds festive

**Prof.Colress** : I’m in 

**K.Olivia** : I need to get in touch with the younger trainers!!! And what’s the best way then to be in a chat with your class??? 

**Prof.Kukui** :  _ it’s not just my class Olivia and I didn’t ask to be added to it  _

**K.Olivia** :  **THAT’S EVEN BETTER!!!**

**Prof.Burnet** : I also wouldn’t mind being added if it’s no harm, Your class are very sweet to be around 

**K.Hapu** : I also!!!! They were actually really fun when they came to Poni Island and I would like to see what other fiends ash have 

**Prof.Kukui** :  **_oh Tapu_ ** \- Do you seriously want me to add you all to the chat!?

**K.Nanu** : eh, what do I have to lose? It also would be great if you added Acerola too if you have her number since you must be a Mod in there 

**Prof.Kukui** : Acerola is actually in the chat, she just keeps herself invisible and just ghost’s it 

**K.Nanu** : that’s not normal of her

**Prof.Kukui** :  **_just a warning you brought this all on yourself, you can’t blame me if it goes to shit_ **

—

Group chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

  
  


**Mod FatherlyKukui™** has entered the chat **Champion Machine Broke™** _lets get our freaky on!_

**Mod FatherlyKukui™** has added  **User’s** to the chat! 

**User’s** entered the chat! 

**WhyAmIAlive** : idc Ash I’m taking all my flannels back when I get to Alola in a week 

**AshesToAshes** : nooooo!!!!!

**WhyAmIAlive** :  **_Ash_ **

**WhyAmIAlive** :  _ you somehow sneaked off with half of my flannels when you came to visit me two years ago and I just fucking noticed you little shit  _

**WhyAmIAlive** :  **_that’s 20 (twenty) fucking flannels Ash_ **

**Con.Queen** : why the fuck do you have 20 flannels Paul??? 

**WhyAmIAlive** :  _ I used to have 40  _

**WhyAmIAlive** : and their hella comfy 

**AshesToAshes** : that’s why I stole them 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_;-;_ **

**WhyAmIAlive** :  _ ash _ ,  **_babe_ ** ,  _ don’t do this to me  _

**AshesToAshes** :  **_; - ;_ **

**WhyAmIAlive** :  **_A s h_ **

**WhyAmIAlive** : I can buy you some and mail them over, Arceus! 

**AshesToAshes** :  **_but then they won’t smell like you ;-;_ **

User  **FlameLesbian** has sent Files  **PrinceBabey** to the GC 

User  **Con.Queen** has sent Files  **PastelCrowns** to the GC 

**WhyAmIAlive** :  **_YOU TWO AREN’T HELPING RIGHT NOW_ **

**FlameLesbian** : that’s the point, let the Babey Clothes Thief keep the flannels! 

**Con.Queen** : but look how cute he is!!! With your flannel and those pastel flower crowns!!! If I was Wasn't in a relationship with Zoey I would have stolen him years ago 

**Mod AshesToAshes** has sent a  **Voice Message** to the GC 

over  **Half the Chat** has saved Flies  **PrinceBabey** and  **FlowerCrowns** to their phones! 

over  **Half The Chat** has listened to  **Mod AshesToAshes** ’s  **Voice Message** ! 

over **Half the Chat** has saved **Mod** **AshesToAshes** ’s **Voice Message** to their phone! 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ half the cha _

**AshesToAshes** :  **_SHIT THIS ISN'T THE RATED R CHAT_ **

**AshesToAshes** :  **_F U C K. M E._ **

**DragonMaster** : **I just woke up from a nap and I wasn’t ready for ash’s message and those pictures holy SHIT**

**Drgon** : I have found my new religion 

**GreenDay** : same 

**TrueKalosQueen** :  **If I wasn’t a Lesbian, I swear**

**TrueTrueKalosQ** :  _ same  _

**Agent Look** : Anabel’s sitting in front of me and I wasn’t paying attention to the chat holy shit 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_I don’t need this_ **

**MegaDragon** :  _ Marin I’m so sorry  _

**Chespie#1** :  **_does it look like I’m in a position to blame you??? We’re cuddling and we opened it at the same time_ **

**BidFool** : I WAS IN A FUCKING MEETING AND I JUST OPENED THE MESSAGE AT FULL VOLUME 

**GarchompMAX** : I’m cryinb, hily shot

**GarchompMAX** : President Goodshow fuckein heard ash’s sexual voice and he looks so  **_distraught, confused, and so disappointed and he doesn’t know it’s Ash_ **

**Con.King** :  _ Well I didn’t know it did that  _

**GreenNMean** :  _ I  _

**ElecticSN** : what does it say. I refuse to actually open it since I’m at a restaurant with my parents 

**Gay** : @ **ElectricSN** the message says “ **_I’m sorry baby. Please puppy?_ ** _ ”  _

**Land** :  _ o h  _

**Land** : …

User  **Land** has saved  **Mod AshesToAshes** ’s  **Voice Message** to their phone! 

**AshesToAshes** :  _ LANA _

**Mod GhostMeMaybe** has pinned the first message to the  **Board** ! It can’t be taken down unless the Mod who pinned it takes it down!  **_Let's hope it’s not too embarrassing!_ **

**AshesToAshes** :  **_A C E R O L A_ **

**GhostMeMaybe** :  _ that’s the name of the game Ash  _

**GhostMeMaybe** :  **_get Named and Blamed_ **

**GhostMeMaybe** :  _ there's a  _ **_reason_ ** _ why I made an R+ chat for you freaky people _

**GhostMeMaybe** :  **_USE IT_ **

**Mod MothersAshes** has changed  **Mod AshesToAshes** ’s name to  **PrinceBabey**

**Mod MothersAshes** has locked  **Mod PrinceBabey** ’s name in the chat! They can no longer change that name until the fellow  **Mod** allows it! 

**PrinceBabey** : EVEN MY OWN  **_M O T H E R_ **

**MothersAshes** : but you look so cute in those photos Ash! My favorite is the trans and Pan Colored ones!!! 

**MothersAshes** : I might get Alexa or Tracey to print it out For me so I can bang it up next to your elementary graduation photo with Mr.Mimey and the team at the Sunflower Park!!!! 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_I’m_ **

**Mod PrinceBabey** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**FlameLesbian** : @ **WhyAmIAlive** _how you feel??_

**WhyAmIAlive** :  **_DontMessageMeForAFewHoursBye_ **

User **WhyAmIAlive** has left the chat **Champion Machine Broke™** _Don’t over exhaust yourself!_

**RockDad** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**WaterMom** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Gay** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Sketchme** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**DTF** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Con.King** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Con.Queen** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**FlameLesbian** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Drgon** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**GreenDay** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Electricnerd** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**TrueKalosQueen** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**sQurtile** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**FuCk™** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**GreenNMean** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**MegaDragon** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Chespie#1** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**AtMyBest** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Land** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**WelaFire** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**TooPure** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**ElectricSn** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**FoodForThought** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**SupremeEdge** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Rotom** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Run** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**StopMePls** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**@Me** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Don't@Me** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Ritchie** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**GarchompMAX** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**BidFool** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**DragonMaster** :* _ eyes emoji* _

**SStone** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**HelpMePLS** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**WhiteEmpress** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**QueenElsa** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**ProfSamuel** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**FatherlyKukui™** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**HoundDoom** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Agent Looker** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**PirateBoxers** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Maxie** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**Silver** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**GreenViridian** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**ButterMeUp** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**BlueMe** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**AuraBuggy** : * _ eyes emoji* _

**GhostMeMaybe** :  **_Nasty Fuckers_ **

**K.Hala** : huh. it really is chaos in here 

**WelaFire** :  **_WHEN DID THE KAHUNAS JOIN_ **

**Land** : well  **_F U C K_ **

**FoodForThought** :  _ oh no  _

User **ElectricSN** has logged out of the chat **Champion Machine Broke™** _Don’t be too hasty now!_

**K.Olivia** : how do you do kiddos!!! 

WelaFire:  _ oh no  _

**K.Olivia** : tell me, do y’all still do the whip and neenee??? 

**WelaFire** :  **_oh no_ **

**FoodForThought** :  _ oh no  _

**Land** :  _ oh no  _

**K.Olivia** : well then!! >:| 

**K.Nanu** : Olivia you so behind on your memes 

**K.Nanu** : it’s all about depression now 

**K.Olivia** : well you would know all about that then! > : | 

**K.Nanu** : damn right 

**MothersAshes** : ….

**K.Nanu** :  **_WAIT FUCK I KNOW THAT NAME_ **

K.Nanu:  **_LIKE HELL I’M STAYING IN THIS CHAT IF SHE’S HERE_ **

User K.Nanu has Permanently left the chat Champion Machine Broke™  _ see you soon!  _

MothersAshes:  **_> :) _ **

Mod Mother’s has added K.Nanu to the chat!  _ Back so soon?  _

K.Nanu:  _ leave me alone you devil woman  _

MothersAshes:  **_: )_ **

K.Nanu:  **_hhhhhhh_ **

K.Nanu:  _ what will it take you to leave me the fuck  _ **_alone_ **

MothersAshes: clean yourself up for once and stop constantly eating Meowth hair for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and go see a fucking therapist you old coot 

Agent Looker: I’m with Delia 

K.Nanu:  **_I’m being betrayed_ **

Agent Looker:  **_no_ ** , your getting Mother henned 

Agent Looker: there’s a difference,  **_I would know_ **

K.Nanu: you the devil women Delia 

MothersAshes: Only if it means you get healthy then 

**K.Olivia** : huh 

**K.Hala** : Huh 

**Prof.Burnet** : Huh 

**Prof.Colress** : Huh 

**Drgon** : wait 

**Drgon** :  _ IS THAT  _

**Drgon** :  **_COLRESS_ **

Prof.Colress: wait. Shit


	21. Gotta get rid of the whole sister now

Group chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**PrinceBabey** : I’m gone 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_for 4 hours_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_AND SOMEHOW THE KAHUNAS AND SOMEHOW_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_FUCKIN. C O L R E S S IN IN HERE NOW_ **

**PrinceBabey** : and how TF does my mom know Kahuna Nanu?!?!? 

**MothersAshes** : @ **Agent Looker** _did you not tell him in Unova?_

**PrinceBabey** : tell me what??? 

**Agent Looker** :  **I have no idea what your talking about Delia**

**MothersAshes** :  _ looker ista  _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ is _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_is looker my dad?_ **

**MothersAshes** :  **_OH H E A V E N S NO_ **

**Agent Looker** :  _ incest is illigal Ash  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_…_ **

**PrinceBabey** : excuse me 

**PrinceBabey:** **_W H A T_ **

**Drgon** :  _ this is like a Sinnoh Soap opera and I’m here for this  _

**GreenDay** :  _ IRIS _ It’s not the  **_TIME_ **

**MothersAshes** : agent looker is my cousin along with Unova’s gym leader Drayden on my moms side 

**PrinceBabey** : _GymLeaderDrayden_ **_W H A T_**

**MothersAshes** : my mother’s sister didn’t really stay in contact so you have a lot of family members that even I don’t know about. The only reason why I know about Drayden is because of Looker actively seeking me out because of your father 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ oh  _ **_h i m_ **

**PrinceBabey** : I’m adding him to the family chat and @ **MothersAshes** WE need to do one of those DNA test things and see who else is in this forsaken family 

**MothersAshes** : please don’t add him 

**Agent Looker** :  _ add him please  _

**MothersAshes** : why in heavens do you want to annoy the man Looker? 

**Agent Looker** :  **_he’s my older brother. It’s my duty Delia_ **

**Agent Looker** :  **_my DUTY_ **

**MothersAshes** : fine! Add him then! But I’m not dealing with the aftermath 

**PrinceBabey** : that’s fair 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has left the chat!  _ Good luck out there!  _

**Gay** : I’m scared that the chat’s messages are changing and it’s slowly becoming sentient 

—

Group chat:  **Ugly isn’t a gene Lance, you’re born with it**

**Mod BabyGod** has entered the chat  **Ugly isn’t a gene Lance, you’re born with it**

**Mod BabyGod** has added  **LeaderDrayden** to the chat  **Ugly isn’t a gene Lance, you’re born with it**

User  **LeaderDrayden** has entered  **Ugly isn’t a gene Lance, you’re born with it**

**LeaderDrayden** :  **_what in the fresh hell is this_ **

**Agent Looker** :  _ it’s hell asshole  _

**BabyGod** : so apparently you and Looker are my uncles??? 

**LeaderDrayden** :  _ and who the fuck are you  _

**BabyGod** : one of Delia’s children 

**LeaderDrayden** :  _ ah  _

**LeaderDrayden** :  **_so there’s no escaping her clutches then_ **

**TheGoodBaby** : I’m so confused rn 

**BabyGod** : just read the OG chat 

**LeaderDrayden** :  _ wait there’s another one?  _

**Agent Looker** :  **twice as big as this one**

**LeaderDrayden** : please don’t add me to that one 

**BabyGod** : duly noted 

**LeaderDrayden** : wait, how much is it filled with children??? 

**BabyGod** : bold of you to assume she doesn’t see everyone as children 

**LeaderDrayden** :  _ that’s fair  _

**LeaderDrayden** : but still 

**BabyGod** : at least ⅔ I think??? 

**GhostBaby** : more like ⅖ 

**BabyGod** : oh okay 

**LeaderDrayden** : how many nicknames have baby on this chat 

**BabyGod** : theirs me, Acerola, Lillie, Gladion, Gary, Daisy, Red, Green, Silver, Blue, and Gold 

**BabyGod** : or the ones that are the most consistent with this chat since everyone’s so busy 

**LeaderDrayden** : ah, so her clutch grew since last family reunion 

**BabyGod** : elaborate please?? 

**LeaderDrayden** : from how much Alder talks about you, you must be Ash 

**BabyGod** : Ye that’s Me 

**LeaderDrayden** : Red was 10 and about to head out on his first Journey, Silver was 8 and you were on the cusp of turning 5 if I remember correctly 

**BabyGod** : ah,  _ those times  _

**LeaderDrayden** : I’m scared and I’m not going to ask 

**BabyGhost** : good choice 

**BabyGod** : I’m going back, I haven't gotten the answers I came for

**Mod BabyGod** has left the chat  **Ugly isn’t a gene Lance, you’re born with it**

—

Group chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Mod PrinceBabey** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Drgon** : I’m serious, who TF can you not tell him that ghost peppers would burn his taste buds off??? 

**@Me** : _ I say a chance and I took it  _

**PrinceBabey** : so in other news 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ how TF does my mom know Kahuna Nanu  _

**K.Nanu** : I was in the International Police force and was training Looker and Anabel for my splitting position since I was retiring to look after Acerola and I was claimed as Kahuna for some reason by Tapu Bulu 

**K.Nanu** : and then we had to go to Kanto to question her about Giovanni and she’s been a leach in my side until I originally blocked her old number 

**MothersAshes** :  **_and now I’m back_ **

**K.Nanu** : and now she’s back 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_…_ **

**Mod PinceBaby** has changed  **K.Nanu** ’s name to  **UnkieWunkiNanu** ! 

**UnkieWunkiwNanu** :  _ I didn’t ask for this  _

**Mod MothersAshes** has locked in **UnkieWunkieNanu** ’s name in the chat! The name can’t be changed until the **corresponding** **Mod** allows it! 

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  **_I didn’t ask for this_ **

**GhostMeMaybe** : Ash out here doing  **_god's WORK_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  _ I usually do  _

**K.Hala** : is that why your cleaning Lunala while Solgaleo’s sleeping with most of your team laying on top it? 

**PrinceBabey** : WHERE ARE YOU 

User  **K.Hala** has sent File  **Here** To the GC 

**PrinceBabey** : oh didn’t notice you 

**FlameLesbian** : @ **WhyAmIAlive** @ **MegaDragon** look at this 

**MegaDragon** :  _ Mairin’s cackling at me  _

**MegaDragon** :  **_stop it Zoey_ **

**WhyAmIAlive** : *eyes emoji* 

User  **WhyAmIAlive** and  **MegaDragon** saved the File  **Here** to their phones! 

**GhostMeMaybe** :  **_hey_ **

**GhostMeMaybe** :  **_you nasty fucks_ **

**GhostMeMaybe** :  **_take it to the R Rated chat_ **

**FlameLesbian** : what??? I’m only bringing the picture to their attention???? 

**FlameLesbian** : I’m doing nothing wrong! 

**GhostMeMaybe** :  _ this time  _

**PrinceBabey** : yeah okay 

**PrinceBabey** : not even going to question that anymore 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ but why is Colress in here  _

**Prof.Burnet** : do you need help grooming Lunala Ash? 

**FatherlyKukui** : yeah! I didn’t even notice you when I was coming inside! 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_stop swerving my questions_ **

**PirateBoxers** : why don’t you just ask him? 

**PrinceBabey** : laziness and I still have a small amount of fear surprisingly because he was the only scientist that got Pikachu under control enough to actually harm me in some way before I got through 

**PirateBoxers** : oh, I’ll ask him off the chat then for you 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ you’ll do that?  _

**PirateBoxers** : you saved me from Kyogre when I was frozen with fear

**PrinceBabey** : … 

**PrinceBabey** : thanks Archie 

**PirateBoxers** : no problem kid 

User  **PirateBoxers** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

—

Private chat:  **QQ**

**Archigens** : hey Col 

**Colress** : ? 

**Archigens** : ash is asking how you got onto the chat 

**Colress** : Kukui and Olivia's persistent pushing 

**Archigens** : aight thank you 

**Colress** : you’re welcome 

—

Group chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

User  **PirateBoxers** has entered the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**PirateBoxers** : Kukui and Olivias persistent pushing 

**PrinceBabey** : @ **FatherlyKukui** @ **Prof.Burnet** Meet me outside Rn 

**Prof.Burnet** :  _ busy _

**PrinceBabey** : understandable 

**PrinceBabey** : @ **FatherlyKukui** come face your punishment 

**FatherlyKukui** : why me!?!?!? I’m busy 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ that won’t stand because I know your down in your lab watching Pokémon fails  _

**FatherlyKukui** : Burnets on her phone!!! 

**K.Olivia** : she’s talking to Wicke because I’m helping her transfer Pokémon under their care to other regions help centers and protection ranches 

**FatherlyKukui** : okay fair 

**PrinceBabey** : you have five second before I send Lycanroc and Pikachu in and they will cause  _ chaos™  _

**RockDad** : he’ll hold that threat Through Professor 

**RockDad** : Onix still hasn’t forgiven Pikachu for that one time 

**PrinceBabey** : that’s fair 

**PrinceBabey** : P R O F E S S O R 

**PrinceBabey** : K U K U I 

User  **K.Hala** has sent Video  **HeYell** to the GC 

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ I can hear him from downstairs along with Burnets cackling  _

**K.Hala** : I actually believe both Lunala and Solgaleo are actually laughing right now 

**PrinceBabey** : I’m not, Solgaleo is still a baby technically even though it’s evolved 

**K.Hala** : I still don’t believe it 

**PrinceBabey** : you don’t need to believe it when it’s true and we have actually hard proof evidence Kahuna Hala 

**K.Hala** : that is true 

**DragonMaster** : in other news 

**DragonMaster** : I can’t find my cape with the dark blue underlayer 

**DragonMaster** :  _ Ash  _

**PrinceBabey** : Excuse you

**PrinceBabey** :  _ how dare you assume  _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ I have your bright pastel blue  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **not your dark blue one**

**DragonMaster** : Im sorry 

**DragonMaster** : but you’re our residential clothes thief you tiny bastard 

**PrinceBabey** : I’m a clothes thief yes 

**PrinceBabey** : but I only go for shit that y’all don’t really wear that much 

**WhyAmIAlive** :  _ My Flannels  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_I stole twenty out of your 40 that you bought_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_adding with your already existing flannels you have a whopping of_ **

**PrinceBabey** : **_57 FUCKING FLANNELS_ **

**WhyAmIAlive** :  _ their still my fucking flannels Ash _

**PrinceBabey** : that’s irrelevant now 

**DragonMaster** :  _ I still need my cap dudes  _

**BidFool** : is it silk instead of your normal Cotton? 

**DragonMaster** : yeah? 

**BidFool** : does it have a little Curled up sleeping Dragonite pin as the holder torque it around your neck? 

**DragonMaster** : …  _ yeah _ ? 

User  **BidFool** has sent Files  **LanceC** to the GC 

**BidFool** : you left it here when… 

[ **Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**GhostMeMaybe** : KEEP THAT SHIT PRIVATE

**DragonMaster** : well shit, guess I’ll have to wear my red and white one instead 

**MothersAshes** : I have your red and white cap Lance 

**DragonMaster** : how!?!? 

**MothersAshes** : An Associate of Giovanni’s spilled wine on my wedding dress and you let me use your cap to cover it for the rest of the night 

**DragonMaster** : you’ve had that for all these years!? 

**MothersAshes** : even got it dried cleaned and it’s hanging in my closet next to my dress 

**DragonMaster** : I’ll come ride my Dragonite since I still have a few hours 

**MothersAshes** : I’ll be waiting!

User  **DragonMaster** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Drgon** : I don’t think Ash ever stole something from me 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ because you're one of the few people I can’t actually steal from Iris  _

**Drgon** : how come??? 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ because you have nothing comfy to steal in the first place  _

**GreenDay** : that’s fair 

**PrinceBabey** : bullshit Cilain 

**PrinceBabey** : I stole a bow tie from you 

**GreenDay** : so  _ that’s  _ where my extra one went 

**PrinceBabey** : hehe 

**FoodForThought** : I haven’t seen you try and steal any of our clothes? 

**PrinceBabey** : again 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ y’all have nothing for me to steal _

**ElectricSN** : uh facts??? 

**PrinceBabey** : Kiawe’s half naked like 100% of the time I’m around him

**PrinceBabey** : Lana, Mallow, and Lillie are too narrowed frame and small expect Mallow but she has overalls on 

**PrinceBabey** : Sophocles doesn’t actually have any access clothes I can sneak off 

**PrinceBabey** : and the only one that I could steal something off of is Gladion and it’s his friken sweater which he NEVER takes off 

**SupremeEdge** :  _ s u f f e r  _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ I a m  _

**Land** : what about Hau and the Professors 

**PrinceBabey** : Hau made me a forest colored friendship bracelet for me so I count that as a ‘steal’ since he also doesn’t have access clothing 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ and bold of you to assume I haven’t already stolen something from both professors  _

**Prof.Burnet** : so that’s where my university sweater went 

**PrinceBabey** : but no, do you actually want that back? 

**Prof.Burnet** : nah, I can order a new one and I’ve actually been meaning too 

**FatherlyKukui** : what did you steal from me??? 

**PrinceBabey** : barely used lab coat 

**FatherlyKukui** : eh, thought you would go after my shirts 

**PrinceBabey** : 1) their in your room and I don’t usually go in there if I don’t know that I have free reign 2) I wouldn’t even know where to look because you rarely use them 

**DTF** : what have you actually stolen from everyone 

**PrinceBabey** : I hate how everyone is using the word  _ stolen  _

**DTF** :  _ taken  _ then 

**PrinceBabey** : LMAO give me a minute then 

**PrinceBabey** : from order through my journeys 

**PrinceBabey** : Brock - multiple sweaters, shirts, and sweatpants. Misty - scrunches and like 2 shorts that are more like bitty short to me. Lance - Several of his cap’s he doesn’t use often. Gary - his whole entire closet is mine 

**PrinceBabey** : Tracey - like 2 shirts and a pair of sandals. Ritchie and me swap a shit load of clothes constantly that I couldn’t keep track of if you asked. Drake - I have one of his stupid best things and a pair of leather gloves 

**PrinceBabey** : May - water bottle and an oversized sweater. Never really did anything with Max since he was Babey back then. Steven - 3 coats and 1 undershirt. Never even bothered with Wallace

**PrinceBabey** : Dawn - scarves and 2 hats. Zoey - jackets. Barry - scarves and mittens. and I’ve just recently started taking Paul’s clothes the most. Cynthia - 2 full winter coats that drag on the ground because I’m small 

**WhyAmIAlive** :  **_why me of all people_ **

**PrinceBabey** : because you’re now the tallest and biggest person in the group

**PrinceBabey** :  **_prime subject for taking clothes_ **

**PrinceBabey** : nothing from Iris. Cilan - bow tie and a pair of shitty cuff links at most. Bianca - hats??? She kind of took mine and gave me hers until the next time we saw each other and my Pokémon  _ did not like that™ _ . Stephen - shirts and a pair of gloves. Cameron - 2 of his work out headbands. Alder - 2 ponchos that Cynthia accidentally sent me instead of him 

**PrinceBabey** : not so Surprisingly I have a pair of semi good cufflinks from Burgundy and a pair of gloves from Georgia because I think she got jealous of Burgundy actually giving me a pair of cufflinks to beat Cilans pair that I took that she just shoved them into my hands???

**PrinceBabey** : even though their like 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ several  _ sizes too small for me 

**PrinceBabey** : Alex - a pair of earbuds. Clemont - a pair of Goggles and a sleeping shirt. Serena - tried switching hats but it freaked Pikachu out to much so we had to switch them back. Bonnie - Several small hairs ties.

**PrinceBabey** : Korrina - one wristband that’s the twin to the one she wears with her mega stone. Sawyer - 1 orange ascot thingy. Shauna - 1 sole sock that somehow found its way into my bag idk where it came from but it was the same color she usually wears so I just chalked it up to her. Terino - 1 scrunchie. Trevor - a body vest thing? Idk what to call it, shirt without sleeves. 

**PrinceBabey** : Miette - a glittery hairbrush. Nini - chapstick that she technically bought me. Alain - 2 coats, 3 oversized sweaters, pair of gloves, 1 matching scarf. 

**PrinceBabey** : Mairin - 1 hat that I kept and I bought her a matching one of mine. Diantha - a pair of wings and several of her fuzzy socks and a pair of heels that made too much noise in mom’s house, especially at 3 AM. 

**PrinceBabey** : I’ve also taken at least 1 lab coat from Professor Ivy, Juniper, Birch, and several from Professor Sycamore and a few of his undershirts that I thought were Alain’s until like three days before I left for Alola because Greninja was sent back over to from staying at his lab for a week and Greninja smelled like the Professor and I matched it up to the shirt I was actually wearing at the time

**ElectricSN** : That’s like at least 40 things excluding Paul’s flannels 

**PrinceBabey** : I actually keep everything I take and don’t share it with people unless I have too so Ritchie has a lot of my clothing while I usually wear what I buy in that region and what other article of clothing I've taken from everyone else. 

**PrinceBabey** : I’m coming after Uncle Looker and Drayden next though 

**Agent Looker** : I can just...

**Agent Looker** :  _ give you a jacket that I don’t use?????  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_it's not the same_ **

**Agent Looker** :  _ how is it not the same????  _

**PrinceBabey** : I found out after Middle school and after my first Journey with Brock and Misty I felt kinda… 

**PrinceBabey** : void??? Especially after the start of my Journey. I didn’t have a lot of constants around and I was used to all the attention - negative attention really - from my teachers and other students I would get day to day

**PrinceBabey** : so when Brock offered me the first shirt after I got soaked because me and Pikachu didn’t get along at the time and the mouse shocked me and then tripped me into a shallow river and then Misty offered to dry my hair and pull it up and out of my face with a scrunchie i kinda experienced the same feeling I get when Green or Red would read me a bedtime story or when I used to play with Gary and he wasn’t mean

**PrinceBabey** : and it happens again but Gary was the one to push me into a deeper river and my pants got soaked, but I never had anyone really stand up to bullies for me and I think my brain connected that it was okay to take their clothes or something but the next time I took Brocks shirt he just laughed and ruffled my hair 

**PrinceBabey** : so then my Brain did another connecting being: taking clothes = positive attention

**MothersAshes** : oh ash… __

**PrinceBabey** :  **_O A K AY_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_that got heavy_ **

**MothersAshes** : Ash

**PrinceBabey** : we need something chaotic 

**MothersAshes** :  _ Ash  _

**Mod Agent Looker** has added  **LeaderDrayden** to the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

User  **LeaderDrayden** has entered the chat!  _ Oh no here they come!  _

**LeaderDrayden** :  **_L O O K E R_ **

**Agent Looker** :  **_gotta play by the rules_ **

**Agent Looker** : anyone in the family chat is added onto the OG chat 

**Agent Looker** : and since you  _ are  _ my big brother...

**Drgon** :  _ iansHMANSSN1$:$18!7  _

user  **Drgon** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**GreenDay** :  **I’M**

**LeaderDrayden** : at least there aren’t other gym leaders in this chat 

**WaterMom** : Mist, Kantos water Gym Leader 

**ElectricNerd** : Clemont, Kalos Electric Gym Leader 

**LeaderDrayden** : …  _ fuck  _

**GreenDay** : … 

**LeaderDrayden** : wait…  _ don’t tell me  _

**GreenDay** : Cilan, one out of three Unova’s triplets gym leaders 

**GreenDay** : reporting for duty

**GreenDay** :  _ sir  _

**LeaderDrayden** :  **_FUCK_ **

**BidFool** : look at it this way Drayden! At least you’ll finally have something bringing you some kind of joy in your life! 

**LeaderDrayden** :  _ there’s only one man who comments on my life style  _

**LeaderDrayden** : good morning Alder 

**BidFool** : good morning my old friend! How has your morning gone so far? 

**LeaderDrayden** : it could be better 

**GreenDay** : Leader Drayden, Champion Alder. Sir’s, we’re in a meeting with Wallace and Delia 

**LeaderDrayden** : and?? I’ve seen you across the table text this forsaken chat??? Why can’t I? 

**Mod MothersAshes** has changed  **LeaderDrayden** ’s name to  **IceTypesAreBest** ! 

**Mod MothersAshes** has locked in  **IceTypesAreBest** ’s name into the chat! It can no longer be changed until the  **corresponding Mod** allows it! 

**MothersAshes** :  _ my chat  _

**MothersAshes** :  **_My Children_ **

**IceTypesAreBest** : … 

User  **IceTypesAreBest** has logged out of the chat!  _ Ouch, do you need some ice for that scalding?  _

**MothersAshes** :  _ that’s right  _

**MothersAshes** :  **_Run_ **

**GreenDay** : ah.. thank you Delia 

**MothersAshes** : oh! Don’t mention it at all sweetheart! But I would start paying attention to the meeting your in! 

**GreenDay** : oh! Thank you again! 

User  **GreenDay** has left the chat!  _ Rock on!  _

**Z** :  _ this chat is becoming as sentient as Mewtwo  _

**MegaDragon** :  **_WHAT THE FUCK IS A MEWTWO!?!?!?_ **

**ElectricNerd** : @ **MegaStone** I’m asking them 

**MegaStone** : don’t ask them Clemont 

**ElectricNerd** : to bad 

**ElectricNerd** : hey, how can I convince Bonnie to stop posting fucking Minions on her PokéBook wall, it’s driving me and dad insane 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** :  _ hhhh idk bro  _

**Con.King** : have you tried turning her off and then back on again? 

**DTF** :  _ have you tried _ \- SHES A CHILD DREW 

**RockDad** : Drew What the actually fuck 

**Ritchie** : even  _ I’m  _ not that dumb 

**Con.King** : stop giving me flack!!! I’m a spoiled only child 

**RockDad** : at least he admits he’s spoiled 

**DTF** : I’ve been teaching him the rugged way 

**Con.King** : HEY

**Con.King** : May we’re cuddling,  _ I will tickle you  _

**DTF** :  **not if you value your nostril hairs you won’t**

**ElectricNerd** :  _ guys focus  _

**ElectricNerd** : she literally has like over 200 minion relatable pictures 

**FlameLesbian** :  _ Damn  _

**FlameLesbian** :  _ you gotta throw the whole entire sister out now _

**FlameLesbian** : she’s too far gone mate

**Con.Queen** : * _ eyes emoji _ * what a  _ shame  _

**FlameLesbian** : I liked her too, but 200 minion pictures 

**FlameLesbian** :  _ Nah Son  _

**ElectricNerd** : dad said no throwing her out 

**ElectricNerd** : sadly 

**FlameLesbian** :  _ s a d l y  _

**ElectricNerd** : any more suggestions??? 

**ElectricSN** : hack her account and delete them all??? 

**ElectricSN** : it’s pretty easy???

**ElectricNerd** :  _ tried that before and it’s  _ **_not_ ** _ worth the three hour lecture from my dad about privacy while she re uploaded  _

**ElectricNerd** :  **_Every. Single. One._ **

**ElectricNerd** : New Suggestions 

**RockDad** : do the trick I did to Ash 

**ElectricNerd** :  _ which is  _

**RockDad** : I told him that Team Rocket has all the Minion pictures virused up to hell and they could enter his phone and get into everyone else's accounts and find out their important details and he practically deleted his whole PokéBook account 

**ElectricNerd** :  **_THAT'S ABSOLUTELY GENIUS_ **

**RockDad** : I would warn your dad before hand our wait when he goes out because if she’s like and AND younger she’ll definitely cry a lot 

**ElectricNerd** :  **_I’LL TAKE IT_ **

User  **ElectricNerd** has left the chat!  _ Good luck out there!  _

**MegaDragon** : hi yes 

**MegaDragon** :  _ can my question not be swerved next time  _

**Gay** : what question? 

**MegaDragond** **_I feel like Jim I’m the Office_**

**DTF** : now don’t be so dramatic! 

**MegaDragon** :  **_…_ **


	22. Lets Get High

Group chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**PrinceBabey** :  **_Do you ever just want to yeet yourself into the bottom of the ocean so Kyogre can shred you?_ **

**WaterMom** : hi yes, 

**WaterMom** :  _ what the fuck  _

**GreenDay** : Ash are you okay? 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ so Sophocles accidentally got high _

**FoodForThought** : “ **_accidentally_ ** ” got high 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_ASH_ **

**MothersAshes** : Ash 

**RockDad** :  _ Ash  _

**Agent** **Looker** : **Ash**

**WaterMom** :  _ Ash  _

**MegaStone** : Ash 

**SStone** :  _ Ash  _

**WhiteEmpress** :  **_Ash_ **

**GarchompMAX** : **A s h**

**DragonMaster** : ASH 

**BidFool** :  **Ash**

**PrinceBabey** :  _ lmao it’s actually  _ **_Kiawes_ ** _ fault this time around so stop pointing your mother fucking fingers  _ **_please_ **

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_what happened!?!?_ **

**PrinceBabey** : Sophocles got hit by Mallows new Comfey when it was battling Torracat 

**FatherlyKukui** : need a  _ little more  _ detail Ash 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ I was getting there!  _

**PrinceBabey** : so Torracat spun out Comfey and the Pokémon flew to where Lillie, Lana, Sophocles, and Kiawe who was on his phone showing his baby sisters newborn pictures again 

**WelaFire** :  _ IM SORRY  _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ Perish _ ****

**PrinceBabey** : so Kiawe caught Comfey by reflex but the Pokémon cried suddenly because it was just recently hatched from an egg Mallows dad found abandoned and it scared everyone so Kiawe’s reaction 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ WAS TO FLING IT AT SOPHOCLES FACE  _

**WelaFire** :  _ ;-;  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_tuff fuckin’ luck_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_that shit don’t work on me_ **

**PrinceBabey** : so Comfey gave off some kind of powder thing and I think it’s supposed to 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ “ _ **_Stun_ ** _ ”  _

**PrinceBabey** : the attacker and make it where their essential reduced to a metaphorical puddle so Comfey could get away to safety 

**FoodForThought** : but since Humans are different in a lot of ways to Pokémon. Sophocles essentially

**FoodForThought** :  _ well he’s  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **He’s high**

**PrinceBabey** :  _ Sophocles is High as a kite Mallow  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_say it like it is_ **

**UnkieWunkieNanu** : how do you know the signs of someone that’s high Ash? 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ I’ve traveled around the world since I was 10 and I fully believe Wallace is high 90% of the time  _

**SStone** : I mean 

**SStone** :  _ Wallace doesn’t smoke, but your also not wrong  _

**HelpMePls** :  **_S H U T_ **

**PrinceBabey** : and I think I stated this earlier on in the chat that I’ve picked up smoking but that’s like 

**PrinceBabey** : a  **_RARE_ ** thing 

**PrinceBabey** : Like 1 whole pack last me a journey if it doesn’t get damaged along the way which ends up being 99.93% of the time 

**PrinceBabey** : but that’s besinsnsnqnwb1&37:!$8’a

**Mod PrinceBabey** has left the chat!  _ Hope everything is well!  _

**Gay** :  _ im so done with this chat I STA  _

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ What’s happening!?!?!  _ **_Where are you guys!?!?_ **

**Land** : Soph’ has  **_LAUNCHED™_ ** for Ash’s phone so he tossed it across the clearing and I think it shattered on a boulder 

**TooPure** : We’re actually in the hills by the Pokémon school Professor! 

**Land** : Ash and Soph’ are tumbling about and Soph won’t stop giggling 

**Land** :  _ Sophocles you dumbass _ -Ash 

**FoodForThought** : this isn’t the time Lana!!! 

**Land** :  _ yes it is _

**Land** :  **_Sophocles has nothing on on Ash, Mallow_ **

**Land** : have you seen him lift Torracat up so easily??? And that’s one  **_THICC™_ ** Pokémon for its evolution. It easily has to weigh 25.0 kg at  _ least  _

**Land** : he constantly has Rowlet in his bag and that’s 1.5 Kg in his backpack along with his school materials and other shit 

**Land** : and look 

User  **Land** has sent Files  **Finally** to the GC 

**Land** :  _ I swear to all Tapus Sophocles, stop wiggling or I’ll shave your already nonexistent eyebrows and pluck your toe hairs  _ -Ash 

**Land** : Sophocles won’t stop giggling and now we think he was hit with essentially laughing gas for humans 

**Land** : Kiawe is no help as he got the tail end of the powder and he can’t get his breath back enough to help with this shit 

**Drgon** : im serious 

**Drgon** :  _ ash’s life is like a drama opera and I’m so for it  _

**GreenDay** : IRIS 

**GreenDay** : I will bring Georgia on here 

**Drgon** :  _ you can’t do  _ **_jack shit_ ** _ you lanky green bean  _

**GreenDay** : try me and I’ll ask our residential Chat Mom™ 

**MothersAshes** : oh is there another friend of Ash’s that isn’t apart of this chat?? 

**GreenDay** : more like an acquaintance actually 

**Drgon** :  _ more like a nuisance  _

**Land** : Chat Dad™ has finally arrived with Burnet and Colress and the man  **_lifted_ ** Ash of Sophocles without even asking and gave the child over to Colress

**TooPure** : Ash hissed at Colress like a pissed off and the man immediately moped out and dropped Ash onto the ground and offered to help a hysterically laughing Kiawe up instead 

**Land** : Ash looks so disgusted and I think he’s going to chuck Colress off the cliff 

**Drgon** : yeet the Explorer man, Yeet The Explorer Man,  _ YEET the EXPLORER Man,  _ **_YEET THE EXPLORER MAN_ **

**GreenDay** : I agree with Iris for once 

**GreenDay** :  **_Y e e t. T h e. B a s t a r d. M a n._ **

**Drgon** :  **_YEET HIM. YEET HIM. YEET HIM._ **

**FatherlyKukui** : no one is chucking anyone 

**Land** :  _ you ruin all the fun Professor _ \- Ash 

**FatherlyKukui** : that’s my job as a guardian 

**Land** :  _ you might be able to stop me _ \- Ash 

**Land** :  **_BUT YOU CAN’T STOP TAPU KOKO_ ** \- Ash 

**Land** : Tapu Koko just came out of nowhere and body checked Colress into the river 

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  _ why the fuck does the kid know when Tapu Koko was coming??? What the fuck!?!?  _

**Land** :  _ it makes a high pitch cutiefly noise _ \- Ash 

**K.Hala** : never heard Tapu Koko make that noise before 

**Land** :  _ idk, I might be special then _ \- Ash 

**RockDad** : high chance 

**WaterMom** : probably 

**K.Hala** : @ **FatherlyKukui** I worry for your boarder 

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ Don’t we all  _

**K.Hala** : is Professor Colress at least okay? 

**Prof.Burnet** : he’s soaked but he doesn’t have any electricitonics on him so it’s all good 

**Prof.Burnet** : and where TF did Tapu Koko go??

**Land** :  _ IDK _ \- Ash, who’s gotten picked up by Professor Kukui and chucked over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes 

**TooPure** : I have his phone and his chips okay but it’s completely smashed to pieces 

**Land** :  _ been meaning to get a new phone, how much does the new IPhone 11 cost? _ \- Ash 

**GreenDay** : around $999 dollars up front 

**Land** :  _ oh, so not much then _ \- Ash 

**Land** :  **_what phone did the boi have_ **

**TooPure** : iPhone 4,  _ and what do you mean by “ _ **_not too much_ ** _ ”?????  _

**TooPure** :  _ SO APPARENTLY ASH HAS MORE MONEY THAN THE AETHER PARADISE FUNDING  _

**Drgon** :  **_H O W_ **

**Land** : _Dying_ _for_ _Regions_ _sins_ _pays_ _well_ \- Ash 

**GreenDay** : iris, between you and Ash you could clean out our restaurant 

**GreenDay** : how do you think we got all those ingredients to make dinner and the likes??? 

**Drgon** : idk, never been good with money 

**DragonMaster** :  **_stop dying child_ **

**Land** :  _ stop paying me well then, bastard _ \- Ash 

**DragonMaster** :  _ your the only one that’s willing to do it  _

**DragonMaster** :  **_and actually gets the job done_ **

**Land** : _so you're admitting_ _that your G-Men suck? And can’t save shit?_ \- Ash 

**DragonMaster** : hey now

**GarchompMAX** : ash is right 

**DragonMaster** :  _ Hey Now  _

**Land** :  _ they can’t even tell who’s the bad guy or the good guy  _ \- Ash

**DragonMaster** :  _ HEY NOW  _

**MothersAshes** : your G-Men had arrested Ash over walking on the sidewalk with Pikachu on his shoulder instead of in its Poké Ball 

**DragonMaster** : … 

**DragonMaster** :  _ yeah okay, I’ll give you that  _

**Gay** : What is Lana even doing?

User  **FoodForThought** has sent Flies  **SaveKukui** to the GC

**Gay** :  **_OhMyGodAshLooksSoGrumpyIt’sSoCute_ **

**FatherlyKukui** : Save me indeed because  _ I’m _ the one who has to tell Sophocles parents about their child accidently getting high 

**TooPure** : they already know 

**FatherlyKukui** : you told them?

**TooPure** : yes, their meeting us at the Pokemon Centre and there will be a human doctor there as well 

**FatherlyKukui** : Thank the Tapu’s 

**Land** : Soph’ is still giggling like a maniace and Kiawe isn’t too far off, how are you typing Professor?

**FatherlyKukui** : I’m ambidextrous and Ash’s waist is  _ skinny _

**Land** :  _ well that’s just fucking rude  _ \- Ash 

**Land** : now Sophocles is chanting the word fuck and Kukui looks like he’s praying 

\--

**PrinceBabey** :  **_Guess who has a new phone_ **

**Gay** : So how is the new IPhone btw? Been meaning to look into it since I cracked my screen from tripping over Umbreon 

**PrinceBabey** : not much has changed besides the extra high definition camera and brighter flashlight 

**PrinceBabey** : I don’t like the ‘speed texting’ thing where you just swipe around though 

**Gay** : thats fair 

**DTF** :  _ the real question is how much money do you have in your trainer account!?!?! _

**Con.King** :  **May you don’t ask someone that**

**Con.Queen** : Say’s the rich boi 

**Con.King** :  **_That’s the exact point, only the extreme egotistical brag about their old money_ **

**PrinceBabey** : Last time I checked was in Kalos when i sent a lot over to mom and i think i was in the triple digits???? Its been a long time so i really don’t know 

**Con.King** : So like 

**Con.Kings** :  _ billions!?!? _

**PrinceBabey** : Ye 

**Con.King:** _but you look like a hobo tho_

**DTF** :  **_DREW_ **

**PrinceBabey** : Excuse U 

Mod  **PrinceBabey** has sent File  **ThisYours** to the GC 

**DTF** : oh thats where your hoodie went 

**Con.King** : @ **WhyAmIAlive** @ **MegaDragon** @ **Gay** i see the appeale now 

**Gay** : Shut The

**WhyAmIAlive** :  _ Fuck _

**MegaDragon** :  **_Up_ **

**Con.King** : ef4’2r7’c4  _ Alright _

**FatherlyKukui** : we just got back and I’m going to bed 

**PrinceBabey** : night 

**FatherlyKukui** : phone down at 12 or I’m taking it for the rest of the day 

**FatherlyKukui** : and this goes for everyone in my class 

User  **FatherlyKukui** has left the chat!  _ Look at that person go!  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_R U D E_ **

**Land** : he can’t really track us 

**FoodForThought** : but we’ll have to stay off the chat 

**ElectricSN** : I feel an emptiness 

**Land** : HE’S BACK 

**WelaFire** : headaches are no fun 

**PrinceBabey** : it’s called a quick withdrawal and don’t do that shit again or I’ll slap  **_both_ ** of you with the might of Lugia 

**WelaFire** : don’t you mean Arceus? 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ No  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_Lugia is scarier_ **

**PrinceBabey** : I’m going to bed now because Kukui conked my head on the Pokémon Center door by accident 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has left the chat!  _ Sleep well!  _

**Gay** : this chat still scares me how much it grows on its own everyday 


	23. Flannels pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something short and sweet as I crank out multiple chapters for other stories that I’ve been neglecting for too long, besides Alola Rain because I can’t figure out where to take the story but that’s besides the point.
> 
> Also! You all should read PaxDaune’s story “Split Parental Supervision” that was based on a line from Chapter 5!

Group chat:  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**DragonMaster** :  _ so I walked in to Delia crying  _

**DragonMaster** :  **_where’s her wife’s when we need them_ **

**WhiteEmpress** :  _ busy ;-;  _

**GarchompMAX** : Fuckin’ Busy running a region mate, wish I didn’t have to though 

**DragonMaster** :  _ NVM  _

**DragonMaster** : she’s crying over all the kids old baby photos 

**WhiteEmpress** :  _ wh  _

**WhiteEmpress** :  **_what_ **

**Mod** **MothersAshes** has entered the chat! _Here comes the water works!_

**GarchompMAX** : oh no 

**MothersAshes** :  **_;-; ;-; ;-;_ **

**WhiteEmpress** : Delia sweetheart are you okay? 

**MothersAshes** :  _ no and yes  _

**DragonMaster** : their old photos??? There’s nothing sentimental about them??? 

**MothersAshes** has sent Files  **ThinkAgain** to the GC 

**DragonMaster** :  **_I TAKE THAT BACK_ **

**WhiteEmpress** :  _ when in the world did you have a mullet!?!?!?!?  _

**DragonMaster** :  **_h h h h h h_ **

**MothersAshes** : when he first started his journey with a Pidgey because Professor Oak didn’t have any starter Pokémon because he slept in late

**ProfSamual** : it feels weird now that I’ve seen you and your boys off, and I’m about to see Tracey off in a week 

**MothersAshes** :  **_; - ;_ **

**DragonMaster** :  _ Delia  _

**MothersAshes** : I didn’t know my grandson was getting his first Pokemon in a week!?

**ProfSamual** : ah, I was the one to swing the date onto the boys. Tracey is 10 and a half so it’s high time he gets out of their house and into the world

**DragonMaster** : don’t let them hear you say that, you’ll have green on your ass

**ProfSamual** : both my grandson’s 

**ProfSamual** :  _ excluding Red _

**ProfSamual** : can’t do shit 

**MothersAshes** : That’s fair 

**MothersAshes** :  **_But_ **

**Mod MothersAshes** has sent Files  **PT+Ash** to the GC 

**MothersAshes** :  _ look at him  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_MoTHer I aM In ScHOol_ **

**MothersAshes** :  _ but look at you and Sunny with your matching sunflower bandanas  _

**MothersAshes** :  _ my baby got so big  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_MOTHER_ **

**MothersAshes** :  **_; - ; ; - ; ; - ;_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  _ m a m a  _

**Half the chat** has saved Files  **PT+Ash** to their phones! 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ okay first off  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_fuck you A L L_ **

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : but you look so cute in your little black leather jacket!!! 

**Con.Queen** : i can’t believe that a baby looks better than me 

**Gay** : fucking knew you were a photogenic bastard as a baby 

**PrinceBabey** : at least I didn’t barf into an open cut pumpkin 

**Gay** :  _ I was paying you a sour compliment  _

**Gay** :  **_you didn’t need to go that far you absolute dick_ **

**PrinceBabey** : your right

**MothersAshes** : to be fair he did puke on Giovanni’s Persians back at the time 

**Gay** :  **_Whua_ **

**MothersAshes** : poor Persian had it running down its back but went through the photo shoot like a champ until the last part where we finally found out about it 

**PrinceBabey** : that same Persian tried to maim me so I don’t regret it 

**FlameLesbian** : @ **MothersAshes** _do you have any more baby Ash_

**PrinceBabey** :  **_DON’T ASK HER THAT ZOEY_ **

**MothersAshes** : @ **FlameLesbian** **_Y E S_**

**PrinceBabey** :  **_M O T H E R_ **

**Mod FatherlyKukui** has entered the chat!  _ Uh oh watch out!  _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ w a i t. F u c k  _

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ Ash  _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ I’m sorry Professor  _

**FatherlyKukui** : we’re in class 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_we’re learning Unovian_ ** __

**FatherlyKukui** : well that’s fucking tuff for you 

**FatherlyKukui** : off your phone before it’s mine for the rest of the day

**FatherlyKukui** : and I mean 

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ the rest of the Day  _

**PrinceBabey** : bold of you to assume that I hold any emotional connection to my phone at  **_A L L_ **

**RockDad** :  _ he willingly chucked his fucking Nokia phone at several legendary Pokémon and objects before it smashed against Groudon chest  _

**DTF** :  **_Rest In Power Moves to the phone that took out Brawly and my dad_ **

**DTF** :  _ you are missed every second of every day  _

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_Arceus Fucking Tapu_ **

**FatherlyKukui** : just get off your phone until lunch Ash 

**PrinceBabey** : if I start screaming after school ends it’s your fault because I won’t be able to stop my mom 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_I’m willing to take that punishment, get off your fucking phone already_ **

**Mod PrinceBabey** as left the chat!  _ See you soon!  _

**Mod FatherlyKukui** has left the chat!  _ Hope you feel better!  _

**Gay** :  _ this chat is going to make me cry more than Mewtwo ever did  _

**MegaDragon** :  **_WTF IS A M E W T W O, SOMEONE TELL ME P L E A S E_ **

**FlameLesbian** : so @ **MothersAshes** _those pictures_

**MegaDragon** :  _ s t o p swerving my questions p l e a s e  _

**Mod MothersAshes** has sent Files  **Cutie** to the GC 

**Mod MothersAshes** has sent Videos  **Bloopers** to the GC 

**Mod MothersAshes** has sent Files  **FamilyPics** to the GC 

**MegaDragon** :  **_…_ **

—

**PrinceBabey** : I can’t believe my mom betrayed me 

**MothersAshes** : speaking of pictures! 

**MothersAshes** : I don’t have any of you, Lillie, and Gladion together 

**TooPure** : I’ll take some pictures later tonight since we’re eating together! 

**MothersAshes** : ❤️

**MothersAshes** : thank you sweetheart 

**TooPure** : you’re welcome!!!! 

**WhyAmIAlive** : anyways @ **PrinceBabey** I’m here 

**PrinceBabey** : you’re where? 

**WhyAmIAlive** : at the docks??? Where else would I be arriving into Alola?? 

**PrinceBabey** : arriving into Alo 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ SHIT  _

**WhyAmIAlive** : honestly not surprised it slipped your mind 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ because you didn’t give me a day heads up fucker, and now I’m racing home to change  _

**DTF** : why do you need to change??!?!? It’s just Paul??? 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_because I’m wearing one of his thinner flannels and I refuse to give it back_ **

**WhyAmIAlive** : give me them back Ash 

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**GhostMeMaybe** :  **_getting real tired of your bullshit Ash_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  _ try and fucking stop me Acerola  _

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ Arceus fuckin _

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message** ] 

**GhostMeMaybe** :  _ you can’t stop me Ash  _

**ElectricNerd** : he called Paul daddy 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ BUT CLEMONT CAN  _

User  **WhyAmIAlive** has left the chat  **Champion Machine Broke™**

**Mod PrinceBabey** has changed the chat name from  **Champion Machine Broke™** to  **Paul Machine Broke™**

**Mod PrinceBabey** has left the chat  **Paul Machine Broke™**

**Mod GhostMeMaybe** has pinned User  **ElectricNerd** ’s comment on the **Board** ! 

**GhostMeMaybe** :  _ Named and Blamed  _

**ElectricNerd** : my Bi ass don’t care, so you failed there 

**GhostMeMaybe** : shit 

**GhostMeMaybe** : beatened by another bisexual 

**ElectricNerd** : Ha Ha 

IceTypesAreBest: what even is this chat 

**Agent Looker** : I already told you 

**Agent Looker** : it’s hell 

**DTF** : i swear Mad is so annoying sometimes 

**PrinceBabey** : remember we’re the Glomp generation 

**DTF** : WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU COME BACK ON 

**PrinceBabey** : for me to know and for you to never find out 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ and now I have to leave because I was a big dumb idiot™ and switched out one of Paul’s flannel for another flannel that is also his  _


	24. Chonk Rock

Group chat:  **Paul Machine Broke™**

User  **Land** has opened  **voice message** ! 

_ “Your just homophobic! That’s why! _ ” 

“ _ Kid, I’m Trans and Pansexual, your preaching towards the god damn fucking choir! And how in the world is me directing my Pokémon in a League battle homophobic!? _ ” 

User  **Land** has stopped  **voice message** ! 

**Land** : so someone came from Orange Islands to challenge Ash since he’s the Champion 

**Land** :  _ and I swear Professor Kukui is going to jump the kid  _

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ she’s blaming Ash for literally 90% of her mistakes  _

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_how the ever loving fucking Tapu did she get this far_ **

**K.Hala** : PROFESSOR 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **YOU'RE STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO ME, YOU’RE SEEING HER SHIT!!!!** ! 

**K.Hala** : I know but still 

**K.Hala** : it’s inappropriate 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_W h a t. E v e r._ **

**HelpMePls** : seems like he’s living up to his nickname 

**FatherlyKukui** : shut it before I send Agatha your way 

**HelpMePls** : I’m higher than you on her Like List

**HelpMePls** :  _ you can’t do shit  _

**FatherlyKukui** : I’m her fifth favorite 

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ that means I’m higher than Lance  _

**DragonMaster** : how the fuck are you higher!?!? 

**FatherlyKukui** : apparently Ash ranted how good I was to her and how even though I can be a hard ass sometimes I genuinely care for him since he’s under my care 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_unlike some people_ **

**BidFool** : I feel like that comment was Aimed at Me 

**GarchompMAX** : highly likely 

**BidFool** :  _ Hey Now  _

**Land** : ANY HOW!!! 

**Land** : Ash has his Orange Island team and he’s been on Tauros since the beginning and has taken out ⅚ of the girls team 

**WelaFire** : I dearly wish he doesn’t bring his Tauros to our ranch 

**FoodForThought** :  _ wu  _

**FoodForThought** :  **_Why!?_ **

**WelaFire** : in case they start mating with the Tauros’ see have under our care. 

**FoodForThought** : that makes sense 

**Land** :  _ AND ASH WINS LADY AND GENTLEMEN!!! _

**WhyAmIAlive** : not surprised, he kicked my ass when he stopped by Sinnoh before going to Kalos with just his Pikachu against my Electivire

**WhyAmIAlive** : and I am genuinely afraid that Ash’s Tauros

**Con.Queen** : Perish 

**FlameLesbian** :  _ perish  _

**RockDad** :  **_P E R I S H_ **

**WhyAmIAlive** :  **_rude_ **

**DragonMaster** : @ **PrinceBabey** Ash 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has entered the chat!  _ Watch out y’all! _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ busy trying to lecture a 12 y/o that just called me fat when in fucking fact I’m under weight and also she just called me a fag.  _

**DragonMaster** :  **is her name Alexia Neviander and her partner is a Bulbasaur with a missing eye**

**PrinceBabey** : it’s a Venasuar now but yeah 

**DragonMaster** :  **she’s wanted for Pokémon Abuse and Physical Assault and Verbal Assault against multiple Trainers and Gym leaders**

**PrinceBabey** :  **_alright then_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_Brb y’all._ **

**K.Hala** : calling Officer Jenny right now 

User  **MeleJenny** has entered the chat!  _ Oh no here they come!  _

**K.Hala** :  _ wait what  _

**MeleJenny** : I’m already on my way

**PrinceBabey** :  **_thx u, already stopped her, think she has wep, stand off, bring BaUp_ **

**MeleJenny** : understood chief 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has left the chat!  _ Hope everything is well!  _

**K.Hala** :  _ why was she on the chat before I was  _

**MeleJenny** : because reasons I’ll explain later Kahuna 

User  **MeleJenny** has led the chat!  _ Let things be good!  _

**WelaFire** :  **_what’s happening I left early and I don’t know Ash’s text!?!!!?_ **

**FatherlyKukui** : shoot out style situation. Girl is trying to force Ash to hand over the Orange Ilsand title but since all her Pokémon are down she’s just running on words alone and she’s acting really strange so Ash thinks she has a gun or a weapon 

**FatherlyKukui** : her Pokémon are out of their balls but their cowering before Ash’s team, or more likely Charizard since it’s about at most ⅓ the sie of the school and back up is coming 

**WelaFire** : I’m coming back to help 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_IF YOU FUCKING DARE TURN YOUR CHARIZARD AROUND THERE WILL BE HELL AND I WILL PUT YOU IN AFTER SCHOOL DETENTION FOR SO FUCKING LONG YOU’LL BE IN THERE YEARS AFTER YOU GRADUATE_ **

**WelaFire** :  **_well damn A L R I G H T_ **

**MothersAshes** :  _ if something happens to my son there will be hell to pay  _

**DragonMaster** :  _ I’ll let you sue her for Ash along with the League for endangerment to league officials and other trainers and Probably alongside the Kahunas and Principal Oak for endangerment to over 100 students and other people  _

**MothersAshes** :  **_D E A L_ **

**Land** : currently crying with Lillie behind a pillar 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_Hala were the fuck are you_ **

**K.Hala** :  **_be still my keikikāne_ **

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_not your son_ **

**BidFool** : my heart is leaping for you all 

**DragonMaster** : I’m sending some of my G-Men rn alongside Bruno and Lorelei 

**MothersAshes** : be firm and direct with the G-men because they can’t do shit, But talk to Lorelei the most because Bruno doesn’t like talking a lot 

**DragonMaster** : sister I fucking love you to hell and back 

**MothersAshes** : that’s not very far 

**DragonMaster** :  **_but stop mothering my co-workers_ **

**MothersAshes** :  **_N e v e r_ **

—

**FatherlyKukui** : crisis averted, the school as been surrounded and Ash Andes up tackling her to the ground 

**MothersAshes** :  **_good_ **

**WhiteEmpress** : Delia is currently is in Kalos and has been pacing a meeting room for the past hour and half and now I’m tensed 

**MothersAshes** : I’m sorry love, I’m sorry to your workers too 

**WhiteEmpress** : the protective instinct knows no bound for a mother so it’s alright my love ❤️

**MothersAshes** :  _ hhh ❤️ _

**DTF** : @ **PrinceBabey** both your mothers are like a drunk couple on love 

**MothersAshes** : that because that’s the feeling you get when you truely love someone 

**DTF** : that’s so sweet, but it also feels like it was a backhanded comment 

**MothersAshes** : oh it was 

**DTF** :  **_WHU_ **

**Con.King** : wat 

**MothersAshes** : don’t worry about that 

**DTF** : IDK what to feel anymore 

**DTF** : I just had my love life flash before my eyes 

**Con.King** : you don’t  _ have  _ a love life besides me 

**DTF** : you sir are 

**DTF** :  **_WRONG_ **

**Con.King** : oh? Please impart me the knowledge you hold 

**DTF** : ash was my first 

**Con.King** :  _ kinda already guessed that tbh  _

**DTF** : huh aight 

**Con.King** : that about it? 

**DTF** :: Ye 

**Con.King** : alright, your my first gf tbh also 

**DTF** : kinda guessed that also 

**Con.King** : fair

**Mod PrinceBabey** has entered the chat!  _ Here they come!  _

**DTF** : THE SAVIOR HAS RETURNED!!!!!

**PrinceBabey** : the savior has a swollen black eye and slip bottom lip 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_let me at her_ **

**K.Hala** :  _ keikikāne p l e a s e calm down  _

**FatherlyKukui** :  **stop calling me son and I might**

**K.Hala** : really? 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_snowflake chance in hell_ **

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_she t h r e a t e n e d_ **

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_M Y. K I D._ **

**FatherlyKukui** : and yet she punch ash twice in the face before he knocked her ass flat the fuck out

**MegaStone** :  _ aren’t you supposed to be Alola’s Regional Professor  _

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_like you wouldn’t do the exact same if not more for your assistances, and you already did a tone of shit for Alain and Mairin_ **

**FatherlyKukui** : also he’s under my  **_Legal Care™_ ** because his mom  _ trusts  _ me so I have to be kinda more protective over him than my other students 

**FatherlyKukui** : Which DOESN’T MEAN I’m protective any less to all my other students 

**WelaFire** : *eyes emoji*

**FoodForThought** : *eyes emoji*

**ElectricSN** : *eyes emoji*

**Land** : *eyes emoji*

**TooPure** : *eyes emoji*

**SupremeEdge** : *eyes emoji*

**ElectricSN** : Gladion isn’t even in our class 

**SupremeEdge** : yet I can still call out your teachers bullshit 

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ I can’t believe my class+Gladion is bullying me  _

**K.Hala** : you and Guzma did the same to me 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_s h u t_ **

**PrinceBabey** : so Professor Kukui is just an older teenager that has a lot more responsibility, a younger adult to look after, and a wife 

**Prof.Burnet** : I’m not his wife 

**PrinceBabey** : didn’t he call you his wife earlier today? 

**Prof.Colress** : you’re practical like his wife 

**K.Olivia** : You’re practically life his wife 

**UnkieWunkieNanu** : you’re practically like his wife 

**Prof.Burnet** :  _ all of you  _

**Prof.Burnet** :  **_S H U T_ **

**PrinceBabey** : deviating to a different topic 

**PrinceBabey** : my pain pills don’t work :( 

**DTF** : keep forgetting Marijuana doesn’t work on you since Hoenn 

**PrinceBabey** : I’m reminded on every journey and yet I still forget 

**DTF** : lmao Arcues just wasn’t to see you suffer 

**PrinceBabey** : seems like it 

**PrinceBabey** : @ **WhyAmIAlive** if I send Pikachu and Torracat with you, can you get me ice cream? 

**WhyAmIAlive** : too slow, Kukui’s grabbing ice cream from the store on his way from the station 

**Drgon** : are you guys in the same room? 

**PrinceBabey** : I have our residential Human Pillow™ with me 

**PrinceBabey** : ofc we in the same room 

**Drgon** : then why are you in the same chat 

**WhyAmIAlive** : he’s going to no longer be on the chat because it’s 

**WhyAmIAlive** :  **_Nap Time™_ **

**WhyAmIAlive** : for his ass rn and I’m not afraid to call Torracat to lay on top of both of our ass’s 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has left the chat!  _ Nighty night!  _

**WhyAmIAlive** :  _ that’s what I thought  _

User  **WhyAmIAlive** has left the chat!  _ Sleep well!  _

**AuraBuggy** : in other news I’m about to throw a  **chonk** rock at Roark because he won’t stop talking about dirt clumps 

**RockDad** : don’t chuck the rock Riley 

**DTF** :  _ wtf is a chonk rock!?  _

User  **AuraBuggy** has sent Files  **Chonk** to the GC 

**DTF** : Well that’s one chonky clump of dirt 

**RockDad** : Riley you dumb fuck that’s not a fucking rock 

**AuraBuggy** :  _ let me just have this please _

**RockDad** :  **N O**

**AuraBuggy** :  **_Daddy please let me chuck the Chonk Rock_ **

**RockDad** : 2’wja287;! Ansmqljg w

User  **RockDad** has left the chat!  _ Let everything be alright! _

**DTF** :  _ holy fuck Riley just T’KOed Brocks ass holy shit holy shit holy shit  _

**AuraBuggy** : I live with Roark now and I am heavily invested into the hell speak 

**AuraBuggy** : ofc I would knock Brock out 

**K.Olivia** : what in the Tapu is hell speak??? 

**DTF** :  _ RILEY DONT RESPOND  _

**AuraBuggy** :  **_Hwwo my namywamy is Wilwy would Wou Wike to be my fwend???_ **

**K.Olivia** : … 

**K.Olivia** :  _ o h  _

**K.Olivia** :  **_O H_ **

**K.Hala** :  _ I _

**K.Hala** : _ I don’t know what’s on my screen and I’m genuinely scared  _

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  _ oh shit  _

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  **_not another one_ **

**Mod GhostMeMaybe** has entered the chat!  _ It just got funnier!  _

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  _ No, Acerola  _

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  **Don’t you fucking Dare**

**GhostMeMaybe** : … 

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  **_Acerola p l e a s e_ **

**AuraBuggy** :  _ owo new fwend _

**GhostMeMaybe** : !!!!!! 

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  **_ACEROLA PLEASE_ **

**GhostMeMaybe** :  **_FWEND!!!!!_ **

**AuraBuggy** :  **_F W E N D_ **

**GhostMeMaybe** : my namywamy is Wcerwola what’s Wours??? 

**AuraBuggy** : my Namywamy is Wilwy!!! 

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  **_Tapu Bulu can’t stop me from yeeting myself over a cliff anymore_ **

User  **UnkieWunkieNanu** has left the chat!  _ Don’t fall!  _

**GhostMeMaybe** : W A I T. S H I T 

**Mod GhostMeMaybe** has left the chat!  _ Let’s hope you catch up!  _

**Gay** :  _ what even  _ **_is_ ** _ this chat  _

**AuraBuggy** : back to our regularly scheduled program 

User  **AuraBuggy** has sent Video  **ItBeChucked** to the GC 

**AuraBuggy** :  **_IT HAS BEEN DONE AND NOW I'M RUNNING FASTER THAN SONIC EVEN WISH HE COULD!!!!!_ **

User  **AuraBuggy** has left the chat!  _ Look at them go!  _

**FatherlyKukui** : I’m so done, @ **Prof.Burnet** do you know where the whiskey is? 

**Prof.Burnet** : in the alcohol cabinet??? Where it always is???? 

**FatherlyKukui** : you hide it in one of my lab drawers because you thought I had a drinking problem 

**Mod FatherlyKukui** has left the chat!  _ Hope you feel better!  _

**Prof.Burnet** :  _ that’s a good point  _

**K.Olivia** : a wife would do that 

**Prof.Burnet** :  **_BOTH SHUT_ **

**Prof.Burnet** :  **_YOUR. F U C K S_ **


	25. The Power Of Aggressive Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guzma and Plumeria join!! Don’t worry, next chapter is going to expand on Guzma and Kukui as Ash faces down Tapu Koko in another chat

Group chat:  **Paul Machine Broke™**

**DTF** : that’s why Max is now banned from even being near peanut butter 

**RockDad** :  _ tell him I’m really fucking disappointed with him and I’m genuinely disgusted by his actions  _

**DTF** : he has been told and now locked himself in the hall bathroom 

**RockDad** : good 

**RockDad** :  **_let him feel the shame_ **

**DTF** : wait 

**DTF** : I THINK HE’S PLAYING THE GUMMY BEAR SONG WHILE SITTING IN THE SHOWER 

**DTF** :  _ THE AUDACITY OF THIS  _

**DTF** :  **_B I T C H_ **

**K.Hala** : I never thought i would get to this point in my life 

**K.Olivia** : tbh same 

**FatherlyKukui** : explain? 

**K.Hala** : no thank you 

**FatherlyKukui** : No! No!

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ share with the rest of the class on how you feel  _

**K.Hala** : I wouldn’t like to 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_I warned you didn’t I????_ **

**K.Hala** :  _ you did and I’m regretting this  _

**FatherlyKukui** : well tuff because If you leave I’ll just add you again 

**K.Hala** : what did I do to you to deserve this!?!? 

**FatherlyKukui** : a lot of things but in to salty to lost them 

**FatherlyKukui** : and it would take me a while damn week to even come halfway to finishing that list 

**K.Hala** :  _ keikikāne _

**FatherlyKukui** : I am NOT your keikikāne

**FatherlyKukui** : But you know who’s  _ my _ keikikāne?

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_Ash_ **

User  **WelaFire** has entered the chat!  _ Here come the flames!  _

**WelaFire** : Ash just started cried because he just glancing at his phone 

**WelaFire** : what happened!?!?!? 

**WelaFire** :  **_oh_ **

**WelaFire** : also Professor me and Ash are going into town along with Mallow and Kahuna Nanu so we’ll be back later

**FatherlyKukui** : alright see you soon 

User  **WelaFire** has left the chat!  _ The flames have been extinguished!  _

**AuraBuggy** : @ **RockDad** you’re going to hate me for this 

**RockDad** :  **_-_-_ **

**AuraBuggy** :  _ Wne2@!/8  _

**AuraBuggy** : so I may or may not have hide Roarks phone from him 

**RockDad** :  **_Riley you’re older than I am what the ever living fuck_ **

**AuraBuggy** : @ **RockDad**

**AuraBuggy** : Brock 

**AuraBuggy** :  _ buddy  _

**[ Mod GhostMeMaybe has redacted the message]**

**GhostMeMaybe** :  **_getting really fucking tired that I have to keep doing this shit_ **

**RockDad** : I didn’t even see the message so I’m forever thankful 

**AuraBuggy** : RUDE 

**RockDad** : where did you hide the phone? 

**AuraBuggy** : under his dad's hat 

**AuraBuggy** : Wait…. 

**AuraBuggy** :  _ YOU TRAITOR  _

**RockDad** :  **play by the rules, play by the rules**

User  **UnkieWunkieNanu** has entered the chat!  _ Here comes the amazement!  _

**UnkieWunkieNanu** : I can’t fucking believe 

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  _ I Can’t Fucking Believe  _

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  **_I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE_ **

****

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  **_I. C A N ‘ T. F U C K I N G. B E L I E V E_ **

**K.Hala** : are you okay Nanu!? 

**K.Olivia** : weren’t you going to the store with some of Kukui’s students? 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has entered the chat!  _ Here comes that Boi!  _

**PrinceBabey** : Y’ALL

**PrinceBabey** :  _ Y’ALL _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_Y’ALL_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_Y ‘ A L L_ **

**PrinceBabey** : I THINK I FINALLY FUCKING DONE IT!!!!!!

**PrinceBabey** :  _ I THINK I USED THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP TO STOP AN EVIL TEAM!!!!! _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_I LITERALLY JUST HAD TO TALK TO THEM AND!?!?!?!?_ **

**PrinceBabey** : @ **K.Hala** @ **FatherlyKukui** _y’all have some deep shit to talk about_

**PrinceBabey** : BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT

**K.Hala** :  _ wait what  _

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_You don’t mean_ **

**PrinceBabey** : I’m A D D I N G THEM 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has added  **YaBoi** to the chat  **Paul Machine Broke™**

**Mod PrinceBabey** : has added  **BigSis** to the chat  **Paul Machine Broke™**

**Mod PrinceBabey** has changed the chat name from  **Paul Machine Broke™** to  **Aggressive Friendship**

User  **YaBoi** has entered the chat!  _ Here they come!  _

User  **BigSis** has entered the chat!  _ Ohana forever!  _

**YaBoi** :  _ Someone come collect their Komala because he’s crushing my wind pipes  _

**BigSis** :  _ I’m begging you all please don’t  _

User  **BigSis** has sent Files  **HeCling** to the GC 

**BigSis** :  _ let the giant man drown in love that he’s missing _

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  _ I can’t fucking breeze  _ \- Guzma 

**UnkieWunkieNanu** : how the fuck does your kid do that Kukui 

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ he _

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_uh_ **

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ I’ve seen him do this to Pokémon  _

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ but never to a human????  _

**RockDad** :  **_Ah_ **

**RockDad** : the  **_‘Fuck you we’re friends now and you can’t get rid of me’_ ** technique 

**BigSis** : please tell me this happened before!? 

**RockDad** : yeah actually, @ **Com.King** was  _ technically _ out of all of them the first one 

**DTF** :  _ don’t diminish my work!  _

**RockDad** :  _ I said  _ **_technically_ **

**BigSis** : how old is he btw??? he looks like a 12 y/o 

**BigSis** :  _ NVM HE’S 19  _

**YaBoi** : @ **FatherlyKukui** come collect your fucking kid before I die by love and hugs 

**UnkieWunkieNanu** : just pick him up and let Plum lead you because you two need to talk things out 

**YaBoi** :  _ I can’t see  _

**FatherlyKukui** : how can you even type then!?!?? 

**YaBoi** : practice and Plumeria 

**FatherlyKukui** : makes sense 

**WaterMom** : to be completely honest I feel like this journey has been completely anti climatic for you Ash 

**RockDad** : yeah :( I don’t like the way this is probably heading

**PrinceBabey** : hold on let me lost this shit 

**PrinceBabey** : I raised Nebby through three evolutions and she turned out to be Solgaleo, rode her into another world to go saved her mom who got trapped by and ultra beast and bright her back 

**PrinceBabey** : dealt with my parental feeling with Professor Kukui which ended up gaining me another dad 

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ another  _ dad? 

**PrinceBabey** : apparently Lugia and Tapu Koko have split parental supervision over me

**FatherlyKukui** : tbh 

**FatherlyKukui** : I should have asked 

**PrinceBabey** : then dealt with an angry Lusamine among other things I can’t really remember and I’m too lazy to really look back on 

**WaterMom** : which is a  _ Mood™  _

**PrinceBabey** : and then I had to legally arrest someone because the threatened me to forcefully give away my well earned Orange Island Champion title over and threatened a lot of other students 

**BigSis** : …

**BigSis** :  _ kid  _

**YaBoi** :  _ hi yes, I would like to legally adopt you  _

**FatherlyKukui** : you’ll have to go through me first 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ can’t y’all like _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_share???_ **

**PrinceBabey** : because anyone’s better than my actual father 

**PrinceBabey** : and currently also doing better than Tapu Koko because again apparently he’s my Legendary father yet he’s being shit at it. 

**YaBoi** :...

**FatherlyKukui** : how about we talk later, it’s getting pretty late tonight and Nanu wants everyone bright and early tomorrow 

**UnkieWunkieNanu** : I do? 

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ you do _

**UnkieWunkieNanu** :  **_of course I do!_ **

**YaBoi** : come on kiddo, bedtime 

**PrinceBabey** : _ :( _

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ Ash _

**FatherlyKukui** : I can see you in the distance, get off of Guzma 

**PrinceBabey** : **_: (_ **

**YaBoi** : keiki come on, hop off ya boy and go to bed

**YaBoi** : Nanu doesn’t like there being 2 grumpy beings in one group 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_;-;_ ** alright 

**PrinceBabey** : night everyone!

**Mod PrinceBabey** has left the chat!  _ Bedtime here we come!  _


	26. Semi confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akamu means frormed by god, earthy from the website that I picked from and I thought it fit Kukui well

Group chat:  **not your keikikāne**

**K.Hala** : alright who named the chat 

**Guzma** : it was both of us 

**Akamu** : unanimous

**K.Hala** : Professor it’s only unanimous if it’s in everyone’s agreement 

**Akamu** : then let me rephrase it 

**Akamu** :  _ it’s unanimous between me and Guzma  _

**K.Hala** :  _ dear  _ **_Tapu_ ** __

**K.Hala** : it’s only been one night and half a day 

**K.Hala** : how have you two gotten so close again? 

**Akamu** : Ash

**Guzma** : Kukui’s little legendary magnet of a son 

**Akamu** : he’s  _ technically _ not my son

**Guzma** : even though he’s 19 you’re his legal guardian, he lives with you, and he absolutely adores you 

**Guzma** : he practically sees you as his actual makuakāne

**Guzma** : tbh I’m surprised he hasn’t decked any of the other scientists at your work 

**Akamu** : that’s the reason I never bring him there 

**Akamu** :  _ I’m genuinely afraid he’s going to either punch someone or challenge everyone at a Pokémon battle with just Pikachu  _

**Akamu** : and the other scientists would freak out at taking a hard loss against someone around 2 times younger than them 

**Akamu** : how do you even know about that stuff? 

**Guzma** : You still talk to Plum 

**Akamu** :  _ that’s a good point  _

**K.Hala** : anyways, back to the discussion that needs to be finally discussed between us three

**Guzma** : why didn’t you tell me you were giving me up to Nanu? 

**K.Hala** :  **_a h_ ** __

**K.Hala** :  _ well _

**Guzma** : and that you told Akamu white lies that weren’t even white lies! 

**Guzma** :  _ they were just lies _

**Guzma** : and that you didn’t want him to pursue a relationship with me back then!?

**K.Hala** : you see 

**Guzma** : looking back now, I was honestly getting better when you took legal guardianship away from that scum of the earth and that gas lighter of parents 

**Guzma** : I only relapsed back because you were the one to ruin it all 

**K.Hala** : keiki

**Guzma** : you have absolutely **_no right_** to call me a child since I’m 26 years old

**Guzma** : and you lost all your privileges to call me your keikikāne after you willingly gave me up

**Guzma** : especially after Akamu told me it was because you were so desperate to get your  _ actual _ son back home 

**Guzma** : on  _ top  _ of believing I wasn’t getting spiritually healed by Tapu Koko when i was dealing with the aftermath of being emotional, verbal, and physical abuse by my own birth parents 

**Guzma** : _which_ is healed through doctors and other things a Guardian **_can_** **_not_** do 

**Guzma** : in the end you lost both me and Akamu just to get your son and grandkid back onto the island

**Guzma** : and for what? A  _ year  _ at most? 

**K.Hala** : their actually staying here for the unseeable future 

**Guzma** :  **_well good for you_ **

**K.Hala** : I’m honestly surprised your calm right now, usually your texting in all caps and trying to call either of us 

**Akamu** : we’re currently in the same room 

**Guzma** : and since Nanu finished  _ whatever _ he was doing with the class and Plum is rounding up all the other ex-grunts to tell them the news 

**Guzma** :  _ Ash has deemed it worthy to return to his spot from last night  _

**Akamu** : I’m currently enjoying Guzma slowly get squashed from Ash and his team dog pilling him 

**Guzma** :  **fuk u**

**Akamu** :  _ No You  _

**Guzma** :  **_Shit_ **

**Akamu** : and I already warned him that it’s in everyone’s best interest not to wake Ash up from a nap

**Akamu** : less you get  **_shunned_ ** until he see fits 

**Guzma** : one of your students threatened me that she will throw me to the wild Sharpedo’s if I accidentally wake him 

**Akamu** : Ah 

**Akamu** :  _ Lana  _

**Guzma** : **_I fear your class_ **

**Akamu** : I mean,  _ good choice?  _

**Akamu** : but you really just need to fear Ash because both Tapu Bulu and Tapu Lele are very keen about him and idk what Tapu Koko will do because I know for a fucking  **_Fact™_ ** that if something seriously bad happens to Ash Lugia will come and 

**Akamu** :  _ reak  _

**Akamu** :  **_HAVOC_ **

**Guzma** : …

**Guzma** :  _ wow _

**Akamu** :  **yeah**

**Guzma** : I mean 

**Guzma** :  **_I would also do the same for him and I’ve only met him last night_ **

**Akamu** : your the living embodiment of that one meme 

**Guzma** : wait 

**Akamu** :  _ you know the one  _

**Guzma** :  **_shit you’re right_ **

**Guzma** : I gotta do something real quick 

User  **Guzma** has left the chat  **not your keikikāne**

**K.Hala** : wait we’re not done yet 

**Akamu** :  _ No _

**Akamu** : you’re absolutely right Hala, we’re not done 

**Akamu** : but apparently you don’t have the words you want to say so we’re giving you until later tonight 

**Mod Akamu** has left the chat  **not your keikikāne**

**K.Hala** :  **_Well Then_ **

—

Group chat:  **Aggressive Friendship**

User  **YaBoi** has entered the chat! Oh boy here they come! 

**YaBoi** : okay first off, is this chat  _ sentient _ !? 

**Gay** : yeah 

**YaBoi** : awesome, and second off 

**YaBoi** :  **_I’ve only met Ash for not even a full day but if anything happens to him I will yet everyone in the chat and then myself_ **

**RockDad** : a constant mood 

**WaterMom** : same 

**FlameLesbian** : Ash has gained another follower 

**Con.Queen** : welcome to the cult 

**GreenDay** : I second with that statement 

**DTF** : ONE OF US.  _ ONE OF US _ .  **_ONE OF US._ **

**GarchompMAX** : that’s just the natural underlying theme in this chat 

**Run** : _gee_ @ **PrinceBabey** _how come Arceus lets you have two dads?_

**YaBoi** :  **bold of you to assume Ash has his phone rn**

**YaBoi** :  **_and also bolder of you to assume Kukui will give any parental inch up in this kids life_ **

**YaBoi** : Tapu Koko not included because apparently Lugia has  _ all  _ the parental rights to the kid 

**Run** :  _ w a t  _

**YaBoi** : nothing 

**Run** :  **_k_ **

**Prof.Burnet** : so you must be Guzma! 

**YaBoi** : and I’m taking from your name your Burnet? 

**Prof.Burnet** : yes! Plumeria talks a lot about you 

**YaBoi** : probably about all the stupid shit that I do 

**Prof.Burnet** : she actually shared some really cute pictures back when you guys first met and I have to say you were extremely adorable!!!! 

**YaBoi** :  **_…_ **

**BigSis** :  _ you promised not to mention the pictures Cadenza _

**BigSis** :  **_I TRUSTED YOU_ **

**Prof.Burnet** : I’m sorry!!! But he looks so cute!!! 

**YaBoi** : ….

**YaBoi** : if it were for 1 boi, 5 Pokémon, and the utter fear instilled in me by Akamu’s class 

**YaBoi** :  **_I would have stabbed you_ **

**ElectricSN** : THAT'S NOT HOW THE VINE GOES!!!! 

**ElectricSN** :  _ RESPECT THE VINE  _

**WelaFire** : I’ve never seen Sophocles type in all caps until now and I’m scared 

**FoodForThought** : rip??? You haven’t!?!? 

**Land** : he types in all caps like 

**Land** :  _ Every Day  _

**WelaFire** : welp I guess I just missed it until now 

**YaBoi** : anyways I feel sleep kicking my ass so

I’m going to join Ash and take a nap 

**YaBoi** : by Y’all 


	27. Colress baby, your not alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the title of the chapter is actually going to lead into the next chapter, so just a heads up.
> 
> Also Hau joins as AlolaBeans!!! Along with Lugia appearing to tell Tapu Koko he’s being a Shit Dad God

Group chat:  **Aggressive Friendship**

**ElectricSN** : so I just realized something 

**FoodForThought** : IT IS 3 AM IN THE MORNING 

**FoodForThought** :  _ FOR THE LOVE OF TAPU  _

**FoodForThought** :  **_GO TO FUCKING B E D_ **

**ElectricSN** :  _ no u  _

**ElectricSN** : Anyways!! 

**FoodForThought** :  _ If you don’t go to bed rn I won’t make you a cake for your birthday  _

**ElectricSN** : …. 

**ElectricSN** :  **_that’s a small price to pay for calling out 2 (Two) Professors_ **

**FoodForThought** :  _ Lolo _

**ElectricSN** : I’ll take that also 

**ElectricSN** :  **ANYWAYS!!!!**

**ElectricSN** : did no one say anything that both @/YaBoi and @/BigSis comment not 1 (one) 

**ElectricSN** : BUT 2 (TWO) PROFESSOR’S FIRST NAMES!?!? 

**Land** : no not really???? 

**ElectricSN** :  **_EVEN YOU!?!?_ **

**Land** : it’s 3 in the fucking morning Sophocles on a Friday night no less 

**Land** :  _ why would it matter!?!?!?  _

**ElectricSN** :  _ because it’s not on the schools website?????  _

**Land** : so? 

**FoodForThought** : so? 

**ElectricSN** : none of the Professor’s first names on the school website!!! 

**ElectricSN** : while all the other teachers that aren’t Professors are!!! 

**Prof.Colress** : your are in fact 

**Prof.Colress** :  **W r o n g**

**Prof.Colress** :  _ I don’t even know my last name so ha!  _

**Prof.Burnet** :  _ y _

**Prof.Burnet** :  _ you don’t even know your  _ **_LAST NAME!?!?_ **

**Prof.Colress** : haha 

**Prof.Colress** : n o p e 

**Prof.Burnet** :  **_H O W!?!?!?_ **

**Prof.Colress** : I was threatened into joining team Plasma and some of the more brave grunts would beat me around with admins not caring since I was forced to work 

**Prof.Colress** : so head trauma!!!!! 

User  **Prof.Colress** sent Gif  **Jazz Hands** to the chat! 

**Prof.Colress** : so I started going by my first name 

**Prof.Burnet** : so  _ that’s  _ why Lusamine folded you so high up in the chain

**Prof.Colress** : I was a peace offering from Ghetsis but only her and Faba knew that 

**Prof.Burnet** : that would explain you pulling constant pranks on him 

**Prof.Colress** : I’m just happy I was able to dye his hair brown before he got arrested, have fun having nasty green hair along with brown 

**ElectricSN** : Kay that answers **ONE** of them 

**ElectricSN** : @ **Prof.Burnet** _why doesn’t your school link not say your first name????_

**Prof.Burnet** : because in Unova they give you the chose to go by your first name or last name 

**Prof.Burnet** : and Professor Burnet sounded better than Professor Cadenza 

**ElectricSN** : that’s fair 

**FoodForThought** :  _ -_- what’s Professor Kukui’s first name again?  _

**Prof.Burnet** : Akamu 

**Prof.Colress** : Akamu 

**Land** :  **_huh_ **

**FoodForThought** : seems fitting for him 

**ElectricSN** : I still don’t know my Alolian well

**ElectricSN** : what does it mean again? Because I don’t think we discussed names when I was learning it in Unova 

**Prof.Burnet** : it means formed by God or Earth 

**ElectricSN** : oh yeah that totally fits him! 

**Mod FatherlyKukui** has entered the chat!  _ Uh oh here they come!  _

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_I’m giving all three of you a quiz on Monday because both Lana and Mallow know it’s better to let Sophocles rant than join in and Sophocles you shouldn’t be up this late_ **

**Mod FatherlyKukui** has left the chat!  _ Nighty Night!  _

**Land** :  **SOPHOCLES!!!!**

**FoodForThought** :  **SOPHOCLES!!!!**

**ElectricSN** : uh 

**ElectricSN** :  _ oops?  _

—

PrinceBabey:  **_GOOD MORNING_ ** @ **All** **_I HOPE YOU’RE ALL GOING TO/HAVING A GOOD MORNING LIKE ME!!!!_ **

**K.Hala** : Akamu Kukui your son is a fucking danger magnet 

FatherlyKukui:  _ oh?  _

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_I wouldn’t have guessed_ **

**FatherlyKukui** : _because waking up earlier in the morning than I usually get up and go outside to see Ash watching fucking_ ** _LUGIA_** _of all Gods in Alola and which it appears to be scolding_ _our Guardian like a child covered in mud isn’t something that’s worrisome_

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_Absolutely Not, No Sir_ **

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_N O T H I N G wrong H e r e_ **

**TooPure** :  _ let Lugia hit the undercooked chicken  _ \- Ash 

**ElectricSN** :  _ Let Big Dad Vibe Check Little Chicken Dad _ \- Ash 

**WelaFire** : I’ve never seen anything like this, Tapu Koko is one of the most headstrong Guardian of Alola and it looks like Lugia is stripping it down emotionally to its bare skin 

**FoodForThought** :  **_G o o d_ ** \- Ash 

**GarchompMAX** : why are all of you at the Professor's house????

**ElectricSN** : sleepover 

**FoodForThought** : sleepover 

**WelaFire** : sleepover 

**Land** : sleepover 

**TooPure** : sleepover 

**TooPure** : and Gladion and Hau are here as well!!! 

**TooPure** : and speaking of my brother he’s still dead asleep 

TooPure: … along with Hau 

**ElectricSN** : really???? 

**ElectricSN** : after Kukui screamed bloody murder when he went out and saw Lugia tourering over the beach hut!?!?!?

**PrinceBabey** : <_<

**PrinceBabey** :  **_I can change that_ **

**Mod PrinceBabey** has left the chat!  _ Better be jumpin’ high!  _

**Gay** :  _ it’s 4 in the morning in Sinnoh  _

**Gay** :  **_I don’t need the chat becoming even more sentient_ **

User  **Prof.Burnet** has entered the chat!  _ Hey there sleepy head!  _

**Prof.Burnet** : ignoring the chat for a second 

**Prof.Burnet** : why did Ash just run in from outside and  _ launched  _ into the mountain high pile of pillows and blankets piled up in the living room!?!?! 

**Prof.Burnet** :  **_nvm he was after Gladion and Hau_ **

**TooPure** : excuse me Professor

**TooPure** : but that is our  **_Nest™_ ** in the  **_Snacc Shakk™_ **

**FoodForThought** : WHO TAUGHT HER HOW TO MEME 

**ElectricSN** : Gladion did

**WelaFire** : he, Lillie, and Ash were the last ones to actually sleep because Ash was explaining some things about their new family???? 

**WelaFire** : idk I just heard something about uncle Agustus having a rivalry with someone named Milton before I blacked out from a sugar rush 

**MageStone** :  _ Professor Milton Rowen is an  _

**MegaStone** :  **_A S S H O L E_ **

**MegaStone** : @ **GarchomMax** _curve your fucking scientist before I take it into my own hands and_ ** _curve stomp him_**

**GarchompMAX** : ITS 4 AM IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THIS AGUSTUS 

**MegaStone** :  **not for a good curve stomping It’s fucking not**

**ElectricNerd** : wait

**ElectricNerd** :  _ YOU’RE ASH’S UNCLE!?!?!?  _

**MegaStone** :  **was**

**MegaStone** : I  **was** Ash’s uncle 

**ElectricNerd** :  _ that doesn’t help Professor  _

**MegaStone** :  **_hhhhh_ **

**MegaStone** : @ **ProfSamual**

**MegaStone** : what time is it in Kanto right now??? 

**ProfSamual** : if your wondering if you can get away with explaining more about Ash’s family then you’re in luck 

**ProfSamual** : she’s at work and her phones off 

**MegaStone** : Good 

**MegaStone** : so I was married to Lysander and he was Delia’s oldest Brother 

**ElectricNerd** : … 

**ElectricNerd** :  **_FuCkInG E x C u S E mE!?!?!?_ **

User  **MegaDragon** has entered the chat!  _ Here comes the storm!  _

User  **TrueTrueKalosQ** has entered the chat!  _ Here comes the glitter!  _

User  **TrueKalosQueen** has entered the chat!  _ There’s ribbon everywhere!  _

User  **Chespie#1** has entered the chat!  _ Hey there cutie!  _

User  **GreenNMean** has entered the chat!  _ Pen master is here!  _

User  **sQuirtle** has entered the chat!  _ Let’s get the music started!  _

User  **FuCk™** has entered the chat!  _ Look at all these photo’s!  _

User  **AtMyBest** has entered the chat!  _ Look at that strut!  _

**MegaStone** :  **_…._ **

**MegaStone** :  **_Listen_ **

**Chespie#1** : what the actual fuck Professor 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** :  _ HI YES _

**TrueTrueKalosQ** :  _ WHAT THE EVER LIVING F U C K!?!?!?  _

**GreenNMean** : what did you ever see in him???? 

**sQuirtle** : the Pyroar furry that almost destroyed all of Kalos and by extension the world??!?!! 

**TrueKalosQ** : you have officially lost all of my respect Professor 

**FuCk™** : when did this even happen??? Because it wasn’t in the news when you became the Regional Professor for Kalos?? 

**AtMyBest** : just what the plain  **fuck**

**MegaDragon** :  **_…_ **

**MegaDragon** : I knew you were married to a dude but I didn’t know it was 

**MegaDragon** :  **_H I M_ **

**MegaStone** :  **_L I S T E N_ **

**MegaStone** : this happened before I even got my fucking doctorate 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : Explain before I come over and dye your hair gray 

**MegaStone** :  **_don’t you fucking dare_ **

**TrueTrueKalosQ** :  **_then start T a l k i n g_ **

**MegaStone** :  _ fine  _

**MegaStone** : so me and my family moved after I finished my 2nd year of middle school to Kanto and I happened to go to the same school as Lysander and Delia 

**MegaStone** : me and Delia has the same class and, in the same way Ash does, kinda forced her motherly friendship on to me and would bring me home to hang out because I didn’t have any friends because I was the  _ new kid™  _

**MegaStone** : semi related note, she “ _ kidnapped _ ” me to go meet Professor Oak and hang out with the lab Pokémon and that’s also how I found out I wanted to be a Professor instead of a hairdresser like my shitty parents 

**MegaStone** : and then me and Lysander got really close because he was usually the one watching over Delia and we started writing letters to each other when I moved back to Kalos 

**MegaStone** : low and behold after years of letters and talking over face time we ended up going to the same school in Kalos and we agreed to start dating because we both had grown a crush on the other 

**MegaStone** : two years passed and we got married

**MegaStone** :  _ which is fast I  _ **_KnOw_ **

**MegaStone** : and then I got my doctorate and after like a year I became the Regional Professor for Kalos, which is super short and I think I was just extremely lucky??? 

**MegaStone** : and then everything spiraled after that 

**WhiteEmpress** : I never wanted to kill a man more in my life that wasn’t Giovanni 

**MegaStone** : everyone wants to kill Giovanni Diantha 

**WhiteEmpress** :  **_I know_ **

**MegaStone** : and that’s why Ash didn’t really say anything because it was a touchy topic in general 

**MegaDragon** : where are you??? 

**Chespie#1** : where are you at??

**MegaStone** : in the observation area!?! 

**MegaStone** : where else??? 

**MegaDragon** : because I’m taking a page out of Ash’s book for once 

**MegaDragon** : what 

User  **MegaDragon** has left the chat!  _ Look at that speed!  _

User  **Chespie#1** left the chat!  _ Right behind ya!  _

**MegaStone** :  _ WAIT SH _

User  **MegaStone** has left the chat!  _ Don’t die now!  _

**TooPure** : bringing the topic back to the Alolan Drama

**TooPure** : Ash has brought both Hau and Gladion outside with Rotom strapped face down against his chest with duct tape 

User  **TooPure** has sent Video  **AshWhy** to the GC 

**TooPure** : Rotom is still trying to fly away 

User  **Rotom** has entered the chat!  _ Back to this chat like Glue!  _

**Rotom** : @ **PrinceBabey**

**Rotom** : @ **PrinceBabey**

**Rotom** : @ **PrinceBabey**

**Rotom** : @ **PrinceBabey**

**Rotom** : @ **PrinceBabey**

**Rotom** : UNTAPE ME RIGHT THIS SECOND!!!!

Rotom: THERE ARE LEGENDARIES I NEED TO DOCUMENT!!! 

**Land** :  _ Absolutely fucking not _ \- Ash 

**Rotom** : SATOSHI!!!! 

**Land** :  _ no _ \- Ash 

**WelaFire** : Ash can apparently understand their language and is leaving  **_Nothing_ ** out 

User  **SupremeEdge** has entered the chat!  _ Look who’s up!  _

**SupremeEdge** : someone add Hau 

**K.Hala** :  _ Absolutely Not young man  _

**SupremeEdge** :  _ Someone  _ **_PLEASE_ ** _ add Hau  _

**K.Hala** :  _ Do Not  _

**Mod PrinceBabey** has entered the chat!  _ There you are!  _

**K.Hala** :  _ No _

**Mod PrinceBaby** has added  **AlolaBeans** into the chat  **Aggressive Friendship**

**K.Hala** :  _ NO  _

User  **AlolaBeans** has entered the chat!  _ Hey there sweetie!  _

**K.Hala** : … 

**AlolaBeans** :  _ so Ash wasn’t kidding that the chat is not sentient  _

**AlolaBeans** : also I wake up to Ash pouncing at me and getting physically dragged outside to see Lugia shaming Tapu Koko 

**AlolaBeans** : @ **All** is this normal??? 

**AlolaBeans** : wait CRAP 

**AlolaBeans** : THERE’S SO MANY PEOPLE ON HERE 

**FatherlyKukui** : good morning Hau and yes this is normal 

**SupremeEdge** : that was a big as sigh of defeat you just did there Professor 

**PrinceBabey** : tbh why I stopped translating because it just went from shaming to the equivalent of kink shaming for legendaries and really elaborate insults I don’t want to hear any of that shit more than I have to 

**PrinceBabey** : y’all are lucky you don’t automatically understand them like I do 

**WelaFire** : thank the Gods we don’t 

**FatherlyKukui** : everyone come inside for breakfast and leave Lugia alone so they can emotionally trip Tapu Koko down a few pegs 

**PrinceBabey** : **_F O O D_ **

**AlolaBeans** : YES!! THANK YOU PROFESSOR’S!!! 

**SupremeEdge** : and there they go 


	28. What The Hell Is This Family Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reds full first name is Alfreda and Golds family chat Handel is BlingBlingBaby

Group chat:  **Aggressive Friendship**

**PrinceBabey** : yo so 

**PrinceBabey** : do you ever just not eat past breakfast and then your stomach grumbles because your hungry, and you  _ feel  _ hungry 

**PrinceBabey** : but then you also don’t want to swallow anything and the thought of eating just doesn’t sound good at all? And it kinda makes you feel nauseous??? 

**GarchompMAX** :  **_who are you and what have you done to my S O N_ **

**PrinceBabey** : I’m just in a mood :( 

**Land** : get some boba after school 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_whomst the fuck is boba!?_ **

**FoodForThought** :  _ EXCUSE ME!?!?!?!?!? _

**FoodForThought** :  _ YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT  _ **_BOBA IS!?!?!?_ **

**PrinceBabey** : guess I’m getting boba after school 

**FatherlyKukui** : I’m about to yell at all of you to where Principal Oak will hear me and he’s on the other side of the school right now 

**FatherlyKukui** : and Sophocles, Lana, and Mallow need to stay after school today so they can take the test I’m forcing onto them because they were up to late on Saturday

**PrinceBabey** : **_; _ ;_ **

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ change that to Tuesday then  _

**PrinceBabey** : ^-^ 

**MegaStone** :  **_WHIPPED_ **

**FatherlyKukui** : says the man who bought their kids and lab assistants onesies

**MegaStone** :  _ h e y  _ **_n o w_ **

**FatherlyKukui** : but off your phones kiddies or you’ll get Saturday detention 

—

**WhiteEmpress** : @ **Cheezy** your still emailing me instead of Alain 

User  **Cheezy** has entered the chat!  _ Silent partner is here!  _

**Cheezy** :  _ Ah my bad  _

**Cheezy** : I completely forgot that you’re no longer Champion 

**ElectricNerd** :  **_hey yes, please explain that shit to me because I missed the last Kalos league meet up_ **

**WhiteEmpress** : I’m helping Alain into the role of Champion because Kalos is still trying to fix itself from the fight 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ excuse you that was a fucking _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_W A R_ **

**WhiteEmpress** :  _ basically _

**WhiteEmpress** : so I’m just helping him until once his first year is done then I’ll be moving to Pallet Town into Delia’s house 

**MothersAshes** : !!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ 

**WhiteEmpress** : Ah yes  **_“I love you and I can’t wait until you move in”_ **

**ElectricNerd** : you got that just from what? 

**ElectricNerd** :  _ four hearts and six exclamation points????  _

**WhiteEmpress** : Delia speak 

**GarchompMAX** : once you’ve been dating her for a couple month you finally understand what her excited emoji paraphrase mean 

**ElectricNerd** : I wish I was as close to my boyfriend as you guys are 

**WhiteEmpress** : what do you mean???? Grant absolutely loves you!!! 

**WhiteEmpress** : he was lamenting to Korrina that you weren’t here because he brought like 

**WhiteEmpress** : 5 thunderstones for you 

**ElectricNerd** : _ I meant text wise _

**WhiteEmpress** : oh 

**WhiteEmpress** : I was the one to integrate him as gym leader several years ago and I still don’t know what he texts me 

**WhiteEmpress** : I think only Korrina knows tbh 

**ElectricNerd** : ah 

**ElectricNerd** : then I’ll just ask her then 

**ElectricNerd** :  _ wait _

**ElectricNerd** :  **_Whomst the fuck is C H E E Z Y!?!?!?_ **

**Cheezy** : I’m Champion Red

**GreenViridian** :  _ THAT'S MY HUBBY!!!!! _

**Silver** : that’s my brother Red 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_the oldest Farel Baby, Red_ **

**BlueMe** : Red 

**ButterMeUp** : ‘Tis Red

**ElectricNerd** : oh shit

**ElectricNerd** : I actually have a question about your championship if you don’t mind answering actually 

**Cheezy** : Nah, shoot 

**ElectricNerd** : are you just Champion over Kanto or both Kanto And Johto?

**Cheezy** : just Kanto 

**Cheezy** : Ash has the Orange Islands 

**Cheezy** : and Gold is Champion of Johto 

**Cheezy** : Lance just takes care of the paperwork, most of the social gatherings, and meetings for both of us and half for Ash because he’s been doing it for so long and I still can’t really be in front of a lot of people 

**Cheezy** : Ash travels a lot and he doesn’t really get most of the paperwork outside what he asked for help from other Champions and Drake takes care of most of the other half of the paper work since he’s the top of their elite four and he only really needs Ash to sign off stuff and he’ll talk through the paper work to where Ash get’s the basic understanding of what the fuck is going on 

**Cheezy** : he’s also currently enrolled into the Pokemon School in Alola and none of the elite four want to take him out because they’ve been silently pushing him to further his education so he could be more involved in what’s going on 

**Cheezy** : and Gold travels a lot with Silver to breeding conventions and other stuff 

**Cheezy** : and Lance actually asked to keep doing the palate work because it keeps him busy and it also makes sure that he can check up on everyone else doing their fair share 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ why the fuck are you just joining in now?  _

**Cheezy** : I just didn’t want to earlier 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ rude  _ yet  **fair**

**Land** : W A I T 

**Land** : both Silver and Ash said your their brother? 

**MothersAshes** : Red is the oldest by 2 years 

**MothersAshes** : Silver is half related to the other two from an affair Giobitchi had and was dropped off on my front porch the day that man left 

MothersAshes: and Ash is the youngest by 5 years if we go off Red but 3 years if we go off Silver 

**Land** :  **_O H_ **

**Land** : I was confused for a second there 

**WelaFire** : so what’s your whole family then???? 

**PrinceBabey** : I’m currently getting boba with the girls so 

**PrinceBabey** : B Y E ! 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has left the chat!  _ Stay hydrated! _

**Cheezy** :  _ coward _

**GreenViridian** : Coward 

**ButterMeUp** :  **_C o w a r e d_ **

**Sliver** : peasant 

**BlueMe** : COWARD 

**MothersAshes** :  **_A N Y WAYS_ **

**Cheezy** : Silver and Ash are my brothers by blood, Gold is my brother by marriage through Silver

**Cheezy** : I’m married to green which makes him, Gary, and Daisy siblings by marriage to Silver and Ash. While Gary and Daisy are siblings by marriage to me 

**Cheezy** : and Professor Oak is now or grandpa my marriage also

**Cheezy** : Lance is my uncle alongside Clair being his cousin on his dads side and idk what the  _ hell  _ that makes her to us

**DragonMaster** : best to go with just Aunt Clair 

**Cheezy** :  **_…_ **

**Cheezy** :  **_do I have to?_ **

**DragonMaster** : it’s probably for the best, or just go with Clair 

**Cheezy** : alright then 

**Silver** : I have a few family members on my bastards side that none of them have, but their still close to Giovanni so I don’t interact with them unless I necessarily have to 

**Cheezy** : Lance is dating Alder and if they marry he’ll be Unxle Alder 

**Silver** :  _ why did you censor Uncle??? _

**Cheezy** :  **I don’t have to explain myself**

**Cheezy** : then mom is actually engaged now to both Cynthia and Diantha so their practically our moms now

**Cheezy** : Lysandre  **_was_ ** our uncle until he fucked up and yoted himself into hell on his own terms 

**Cheezy** : and Professor Lysandre  **was** our uncle also by marriage to Lysandre but mom still considers him as a brother so he’s still our uncle 

**Cheezy** : so then by default any of his kids are our cousins 

**AtMyBest** : so Ash and Alain could actually be family then 

**MegaDragon** :  **_Nini DoN’T DO T H I S_ **

**Cheezy** : Lmao

**Cheezy** : Then we’re actually related to Agatha, which I found out last week and forgot to mention @ **MothersAshes**

**MothersAshes** :  _ that’s not something you just casually mention deer  _

**Cheezy** :  **_I’m SORRY_ **

**Cheezy** : which means we have another whole ass line of family members we don’t know about since she’s our only great grandmother but she had like 

**Cheezy** :  _ ffffooouuurrr (4) sisters!?!?!?  _

**Cheezy** : I just know it was more than two plus her 

**Cheezy** : And then we have Agent Looker and gym leader Drayden who are my mom’s cousin’s but now we technically see them as our uncles even though their our 

**Cheezy** : Second cousins??? Lets roll with that

**Cheezy** : and then mom didn’t say shit to Ash and Silver but we have a missing uncle 

**Silver** :  **_W H O M S T!?!!!?_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_FUCKING W H O M S T!?!?!?_ **

**MothersAshes** : _ I swore you guys met my brother Cole???  _

**PrinceBabey** : oh lmao,  _ yeah _ uncle cole 

**PrinceBabey** : I’ve met him when I was a  _ Babey  _ once but uncle Lance and a few other people went on and on about him after he disappeared 

**Silver** : never met the guy

**Cheezy** : it was the first year with us when Ash was five when he came over and you hid in your room because he was a Professor and you had a bad fear of people in white coats

**Silver** : **_O h_**

**Silver** : the weird guy with the blonde and blue swoop that wore the weirdest thick blue frames that opened up on top? 

**Cheezy** : yeah that’s uncle Cole 

**PrinceBabey** : 

**Prof.Colress** : 

**PrinceBabey** :

**Prof.Colress** : 

**PrinceBabey** :

**Prof.Colress** :

**PrinceBabey** :

**Prof.Colress** :

**PrinceBabey** :

**Prof.Colress** :

**PrinceBabey** :

**Prof.Colress** : **_please_** **_excuse_** **_me_**

User **Prof.Colress** has left the chat!  _ See you at the family reunion! _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_I just wanted B O B A_ **

**Mod PrinceBabey** has left the chat!  _ Have Fun! _

**Silver** :  _ Was it something i said???? _

**DragonMaster** :

**MothersAshes** : 

**DragonMaster** : @ **Prof.Burnet**

**DragonMaster** : is it possible for you to send a picture of Professor Colress to the chat? 

User  **Prof.Burnet** as entered the chat!  _ Happy you’re back! _

**Prof.Burnet** : you can look him up on the school website???? It’s not that hard??? 

**DragonMaster** :  _ I need one with him smiling _

**Prof.Burnet** :  _ Bold of you to assume I have one!?!?!?! _

**DragonMaster** :  **_this is a matter of the highest shit storm_ **

**Prof.Burnet** : HHHH F I N E 

User  **Prof.Burnet** has sent Files  **HeChuckle** to the GC 

**DragonMaster** : 

**MothersAshes** : 

**Cheezy** : Oh shit that’s uncle Cole 

**Cheezy** : @ **Silver** that’s the man you had a fear of 

**Silver** : 

**Silver** : Red

**Cheezy** : yeah? 

**Silver** : _That’s Professor Colress, who was forced to join_ ** _Team Galactic and Ghetsis_** _and now works at Ash’s school_

**Cheezy** : Oh 

**Cheezy** :  _ OH  _

**Cheezy** :  **_O H_ **

**Cheezy** : Well fuck 

**Cheezy** : Guess we found that missing uncle then

**MothersAshes** :  **_ALFREDA_ **

**DragonMaster** :  **_RED_ **

**MegaStone** : RED 

**Silver** :  _ RED  _

**Cheezy** :  **_LEAVE ME_ **

**Cheezy** :  **_B E_ **

**Cheezy** :  **_I’M_ **

**Cheezy** :  **_S T R E S S E D_ **

**MothersAshes** : _ I thought I raised you better!  _

**Cheezy** :  **PTSD changes things mama**

**MothersAshes** : 

**Cheezy** :  _ I’m  _ **_s o r r y_ **

**MothersAshes** : No 

**MothersAshes** : I’m sorry 

**MothersAshes** : I guess we’re all Panicking in our own way 

**Cheezy** : I love you 

**MothersAshes** : I love you too sweetie 

**MothersAshes** : But this is all going onto the family chat 

**Mod MothersAshes** has left the chat!  _ Hope things go well! _

—

Group Chat:  **Ugly isn’t a gene Lance, you’re born with it**

**Mod BetterThanArceus** has entered the chat!  _ The best person has arrived! _

**BetterThanArceus** : Who changed my name? 

**UncleHandsome** : Ash

**BetterThanArceus** : Who am I for one to disagree then? 

**BetterThanArceus** : But we have to clean this place up

**Mod BetterThanArceus** has changed the chat name from  **Ugle isn’t a gene Lance, you’re born with it** to  **Kazoku Means Family**

**BetterThanArceus** : there

**BestUncle** :  _ what  _

**Mod BetterThanArceus** has added  **Prof.Colress** to the chat! 

**Mod BetterThanArceus** has added  **Prof.Burnet** to the chat! 

**Mod BetterThanArceus** has added  **Prof.Kukui** to the chat! 

**Mod BetterThanArceus** has added  **YaBoi** to the chat! 

**Mod BetterThanArceus** has added  **BigSis** to the chat! 

**Mod BetterThanArceus** has added  **K.Nanu** to the chat! 

_ Welcome to the Chat everyone!  _

Multiple  **Users** has entered the chat! 

**BetterThanArceus** : so we have a lot of shit to talk about 

**YaBoi** : I just wanna know why ya boi was added 

**YaBoi** :  _ I’m not family!?!?!? _

**BetterThanArceus** : Ash clearly cares and love both you and @/BigSis so you guys are now technically family 

**YaBoi** : 

**BigSis** : Big Sister coming in to report that Guzma is crying into Nanu’s shoulder 

**BetterThanArceus** : Oh No!

**BetterThanArceus** : I didn’t mean to make him cry! 

**BigSis** : Their happy tears 

**BigSis** : Nanu looks so done tho 

**UncleHandsome** : He was never one for ooey gooey mushy feelings 

**BigSis** :  _ Heavy Doubt _ **_™_ **

**BigSis** : but I’ll take your word since he talked about you sometimes when you two were younger and he was in the force 

**UncleHandsome** : How do you know i'm Agent Looker!?!? 

**BigSis** : Ash talked about you and your name translates into Agnet Handsome 

**UncleHandsome** :  _ That’s fair  _

**BetterThanArceus** : BAck onTo The TOpic!!! 

**UncleHandsome** : are we not adding Agatha to the chat? 

**BetterThanArceus** : do you not fear the woman 

**UncleHandsome** :  **_that’s a good point_ **

**BetterThanArceus** : @ **Prof.Colress** get on here before I send Ash over to wherever you are 

**Prof.Colress** : I’m on! 

**Prof.Colress** : don’t send your feral Baby at me 

**Prof.Colress** : I don’t have any real proof that you’re my family 

**Prof.Colress** : but do one of you have a picture of when you two were younger with Lysandre and the missing brother? 

**BestUncle** : Delia that would be on you

**BestUncle** : I don’t keep pictures on my desk 

**BetterThanArceus** :  _ weak  _

**BestUncle** : my desk is already cluttered enough!!! 

**BetterThanArceus** :  **_W E A K_ **

**Mod BetterThanArceus** has sent Files  **PastBbys** to the GC 

**Prof.Colress** : 

**Prof.Colress** : is there a way we can do a DNA test? 

**Prof.Colress** : I’m sorry if I’m being so hesitant but I really want to make sure what’s going on 

**BetterThanArceus** : me and Ash have already sent one in, so you’ll have to do one if you want your own to look at 

**Prof.Colress** : that’s fair, and I think I’ll look into buying one 

**BabyAlfreda** : since we figured out the next step to figuring out our fucked up family tree

**BabyAlfreda** : Ash found out what was going on with his stomach and he’s about to come to Johto just to kill Raikou

**BlingBlingBaby** : and also the older people are roasting Red over his full name 

**BabyAlfreda** :  **_that too_ **

**BetterThanArceus** : Lysandre got to name you so idk what to do about your name 

**BabyAlfreda** :  **_thanks M O M_ **

**BetterThanArceus** : You’re a grown ass adult who’s married and you don’t have to deal with constant legendaries on your ass 

**BetterThanArceus** : if it weren't for me being mortal I would have kicked our God’s holy ass for not even hinting shit to me that Ash has two legendary dads 

**BabyAlfreda** :  **_JUST COME AND CONTAIN YOUR SON_ **

\--

Group Chat: **Aggressive** **Friendship**

**MothersAshes** : Ash 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_MY FIST IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN THAT ELECTRIC TELEPHONE POLE FUCKER”S THROAT SO I CAN TEAR ALL HIS INTESTINES OUT_ **

**PrinceyBabey** :  Yes Mama? 

**FoodForThought** : stop giving me whiplash with your moods 

**PrinceBabey** : shoulda just brought Boba to the Snacc Shakk like I asked instead of dragging me to it after school you basic thot

**FoodForThought** : I wouldn’t have guessed fucking one of Johto’s legendary trio was going to pop out in front of the store and say that he was the one messing with your appitite so that you would starve and then he would bring you back to Johto for the rest of the day for a fuCKING LEGENDARY FAMILY REUNION 

**PrinceBabey** : That’s fair 

**PrinceBabey** : But what do you need mom? 

**MothersAshes** : I’ve come to contain you 

**PrinceBabey** : @ **Cheezy** **_ALFREDA YOU S N I T C H_**

**Cheezy** : Fuk U 

**MothersAshes** :  _ Also _

**MothersAshes** : When does your DNA results come back Ash? 

**PrinceBabey** : I’m opening it tonight 

**PrinceBabey** : But Kahuna Hala is dragging me and the girls to the ruins so we can repent???

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_why the fuck do you 4 need to repent_ **

**FatherlyKukui** : @ **K.Hala** **_WHY THE FUCK DO MY STUDENT”S NEED TO REPENT!?!?!?!_ **

**K.Hala** : You know 

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_NO THE F U C K I DON’T_ **

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_So help me Hala if you do the same thing you did to me and Guzma I_ **

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_W I L L_ **

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_bring the wrath of Lugia to Alola_ **

**PrinceBabey** : nvm Tapu Koko is stopping him 

**PrinceBabey** : good thing to because I think I’m about to 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has left the chat!  _ Have a good trip! _


	29. New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Totally Update Regularly, What Are You Even Saying!? 
> 
> Lmao, seriously I’m sorry for not updating more. Things got hectic and I was in a slump with this fic. Y’all should probably look forward to another chapter update for the R+ chat soon 
> 
> Chloroform: Georgia   
> ThottieHottie/Champ.Leon: Leon   
> Dragon/Lead.Raihan: Raihan   
> GhostBab: Allister   
> FightMeB: Bea   
> Gordisic: Gordie   
> AuntieMel: Melony   
> AdmiralHotPocket: Kabu   
> GoGoGo: Go   
> DeepBlue: Nessa   
> BestBoy: Milo

Group chat:  **Aggressive Friendship**

**Mod PrinceBabey** has added  **Users** to the  **chat**

**PrinceBabey** :  _ new year, new league  _

User  **DragonThottie** as joined the  **chat**

**DragonThottie** :  _ what in  _

**DragonThottie** :  **_OH SHIT IS THIS THE CHAT!?!?_ **

**PrinceBabey** : if you’re trying to refer to the  _ Communal Nudes™ _ then no it’s not 

**DragonThottie** :  **_damn_ ** _ then  _

User  **DragonThottie** has changed their name to  **Dragon**

**PrinceBabey** :  _ Change your name again  _

**Dragon** : why!?

**PrinceBabey** :  **_JUST DO IT BEFORE SHE GETS ON_ **

User  **Drgon** has entered the  **chat!**

**PrinceBabey** :  **_S H I T_ **

**Dragon** : oh, hey Iris 

**Drgon** :  _ WHOMST!?!?  _

**Dragon** : it’s Raihan 

**Drgon** : …

**Drgon** : @ **PrinceBabey** **_w h y_**

**PrinceBabey** : Shrimp.  _ Heaven.  _ **_Now. baby_ **

**Drgon** : THAT WAS  **_O NC E_ **

**Dragon** : @ **PrinceBabey** _add me to the R+ chat_

**PrinceBabey** :  _ w h y  _

**Dragon** :  **B** ls 

**PrinceBabey** : hhhhhh 

**FlameLesbian** : who the fuck are you anyways @ **Dragon** ??? 

User  **Dragon** has sent file  **Selfie** to the  **GC**

**FlameLesbian** : NVM green light for Ash to add… Raihan???? To the chat! 

**Con.Queen** :  _ I feel like you’re not telling me something  _

**FlameLesbian** : Raihan’s hot

**FlameLesbian** :  _ not my type obviously _

**FlameLesbian** : but hey? More hot people is always a plus 

**Dragon** :  _ thanks!?!?!  _

**FlameLesbian** : your welcome 

User  **ThottieHottie** has entered the  **Group Chat!**

**ThottieHottie** :  _ why is my name ThottieHottie  _

**PrinceBabey** : NO ONE TELL HIM 

**ThottieHottie** :  **_WHY IS MY NAME THOTTIEHOTTIE_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  _ NO ONE TELL LEON  _ **_P L E A S E_ **

**DragonMaster** : @ **PrinceBabey** you’re just now adding Leon and Raihan to the chat!?!? 

**PrinceBabey** : MayBE 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ WHAT IS IT TO YOU!?!?!  _

\---------

**Champ.Lance** made a  **Private Chat** with  **ChosenOne**

**Champ.Lance** : okay first off 

**Champ.Lance:** your  _ NAME _ child 

**ChosenOne** :  **just get on with your stupid questions**

**Cham.LAnce** :  _ you like Leon and Raihan don’t you???  _

**ChosenOne** : leave my pinning _Ass_ in **peace** **pls**

**Cham.Lance** : As your uncle and emotional brother _ i think  _ **_NOT_ **

**ChosenOne** :  _ P L E A S E  _

**Cham.Lance** : it’s their height is it? 

**ChosenOne** :  **_LANCE_ **

**Champ.Lance** :  _ ore their muscles!!! _ Both Raihan and Leon are pretty heavy set in that regards 

**ChosenOne** :  _ l a n c e,  _ **_P L E A S E_ **

**Champ.Leon** : or their voice!? 

**ChosenOne** : … 

**Champ.Leon** : It’s something else isn’t it? 

**ChosenOne** : …

**Champ.LAnce** : **_Aaaaaasssshhhhhh_** _you can’t hide this forever_

**ChosenOne** : _ i like their eyes a lot okay!? _ And their super nice and i don’t know if they like me back or not so leave me alone about it like i’ve already asked you a bunch of times! 

User  **ChosenOne** has fled the  **Private Chat** for good! 

**Champ.Lance** :  _ Don’t like you either too,  _ **_Chat_ ** __

\--------------

**BestBoy** : so this is the elusive Chat 

**PrinceBabey** : can everyone that i’ve just added say their name? I think I forgot someone ;-;

**BestBoy** : oh darn, My bad everyone. My names Milo! 

**Dragon** : Yo wassup, my names Raihan 

**ThottieHottie** : I’m Champion Leon! 

**Drgon** : @ **PrinceBabey** _ *eye’s emoji* *Gun emoji* _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_LEave mE ALonE IrIS_ **

**GhostBab** : I’m Allister!

**FightMeB** : I’m Bea 

**FightMeB** : @ **PrinceBabey** who i’m assuming is Ash, why is my name FightMeB?

**PrinceBabey** : because you yelled “ _ Fight me Bitch _ ” across the pitch when Pikachu took down your entire team during practice 

**FightMeB** : That  _ IS _ Fair 

**Gordisic** :  _ w h y is my name t h i s  _

**PrinceBabey** : remember when we were little? 

**Gordisic** :  **_hellish times_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_M o o d_ ** , but we had a long and very in depth conversation about cryptids and if we were to be one what would our name be? All that jazz 

**PrinceBabey** : and 12 y/o you wanted to be named Gordisic 

**Gordisic** : you  _ REmemBERed!? ?! ? ! _

**PrinceBabey** : ye, bro 

**Gordisic** :  _ b r o  _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ B r o _

**Gordisic** :  _ my  _ **_B r o s ki e_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  _ my  _ **_K i n g B r o_ **

**DeepBlue** : @ **AuntieMel**

**AuntieMel** :  _ Boys _

**Gordisic** :  _ fuk you mom _

**PrinceBabey** : sorry auntie!

**Dragon** : two  _ very _ different answers 

**Gordisic** : @ **Dragon** alright you  _ Scalie _ , i know where you live 

**Dragon** :  _ Bold Of You To Assume I’m In Galar  _

**Dragon** :  **_And Bolder Of You To Assume I Know What The Fuck A Scalie Is_ **

**DeepBlue** : a Scalie is the equivalent of a Furry, but for none furry things 

**Dragon** :  _ NAH MATE  _

**Gordisic** : then where  **_THE FUCK_ ** are you!? 

**User** **Dragon** has sent files **AlolaBby** to the **GC**

**Mod PrinceBabey** has saved files  **AlolaBby**

**Dragon** :  _ oh???  _ **_Like what you see???_ **

**Mod PrinceBabey** has sent file  **TinyMan** to the  **GC**

**PrinceBabey** :  _ Far from it  _

**FoodForThought** : @ **WelcaVolcano** _HAHAHA SOMEONE GOT YOUR FACE WHEN THAT FLAREON ATTACKED YOU!!!!!_

**WelaVolcano** : **_I FEEL ATTACKED_ **

**Dragon** :...  _ oh _

**Drgon** : @ **PrinceBabey** _*Eyes Emoji* *Gun Emoji**Gun Emoji*_

**PrinceBabey** :  _ LEAVE ME ALONE _ **_I R I S_ **

**PrinceBabey** : in other news, Where’s the rest of y’all 

**ThottieHottie** :  _ *blank face emoji*  _

**PrinceBabey** : there’s Leon

**AdmiralHotPocket** : Thanks for the name Ash 

**PrinceBabey** : welcome Mr.Kabu!!!! 

**Dragon** : but why a hot pocket??? 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ cold on the outside, warm on the inside  _

**Dragon** : nvm I see it now 

**DeepBlue** : I’m Nessa 

**EmoShrek** :  **_WHY_ **

**PrinceBabey** : your  _ Emo Shrek _ Piers

**EmoShrek** : I’m going back to my nap 

**User EmoShrek** has fled the  **Chat!**

**PrinceBabey** : wait so that’s Leon, Raihan, Piers, Gordie, Auntie Melony, Kabu, Bea, Allister, Milo, and Nessa 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ S H I T _

**Dragon** : are you missing someone? 

**PrinceBabey** : **_I DONT. HAVE MY S. O. N._ **

**MothersAshes** :  _ YOUR WHAT  _

**DragonMaster** :  _ YOUR WHAT  _

**WhiteEmpress** :  _ YOUR WHAT  _

**GarchompMAX** :  _ YOUR WHAT _

**Mod PrinceBabey** has added **user** **GoGoGo** to the **Group Chat!**

**User GoGoGo** has entered the  **Chat!**

**GoGoGo** :  **_IT OS THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING A S H T O N_ **

**PrinceBabey** : I can’t slee _ dnjans _

**GoGoGo** :  _ I hope Scorbunny nocks your teeth in permanently for this  _

—————

Group Chat:  **Agressive Friendship**

**YaBigBoi** : so like…. 

**YaBigBoi** : the group chat count grows i see 

**YaBigBoi** : @ **PrinceBabey** care to explain whomst? 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has entered the  **Chat!**

**PrinceBabey** : everyone I added belongs to the Galar League, except Go 

**GoGoGo** :  _ I’m not your child  _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ your Babey so _ ,  **yes you are**

**GoGoGo** : fuck you 

**PrinceBabey** : fuck you too

**GoGoGo** : how do you even know all these people!?!? 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ this isn’t my first trip around the world????  _

**PrinceBabey** : how the _ f u c k _ did you think I was so close to Lugia 

**Gay** : I see Lugia got jealous that Tapu Koko visited you first last in Alola 

**PrinceBabey** : their stil arguing and I’m so fucking done with it 

**GoGoGo** :  _ what the fuk  _

**Gordisic** : @ **GoGoGo** you’ll get used to it 

**FatherlyKukui** : @ **GoGoGo** you get used to it 

**Gay** : @ **GoGoGo** you get used to it 

**GoGoGo** : wmsjskqm  _ ALRIGHTY  _ **_THEN_ **

**Drgon** : @ **PrinceBabey** _ *Eyes Emoji**Gun Emoji*  _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ I HAVE DONE NOTHING  _ **_W R O N G_ ** _ IRIS  _

**GreenDay** : whomst the fuck is a Scorbunny? 

**User GoGoGo** has sent Files  **Baby!!** ! To the  **GC!**

**GoGoGo** : Scorbunny is Baby!!! 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ the fucking devil is what it is  _

**GoGoGo** :  _ No! Scorbunny is not!!!!  _

**PrinceBabey** : Stupid Stinky Boy 

**GoGoGo** :  _ Noooo!!!!  _

**PrinceBabey** : Bastard Brat 

**GoGoGo** :  **_NNNNOOOOO!!!!!!_ **

**PrinceBabey** : oh! Which reminds me!!! 

**PrinceBabey** : @ **Dragon**

**Dragon** : wat 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has sent Files  **LoveBug** to the  **GC**

**Dragon** : _!!!! Oh good!!! That’s great!!!  _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ IK!!!! _ The Trapinch that you sent me has just evolved into a Vibrava!!! 

**Dragon** : is your Rowlet trying to help if fly!? 

**PrinceBabey** : Vibrada is  _ Baby™ _ okay? All my flying Pokémon have taken very keen interest in her training! 

**ThottieHottie** : I didn’t know Raihan gave you a Trapinch? 

**PrinceBabey** : oh?  _ Oh yeah!  _

**PrinceBabey** : Raihan came over to speak to Lance about something at the Kanto Castle, and I happened to be there at the same time

**PrinceBabey** : he was going to go searching for me afterwards because his Flygon has given birth to two eggs instead of one for the next upcoming trainer season for Galar 

**PrinceBabey** : so Raihan wanted to give me one as well because apparently I made a half witted comment about wanting a Flygon because of how good their sand attacks are or something 

**PrinceBabey** : now I have Emerald!!! She’s such a big love bug and like to curl around my shoulders if I’m just sitting down and reading 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : I didn’t know you  _ read _ Ash 

**GreenDay** : I’ve never seen you read a book before 

**MegaDragon** :  _ Ash???  _ **_Reading????_ **

**WaterMom** : @ **PrinceBabey** **_what have you done with our Ash_**

**PrinceBabey** :  _ hey!!!!!  _ I can like books!!!!  **:(**

**RockDad** : you  **_NEVER_ ** like reading!!! 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_that’s not true at all!!!!_ **

**Gay** : Ash is actually currently reading  _ Priory Of The Orange Tree by Author Samantha Shannon  _

**Gay** : I would particularly know because Ash dragged me to the newly open Powell’s book store in Pewter City so he could scan the LGBT+ book section 

**PrinceBabey** : I’ve even started over because I like reading out loud under my breath and my Pokémon had listened in half way and begged me to start over again from the beginning!!! 

**PrinceBabey** : now I read almost every night to Piakchu and a few others if I’m home 

**PrinceBabey** : but I haven’t been reading it recently **:(**

**PrinceBabey** : there’s no PDF. Version anywhere and I left the book at home because Gary picks up where I left off when I’m not home so my Pokémon can still listen in before bed time 

**PrinceBabey** : Rowlet, Emerald, and a few other of my “baby” Pokémon really like it when I read to them mostly 

**TrueTrueKalosQ** :  **_oh my god that’s so fucking cute!!!!_ **

**TrueKalosQueen** : my heart!!! Is literally bursting with love!!! 

**PrinceBabey** : ^-^ 

**GoGoGo** : you are such a Mom Ash 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_y’know_ **

**PrinceBabey** : With how my life has been so far, I’m not surprised I turned into the ultimate Mom Friend™ 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ speaking of  _

**PrinceBabey** : @ **WhyAmIAlive** **_PUT DOWN THAT COFFEE CUP_**

**WhyAmIAlive** : I CAN'T ENJOY ANYTHING!!!!

**PrinceBabey** : THATS YOUR FUCKING FIFTH CUP YOU SHIT ASS MOTHERFUCKER 

**ThottieHottie** : @ **PrinceBabey** where are you know tho Ash? 

**PrinceBabey** : hmm? 

**ThottieHottie** : I mean region wise

**PrinceBabey** : Oh! 

**PrinceBabey** : Unova 

**Drgon** :  **_W H E R E !?!!!?!??!!?_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  _ W _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ why!?  _

**Drgon** :  _ Bold Of You To Assume I Would Tell You  _

**Mod PrinceBabey** has added  **User Chloroform** to the  **Group Chat**

**Drgon** :  _ wait  _ **_what_ ** __

**User Chloroform** has entered the  **Chat!**

**Chloroform** :  _ Ash _ , I thought I told you to only add me if Iris is being an ass 

**PrinceBabey** : _ Iris  _ **_is_ ** _ being mean!!  _

**Chloroform** : how so? 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ she wants to  _ **_smack_ ** _ me!!!  _

**Chloroform** :  **@/** who ever the fuck is Iris in this obvious giant hellhole, leave Ash Alon, he’s busy 

**Drgon** :  _ and who the fuck are you!?!?  _

**Chloroform** : Georgia 

**GreenDay** :  **_oh my god Ash actually did it_ **

**Drgon** : WAIT WHAT 

**Dragon** :  _ HOW _

**Drgon** :  **_WHO_ **

**Drgon** : @ **PrinceBabey** **_HOW TO YOU HAVE G E O R G I A S PHONE NUMBER_**

**PrinceBabey** : Great Grantie Agatha 

**Chloroform** : we’re very distant cousins, I came from a different line that’s not Agatha’s or Ash’s line. I’m from the…. 

**Chloroform** : oldest sister to of the four???? 

**PrinceBabey** : lmao let me check my  **_Notes™_ **

**PapaDragon** : oh no there’s  **_More_ **

**Chloroform** : and whomst are you??? 

**PapaDragon** : Gym Leader Drayden 

**Chloroform** :  _ Oh _

**Chloroform** :  **_Ew._ **

**PapaDragon** : excuse me!? 

**Drgon** :  _ EXCUSE!?!?!?  _

**PrinceBabey** : I’m back and @ **Chloroform** ye your right, oldest great grand aunt -to my moms Line. 

**PrinceBabey** : I think your the same as Alain to me family wise. 

**Chloroform** : ah okay that makes sense 

**GreenDay** : I uh 

**GreenDay** : I have a question for you Georgia 

**Chloroform** : shoot 

**GreenDay** : why is your nickname Chloroform??? 

**PrinceBabey** : oh joy 

**Chloroform** : because I was a big stupid  _ dumbass _ and was kidnapped for some reason, which made Ash come and save me, and before the kidnappers could put a rag over my face

**Chloroform** : Ash busted through the door and kicked all their Ass’s via with actually physical violence 

**Chloroform** : you still haven’t taught me how you broke that guys neck Ash 

**PrinceBabey** : Out of the two of us, who had the legal license to Kill 

**Chloroform** : f a i r. But still 

**Chloroform** : after I was untied I picked up the rag, because I don’t know I had a lot of blood loss and was loopy, and Asked Ash what was on the rag because it smelled weird 

**Chloroform** : and without Ash being able to answer I shoved my nose and room a  **BIG** whiff 

**PrinceBabey** : and that’s how I ended up taking her to the hospital 

**Chloroform** : because I breath in chloroform

**Drgon** : wait 

**Drgon** : isn’t Chloroform really deadly???  _ How did you survive!?!?  _

**Chloroform** : @ **PrinceBabey**

**PrinceBabey** :  **_i plead the Unovian Fifth_ **

**Chloroform** : there’s your answer Iris 

**Chloroform** : but seriously Ash, come back out of the bathroom and help me with my Pokémon 

**Chloroform** : Snowrunt is being difficult 

**PrinceBabey** : oh sorry!! I’m coming!!! 

**User Chloroform** has fled the  **Chat!**

**Mod PrinceBabey** has fled the  **Chat!**

——————

**Champ.Leon** made a  **Private Chat** with  **Lead.Raihan**

**Champ.Leon** : I didn’t know you gave Ash a Trapinch egg? 

**Lead.Raihan** :  _ mhmm _

**Lead.Raihan** : what’s it to you? 

**Champ.Leon** : Nothing. 

**Lead.Raihan** :  _ oookaaaay _ , good to know you still lie through punctuation 

**Champ.Leon** :  _ Rai… _

**Lead.Raihan** :  **No**

**Lead.Raihan** : I’m not trying to guilt trip you Leon for being the Champion

**Lead.Raihan** : the only reason why I gave Ash the Trapinch egg was because Flygon birthed two instead of one like she normally does

**Lead.Raihan** : it wasn’t that long ago Ash made a comment about wanting a Flygon, but didn’t know a good breeder to get an egg from

**Lead.Raihan** : and you know how Ash is Leon 

**Lead.Raihan** : he doesn’t like bothering people more than he has to when it comes to this kind of stuff 

**Lead.Raihan** : even though if he did end up asking me, I totally would have breed him an egg in a month or two 

**Lead.Raihan** : if you’re also so keen on giving him a Pokémon, I suggest a Yamper 

**Champ.Leon** : a  _ Yamper?  _

**Lead.Raihan** : yeah a Yamper, he’s been infatuated with them for the longest of time. But Ash never had time out of family visits or business trips to Galar to go out and catch one of his own 

**Lead.Raihan** : he even has socks, slippers, sweatshirts, and a cap based off of Yamper 

**Champ.Leon** : are… 

**Champ.Leon** : are you serious!? 

**Lead.Raihan** : nope! 

**User Lead.Raihan** has sent Files  **Cutie** to the  **Chat!**

**Lead.Raihan** : he even had a onesie before it got too big for him 

**Champ.Leon** :  **_OhMyGodThatIsTheCutestThingEver_ **

**Champ.Leon** : _*praying hands*_ **_Holy Shit_**

**Lead.Raihan** :  _ Right!?  _

**Champ.Leon** : okay 

**Champ.Leon** :  _ alright _

**Lead.Raihan** : you good there Champ? 

**Champ.Leon** : yes 

**Champ.Leon** : maybe? 

**Champ.Leon** :  _ idk _ , I’ll text you later tho 

**Lead.Raihan** : alright

**Lead.Raihan** : just don’t forget, A Yamper 

**Champ.Leon** : a Yamper all right 

**Lead.Raihan** : good night then Leon, text you Tomorrow 

**Champ.Leon** : night Rai 

**User Lead.Raihan** has fled the  **Chat!**

**User Champ.Leon** has saved Files  **Cutie**

**Champ.Leon** :  _ holy shit I’m in so deep  _


	30. Ash is just like that, huh?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uuuhhhhh 
> 
> AlolaBeans: Hau 
> 
> PapaDragon: Drayden 
> 
> InternetExplorer: Colress 
> 
> I think that’s all the new chat names

Group Chat:  **Aggressive Friendship**

**Dragon** : _holy shit_ @ **MothersAshes** _your son is just like that_ ** _huh!?_**

**MothersAshes** : I have absolutely  _ no clue  _ what you’re referring to Raihan

**MothersAshes** :  **_Ash is many things_ **

User  **Dragon** has sent a  **Link** to the  **GC!**

**Dragon** : @ **HottieThottie** Flicker can bench press Cham and that is a  **_F A C T_ **

**HottieThottie** : :( 

**Dragon** :  **_face the facts Leon_ **

**Gordisic** :  **_HHHHHH FLICKER WAS JUST A CHARMANDER WHEN I LAST SAW IT_ **

**Gordisic** :  **_ITS SO FUCKING B. I. G. NOW_ **

**HottieThottie** :  **_: (_ **

**HottieThottie** : so what??? He’s a better flyer than Raihan!!! 

**DeepBlue** :  **B** old  **O** f  **Y** ou  **T** o  **A** ssume  **R** aihan  **C** ares 

**Dragon** :  **_^^^^^^^^^^^_ **

**Dragon** : Ash now owns  **_A L L_ ** of my Dragon Type UwU’s 

**DeepBlue** :  **_C_ ** ursed 

**EmoShrek** : now that’s  _ cursed  _ mate 

**Gordisic** :  _ Stop Being So  _ **_Cursed_ **

**BestBoy** : I don’t like that At All Sir, please top being cursed 

**HottieThottie** : haha 

**Dragon** : at least I wasn’t like @ **HottieThottie** and accidentally got drunk,  _ while underaged,  _ at his Champion after party his  _ first fucking  _ **_year_ **

**Dragon** : and then tried to go dance on the strip pole 

**Dragon** : which  **@/** Rose,  **_why would a grown ass man hire strippers for a fucking TEN YEAR OLD BOY!?!?_ **

**EmoShrek** : ew 

**DeepBlue** :  **E** w 

**BestBoy** : oh my  _ heavens  _

**Gordisic** : @ **AuntieMel** mom can you kill Rose? 

**AuntieMel** : I’m  **_trying_ ** , but the league is only giving Ash the license to kill anyone he so chooses

**HottieThottie** : wat 

**Dragon** :  **_WHAT_ **

**FatherlyKukui** :  **_EXCUSE ME!?!?!?_ **

**WhyAmIAlive** : @ **AshesToAshes** WHEN DID YOU GET A LICENSE TO  **_K I L L!?!?!?_ **

**PapaDragon** : @ **All** , and I can’t believe I’m going to say this but 

**PapaDragon** : WHOMST GAVE ASH THE DIRECT PRIVILEGE TO KILL 

User  **DragonMaster** has entered the  **Group Chat!**

**DragonMaster** : @ **All** I called it Y’ALL 

**DragonMaster** : @ **GarchompMAX** YOU OWE ME SO MUCH MONEY 

**GarchompMAX** :  _ I h a t e you so  _ **_much_ **

**DragonMaster** :  _ h a h a h a h a  _

**DragonMaster** : @ **PapaDragon** to answer you, the ILHC Lucifuge gave it to Ash under direct order 

**PapaDragon** : …. 

**PapaDragon** :  **_that doesn’t explain SHIT Lance_ **

**PapaDragon** :  **_HOW L O N G_ **

**DragonMaster** : _ H H H H H H  _ **_H H H H H H H_ **

**DragonMaster** : since….  **the end of Johto**

**GreenDay** : * _ breathes in deeply _ *  **_w. h. y._ **

**Land** : * _ softly, but with a  _ **_lot_ ** _ of feeling _ *  **_holy shit_ **

**TooPure** : I mean…. 

**TooPure** :  _ it makes sense  _

**SupremeEdge** :  **_MY OWN LITTLE SISTER AGREES!?!?!?_ **

**WelaFire** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Land** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**FoodForThought** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**ElectricSN** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Drgon** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Gay** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**GreenDay** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**MegaDragon** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**FlameLesbian** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**SketchMe** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**WaterMom** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**RockDad** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**DTF** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**AuraBuggie** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Con.King** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**ElectricNerd** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Con.Queen** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**WhyAmIAlive** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**TrueKalosQueen** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**sQurtile** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**FuCk™** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**GreenNMean** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Chespie#1** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**AtMyBest** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Run** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**StopMePls** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**@Me** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Don’t@Me** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Ritchie** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Silver** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**ButterMeUp** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**GreenViridian** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**BlueMe** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**PirateBoxers** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Maxie** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**GhostMeMaybe** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**K.Hapu** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Prof.Colress** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Chloroform** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**GhostBab** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**FightMeB** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Cheezy** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**BigSis** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**YaBoi** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**AlolaBeans** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**Gordisic** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji**eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji**eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji**eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**DeepBlue** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**BestBoy** : *eyes emoji* *Gun Emoji*

**DragonMaster** : because it’s been documented that even though Ash has a lot of mental and physical problems, thanks to the Gods being big babies and throwing tantrums along with other things, Ash is the most physical fit along with having the best moral code out of everyone 

**DragonMaster** : no one can completely sway his opinion on things and if he  _ will  _ achieve whatever he puts his mind to. Though he is also really attuned to both Human and Pokémon emotions and wants 

**DragonMaster** : so the ILHC, known as Lucifuge, gave Ash the licence to kill anyone he so chooses to. Also because Ash works really closely to the International Police Force and he always ends up killing  _ someone  _ for the necessity to keep the major group of innocent people alive 

**DragonMaster** : but also mostly because Ash won’t have to get trialed and jailed every time he kills someone  **_B_ ** _ ad™  _ during the end of the world 

**DragonMaster** : which is ridiculously fucking DUMB, but that Police and League laws 

**DragonMaster** : and there’s a lot more into the issue  _ why  _ Mr. Lucifuge did so, but I can’t disclose it to anyone under the Champion position 

**GreenDay** : what is the ILHC Lucifuge??? The name sounds familiar 

**DragonMaster** : International League Head Chairman, Lucifuge 

**DragonMaster** : so like…. everyone in the Leagues  _ Boss’s  _ **_Boss_ ** __

**Mod PrinceBabey** has entered the  **Group Chat!**

**PrinceBabey** : oh!!! 

**PrinceBabey** : Y’all are talking about Lucy!!!!! 

**DragonMaster** :  **_l u c y_ **

**WhiteEmpress** :  _ Ash….  _

**PrinceBabey** : hm??? 

**WhiteEmpress** : do you

**WhiteEmpress** : do you personally know Head-Head Chairman, Lucifuge???? 

**PrinceBabey** : oh yeah!!!!!! :D 

**PrinceBabey** : Lucy and me go  **_way_ ** back, he was my other friend outside of Gary before he left for his journey the same year Gary started bullying me 

**Gay** :  _ ;-;  _

**Gay** :  _ I’m still  _ **_sorry_ ** _ about that  _

**PrinceBabey** : **_NO!!!!_** _STOP APOLOGIZING FOR THE PAST GARY!!!!!_

**PrinceBabey** : we talked and everything’s good now!!!  **_Okay!?!?!?_ **

**Gay** :  _ okay _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_G. O. O. D._ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_I. love. you_ ** ,  _ asshole _

**Gay** : I love you to, Ash 

**HelpMePls** : I’ve known Ash for around 6 years now and I’m still  **_Shooked™_ ** every time he comes on to the chat to  _ Aggressively Love™ _ someone 

**HelpMePls** : like, I’m scared because he’s so tiny… yet he holds all this love inside him 

**PrinceBabey** : **_I Will Love The World Because The World Will Not Love Itself_ **

**PrinceBabey** : plus everyone here is malnourished in the Family Love section and I’ll be fucking DAMNED if I can’t do anything to fix that 

**AlolaBeans** : your like a Mom, Dad, Uncle, Aunt, Grandma, and Grandpa all rolled up in one person.  _ Huh?  _

**SketchMe** : @ **AlolaBeans** so basically what your getting at is that….

**SketchMe** :  _ Ash is babey _

**AlolaBeans** : Yes and No 

**AlolaBeans** : Ash is babey, yes 

**AlolaBeans** : but Ash is  **THE** Babey

**PrinceBabey** : so does my chat name mean  _ nothing  _ to you two???

**PrinceBabey** : A N Y W A Y S 

**PrinceBabey** : Go is about to get his  _ Ass Kicked™ _ by my Feraligatr because he keeps annoying him 

**Gay** : I’m watching it all go down, and  **Y’ALL**

**User** **Gay** has sent **Files AndI** to the **GC!**

**User Gay** has sent  **Files Woop!** To the  **GC!**

**PrinceBabey** : ALSJS1937:!wmsn 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_G. A. R. R. I. S. O. N._ **

**PrinceBabey** : DON'T JUST STAND THERE!!! HELP ME!!!! 

**Gay** :  _ nah _ , the kid deserves to get his ass kicked 

**PrinceBabey** : what about you trying to change your asshole ways!?!?! 

**Gay** : that was a promise to stop being an asshole to  **_you_ **

**Gay** :  _ everyone is still free game  _

**Mod PrinceBabey** has changed **User** **Gay’s** chat name to **CountryTwink!**

**CountryTwink** : what were you hoping to accomplish???? 

**SketchMe** :  _ you just gave Gary a more accurate name Ash  _

**PrinceBabey** :  _ JUST HELP PLEASE!!!!  _

**User SketchMe** has sent  **Video ThereHeGo** to the  **GC!**

**Land** : your water Pokémon are  **_FERAL_ ** Ash 

**PrinceBabey** : their never like this!!!!! I swear!!! 

**CountryTwink** : Go just accidentally on Snapple’s tail while he was sleeping 

**RockDad** : @ **PrinceBabey** you named your Feraligatr 

**RockDad** :  **_S n a p p l e_ **

**PrinceBabey** : WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT I LET MY POKÉMON 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ N A M E. T H E M S E L V E S.  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_Karen_ **

**RockDad** : YOU TAKE THAT B A C K 

**User AdmiralHotPocket** has joined the  **GC!**

**AdmiralHotPocket** : is it always this, @ **Dragon** @ **Gordisic** what do you kids call it again?

**Gordisic** : Feral? 

**Dragon** : Cryptid? 

**Gordisic** : Bat Shit Crazy? 

**Dragon** : Insane? 

**Gordisic** : Chaotic? 

**AdmiralHotPocket** : Chaotic! That’s it. 

**Gordisic** : so far, yeah Mr.Kabu 

**PrinceBabey** : good morning Mr.Kabu! 

**DragonMaster** : @ **PrinceBabey** is Kabu the only one you’ll take Mr. to???? 

**PrinceBabey** : because he’s the only one that gets that title of respect 

**TooPure** : then what do you call our one Godly figure @ **FatherKukui** ?? 

**FatherlyKukui** :  _ P l e a s e _ don’t bring me into this 

**PrinceBabey** : Professor and Dad 

**FatherlyKukui** : …. 

**Mod FatherlyKukui** has  **fled** the  **Chat!**

**User InternetExplorer** as entered the  **group chat!**

**InternetExplorer** : @ **PrinceBabey** _please stop making the Akamu cry Ash_

**PrinceBabey** : :p 

**InternetExplorer** : Ash,  **please** , we’re in Public at the moment and we don’t n e e d this 

**PrinceBabey** : !!!!!! >:O 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_I FORGOT THE CLASS WAS IN GALAR_ **

**PrinceBabey** : @ **AdmiralHotPocket** have you met @ **WelaFire** yet???? 

**PrinceBabey** : Kiawe is one of the  _ best _ fire type trainers that I ever had the pleasure of meeting!!! He’s so  _ strong _ and  **_amazing_ ** and takes  _ oh _ so good care of his Pokémon!!! 

**WelaFire** :  **_ASH_ **

**Land** : Kiawe crying:  _ stop embarrassing me, Mom!  _

**WelaFire** :  **_L A N A_ **

**FoodForThough** : Kiawe crying: What is this feeling????  _ love and appreciation????  _ **_Acknowledgement????????_ **

**WelaFire** :  **_M. A. L. L. O. W._ **

**PrinceBabey** : @ **WelaFire** <3 

**WelaFire** : hhhh _HHH_ **_H H H H_**

**WelaFire** : @ **PrinceBabey** <3 

**Land** :  _ That’s Gay  _

**SupremeEdge** :  _ That’s Gay  _

**FoodForThought** :  _ That’s Gay  _

**ElectricSN** :  _ That’s Gay  _

**TooPure** :  _ That’s Gay  _

**AlolaBeans** :  _ That’s Gay  _

**K.Hapu** :  _ That’s Gay  _

**WelaFire** : _UP_ **SH UT**

**CountryTwink** : that’s the second fastest call out I’ve ever seen 

**Dragon** :  _ what was the first????  _

**CountryTwink** : when @ **AuraBuggy** misspelled Smack as Smakle and got the  **_whole_ ** chat to come on and call him out by repeating the word 

**AuraBuggy** :  _ UP SHUT YOUR FUCK  _ **_GARY_ ** __

**CountryTwink** :  _ never _

**CountryTwink** : granted we actually had a few less people in the chat at the time 

**PrinceBabey** : I got Go away from Snapple, and now going back over my  **Notes™** again 

**CountryTwink** :  **_Leave The Family Tree Alone Ash_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_No_ ** _ , Because Something’s Bothering Me About It And I Found Out What It Is  _

**PrinceBabey** : @ **FatherlyKukui** @ **Chloroform**

**PrinceBabey** : you two are related and that also makes Professor Kukui related to me as well 

**PrinceBabey** : apparently the reason why you two didn’t know is because Great Grand Aunt #1 has an affair and that’s how Georgia’s Lineage came to be 

**Chloroform** :  _ our family just descended from a bunch of  _ **_Bitch Ass Thots_ ** _ huh?  _

**DragonMaster** :  **_don’t let Agatha heat you say that_ **

**MothersAshes** :  **_Georgia Is Right And Should Say It Lance_ **

**PrinceBabey** : @ **AdmiralHotPocket** @ **WelaFire** _but back to the original topic!!!!_

**Dragon** : the original topic was talking about you and Flicker, but Weird Flex ‘aight 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_??????_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  _ anyways!!!  _

**Gordisic** : @ **Dragon** **get swerved**

**Dragon** :  _ Swerve _ into this  **fist** Gordie

**AdmiralHotPocket** : yes Ash, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting young Kiawe and he was quite a pleasure 

**Land** : Coming back on here just to tell Ash that Kiawe has  _ Broken Down™  _ and is no longer able to make words 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_g o o d_ **

**PrinceBabey** : Kiawe should be acknowledged for being a great trainer to his Pokémon!!! 

**InternetExplorer** :  _ stop break your friends Ash  _

**PrinceBabey** : if it means they’ll be rebuilt back up with the knowledge that I Love them and will go to the end of the earth for them, then No 

**EmoShrek** : your just like  **_That_ ** , huh? 

**PrinceBabey** : I mean 

**PrinceBabey** : I would  _ literally _ kill anyone for my friends/family 

**PrinceBabey** : but go off, I guess 


	31. Stay In Your Parental Lane

Group chat:  **Aggressive Friendship**

**MegaDragon** :  _ can I  _ **_FINALLY_ ** _ get answer  _

**RockDad** : ???? About what???? 

**MegaDragon** :  _ WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK IS A  _ **_M E W T W O!?!?!?!?_ **

**User GoGoGo** has entered the  **GC!**

**GoGoGo** :  _ Ash is crushing me in his sleep  _

**CountryTwink** : @ **GoGoGo** you have my condolences 

**SketchMe** : @ **GoGoGo** you have my condolences 

**RockDad** : @ **GoGoGo** you have my condolences 

**ElectricNerd** : @ **GoGoGo** you have my condolences 

**GreenDay** : @ **GoGoGo** you have my condolences 

**GoGoGo** : good to know  _ everyone _ a cryptid in this chat tonight 

**GreenDay** :  _ to you _ , it’s five AM over here 

**GoGoGo** : and where the fuck is “ **_here_ ** ” 

**GreenDay** :  **_Wude_ **

**GreenDay** : also  _ Unova _

**GoGoGo** : where the fuck is everyone from!?!? 

**MegaStone** : just assume EVERYWHERE 

**GoGoGo** : that’s fair, Ash got tackled by someone named Bianca while we were in Unova a few days ago 

**Drgon** : @ **PrinceBabey** **_swerve_** _into this_ ** _FIST_** _Ash_

**Drgon** : you’re just avoiding me kicking your ass 

**GreenDay** : Iris we fully know that you can’t take Ash in a fight 

**Drgon** :  **_I SO TOO CAN!!!!!!!!!!_ **

**GreenDay** : Iris 

**GreenDay** : _ I r i s _

**GreenDay** :  **_I. R. I. S._ **

**GreenDay** :  _ Ash fist fought Reshiram and fucking  _ **_w o n_ **

**GreenDay** :  **_you don’t stand for shit against Ash_ **

**GreenDay** : but you probably can against Alder 

**MegaStone** :  _ anyone _ can Just fight Alder and win Cilan 

**MegaStone** :  _ it’s not that hard  _

**GreenDay** :  _ wks2&:$ sskjw  _

**Drgon** : you  _ good _ there buddy? 

**GreenDay** :  _ when a different Professor from a different Region gets your name right when your own boss for the past  _ **_seven years_ ** _ doesn’t  _

**GreenDay** :  **_even when you correct him over 500 different times_ **

**MegaStone** :  _ oh douce  _ **_enfant_ **

**MegaStone** : @ **BidFool** _my child now you_ ** _motherfucker_**

**RockDad** : @ **MegaStone** I already declared Cilan as my child  _ first _ and you have your own fucking group of kids already 

**RockDad** :  **_stay in your parental lane Augustine_ **

**GreenDay** : YOUR ABANDONED PARENTS WOULD NEVER!!!!! 

**MegaStone** : Oh mon Dieu _yoU’RE_ **_RIGHT_**

**MegaStone** : @ **TrueKalosQueen** @ **TrueTrueKalosQ** @ **sQurtile** @ **FuCk™** @ **GreenNMean** @ **MegaDragon** @ **Chespie#1** @ **AtMyBest** @ **Electricnerd** @ **HoundDoom** @ **WhiteEmpress**

**MegaStone** : ❤️❤️❤️

**TrueKalosQueen** :  _ Oh mY GOd!?!?  _

**sQurtile** :  _ Y’ALL _ **_I-_ **

**FuCk™** : IM CRYING IN THIS CHILIS TONIGHT I CAN’T  **DEAL WITH THIS MUCH AFFECTION**

**TrueTrueKalosQ** : hhhHHHH _AAAA_ **_A A A A A A_**

**AtMyBest** :  _ Ah Parental Affection,  _ **_Motherfucker?_ **

**GreenNMean** :  **damn** , an adult that actually  **tolerates** me? 

**ElectricNerd** :  _ I’m not even your kid?????? _

**Chespie#1** :❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ YOU TOO PROFESSOR!!!!!!! 

**User MegaDragon** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**HoundDoom** : why the  **_F U C K_ ** am I in this list!?!?

**WhiteEmpress** : ❤️❤️❤️ you to Augustine

**MegaStone** : okay so

**MegaStone** : I’m worried about more than 90% of your responses. So do not believe that my lab isn’t a safe place for all of you!!! 

**MegaDragon** : And @ **HoundDoom** you and Diantha are my kids, it’s indisputable and final 

**MegaDragon** : and if you don’t mind me I’m going to go comfort my oldest son now. 

**User MegaDragon** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**GoGoGo** : in other news

**GoGoGo** : Ash woke up and had made some kind of drink aNksjsWKDJUSHW

**Mod PrinceBabey** has entered the  **GC!**

**PrinceBabey** : Go is gagging on my  _ Creation™  _ and I don’t like this  **MUTINY**

**GoGoGo** : IT TASTES LIKE  _ S L U D G E  _

**PrinceBabey** : yeah

**PrinceBabey** : but it’s  _ Caffeinated _ sludge 

**GoGoGo** : how do you liVE!?

**PrinceBabey** : I don’t Go

**PrinceBabey** : Anyways!!! 

**GoGoGo** : why am I partners with you? 

**PrinceBabey** : because Professor Oak 

**PrinceBabey** : ANYWAYS!!! 

**GoGoGo** : Arceus Christ 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has added  **User YampQueen** to the  **GC!**

**User YampQueen** has entered the  **GC!**

**YampQueen** : @ **PrinceBabey** _if it weren’t for the laws of this land Ash I swear to Zacian and Zamazenta I would have gutted your balls from your dick_

**Dragon** : A R C E U S CHRIST SONIA!!!! 

**PrinceBabey** : @ **YampQueen** _Bold Of You To Assume I Had Any Balls To Begin With_

**YampQueen** : shit

**YampQueen** : honestly forgot you’re Trans 

**PrinceBabey** : a lot of people usually do 

**YampQueen** : how many fucking people are on here now???? 

**PrinceBabey** : a. l. o. t. 

**Prof.Burnet** : ah! Assistant Sonia! 

**YampQueen** : wksjs2:8$:

**YampQueen** : hel _ LO PROFESSOR _ **_BURNET_ **

**Dragon** : *Eyes Emoji* 

**HottieThottie** : *Eyes Emoji* 

**DeepBlue** : *Eyes Emoji* 

**EmoShrek** : *Eyes Emoji* 

**Gordisic** *Eyes Emoji* 

**Prof.Burnet** : how is studying under your Grandmother? I heard she can be quite the handful 

**YampQueen** : just a tiny bit, but it’s nice to spend so much time with her when I couldn’t when I was younger 

**Prof.Burnet** : oh that’s so sweet2&:$:!

**User Prof.Burnet** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**YampQueen** :  _ what the  _ **_fuck_ ** _ just happend!?!?  _

**Mod FatherlyKukui** has entered the  **GC!**

**FatherlyKukui** : _ in other news _

**FatherlyKukui** : Burnet has fallen down a flight of stairs at her work because she didn’t look where she was going 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_!!!!!!_ **

**PrinceBabey** : is she okay!?!?!? 

**YampQueen** : oh no! Is she okay!? 

**WelaFire** : oh no Professor! 

**FoodForThought** : yikes!!! I know how that feels 

**Land** : yowza, how many flights?

**FatherlyKukui** : only two tiny flights 

**PrinceBabey** : ONLY  _ T W O !?!?  _

**YampQueen** : TWO ISNT TINY PROFESSOR KUKUI!!!

**FatherlyKukui** : she’s fine everyone! But her phones not. No injuries at all and she’s okay! 

**PrinceBabey** : **_;-; ;-; ;-;_ **

**FatherlyKukui** : Don’t worry Ash, I’ll make sure she’ll call you using my phone after taking her to the emergency center just in case something bad was bruised 

**PrinceBabey** : okay…. 

**FatherlyKukui** : I’m Serious Ash, she’ll call you later

**FatherlyKukui** : now get off and go eat your caffeinated sludge 

**PrinceBabey** : alright then 

**PrinceBabey** : good night/early morning to you all! 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**ElectricSN** : I can probably help save some stuff from her phone Professor! 

**ElectricSN** : I’ve member worked on an iPhone body before 

**FatherlyKukui** : that’s up for Burnet to decide, Soph’ but for now let’s just let it be 

**ElectricSN** : Alright Professor 

**WaterMom** : I’ve never seen anyone, besides Brock, Dad Ash more Successfully then Professor Kukui 

**Land** : Ash kicks up the  _ Dad Instinct™  _

**RockDad** :  _ it’s true, but you  _ **_shouldn’t_ ** _ say it  _

**RockDad** : but back to @ **GreenDay** saying that his parents abandoned him

**GreenDay** : I feel anger emanating from my phone and I do  **NOT** like this 

**RockDad** : it’s not aimed at you son 

**GreenDay** :  **_ejdjsn2 &/7!_ **

**User GreenDay** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**Drgon** : _ !!!!!  _

**Drgon** : be careful with this string bean 

**Drgon** : he’s FRAGILE 

**Chloroform** : I have to agree he is quite emotionally unstable 

**RockDad** : got my work cut out for me

**RockDad** : good thing I’m not a gym leader anymore 

**RockDad** : @ **AuraBuggie** we have a child to go comfort 

**Mod AuraBuggie** has entered the  **GC!**

**AuraBuggie** : wksjsn 

**DTF** : has Brcok and Riley just been secretly dating all this time? 

**RockDad** : I don’t give a shit about that question, I’m disappointed a little that you spelt my name wrong 

**DTF** :  _ wuh _

**RockDad** : and yes, @ **AuraBuggie** we have a child now fucker 

**AuraBuggie** : I diDN’T ASK FOR T H I S 

**RockDad** : shouldn’t have called me Daddy then 

**RockDad** : Fucker 

**AuraBuggie** : WLSISNS 

**AuraBuggie** : I ASKED FOR THIS!!!!! 

**RockDad** : see you in a weeks time in Unova Riley 

**Drgon** : can I hope on this dad train? 

**RockDad** : I thought @ **PapaDragon** was your guardian 

**Drgon** : oh  _ no _

**Drgon** : _he_ **_IS_**

**Drgon** : he’s just super emotionally stunted and it’s hard to even get a hello out of him, much less praises and love 

**RockDad** :  _ Damn Never Mind  _

**RockDad** :  **_I’m Heading To Unova Right This Second To Go Kick Some Dragon Tamer Ass_ **

**User RockDad** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**PapaDragon** : wait f u c k 

**User PapaDragon** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**Drgon** : now I can see why Ash had that mental breakdown last year 

**Drgon** :  _ is this what a panic attack feels like???  _

**Drgon** :  **_I’m-_ **

**User** **Drgon** has **Fled** the **GC!**

**Chloroform** : her phone has been taken and I am no squashing her into her bed 

**Chloroform** : does anyone know if she experienced any other panic attacks before? 

**StopMePls** :  _ no Iris hasn’t  _ **_;-;_ **

**Chloroform** : @ **PrinceBabey** **_get your ass to Unova right this fucking second_**

**User Chloroform** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**GoGoGo** : Ash just read that over my shoulder and is now cancelling our tickets to Galar instead of for Unova

**GoGoGo** : the direct opposite of where we need to  _ Fucking  _ **_Go_ ** __

**@Me** :  _ Ash is coming in clutch as the parent/sibling friend  _

**Mod PrinceBabey** has entered the  **GC!**

**PrinceBabey** :  _ my friends are being threatened and already entering panic attacks  _

**PrinceBabey** : @ **RockDad** _last one there doesn’t get to kick Drayden and Cilan brothers_ ** _asses_**

**PrinceBabey** :  _ :)  _

**Mod PrinceBabey** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**GoGoGo** : we have  _ RESEARCH _ **_A S H_ **

——————

Group Chat:  **Privat PM**

**Leon** :  _ I am _

**Leon** :  **_SO FUCKING CLOSE TO SCREAMING_ **

**Sonia** : I don’t feel sorry for you 

**Leon** :  _ THE EGG IS ABOUT TO  _ **_HATCH S O O N SONIA_ **

**Leon** : _ IT COULD VERY WELL  _ **_HATCH_ ** _ BEFORE HE COMES TO GALAR  _

**Sonia** : haha _ r I p _

**Hop** : what are you screamin’ about an egg Lee? 

**Leon** : nothing that you need to know ‘bout HopScotch 

**Raihan** : Lee has a crush and is trying to give them a Yamper Egg 

**Hop** : LEE!!!!! 

**Leon** :  **_R A I H A N_ ** _ YOU  _ **_B I T C H_ **

**Raihan** : _ I don’t regret anything  _


	32. Wiffleball bat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wiffleball bats are cursed objects and I refuse to have my mind changed about it

Group Chat:  **Aggressive Friendship**

**GoGoGo** : this just in 

**GoGoGo** : @ **PrinceBabey** is a big ass baby and is now crying over a Yamper 

**PrinceBabey** : @ **QueenYamp** _your Yamper is so cute_ ** _;-; ;-; ;-;_**

**QueenYamp** : thank you!!! Queenie really likes you Ash! 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_AND ITS NAME IS QUEENIE_ **

**Dragon** : @ **HottieThottie** _ *eyes emoji* *eyes emoji* *eyes emoji*  _

**HottieThottie** : shut the **FUCK UP** _r a h a i n_

**HottieThottie** : @ **PrinceBabey** are you and Go at the labs? 

**PrinceBabey** : I am!! But Go and Professor Sonia are out and about collecting data! 

**HottieThottie** : @ **QueenYamp** I’m crashing at your place for the weekend 

**QueenYamp** :  **_b o i_ **

**HottieThottie** :  _ hit me later  _

**QueenYamp** : this better be successful!!!  _ You hear me!!!!  _

**HottieThottie** : S H  _ U  _ **_T_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  _????  _

**HottieThottie** : it’s nothing Ash 

**PrinceBabey** : ah okay! 

**HelpMePls** :  **_OUR CALANDERS FROM LAST YEAR FINALLY FUCKING CAME IN_ **

**SStone** : Arceus fucking Arceus calm the fuck down Wallace 

**HelpMePls** :  **_N O_ **

**RockDad** :weosidn  _ Arceus fucking Arceus  _

**SStone** : s h u t 

**HelpMePls** : did you get yours Ash??? 

**PrinceBabey** : hah 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ I burned mine  _

**PrinceBabey** : mom has one though!

**CountryGay** : Ash hates it

**PrinceBabey** : I do 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_I REALLY FUCKIN DO_ **

**HelpMePls** : wh

**SStone** : you two broke my husband 

**SStone** : … 

**SStone** :  **_again_ **

**PrinceBabey** : you can’t see it but I have a really big smug grin rn 

**SStone** : asshole 

**CountryGay** : so do I 

**SStone** : ah, my bad 

**SStones** : Asshole _ ( _ **_s_ ** _ )  _

**CountryGay** : rude 

**PrinceBabey** : WUDE 

**HottieThottie** : ASH 

**HottieThottie** : LET ME  **_IIIINNNNN_ **

**PrinceBabey** :wksisb was 

**PrinceBabey** : then I gotta put Queenie down 

**HottieThottie** :  **_a s h_ **

**PrinceBabey** : ;-; 

**HottieThottie** :  **_A S H_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_;-;_ **

**HottieThottie** : I brought you a present and you  **_REALLY_ ** need to come open the door

**PrinceBabey** : !!!!! 

**PrinceBabey** : you didn’t need to get me anything!!! 

**PrinceBabey** : I was just joking!!! I’m coming right now!!!! 

**WaterMom** : any kind of present gets Ash motivated *Eyes Emoji* 

**PrinceBabey** : you’re not wrong

**PrinceBabey** : but shukjregkjhb 

**PrinceBabey** : LEON GOT ME A FUCKING BABY  **Y A M P E R**

**PrinceBabey** :  **_AND ITS A FUCKING S H I N Y_ **

**PrinceBabey** : **;-; ;-; ;-; ;-; ;-; ;-; ;-;**

**HottieThottie** : @ **AshesMother** @ **PapaKukui** @ **CountryGay** _I promise their happy tears_

**User Dragon** has sent  **video OhShit** to the  **GC**

**User Dragon** has sent  **Files HeGo** to the  **GC**

**Dragon** : and I got everything on camera!!!! 

**HottieThottie** :  _ r i a h a n  _

**Dragon** : >:3c c 

**DeepBlue** :  **C** ursed, good sir 

**Dragon** : I’ll take it because Ash is being so cute with his new Yamper 

**HottieThottie** : he named it…. 

**PrinceBabey** : HIS NAME IS  **_S C O O T S_ **

**QueenYamp** :  _ oh my Zacian he named it  _ **_scoots_ ** __

**QueenYamp** : he’s so precious!!! 

**CountryGay** : Really Ash 

**CountryGay** :  _ the first time you get a Yamper and you name it  _

**CountryGay** :  **_S C O O T S !?_ **

**SupremeEdge** : what happen to letting your Pokemon name themselves

**PrinceBabey** :  _ Bold Of You To Assume Scoots Is Battling And Leveling Up  _

**SupremeEdge** : wait your not gonna level up your Yamper!?!?

**PrinceBabey** : hell no 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ well…  _

**PrinceBabey** : not  _ YET  _

**SupremeEdge** : _ *Eyes Emoji*  _

**PrinceBabey** : SHUT  _ U P  _

**PrinceBabey** : you’ll actually make me cry Gladion 

**PrinceBabey** : and they won't be happy tears 

**SupremeEdge** : didn say nothin

**Dragon** : holy SHIT 

**Dragon** : so Scoots can Dynamax 

**PrinceBabey** :!!!! He can become a big boi!!!! 

**PrinceBabey** :  _ SPEAKING ABOUT DYNAMAXING!!!  _

**Mod PrinceBabey** has sent  **Files Chungachu** to the  **GC**

**PrinceBabey** :  _ HE NO LONGER BABY,  _ **_HE WANT P O W E R_ **

**CountryGay** : ARCEUS FUCKING  _ ARCEUS  _

**WaterMom** : WKDUSB **KSJEB**

**WaterMom** : seeing Pikachu like that reminds me of your first year with him 

**RockDad** :  **_W H E E Z E_ **

**RockDad** : HES SO  _ FAT  _

**PrinceBabey** : LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! 

**PrinceBabey** : Pikachu is doing his best!!! 

**CountryGay** : his best apparently ain’t good enough going on the fact you lost to Leon 

**PrinceBabey** : if I were home and had Wiffleball bat I swear to the Gods 

**CountryGay** :  _ come near me with that cursed fat ass orange plastic shit of a bat and I’ll hit you over the head with my metal one  _

**PrinceBabey** : oh? 

**PrinceBabey** :  **OH?**

**PrinceBabey** : what are you gonna do with that big bat? Gonna hit me?  _ Better make it count. Better make it hurt.  _ **_Better kill me In one shot_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_Because the Wiffleball bat will do all that and then shove itself into the next snowman’s stomach_ **

**ElectricNerd** : you guys good? 

**CountryGay** :  **_Wiffleball bats cursed_ **

**PrinceBabey** :  **_Wiffleball bats cursed_ **

**ElectricNerd** :... 

**ElectricNerd** :  _ alrighty then  _

**WelaFire** : what in the Tapu’s name is a Wiffleball bat? 

**CountryGay** :  _ oh joy  _

**PrinceBabey** :  **_OH J O Y_ **

**PrinceBabey** : LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU 

**PrinceBabey** : YOUNG @ **WelaFire**

**WelaFire** : I feel like I made a very grave mistake 

**User BlueMe** has entered the  **GC!**

**BlueMe** : oh  _ shit  _

**BlueMe** : is Ash going to explain the  **_Wiffleball bat!?_ **

**BlueMe** : such a  **_C_ ** u r s e d object 

**PrinceBabey** : fucking HUSH Blue 

**BlueMe** : sorry  _ sorry _

**BlueMe** :  **_continue_ **

**PrinceBabey** : G O O D 

**PrinceBabey** : so!  _ Nobody  _ knows where the fuck the Wiffleball bat came from 

**PrinceBabey** : Red just found it in the garage and brought it out for some kind of game when we were younger way back 

**PrinceBabey** : ever since it’s been a nightmare 

**PrinceBabey** : we used it so many times to  **_PHYSICALLY_ ** beat down each other 

**User GreenViridian** has entered the  **GC!**

**GreenViridian** : my balls still have a bruised shape match of the Wiffleball hitting it 

**User GreenViridian** has fled the  **GC!**

**BlueMe** : the back of my skull is still so flat from Green and then Ash hitting it with their full might without knowing it would slip from their hands and hit me in the back of the head 

**BlueMe** : I’ve had to go into the E.R. Like five times for just those two instances

**CountryGay** : the local Nurse Joy and the Hospital knows us by first name basis,

Still, because of how often we got injured by that  _ Arceus Damn  _ **_Wiffleball bat_ **

**PrinceBabey** : I don’t physically or mentally remember me doing this but apparently I’ve met Lance before when Red was bringing him home to stay over so he didn’t have to sleep at a hotel 

**PrinceBabey** : something something something Professor Oak needed him or the other way around 

**PrinceBabey** : and I somehow hit Lance in the nuts with all the force of a five year old could have the first day he was here and then promptly forgot the memories 

**ButterMeUp** : how the fuck could you forget about that!? 

**PrinceBabey** : Childhood Machine Broke 

**ButterMeUp** : that’s fair 

**PrinceBabey** : Also trauma 

**Silver** : that’s even more fair 

**User BluePetal** has entered the  **GC!**

**BluePetal** : isn’t that the same bag you used to threaten Entei with? 

**PrinceBabey** :  **_HELL A YEAH IT IS_ **

**User Cheezy** has entered the  **GC!**

**Cheezy** : ah yes 

**Cheezy** :  **_the Wiffleball Bat_ **

**Cheezy** : I’ve threatened at least 90% of the Poké Dexers with it 

**Cheezy** : keeps’em in line 

**Cheezy** : @ **PrinceBabey** to clarify, I was bringing Lance to our house and into pallet town for the first time because Professor Oak couldn’t come to the E4 castle because Gary and Daisy were sick at the same time and he couldn’t leave them 

**Cheezy** : so I brought him to our house and you though he was a weird creep following me home and came running out of the house with Green and Blue chasing after you 

**Cheezy** : whipping by me and wound the bat up to hit Lance in the dick while flying by and the force made you spin around and slam the bat into Lances back before he could bend down to cup his dick 

**Cheezy** : you were a proud little fucker and didn’t stand down when mom came out to yell at you 

**PrinceBabey** : I also remember using it to wake you and Gold up by whacking your face with it 

**Cheezy** :  **_chaotic God fucker_ **

**PrinceBabey** : *middle finger emoji* ❤️

**PrinceBabey** : now if you’ll excuse me 

**PrinceBabey** : Leon just got a call from Sonia because Gou had fallen down and she can’t get to him from a ditch 

**PrinceBabey** : Time to go save my Son 

**Mod PrinceBabey** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**


	33. As A Little Treat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thx for the meme Tori. Also no one get used to me getting back to a regular updating schedule, finals are around the bend and I’m only uploading because I’m Procrastinating.

Group Chat:  **Alola Fuckers**

**PositiveAttention** :  _ I’m bringing the Wiffleball Bat to Alola just so I can force it down Hunter M’s throat  _

**PositiveAttention** : Also, on the topic of Hunters, why the fuck do they love going with one syllable names?!

**PositiveAttention** : that’s not very  **Gucci** of them 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : I think it’s pretty sexy if they just fuckin….

**MaskRoyalNotHot** :  **_DON’T COME TO ALOLA_ **

**FireHuh** : Pls help us save Tapu Lele ;-;

**PositiveAttention** : i’m 

**PositiveAttention** :  **_T R Y I N G_ **

**GayGrass** :  _ ufifjedk _

**GayGrass** : did I just see Ash nyoom above me on Flicker? 

**GassGray** : followed closely by Kiawe and three other Tapu’s!? 

**Bnowy** : hunter M can have a little death 

**Bnowy** : ya’know,  _ as a little treat  _

**GayGrass** :  **_WHO TAUGHT LILLIE THAT MEME?!?!_ **

**Bnowy** :  **I did**

**Bnowy** : because no one besides Ash and Hau would 

**Bnowy** : because Gary challenged me to a meme war 

**Bnowy** :  _ AND I’M NOT LOSING _

**GayGrass** : @ **PositiveAttention** _YOU_ ** _R U I N E D_** _HER!!!!!!!_

**Bnowy** : g o o d 

**PositiveAttention** : can’t talk

**PositiveAttention** : to busy tearing spines out and keeping Kiawe safe and in a complete different part of the building at the same time 

**GayGrass** :  _ I really hope you’re  _ **_joking_ ** _ Ash  _

**PositiveAttention** :  _ :)  _

**GayGrass** : a s h 

**User PositiveAttention** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**GayGrass** :  _ A S H T O N K E T C H U M  _

**GayGrass** :  _ GET THE  _ **_F U C K_ ** _ BACK HERE!!!! _

**Bnowy** :  _ Bll Bones Bre Bine  _

**GayGrass** : **_L I L L I E_ **

**GayGrass** : I don’t even know what you're saying!!!! 

**Bnowy** : Ballow 

**Bnowy** :  _ Ballow _

**Bnowy** :  **_Ballow_ **

**GayGrass** :  **;-;**

**Bnowy** :  _ Bverything Bs Bll Bkay  _

**GayGrass** : I’m 

**GayGrass** :  _ I’m gonna go lay down for a bit  _

**Mod GrassGay** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : you broke Mallow 

**Bnowy** :  **_:)_ **

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : I was the chaotic God now Lillie took my fucking title 

**Bnowy** : No!!! 

**Bnowy** :  _ Ash _ took you title 

**Bnowy** :  _ I’m _ just his pupil until i get strong enough to beat my brothers ass 

**Bnowy** : and  **_THEN_ ** I’m coming after Ash’s ass and taking the Alola title from him 

**User PositiveAttention** entered the  **GC!**

**PositiveAttention** :  _ I will bat you down like Gladion’s Lycanroc does to mine  _

**Bnowy** :  **_i will hit you with a brick_ **

**PositiveAttention** : Oh? Ain’t gonna use the Wiffleball bat? _Huh?_ **_Not gonna tear into my skull with that orange plastic abomination?_**

**Bnowy** : no because i have 1 (one) Fear 

**PositiveAttention** : come on Lillie 

**PositiveAttention** :  _ knock my ass out so I can finally sleep  _

**PositiveAttention** : _Gladion_ _would do it in a heartbeat_

**Bnowy** : I’m not Gladion though 

**PositiveAttention** : You gotta be if you want to take his ass out in a fight 

**Bnowy** : physically or menatlly? 

**PositiveAttention** :  _ yes _

**Bnowy** : are we just talking about a Pokemon Battle?

**PositiveAttention** : ….. 

**PositiveAttention** :  **_the answer is still yes Lillie_ **

**Bnowy** : I would never take Gladion in a physical fight 

**PositiveAttention** : thats fair, he is quite built for his body type 

**Bnowy** : but Mentally… _ *Eyes Emoji* *Eyes Emoji* *Eyes Emoji*  _

**PositiveAttention** : this is why i took you under my wing as my cursed Mentee 

**FireHuh** : Agent Looker is looking for you Ash 

**PositiveAttention** : I’m puking, give me a little time

**FireHuh** :  _ Disgusting _

**MaskRoyalHot** : let him puke kiawe 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** :  _ ya’know _

**MaskRoyalNotHot** :  **_just as a little treat_ **

**FireHuh** : dis _ GUST _ **_ANG_ **

**PositiveAttention** : says the girl who was not-so-secretly crushing on the Mask Royal who happened to turn out to be our teacher 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : pull  _ UP  _ **_ASH_ ** __

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : WHERE ARE YOU 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** :  **_YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!_ **

**PositiveAttention** : look at the news and see where the reporters are recording 

**PositiveAttention** : because they're gonna scatter soon when I get done puking and walk out covered in blood and vomit 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : where the fuck is Soph tho? 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : he didn't come on to call Ash’s ass out for being back in Alola 

**FireHuh** : Sophocles was kidnapped along with Tapu Lele 

**FireHuh** : for an unknown fucking reason 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : >:O !!!!

**MaskRoyalNotHot** :  **_KIAWE CURSED!!!_ **

**Mod GayGrass** has entered the  **GC!**

**Mod GayGrass** has changed the  **Chat** name from  **Alola Fuckers** to  **Sin Bin**

**FireHuh** : w h y 

**GayGrass** : Dive 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : Dive 

**PositiveAttention** : Dive 

**Bnowy** : Dive 

**User GoTogaGo** has entered the  **GC!**

**GoTogaGo** : Dive 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** :  **_SOPHY!!!!!_ **

**GayGrass** : there he is 

**Bnowy** : Sophocles!!! :) 

**GoTogaGo** : I’m back!!! 

**GoTogaGo** : and Togademaru gave me a concussion 

**PositiveAttention** : haha 

**PositiveAttention** : no but seriously, get in the fucking car Soph 

**PositiveAttention** : we all need medical attention 

**FireHuh** : WE need medical check up 

**FireHuh** : YOU just need a snack so your inhuman godly power will heal you 

**PositiveAttention** :  _ e x a c t l y  _

**PositiveAttention** : get in the fucking car so I can have my fuckin

**PositiveAttention** : **_S N A C C™_ **

**FireHuh** :  _ grumpy _

**PositiveAttention** : yes and because Lance is waiting for my ass so he can personally flame it for allowing someone 

**PositiveAttention** :  _ WHO DOESN’T “KNOW” ANY COMBAT TO SAVE HIS LIFE TO JOIN A V E R Y DANGEROUS FIGHT TO GET A GOD AND A CLASSMATE BACK  _

**FireHuh** : I’m getting in the car, I’m getting in the car 

**PositiveAttention** : G o o d 

**PositiveAttention** : take a fucking NAP in the car while your at it 

**FireHuh** : stop acting like Professor Kukui 

**PositiveAttention** : he’s a good role model 

**PositiveAttention** : now stfu and sleep so I can eat my fruit gummies in peace 

**FireHuh** :  _ GRUMPY _

————

**GayGrass** : so how did the check up go! 

**FireHuh** : Soph has a slight concussion and I only have a sprained ankle 

**FireHuh** : Ash is knocked out on the Professors couch though with Pikachu snoring on him 

**GayGrass** : w

**GayGrass** : wh

**FireHuh** : spit it out Mallow before I also fall asleep from your lack of words 

**GayGrass** : What’s Scoots like? 

**GayGrass** : ALSO WUDE KIAWE 

**User FireHuh** has sent  **File LTLP** to the  **GC!**

**GayGrass** : >:O !!!!!!!!! 

**GayGrass** : I’m coming over and bringing my Alola Legendary Stew!!! 

**FireHuh** : Everyone here would like that very much 

**GayGrass** : is Plumeria and Guzma there as well? 

**FireHuh** : seeing as Plumeria refuses to leave her wife’s side for more than a few minutes because the baby’s due any second? 

**FireHuh** : yeah 

**GayGrass** : where ever Plumeria and Professor Burnet is there’s Professor Kukui and Guzma not to far behind 

**FireHuh** : warning, Professor Burnet has the Wiffleball bat because Ash accidentally hit Guzma in the face with it without looking

**GayGrass** : did you tell them I was coming? 

**FireHuh** : yeah

**FireHuh** : @ **Bnowy**

**FireHuh** : @ **MaskRoyalNotHot**

**FireHuh** : bring Gladion and Hau when you inevitably come over as well 

**Bnowy** : !!!!! 

**Bnowy** :  **_be’re bn bur bay_ **

**FireHuh** : I regret letting Lana and Sophocles teaching me how to read Homestuck 

**Bnowy** : >:3c ****

**FireHuh** :  **No**

**Bnowy** : _ ...okay… _

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : what the fuck is LTLP??? 

**FireHuh** ; Like Trainer Like Pokemon 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : ah 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : on a very unrelated note 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : @ **GayGrass** add Gladion and Hau 

**GayGrass** : not now 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** :  **B** ls 

**GayGras** :  _ Not  _ **_Now_ **

**GayGrass** : @ **FireHuh** get someone to open the door 

**GayGrass** : foods here!!! 

**FireHuh** : Tapu, yes! I’m starving!!! 


	34. Baby boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a small update tonight with some more Reachshipping feels, as a small treat to myself because my b-day is tomorrow. 
> 
> Galars new GC:  
> DoubleEdgeTwink: Ash  
> ChampThis: Leon  
> ResearchTime: Gou  
> DragMeDown: Raihan  
> FireMan: Kabu  
> Fluffy: Hop  
> GoodFarmBoy: Milo

Group Chat:  **Sin Bin**

**PositiveAttention** : LMAO GUESS WHO FOUND OUT WHO HAS A CULT FOLLOWING 

**GayGrass** : I’M SO FUCKING DONE 

**Mod GayGrass** has  **Fled** the  **GC**

**FireHuh** : It’s never a dull day with you 

**PositiveAttention** : I just need you all to know this because Lillie found it and she somehow became a high ranking member of it in less then half an hour 

**Bnowy** : :) :) :) :) 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** :  _ bet it’s not a big following  _

**Bnowy** : oh no! 

**Bnowy** :  _ it is  _

**PositiveAttention** : AT AROUND 1.M FOLLOWERS 

**PositiveAttention** : K N O W N 

**Bnowy** : and I’m now in the top five 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : Arceus fucking Christ Lillie 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : slow the fuck down on the cursed front there 

**FireHuh** : thought you liked cursed stuff Lana?

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : yeah 

**MaskRoyalNotHot** : WHEN I’M THE ONE FUCKING BEING CURSED AND NOT OUR RESIDENT SUNSHINE DUO 

**PositiveAttention** : ha 

**PositiveAttention** : I’ve been cursed long before I was even born

**GoTogaGo** : where’s your fucking proof Ash!? 

**PositiveAttention** : Mom was visited personally by Mew like five times in her garden along with Virizion, Clebi, and she thinks Giratina 

**FireHuh** :  _ what do you mean she THINKS she was visited by Giratina?!?!?  _

**PositiveAttention** : mentioned about getting a marble bird bath in her garden around the far left corner and the next day she walked out and there was one depicting of the creation trio and Arceus + Mew 

**FireHuh** : well damn 

**GoTogaGo** :  **_THAT’S NOT FUCKING PROOF ASH_ **

**PositiveAttention** : well don’t go fucking asking my mom right now because it’s like 2 AM over there in Kanto and she had a very busy week this week and hadn’t gotten a lot of rest since Diantha and Cynthia wasn’t over there with her 

**GoTogaGo** : this is some straight bullshittery you fuck face short ass Jack the Killer rip off 

**PositiveAttention** :  _ just for that I’m fucking leaving the chat  _

**GoTogaGo** :  _ wait  _ **_no_ ** __

**PositiveAttention** : I have to go check up on my  _ Son™ _ anyways 

**User PositiveAttention** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

——————

Group Chat:  **TANAHBMK**

**Fluffy** : and this is concludes why I fully believe Bumblebee from the movie franchise the Transformers is a big gay and tans icon 

**ResearchTime** : hey yeah what the actual fuck Hop? 

**User DoubleEdgeTwink** has  **entered** the  **GC!**

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : how’s it going my tiny ducklings? 

**ResearchTime** : not your fucking kid Ash 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : I said ducklings and not children 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : so stfu and answer the fucking question  _ Mr. Brooding Under Bed Sheets Because You’re Not As Great As A Trainer Than You Thought _

**ResearchTime** :  _ wtf Ash  _

**DoubleEdgeTwink** :  **_ANYWAYS!!!!_ **

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : what the the Lucia fucking love zone is the chat names today my fellow trainers 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : except Gou because his title as Trainer is revoked because he can’t bond well with his Pokémon 

**ResearchTime** : your fuckING DEAD ASH 

**ResearchTime** : wait where the fuck are you!?!? 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : gou we’re in Hammerlocke 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : use that supposed big Brain of yours and figure it out 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : now 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : WHAT THE FUCK IS THE CHAT NAME 

**ChampThis** :  _ There Are No Adults Here Besides Mr. Kabu  _

**FireMan** : is that it? I just thought Milo sat down on his phone again 

**GoodFarmBoy** : that was just once Mr.Kabu!!! 

**ResearchTime** : but where the fuck are you actually Ash 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : and you fucking call yourself a genius 

**ResearchTime** : yo wtf Ash!?!? 

**Mod DragMeDown** has  **entered** the  **GC!**

**DragMeDown** : @ **DoubleEdgeTwink** where are uuuuu 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : the kitchen getting some good H2O in my dehydrated body 

**ChampThis** : we can't have that now 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : **_no_** **_don’t you fucking DARE LEON!!!!!_**

**ChampThis** : or else it would be a  _ Champion Time  _

**DoubleEdgeTwink** :  _ BLOCKED AND  _ **_R E P O R T E D_ **

**DoubleEdgeTwink** :  **_NO MORE SNUGGLES FOR YOU_ **

**ChampThis** :  _ w a i t  _

**ChampThis** :  **_YOU’RE AT RAIHANS HOUSE AND SNUGGLING!?!?_ **

**DragMeDown** :  _ maybe something even more than snuggling >:3c  _

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : like you’ll ever find out after what you just sent to the GC 

**ChampThis** : waIT NO 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : plus I’m cramping hard in the cold weather and Raihan is so fucking warm 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : plus he has a literal giant ass fireplace in his room for his Tortola!!!

**ChampThis** : but I’m warm to!! :( 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : you are!!! 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : you’re just all the fucking way in Wyndon when me and Gou are in Hammerlocke

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : you’re probably really busy tonight anyways and I’ll have to leave really early at the ass crack of dawn because you wouldn’t want Rose to see me with you 

**ChampThis** :  **_;-; ;-; ;-; ;-;_ **

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : Bby I know, missed getting cuddled by you to but you also have work that’s important 

**ChampThis** : so ducking close to just ditching this stupid event that’s making my migraine worse and come to Raihans Gym to join you two ;-; 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : go and deal with Rose, maybe you can slip off while going to the bathroom and join us then ;) 

**ChampThis** :  **_!!!!!_ **

**User ChampThis** has  **fled** the  **GC!**

**Fluffy** :  _ my brother is so whipped for you Ash  _

**DoubleEdgeTwink** :  _ to be fucking fair  _ **_sir_ ** __

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : my heart only belongs to  _ four _ things 

**DoubleEdgeTwink** : my mama, Pokémon, and then Raihan and Leon 

**DragMeDown** :  _ Babbby boooyyy _ @ **DoubleEdgeTwink**

**DoubleEdgeTwink** :  _ now if you will excus _ **_jnedchcbw_ **

**User DoubleEdgeTwink** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**DragMeDown** :  _ Gotcha _ ❤️ 

**Mod DragMeDown** has  **Fled** the  **GC!**

**ResearchTime** : IDK how the FUCK I survive Ash on a day to day basis


End file.
